₦airaland Forum

Agreed, but let's also not forget what war does to people. Their hopes, futures and mental health shattered.

The politicians should not decide so lightly to send men into battle, especially without clear objectives. I wonder what will happen to all these boys returning from Iraq

Part 5 - our honeymoon

My wife absolutely wanted to go and visit London, so we decided that we would have our honeymoon there. Unfortunately, we would not go immediately after our marriage. We went to the UK embassy to find out what the visa regulations were for her to enter. As we were only just married, we had to wait 6 months before she could apply for a UK visa. that meant postponing our honeymoon for 6 months. Well, we just stayed home for 2 weeks, made some day trips and went to the Ardennes region for a long week-end just to enjoy nature. After 6 months, we finally decided to go and apply for a visa. The consular staff in the UK embassy was very wary and uncompromising. It seemed like they wanted to go through my complete past, just to find out whether or not we would settle down in the UK.

By that time my wife was 6 months pregnant (yes, Layi conception happened after our marriage - not that this means anything), so we would have to take it easy on our trip. We had to take it easy and passed by all the usual tourist attractions, but at a leisurly pace. After about a week, my wife finally could contact some of her family and we could stay over in their house for the last days of our trip. Even though they were not the closest of family, we probably have not found any of her people that we are still so close to. We regularly spend Christmas with each other.

Anyway, after we came back, her pregnancy has becoming rather hard on her and she had to take it very easy for the last 2 months. We were looking forward to the birth of our first baby.

To be continued

I'm thinking it took you a long time, Goodguy

That's exactly what he was talking about. The region was supposed to be pacified (at least that's what the media was reporting). They were on patrol and all of a sudden they were under fire. One of his buddies got a nasty wound in his belly and his intestines were bulging out. He died in my friend's arms. They were under rules not to return fire under any circumstances. After that happened, they switched off their radio's and went after the people that fired on them.
Apparently, it was a 14 year old boy that shot at their buddy. They took him and he was never seen again. My colleague really didn't want to go into any details of what they did to the boy, only that that incident made him quit.
If he would have stayed, he would never have been able to function anymore in a civilian environment.

He told me of some of his former buddies that became psychotic. There was one incident in which a paratrooper started behaving strangely after a tour and his wife divorced from him. Afterwards he took his children, drugged them and drove his car into a canal where they drowned. That was someone from his platoon.

That friend of his that died in Bosnia was reported to be killed in a training accident. The media reported him as overrun by a Tank, just a cover up.

Tom isn't affraid of owls

Still a little older

Aicha getting older

Both of them together, sleeping in the car

here some more pictures of Tom

And here's my son Tom, just a few weeks before his sister was born

As promised,

here are a few pictures of my children. Hope you all enjoy

First one, My daughter Aicha when she was just one week old. She was premature by 1,5 month so she was really tiny

Trooper:
@ nferyn. Have you ever been in the Army ?

No, but I had a friend and collegue at my former place of work who was a captain of the Belgian paratroopers. We had lots of long discussions and have learned a lot from what he told me. Especially concerning the reasons why he quit. He was in Bosnia and because of what he'd been through there, he decided to quit rather than to lose his sanity.

And rules of engagement had a lot to do with his decision

Is an insurgency against an official (regardless of its legitimacy) authority and act of war or an act of terrorism? Can only states be at war? What about a civil war where there are a lot of irregulars?

It's easy to play with these concepts to broaden or limit what your rules of engagement are. Anyway, I think the convention of Geneva is what should underlie the specif rules of engagement of any combattant party. Only problem is, this gives no options to a weaker guerilla force to try to confront the stronger force. In these cases, I still think the stronger force should stay within the boundaries of the Geneva convention, even though the opposing party cannot possibly follow these rules.

Could you first define battle? What sets it apart from other violent engagements?

Hi Vexxy,

Nowhere did I say that abortion is something good. Unwanted pregnancies should be avoided at all costs. Abortion is indeed an operative medical procedure and, as with all such procedures, a lot of things can go wrong. You examples show that it is certainly not something that should be done lightly.

Anyway, I think that the way the US is handling abortion is on the verge of the immoral. The conditions under which these are carried out, as well as the required counseling and post-operative follow up are insufficient to say the least.

This leaves the door wide open for the cases you describe to occur. I have not heard of one such case either in the Netherlands or in Belgium.

Many abortions scar the women emotionally for life and that's why:
* everything should be done to prevent unwanted pregnancies
* the abortions that would still occur need to be done under strict medical, legal and emotional guidance
* extensive post-abortive counseling is necessary

If you would ever have the chance to visit Belgium, I could show you the center of reproductive medicine at the AZ VUB (the University I went to) and show you the counseling and care that is given to such patients. It never has to come to these kind of horrific scenarios you described.

