SammyChi1988:
Everything is all about the grace of God... There are people with HND, BSc, MSc etc yet people with O'level is far more better than them.... Africans stop deceiving yourselves...

lol u are the one deceiving urself , there r no jobs for graduates n jobs for ssce holders? Right !! lol , well ssce holders r doing well but it also depends on what u mean by doing well ,, like we are all different. I for example see doing well as attaining degrees,, hving relevant importance in a company , and hving a back up business. we r all different.

vibbb:
The lady in question is the determinant, if she rilli loves you no one can stop her. Though her parents may influence her decision but then she has the final say.
Be confident and be a man, don't allow anyone to make you feel less a man.

#Goodluck.

If you are not married pls don't make the mistake of thinking that marriage is base on sole decision of your fiance hmmm it is marriage not dating.. trust me

landmark86:
I graduated from Osun State Polytechnic, Iree.
She also graduated from Babcock University.

We both met in 2015 during our NYSC at River State. We serve in the same PPA. She is good, lovely and caring. And to crown it all she is beautiful. I mean so beautiful.

It all started with friendship which later led to relationship. We share so many things together during our time in River State as per what the future holds.

After our NYSC, we both went back to our various base. She is based in Lagos while I reside in Osun. Immediate I finished my NYSC, I got a job with a private organisation as a factory supervisor. But she went further for her Masters in Covenant University, Otta. Despite the distance we still communicate from time to time and at times I do find time to check on her in Otta, while she also do check on me in Osogbo.

After her M.sc, her dad got her a job with a big company in Lagos.

Last year December she came to Osogbo as usual to check on me but fortunately she met my parents and my siblings at my place. They all love and accept her. When she was leaving the next day she told me that her parents told her that they want to meet her fiancé.

12th January, 2020 I travelled down to Lagos to meet her parents. When getting there I met her parents with her only sister. Her dad ask of my parents, state, my qualification and what I do for a living. I told him and immediately he stood up and told me he will never allow his daughter to marry an HND holder.

He said he can't send his daughter to a university & end up marry an HND holder. Never!!! Though my gal is not in support of that, even ever since that time till now she's not her self in that house.
I truly love her and I know she truly love me too. But her parents is the major concern.
Should I call it quit?

Please your advise is needed, what should I do?

My Brother, calm down

If you know you are good for there competitive way of reasoning n you love the babe so much pls give it a match, your PGD and MSc that's if you are in for there game.. you won't blame them for wanting an upgrade for there daughter abi who won't want it, everyone is seeking security for his or her bloodline.

But if I were you as proud somebody that I am I may just ditch then all , hustle hard n make sure I make it big time then settle with someone

However whatever the decision you make pls don't make mistake of trying to marry that babe without a full support of her parents o I beg you else hmmm it may not turn out well o and remember you still young you don't want to complicate your life now.

May God help you.

pasol4real:

What do u mean by he is too relaxed, or is it now a competition ? So because she has an msc the guy should kill himself to get one too right?. What if the guy becomes very successful tomorrow n employs her with her masters degree in his company, what would you then say?
N for your info the fact that she has an msc does not necessarily mean she would be more educated than the guy.
Education is way beyond paper certificates.

Nollywood

OP

My simple response

Tell ur girl to give you 18months

Go for your masters ,when you are done,enrol for another degree programme

While doing that,tell ur girl's parents to help you get a better job.

They will see your determination and might have a change of mind

humilitypays:
The reason the man rejected you is not that you are a HND holder, it is how you presented yourself plus how you sold yourself to her father when he asked about your parents and job.


Everybody in Nigeria is scared of poverty, including President Buhari that was why he hurriedly married his daughters out to sons of billionaires cos even as a President he was scared of the future of his kids lol


I can boldly tell you that most of my close friends are HND holders and they earn far more than most master degree holders, most have built their own houses, some building second houses for rent and driving their dream cars and married to ladies with far greater profile than your girlfriend.

For those screaming Masters Degree, what is a masters degree in present day Nigeria and the world when there are no jobs She's only lucky she has a connected father that helped her get a job after her Msc if not, her Msc cert would have expired in her clothing box like thousands of people in Nigeria and even outside Nigeria.


In the US for instance, if you like have 2 Msc in all those yeye courses they study in Nigeria like Marketing, Accounting, Microbiology, Biochemistry, Geology, Business Administration, Public Administration, etc, people with ordinary certificate in Nursing, and other STEM courses will earn far more than you and even get employed before you will ever get a job, so what's the fuss about


Most IOCS and top FMCGs employ mostly HND graduates; especially the engineering guys and they grow faster than most other graduates and fields.


