₦airaland Forum

darkgoddes:
this is a difficult one oo.

i know becos i had been in this situation b4, whereby a guy was madly in love with me but i felt absolutely nothing for him.

at the end of the day, i didnt see myself being with him in a relationship.

my advise, just keep being her friend but try and move on with your life, ok.

No, no! It's not as difficult as you paint it, you know. @darkgoddes (cute handle), the problem you had with your "friendly" friend is that eventhough he was in love with you, he didn't play his part to make you feel attracted to him. Therefore, you felt nothing "deep" for him at all. Friendship is a very different ball game from dating. It is possible; only that the guy is supposed to lead and pilot the transition.

Cheers! 

carvone:
1 Can somebody that truly loves you come up with this after so many yrs?

2,What do i do ?Am confused  and to make matter worse,we are in 2 diff states,we rarely see
A part of me is saying am wasting my time,while another part of me is saying i suld still be patient but for how long nairalanders?

Answer to Question 1

Yes! Someone that truly loves you might become tempted to suggest such a thing to his loved one (but you must realize that he was tempted by you to do so!) The reason? Like he said, he wants you to be happy, and believe it or not, he TRULY loves you. And take note that men naturally need to be left alone to solve their problems. Learn not to bother him so often, or doubt his confidence and ability to make it. He is the MAN! Instead, tell him such words as, "Honey. It's not your fault. I know you are trying your best, and I am sure that everything will soon be fine. It's just a matter of time. So, cheer up!"

Reason it: he is willing to sacrifice being with you to make you happy (if you eventually find someone who has the money), and let himself go unhappy for the rest of his life. Pity him! Haba! After all these years? Why quit now? He needs you right now more than ever girl!


Answer to Question 2

You are not confused! Get that first. You are only trying to (unconsciously) listen to what the people around you are telling you. My dear, people will always talk; whether what is happening is good or bad! Shut out the other voices and listen to the soothing words your heart keeps on telling you; "You love and you trust him. You have come this far with him. FINISH YOUR RACE!"

Distance doesn't matter! Learn to see everything in life as risky. And indeed, (believe me) of everything we do on this earth, no one is ever certain of anything; from investment to business, from learning the real thing to taking exams, and so on. That is why you must pray. Prayer will give you the most certain answer from God; JUST the way you want that situation to change to. Pray also from the bottom of your heart so that he'll get a job soon, as well.

Have a peaceful mind!  because nothing is wrong. He loves you; VERY much. Hold onto him. This is what marriage will look like later. Tell me, if you can't trust him or a word he says now, will it be then when you're now ONE that you will?

FINISH YOUR (SWEET) race,  THE HONEY IS JUST ONE FOOT WAY!

@hbabe

I have just a few words for you: "Men reason logically; women reason emotionally. Men think; women feel." That's the key to any "secret key(s) you may desire to know (or maybe, learn from me? That is if you beg hard enough!)

I don't really expect you to get it, but if you did; you're SMART!

Hope we get to chat sometime. Don't forget to remind me about this issue. I'll gladly answer you (with an OPEN heart!  )

My answer (Yes or No) would vary on actually alot of conditions and personality types.

Personally, it'll mean alot more to me kissing someone very special to me. Just one.

NEXT QUESTION!

Men, what you are supposed to do is very simple.

Now is the right time to prove to her and especially yourself, that you are a MAN! Convince her and show her reasons why you think that age shouldn't matter in your relationship. You are the MAN! Women wait to be led by men. They follow. Men determine the pace of a relationship, so please stop whimping and acting scared!

Go back to her, be yourself and tell her exactly why you think she MUST overlook your age compatibility. You know exactly what you feel (or think) when you are mourning over her in your room, don't you?

Now, move boy! Tell her exactly how you feel. Age doesn't matter one bit!

peroxide:
Hi I'm best friends with this amazing woman for about 5 years now. I've been deeply in love with her for a long time (with her knowing that, and not willing to be my girlfriend, saying she doesn't feel the same way as I do). Plus she wants to go out and date but hasn't found anybody yet. Anyways, I'm almost 100% sure that if she agrees to go on a date with me just once to try and that if she only gave me that one chance, I can make her fall in love with me.

One problem: How do I ask her out? Without creating tensions? We've had fights about our relationship before and everything gets well because we're too good friends. I just need to find a way for her to give me a shot at dating her once. I need to find an original, innocent, and unselfish way to ask her out for dinner for example. How do I do it?

Please, I'd love to get your ideas because I'm really out of them! Thanks in advance!

Men I understand your situation completely. Though everyone that's replied to you so far may be right one way or another, I know you need very practical advice. I'm a consultant and I'll help you.