I personally think that the way health care is organized in the US, in an almost exclusive for profit organization, is leading to these kind of situations. When you have comprehensive universal health care for all citizens, time and care can be given to the people that decide to undergo abortions so that the negative effect thereof are minimized.
I would dread to be a poor woman in the US with an unwanted pregnancy.

joshjosh:
we all agree this is wrong and should stop. the word " female genital mutilation " should be kept in the america press where it belongs.

What else would you call the cutting off of the labia and/or the clitoris but female genital mutilation. The matter is plain and simple, twisting words to fit a preconceived condition of western oppression is not helping much. Luckily the majority of Nigerian men on this forum understand this.

@ obj
Your post does not make sense at all. What's your point?

Human dignity is human dignity, regardless of culture. If you are so informed and researched on the topic, why don't you show it in your post. you have not brought one solid fact. I must agree with allonym: your post is indeed a prime example of a judgemental, uninformed and unresearched reply.
Please do your research and then come back

Those pictures are indeed lovely. Wish more people would do it. I will set the example this evening. Hope more will follow.

temilo28:
i believe u don't know the implication of a blood cove nant,moreover it is just a stupid youthful thing

there are no implications, except for the mess you make while performing the act (hygiene, possible HIV transfer, ...)
The other implications are just superstition

IAH:
Ha! It is so important o! Infact, that's one of the reasons I want to get married early. Because I want to have sex.

It is indeed important and you won't have a [i]complete [/i]relationship without good sex. It is necesary, but not sufficient

I don't say it's wrong. It is neither right, nor wrong. Seun's answer made a lot of sense to me.
I just wished people would stop bein so obsessed about sex either in the positive or in the negative sense. It just happens to people, it's natural and there's nothing wrong with it.

Seun:
Because I am a 23 year old virgin and it seems like it would be a shame if I end up with a girl who has been with other men. It would be as if my (relatively rare) decision to wait has been pointless, and I don't want to believe that!

Why have you waited? What was you motivation?
I don't see the point in waiting in the first place

Seun:
Yes, it is wrong because if all girls engage in premarital sex I will not be able to marry a virgin!

Why on earth would you want to marry a virgin?

@ Bagoma

Thank you for sharing your story.
I truly hope you'll be able to overcome your loss and find someone to love again and to be there for you and the children.
Life has taken too much from you, let's hope that happiness is just around the corner for you

Part 4

By about 2:30 PM we went over to the Restaurant where we were going to have our dinner and party.
Prior to that we had a reception for my colleagues and some other people that were not going to attend in the evening. Everything went smooth and we received some absolutely beautiful flowers and plants.

After the reception, the usual stuff took place: eating, drinking, chatting, ... By 7 PM, they were bringing the wedding cake that we had to cut. What I didn't know was that inside the wedding cake they put two doves. We opened the cake an to everybody's surprise two doves appeared in perfect union.

At about 8 PM we were opening the dance with the song 'Seven Seconds' by Youssou N'Dour and Neneh Cherry. This song still gives me us a very warm feeling and brings us back to that day. The dancing went on until about 5 in the morning. When we were entering our apartment, a big surprise awaited us. While we were at the party, 3 of my friends went back to our apartment and filled our bedroom with balloons. That's what friends are for, right? There were so many balloons we couldn't even enter the room. It took us about 2 hours to clean up the mess so that we could go to bed and have some time for ourselves.

Next part: our honeymoon

allonym:
maybe the two decided to wait until marriage for sex and thus did not have any idea there would be such a difference in their urges.

That's why 'waiting untill marriage' is not such a good idea

allonym:
or the guy has a large drive but the wife only feels like it once a month. . . lotsa frustration there that isn't cured by knitting

And, come to think about it.... why on earth did that couple marry in hte first place if there's such a big difference in their sexual urges

In general I agree with this approach, but it is not always feasible in real life. And fully shielding your children from the big bad world is not advisable either as it will have a negative impact on the overall development of the child.

Concerning wetting the bed, this is something that should never be punished. The causes for this are either physiological or because of some emotional disturbance, it can never justify punishment.

Seun,

You're forgetting that children of different ages need different types of disciplining. It's pointless to try to explain what exactly he did wrong to a two year old boy. A simple stimulus-response disciplining is required at that age. Put him in the corner or in another room, but most importantly: do it immediately after the offense. If you wait longer that even 20 seconds, he will not understand why he is being punished.

Too many times have I seen that parents wait to discipline their children until it becomes intolerable and then lash out in anger. You need to act immediately with young children, if not you won't have the desired result and that's how those intolerable, [b]difficult [/b]children are created.