Dangote Refinery, Fertiliser, P&G, Oil Test, Shell, Mobil, NLNG, NBC, etc employ mostly Engineering graduates with HND and most of them earn far more than Bsc and Msc graduates, so op don't let the man's action push you to depression, it is not about your HND certificate, it is about what you are currently earning, about your financial status now; probably you went to the man's house on a taxi, and dressed like an Oshogbo man, just upgrade yourself because the whole world is afraid of poverty that is why everybody is running away from poor people, not that poor people are poisonous.


Repackage yourself, there are far better ladies ahead to meet, the girl profile is not even that high to warrant the father talking nonsense, ordinary Babcock and Covenant university, what will he say about those that trained their daughters in ivy League schools in UK, US, etc He couldn't even afford to send her abroad to study where she would have met sons and daughters of Queens and Kings yet he is discriminating, life sha.


Op you are a man, man no get bad market when it comes to marriage, a man is always a good market when it comes to marriage, the only problem a man has in life is to get money. Go and get money, you will meet far better ladies with higher profile than the ordinary Babcock graduate of a girl with valueless Msc from Otta farm school....focus on moving to a better company that pays better using your work experience and once you start earning higher and start packaging yourself better, you will meet even foreign ladies with royal family background, for a man, it's all about money and your packaging. The man is only doing his daughter not you. He should visit big organisations in Nigeria and outside Nigeria and see ladies in executive positions with even PhD being used and dumped by Gigolo boys who didn't even finish secondary school....some are begging guys for marriage with all their PhD and wealth, it will soon clear from his eyes, I hate irrational people


If the yeye school his daughter attended and the yeye Bsc and Masters was that special, why couldn't his daughter use them to secure a wonderful job on her own with her father helping her to get a job Of what use is her schooling to obtain Bsc and Msc if she couldn't secure a good job on her own without her Father's help Yeye people

@humilitypays, oga you use style get bad mouth o

@landmark86, sieve through the numerous advice and do what's best for you.

This is an interesting and educative post. As a husband and parent myself I must state the following:

(1) Every parent would want the best for their kids

(2) Marriage in Africa is not just between the man and woman. For those yet to marry, pls never underestimate the influence of your both families. Most progressive unions are built on strong support of their immediate and extended families. Some men cannot even imagine breaking up with their wives due to their strong relationship with their families

(3) A good father does background checks on his kid's suitors. They do not leave such to chance. You are equally getting into this family with your daughter or son and as such you must be absolutely sure where you are going

On the basis of the above, we cannot simply assume the man got it wrong or she can do whatever she wants based on love. The father has his reasons and it is important OP sorts these out or leave

jaxxy:


Oga there is smtn called perception. U can tell when sm1 is hungry and relaxed. It's my oberservation and pls don't give me that's nollywood storyline. When u see prospect u know, when u see fake u know and when u see relaxed u know.

Like i said the father might be ridiculous bt its left for the guy to prove him wrong. Presently hes not saying much, not even plans or did u hear him mention such?

This!!!

No plans

stuffs4me:



Keep deceiving yourself.. The Op even failed to defend himself in front of the girl's dad.

The hypocrite and lazy OP should find his level and look for a fellow diploma lady like him to go and marry.

Masters no be beans..

But its sonething achieveable so bros calm down different background and different circumstances.

Guy if u truly her and she loves you that much, then the fight is for both of you since she is standing by you. Fight for you love. But if she sides her Dad guy Run from her love. Her Dad Maybe testing you or this is the opportunity to prove to him how much you love his daughter. Wish u all the best.

Ningen:


1. She can find her voice and convince her dad that you are success and marriage material.

2. You can go back to school for a degree.

3. Elope together without his blessing.

4. Get rich quick, google 'Robbin Banks' for tips.

5. Quit and move on. ( Preferred option!!)

@ bolded.. more like EDITORS choice

bezimo:
So for a guy with International masters from Europe and PhD from an American school in a STEM field and an astute professional and career decorated expert..wont this lady in question appear inferior to him by his standard particularly coming from a perspective where his siblings are married to Doctors..

Oh it's called social class, her family thinks a poly graduate is not good enough..dont they know she is not also good eneough for others too with higher professional and academic pedigree. I think this is B.S.Thats how many parents sabotage the marital destiny of their children in the name of preserving nonsense social academic class..

When Bishop David Oyedepo married his wife who was a University graduate from Ife he had polytechnic degree from kwara poly....but today he is a Dr..not honorary oh but earned in Humanities..what if her parents rejected him because he is a poly graduate..wont she have missed her destiny..who knows maybe we won't know her today..