Check my profile, and add me to your Yahoo! Messenger chat list. Let's talk, okay?

Cheers! (You'll get her to that date, anyway!)

To be sincere with you all, nice guys only make good husbands, not boyfriends. MOst of the time, single ladies need bad boys to hang around and flex with. Ladies, am I on track?

Self-Learning is the best way to catch up in IT, but don't underestimate the power of a degree in Nigeria. Let's face it; no one may give you a chance if you don't get that important 4-year cert. Good luck!

Bro, first of all, you gotta believe in your ability; I mean your natural ability to learn, master and excel in the particular field of IT that you're headed. Now why do I say that? You see, all these guys do is actually take you through a curricula and whether you catch up or not doesn't matter so much to them. Believe me, a certain guy saw me working on a system and started bragging about his being an APTECH student. This same guy came back the following day asking me to look into removing a "common" virus on his laptop computer.  If APTECH that trained him cared so much about the amount of money that he paid them to receive their training on "Programming", they would have made sure you knew it before leaving them. What am I saying? Make sure that you know what you're doing from the beginning. Don't expect them to make you a guru in a few months.

Now as for which school, let me say this. NIIT is owned by Indians and can be quite expensive. AfriHUB is owned by a Nigerian and is relatively cheap. NIIT's quality is OK and undeniable. AfriHUB is great and wonderful academically. If you must know AfriHUB bagged the Cisco Academy's award last year for their superb Cisco certification training. Men, I don't work in AfriHUB and I am somehow surprised that I am testifying for them so well, but a good reputation always precedes a great person.

Guy, you know what to do, 

tosyne007:
@poster, point of correction: she aint ur girl and i think u shuld get that straight. Like u said, u ar just trying to come in and i'm not sure wat u feel for her is genuine love. Are u sure it's not INFATUATION.

I disagree totally about u knowing her better than her boyfriend. That cant be true cos u guys were only together for few weeks and her boyfriend must have been with her for quite sometime. Married couples can't even boast of knowing eachother inside out, therefore get that impression out of ur mind.

I wouldn't want u to get me wrong or feel i dont feel ur pain. It's possible u hav feelings for her but i think it's too early for u to decide she's the best girl for u or u are the best guy for her. Like someone said, maybe she took u as rave of the moment only to realise that she cant joke with her present relationship. My advice is u allow her make her decisions. It's not good to force relationships, if she's not ready to give u a chance, why not let go. U definately will find anoda person. U said somtin abt both of them quarelling, it's normal in relationships, partners are expected to hav misunderstandings but the beauty of it is to resolve wateva it is and move on. (it only makes the relationship stronger)

Moreover, how do u plan to make it work when u guys are a far apart. In ur case, u guys still hav a long way to go in knowing eachother better and i dont think that can be done with the distance btw u two.

PS: I will also ask u to put urself in the other guy's shoe, would u like the idea of someone trying to take ur babe? i bet u wont. Respect her decision please.

I understand your point of view, but also note that I didn't actually say a "few weeks". I meant months; you know, weeks that you can't keep count of, because you're carried away with the one you love and spend all your time with. Honestly dear, I love her and I believe I know the difference. Right where I am now, I am still faithful to her. I have no one else in mind. Just help me with practical advice please.

izeek:
well maybe her stating u guys are just friends and all that and keeping this distance is cos
she realised that what she has presently is worth keeping and seeing through.
wat tells that u might not be like that same dude in a couple of years if she decided to give u a chance and let the other go?
am not against u bro, am just trying to speak through her eyes.

there are issues she has to consider here and one of them is what kinda future will u be able to give her.
i mean are u working, if u are are u financialy stable, are u ready to settle down soon?
there are issues she has to put in perspective bro,
i suggest u just continue to call her and be nice to her and show her how much u care.
the best u can do right now is hope she has a change of heart.
cos dude i wont ask u to pray she splits with her bf, thats very uncool and u wudn't want some1 praying likewise for u.

Guy, thank you "three" much for your talk. It seems you understand my position better. Wish we talk via IM. Thanks alot,

Hello everyone. I have a problem and it's drowning me wickedly. I need to share it with everyone here.

My problem is this: the girl I'm in love with is my friend but she has another guy. Moreover, we're far from eachother. Okay, let me break it down from the beginning.

