This is an interesting discussion that catches my urge to comment on. When I was 20s, I experienced a lot of rejections and humiliations from girls as results of my poor background. The condition was so terrible to the extent that, I needed to see myself through school from primary to the higher institution. During my school days I could remember that the girls in my class then used to tell me " Is your gari enough for you alone talk less of dating a woman ". To cut the story short, all these taunts and rejections spurred me into working harder and today God has answered my prayer and give me a job in a multinational company. Now, some of the girls that turned me down before are now showing interest in me and this scares me a lot to say yes for them. In addition to that, whenever I come across any woman and the first question she asks is what do you do for living, the fear grips my heart immediately and I would begin to reflect on my past experience. So in as much as I need a woman in my life, I'm also afraid of someone who will not value my background and I don't buy the idea of divorce at all. People like me who also believe in fruitful marriage are out there as a single.

[quote author=Fxzboyz post=110197358]It’s very popular among guys saying to their selves “make money and you’ll get women”.

They’re right , you’ll get women that want your money not you.

Women like who they like, your money won’t make them like you, there’ll always be one guy she’s in love with, who you have everything more than but her heart will be closed to you.

I support this with all my life. This is a syndrome that I personally is facing at 40. Though background and struggle for survival contributed immensely on my own case, but now that God has answered the prayer, I am now left with the agony of not finding love in the time of difficulty. Last time I tried hard to convince a 32 year old lady to try me first, she said it
openly that I am old, but when she saw one of my pictures that snapped while I was in Europe and found out that I have a genuine source of income, she changed the tone. She said she was joking that age is just a number. In other hand, I have realized that this is not peculiar to women alone. There are men that are looking for women to leverage on too. So may God help us all.

I don't see anything that is wrong in dating a single mother.But the premises of doing that has to be understandable. In the situation where a woman has been on alter/registry and her husband is till alive and she keeps this to herself until a man has fallen in love with her before she made it known, I don't believe any right thing man should go for such woman. Though this is my own opinion �

She said to me, if it's by comfort, I would be the one would marry. Mehh, for months I wasn't myself.

If a girl know that you have a good job or she saw you in a good car, anyhow you approach her, she won't disrespect you. Even if you wear only pant and walk berefooted. If truly girls look at the physical appearance, people like Chatta Bandu will never get married.

Guy, forget about HND, trust me they just use that one as an excuse in order to get rid of you. If when the father asked you about what you do for living and you told him that you are working in CHEVRON or you just returned from US, trust me, they won't remember your qualification.

I would advise you to analyze the situation very well and convert it to opportunities. There are so many opportunities for HND holders too, certificate doesn't determine how well one can be successful in life . Don't miss out, Buhari doesn't has masters degree and Tinubu did not even attend Toronto University he claimed, but today, they are the one ruling this nation. Your situation is similar to my own too. I have witnessed many of such dramas, because I am an HND holder and I have been rejected by some girls that I loved deeply just because I attended Polytechnic. But I worked hard to turn the rejection to an opportunity and by that, God crowned my struggle. Today, I am giving all the glory. I have a job and my allowances alone can pay some BSc holders' salary.

In nutshell, I would like you to pray on it, if it's indeed God's will for both of you, her parents will one day understanding what their daughter need in her life and they will give you guy their blessings. But in other hand, you must work hard and show to them that you are not a gold digger, you have ambitions on your own and you deserve to be the husband of their daughter. May God guide through.

Please bros, I have two advice for you.

1; Move out of this country and have your Masters degree. Doing your masters degree in a country like Canada or UK will land you a better job over there and you will come back to Nigeria to build a house of your choice in the future.

2; I learned you are from Eastern part of this country, that gives you better chance to survive in Business than we westerner, because you guy can squeeze water from stone just to make a business to strive (This is my opinion). On this. I advise you to rent your own apartment and start your business as early as possible. I am telling you from experience, building a house is not longer an achievement these days. Once you have a formidable income, you erect your home in any location of your choice without pressure.

Let me tell you a little about my own predicament. In 2010, I landed a job in one multinational firm and things were moving fine with me, few months later I quickly decided to start building my house and I bought one and half plot of land in Lagos, I made blocks and purchased other building materials. Just for me to start the ground breaking, something serious happen and left the project since 2011 till date. Though, I had acquired another two plots of near where am working and build two bedroom apartment. But the point I want you to know is that, there was one of my friends who used to live with me in my apartment, this guy didn't buy a quarter of land then, all what he did was to save his money and study online course in university of Porthmount. While doing that, people were making jest at him, but as soon as he finished the course, he gained employment with one firm in Australia and that was the beginning of breakthrough for this guy. Now, he is money, in fact last time we talked, he told me to help him make enquiry about how much is the cost of land in Ajah and he is about to start building his own home.

In 2018, he wanted me to do the program he did then and when I made enquiry about how much it will cost me, I was told that I would need minimum of 10 million naira and during his own time dollar was 200 hundred to naira and the program cost him about 5 million naira then, whereas I had spent more than 6 million naira on building and buying land.

The truth must be said here. The relationship that would lead to fruition must be open ended from the outset. I am a man, but I am not in support of such parasitic attitude. If he's not working, that is different, but you said he has a job too.

However, if you love him, sit him down and say to his face everything he's doing that you don't like. He may not even know that he's doing wrong thing. But, in the event that he refuses to change, then you need to seek for God's direction on next step to take.