I'm sure it's not about the degree bt prospects and vision. The guy didnt do a good job presenting himself. Every family has expectations including his, I'm sure they won't be happy with him if he brought an orange seller home as his fiance. He only needs to articulate himself better even if he hasn't yet gotten there. Nobody is saying he must have a better degree or be more than the gal bt he must have smtn going for him.

pasol4real:

So u think because she went for msc it simply means she is hungry n the guy isn’t, chai some of you could really be funny. N what is this Nollywood crap you’re taliking about. Isn’t it a common phenomenon in our society that even an ssce holder is an employer to a bsc n msc holder. Hell av even seen an ssce holder employ a PhD holder.
As for his plans you are not in his mind to know what n what not he intends to do.

Even a primary 4 holder employs PHD
But her wise father said NO

dayorich:
You sef get liver o.
Ire Poly for that matter.
MSc from Covenant University na im your pr*ck dey find.
You try.
Ede Poly and Offa Poly dey there but you nor see your mate there.
Continue...

What's the difference?

Don't quit

Hmmmmm.......Op, its actually because of your social status. Even with you HND, her dad would not have declined if you were Otedola's son rather he will be curious to know why you opted for HND instead of a degree. meanwhile,her dad may have acted irrational but truth is, her dad actually knows, how difficult it is to succeed as an HND holder in this country.

A friend with HND cert got a job recently with FIRS(GL 09).
Do you think her dad would turn my friend proposal to marry his daughter down? I bet you, he won't do that cos he has HND except for other reasons.

He should be more concern about his daughter's happiness. if her dad wants a better life for his daughter, he should help you get a better job to start with.


If you no fit move on easily, turn her to baby mama he will be force to.

My advice is very simple not because of the girl shall if her folks eventually persuades her to live u bro nvr mind not everybody is opportuned to go to school talk more a private uni. The parents on the other hand, should also understand that nor be only them fit make money for life anybody can make money and be somebody just that society, circumstances, grace, luck and any other tin u can name of plays huge roles in most of this things

No body know as u take go get ur ( HND)bros be proud of who and what u have very important. Trust me even if u where a uni graduate and u are broke her father might still say same thing. Dating a rich mans child especially female children bro is not easy especially wen u both standard ar not the same.

Upgrade urself bro, go professional and flow with her, if she's urs una go be if she isn't urs nor reason am baba life goes on. Cheers..!!

stuffs4me:



Keep deceiving yourself.. The Op even failed to defend himself in front of the girl's dad.

The hypocrite and lazy OP should find his level and look for a fellow diploma lady like him to go and marry.

Masters no be beans..

but y ? Everything here is valued at do you know who I am ?
For the fact that op can convince the said lady for a date means he is a smart guy. Not everyone is privileged going to the university talk more of a private owned
The man shld more be concerned abt the guys maturity, intelligence,personality n his spirituality over educational qualification because it can b obtained later on.
Pastor kingsly of David christain center met his wife according to him when she was doing her master's n him with just OND without a job. My uncle married his wife with bsc with just HND.
It is the poor girl I pity for because she's the only victim I see here shld Op move on and the girl find it hard to get a responsible man. She will hate that man for life.
The Op too might just be another victim if he strong-headed marry that girl because any of his shortcomings will be linked to his educational qualification n this might affect his home.
Op success is a revenge but it's more beautiful when you dnt get successful to spite people who provoke you to work harder .

Guy, forget about HND, trust me they just use that one as an excuse in order to get rid of you. If when the father asked you about what you do for living and you told him that you are working in CHEVRON or you just returned from US, trust me, they won't remember your qualification.

I would advise you to analyze the situation very well and convert it to opportunities. There are so many opportunities for HND holders too, certificate doesn't determine how well one can be successful in life . Don't miss out, Buhari doesn't has masters degree and Tinubu did not even attend Toronto University he claimed, but today, they are the one ruling this nation. Your situation is similar to my own too. I have witnessed many of such dramas, because I am an HND holder and I have been rejected by some girls that I loved deeply just because I attended Polytechnic. But I worked hard to turn the rejection to an opportunity and by that, God crowned my struggle. Today, I am giving all the glory. I have a job and my allowances alone can pay some BSc holders' salary.

In nutshell, I would like you to pray on it, if it's indeed God's will for both of you, her parents will one day understanding what their daughter need in her life and they will give you guy their blessings. But in other hand, you must work hard and show to them that you are not a gold digger, you have ambitions on your own and you deserve to be the husband of their daughter. May God guide through.