Last year November, when I just came back from Abuja to spend my holiday at home was when I got to discover that we had gotten new neighbours. But being a reserved and introverted person, I never really went over to say "Hi". Not until one fateful evening. She passed my house and seemed to be going on a stroll down the street. Being bored with nothing worthwhile to do, I didn't think it such a bad idea to take the walk with her. Actually, I asked for her companionship and she obliged. I got to discover her name was Ify and God knows, soon enough, we just got along. 2 days, 3 days, 4 days later, we were really into eachother; but only as friends. On the Eve of Christmas then, we strolled quite some distance into the night, talking and laughing. At that moment, my mind for a flash of a second thought about kissing. Something tells me that at that moment, she saw the flash in my mind because the gaze into our eyes lasted for a significant second. We fell back speechless in the back of a taxi-cab we boarded home. But that night, I sent her a love text message, disguised as Christmas greetings. With some resistance from her end, it didn't take long before she fell in love too. We kissed and wrapped eachother tightly that great day. Things continued sweetly for weeks, until the guy she was still dating began to suspect us.

Things took a drastic turn, as she tries to please this guy at the expense of the love we feel. She now even denies the emotions that try to break free from her heart when we talk. At worst, she pretends that I'm just a friend and nothing more. I know this guy because she introduced me to him as her friend. Moreover, he doesn't deserve her. They quarrel most of the time. He cheats on her repeatedly (I even caught him once at an occassion red-handed!). He doesn't know half about her life as much as I do know about her. We're friends and better than friends.

Guys, I honestly don't know what to do. I love my woman and I don't see the crime in loving a friend. I mean who else should I date if not someone I have come to know as well as myself? Guys, it's even worse now that I am back in Abuja, but I need to have my girl back. I can hardly think straight without seeing her smiling in my thoughts. My dreams about her haunt me with loneliness when I wake up. I miss her and I love her.

I'm tempted not to apologise for this long story but I hope you enjoyed it anyways (despite the fact that it's a serious case). Guys, help me out. Ladies, what do I do from where I am (I mean I'm in Abuja and she is in Delta State.) What can I do or say to change her mind from a distance. To make her know that a call from her would mean alot to me.

I wouldn't mind giving her number to a lady in the house to help me talk to her heart for me: woman-to-woman.(No apologies at all guys)

Thank you all!

Nairalanders and topics sef!

Ok. My phone was a Siemens something something,

Thanks for lifting my ban, mod! My ban was like a cop arresting me in Washington DC because I look like Sadam Hussein?!! 

Well, I missed this thread, but sincerely think it's about you shut this discuss down, moderator.

God bless.

Chou.

Just because my country or continent is reluctant to move with the times, doesn't imply I should relax and say, "It's true. Abeg, let me rest, "

I fully support the Google OS and I am truly still waiting.

Chou!

Iya!

Now we can rest bah?

judicus:
Yes, it depends on how seriuos you are, it is usually not so much about the money but the willingness to learn, if you are really really serious then call me:08034341134,08077708099

I will be expecting your call

Better and more professional method to promote. Don't we'll relearn netiquettes together.

Chou

Even though this is not the right place to post this question, I understand that the problem must be bothering you pretty badly. Now, let can me rephrase your question into my own version: Can a Born Again Christian Work In a Brothel as a love-vendor; you know managing the prostitutes?

I'm sure your conscience is answering back right now. Note this down please: NOT ALL JOBS ON THIS EARTH ARE MEANT FOR GOD'S PEOPLE.

Personally, I'd say turn down the job and believe God for better offers,  and why not, a better idea! I believe you sound like someone who has the potential to start something on your own. That is, entrepreneurial ability. I know, because you exhibit the ability to question your actions responsibly. Give it a try. Ask God for ideas. Perhaps, He wishes that you use your gifts to even employ others. I have seen stories like this; over and over and over.

Pray my dear. This is just the beginning of your discovery,

Chou! 

goldincome:
Go to Netxpert Solutions to learn it at:

Block B, Suite 17 & 20 PrimalTek Plaza,
Cele Bus-stop, Off Apapa-Oshodi Express Way, Lagos.
Phone:01-7430567(Office time), 08037184179

I don't mean to spite you nor do I intend any negative commentary on you, but let us be professional please. Promotion of one's business or company in reply to someone's problems can really piss people off. It repels the majority away from your business, instead of what you intended. Take note dear,

Chou,

Phemour:
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Special from Phemour  

Seun is trouble o!!! I bet a brand new car is coming his way; NOW! IN JESUS' NAME , NAIRALAND SAY AMEN?!

[flash=200,200]http://www.365greetings.com/resource/picture/Birthday/General/birthday-1011.swf[/flash]

(SEUN, PLEASE PLAY THE FLASH MOVIE ABOVE. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY!!!!!)

Happy Birthday Seun, on your ?? year birthday!

Now, (you must reply o), how old are you now? I know, I just want to hear from the horse's mouth,

Chou,