What I just have to say on this topic is to congratulate those you that have gotten married and wish some of us that are searching best of luck. Outside there isn't good for choosing partner anymore. Every single lady in the market is setting her eyes on a man with world chest.


I am a single and am working with one of the famous multinational firm in Nigeria and to God be the glory, all is well. But the major uphill am facing is whenever I meet any girl, the next question they ask is "what do you do for living" and I do reply " I work in the factory" the next thing is six lane. They don't even wait know the type of factory I am working in, whether oil factory or pure water factory they don't want to know. In fact, a lady said to me openly that, she wanted a man working in civil service or public office. I have met a lady and she told me that you will be earning small small salary and I just smiled at her and leave.

My concern now is that, must I expose my payslip for a woman just to lure her to myself? Or telling a woman at first sight that am working with oil firm just to gain her attention?.

A lesson learned from all these experiences is simple. When a man is chasing GP in the school, he should not forget to put in his plan whom he would spend the money the GP will bring to his pocket in the future. This is the greatest mistake I have made in my life and I want people to learn from my inaction.

I am a single and I am at my late 30s, but when issue of marriage arises my heart always beat. I am privilege to have good job with 6 digits salary and I own my house, but the greatest fear I am facing is what I experience from my colleagues marriages on daily basis couple with my jungle life to the stardom. To cut my story brief, I will talk about my colleague who is also my closest friend's marriage to illustrate my fear for taking the bold step. This my friend married a pretty young lady and they started life together from scratch and they were blessed with two kids. Few years later, they built their home in one remote area and they began to live there without any neighbor. The first day I visited them, I have nothing but to praise the woman for developing such audacity to live alone whenever my friend leave for work. As time goes on, my friend decided to allow his wife to enroll for her degree program in order to better their future and the life of their two kids. When the woman finished the program, she said that she is done with the marriage and that was the end. Pastors from their church, family members and friends did everything to find out what went wrong but all efforts to get things to normalcy proved abortive. Few months later, Lawyer brought divorce letter and that was the end.

One thing I learned from their marriage is that, for a couple to live together till death puts them apart, there must be effective communication and determination to sustain the union. Till today, my friend could not say this was what went wrong in his marriage and the woman also muted till she sent divorce letter.

About my jungle life. I want to say a little about myself and I do hope that the good people in this platform can advise me to kill the fear I have for marriage.
I am from a very humble background and none of my parents has formal education. I began primary school when I was closed to fourteen, I was able to foster myself from primary to tertiary institution with the help of farming activities and site jobs. These periods, I encountered several humiliations that I can't share all. The girl I was dating then, said to me open that I should go and look for my wife elsewhere because she could not see any traces of survival from me and she left me for someone else. Five months later, I got an appointment with multinational firm and God has been faithful in all aspects of my life. I have traveled to Europe and some Africa countries too but the phobia of who will make me happy and will not abscond from my life like my friend's wife is the greatest concern am facing at the moment.

A family friend who is like brother to us in the village, gained employment in October,2002. In December, he traveled to the village to celebrate new year with his family and everyone was happy for him. In January 2003, we that were seeking employment at that time wrote application for employment and gave it to him so that he can our situations too. Guess what, when resumed to his office, he was welcomed with dismissal letter. Not too long his wife left him and he resolved to learning battery charger. Till I write, he never had second chance.

In nutshell, not everyone's lineage is villain, but there are destiny killers who are waiting patiently to strike at the edge of someone's breakthrough. May God almighty deliver us from the snare of the fowlers ijn.

Bros, take heart and move on. At times, God purposely separate us from what we don't merit. But when it happens, we always become irate and look despaired. However, you are not alone on this journey. My girlfriend whom I worshipped left me sometime December last year and I felt bad about the whole situation and how it transpired. So, with the help of loved ones, I quickly get rid of any memories we might have had in the past and channeled all the admiration I have for her towards another thing that would better my life for good. To cut the story short, she is trying hard to return now but it's too late for her. She realized that, 2019 is far more better for me than the years we had spent together as she never envisaged that I could travel far to London to mark my birthday and also, the information of upgrading to my position at work reached her hearing and my impending migration from Nigeria with whoever replaces her also go unnoticed to her too.

My advice to you is simple. Believe in yourself and focus towards improving your life. With God on your side, very soon, the good news about you will spread like wildlife and those who are aiming to laugh you to scorn will attend your Thanksgiving.

My dear brother, if the job is secured and can open ways for greener pasture, the I am of opinion that you should hold it tight to chest and find ways to marry it with MSc program. Let me paint a picture here. When I was employed by my present employer, I was with only ND certificate. The rate of return, both basic and other addendums was 90k plus. Family and friends were on neck to return for my HND but I was reluctant to quit so soon, and few years later I squeezed to enroll for the program, a full-time HND program combined with full-time job, it was like end of road for me. But to cut the story short, I finished the HND program and I still have my job with me and my salary has increased by 250%, and not only that, the job has taken me to places that I have never thought of getting to in my life.The good news about the perseverance and focus is that, it's easier to get a good job if you are still active on one job. Therefore, I would advise you to pray for God's directive on any step you choose to take.

The undeniable fact is that, the ladies of nowadays expect incessant influx of fund before you can see their tooth outside. However, in my opinion, banking loan isn't an option for anyone who aims to succeed at preliminary state of any business. Girls put more insight on what is coming in than the prospects of their partners. I would suggest that you should get her seated and find out why she's acting that way, then two of you can develop a strategy for improvement.