As a duly member of nairaland and by virtue of the powers vested in me, according to Section 3, subsection 5 of article A subsection 2 chapter 7a paragraph 9 of nairaland and social media Act of 2012, read together with constitutional amendment 4 of 2013, section 6 of paragraph 8, I am issuing a statement refusing to comment on this matter.....Thank you.

YOU EVEN GET HND,YOU NO THANK GOD,YOU KNOW HOW MANY DROPOUT BUT RICH THAT ARE GETTING MARRIED TO PHD HOLDERS TODAY?No be only HND na PROFESSOR GO MARRY THEIR DAUGHTER.THEY ARE JUST USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE.GO TO ALABA INTERNATIONAL,TRADE FAIR,IDUMOTA,YOU WILL SEE IGBO MEN WEY NEVER ENTER FOUR WALL OF ANY UNIVERSITY BUT EMPLOYING AND MARRYING INTELLIGENT BEAUTIFUL MASTERS DEGREE HOLDERS.
MY BRO.,HURSLE AND MAKE BETTER MONEY THE REST WILL BE HISTORY.

stuffs4me:
OP. even you have discriminated against polytechnics people because I'm very sure you have met countless poly girls but chose to go for a university graduate with masters sef.

No poly guy or girl wants to marry a polytechnic leaver yet you guys are the first people who complain about discrimination. Same discrimination you poly leavers are guilty of

My advice to the OP is to look for a fellow polytechnic girl and date as that girl he is chasing is way beyond his level in all ramifications.

very silly comment

Op, this is an eye opener,you need to upgrade to become something better. That factory supervisor or factory worker didn't cut it. You just wanna use the babe to escape poverty,and people like you would have changed the girl's orientation. If the parents agree,after you've seen the girl finish,you will start misbehaving, you might even have side chicks and be maltreating the girl, we know your type.

[b][/b]you are laughing that PHD student beg you for money, it is wise decision to raise himself check him back after two years of graduation

tuzle:
dont mind dem, I know a PhD student in funaab who begs me money for transportation any time we see and I don't even have Bsc yet

No mind am,broke man dey claim love.

stuffs4me:


True talk bro.. The OP is a gold digger and the lady's dad saw his conny tricks from a mile away. Ordinary factory worker with a diploma wants to marry a lady with B.Sc and masters that works in a big company in Lagos.

The OP should go and eat his mumu love.

thunderandfire47:
OP

My simple response

Tell ur girl to give you 18months

Go for your masters ,when you are done,enrol for another degree programme

While doing that,tell ur girl's parents to help you get a better job.

They will see your determination and might have a change of mind

If he is a serious minded guy the parent will know, even with that HND and factory supervisors work, they will respect him as a growing young man and approve of him while he sorts out himself. U can't be dating a gal seeing her step up and u just chilled doing nothing. Ure not competing bt ur brain shud tell u that u need to improve yourself.

If u dont realise that u have a serious problem even if the gal loves u, u don't love urself obviously. That's why I said he seems too relaxed bt i understand it may be because he stays in oshogbo, life is easy there like ure a retiree already if he comes to lagos he will wake up and smell the coffee. The gal is in lagos enough challenges bt then I have frnds in oshogbo coming to Lagos to do programs or travelling out so I don't know exactly what hes doing. He's chasing woman without chasing his financial security.

Op.... don't be deceived
Is only in Nollywood movies you'll see a girl from a rich family background end up marrying a guy from a poor background!!

Ybaby:


Yimu!
When it is your turn do as you wish with your precious daughter

I will allow my daughter make her right choice not to bring a law that won't favour her.

Insults do bring out the best in you,that should be a motivation for Op.

Thiwalade:
O. P, don't look down on yourself. If they don't agree to your Union, just use this as a fuel to succeed. I am where I am today because someone once said to me "what can you do with this course you went to study". I love these kinds of energies, it makes me vexed in my spirit and my determination becomes exceedingly great. I will stop at nothing until I see doubters eat their words. Be determined!

Marriage of this mischiovious character of a father does not work easily, even if u try to get the father acceptance, later or sooner...the father will be using it as a word of insult on u..
My advice is dat, leave the girl nd go for another in which her parent will accept u in who u 're nd nt what u 're.

Enroll for online master's degree. I am sure the lady will support you if she really loves you. Try to satiate her father to the fullest. If he further disagrees with the union upon the attainment of the master's degree. Then something something is wrong.

Man makes life hard for fellow man not satan.
Anyway all na for inside life.. My advice is for you to look for happiness where you can easily get it.i'm sure you know this certainly well.