₦airaland Forum

byvan: There is definitely something that OP is not saying,no one is this good.i believe she knows something about you that you don't know that she knows, thus her preparation to live a life without you.

Something is definitely wrong somewhere and it is not just with OP's wife.

soul_glo: OP what exactly do you think she is telling these people? What have they said she tells them? I know people who do this running to everybody to cry about how bad things are over silly things so I honestly believe that part. What I find difficult is that Pastors, numerous people both from her family and non family members keep coming into your home to settle issues. Lets take her mother and siblings out of the equation. If she is not saying some pretty crazy things then I find it hard to believe that all these people keep coming in. So what exactly is she accusing you of. I am not taking sides. I just want to be clear cause it is obvious that this is giving you grief.

baby_123: What responsibility does she have in the home.
She chosses any responsibility freely and at random ranging from getting some foodstuffs, clothes for the kids to contributing to school fees at times

Why do you think she built without your knowledge?
I think she is having a plan B for reasons best known to her. But I have no other wife and no other children except from her

Are her family members comfortable in their own home or is she from a poor background trying to settle the mum
she's from an average home as her mother lives in one of the two flats built by her late father.

Even if you provide all these, can you hand on heart look back and say you have been a good husband and father.
Yes I can confidently say I have been a good husband and father even though no one is 100% perfect

How are you about how she spends her money?
She has refused to make that a topic for discussion on sevaral occasion saying it is "her money"

Do you dictate everything she does or do you give her freedom to accomplish some goals.
I don't dictate anything to her and no matter how I encourage her to be open and bring any issue whatsover for discussion, she always prefers to keep mute and be conversing with her mother and family everytime. Whenever I am with her, she doesn't take their calls so I don't know what they are discussing

Do you both have a common purse for family expenses?
No common purse whatsoever. I just do the best within my ability and leave the rest to God. Even when I tell her I need to go borrow money with interest from individuals to finance family projects sometimes, she pays deaf ears

You should always have savings and she should contribute to taking care of the home too.
That is what I have suggested now which she is resisting threatening divorce insted That is why you guys are partners.

I see already that there is a communication breakdown, maybe you are not easy to talk to and she is not a good listener either.
She doesn't want any discussion at all because her mindset is that everything centres on her moeny. I have engaged her severally using different strategies like taking her out, etc as being suggested here all to no avail

I feel if you both work on your communication skills and understand that it is okay to lose an argument once in a while then things will be better. However no one can ban the others family members and not expect theirs to be banned too.

baby_123: This financial aspect. What do you bring to the table in terms of money. Do you spend on your family? Or are you one of those men that spend on strangers and girlfriends neglecting your own family. Just so that you can get outside fame? Just asking.

vanitty: This "minor" argument that you have that makes her call everyone and their mother, could you please tell us a few? Also has she ever suspected you of cheating or insinuated that she does not trust you?

o42austino: @Op, my bros i understans u to my bone but the truth is that u did not start early to handle her Bleep up and that of her family. My woman use to behave like ur wife, calling her mum and all her family members whenever we hv little misunderstanding. My mother inlaw use to call me to ask Whats going on but one day i told her never to call my fone again and i went as far as Banning their family members not to come to my house again except during child birth that i know that she needs her mum.
Before i took this harsh but useful step she(my wify) use to talk to me as his house boi and she use to shout divorce to my hearing as if she is delivering presidential address or command to me but one day we had exchange of words and she packed her baggs and leave without a word. maybe she thinks that i will hold her back but i did not. I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH THAT I COULD NOT WATCH HER LEAVE BUT I HV TO PRETEND AS IF I DONT CARE. after the event i called my home boi that is living near her parent house to info him and let him tell d developments. later the guy call and told me she is at their family house. to be honest i locked up but was feeling her absence at home but i hv to do what a man had to do. After two montths of not hearing from me their people called with a peace offering.

OP, the bulk of the blame lies with u for giving her a three year leverage which has now become a habit and attitude but all hope is not lost. Am not an advocate of divorce so u will not get that from me but if she ever mentioned that word again force her to the wall to see what happens dont shy away from it. I know ur problem maybe money but dont let her use that as a leverage. She is not the only woman that has money, one of my two my sisters has money more than the husband but she respect and fear the man die that she can't do anything for anybody without the husbands approval and she is building house now in ABJ with the husband full blessing so don't let ur wife get away with her tricks. be the master of the game and stay ahead of her but let her know every munite that u love her. If i can stop my woman so u can.
I opened a thread here called ABUSIVE WOMEN, THE RAISING THREAD IN OUR SOCIETY and chicks tot it was a joke but now is another case of q young dieing in silence and depression of the verball abuse he is suffering in his family. I THINK IS HIGH TIME AN N.G.O IS SET UP TO PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF MEN IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Chillisauce: Just admit you came here looking for comments like steph7 comment.
You got it, now go make the decision.

Nashville: He has just answered you. It all started three years ago, when the wife started making more money than he was. The truth is that the wife has problems with her background and that is very difficult to change. You cant blame the husband for the wife's background.

On his own family advising him, there is nothing wrong in seeking advise from family members as long as the final decision is his. Nobody is telling him how to run his house, he is only seeking advise because what he is facing is unusual.

I agree with you his wife does not respect him. She seems like someone that only respects money. I can assure you that if the poster gets a $100mm contract today and becomes very rich, she would suddenly become very respectful again. A woman like this is very difficult to manage. As long as she is listening to her family members, there will never be peace.

pickabeau1: If this is true,,, she may have someone outside or in the wings

Wallade: @Niteshift, I think you should check Urself too. There is obviously a way you take up issues with her that she can't handle. Check your approach to handling issues with her, discuss it with her and you will discover her fears in handling issues with you. Then encourage her to be bold enough to discuss the issues with you rather than outsiders. I also think there is more to this than you have told us. I strongly feel her actions are reactions to your ways.

Chillisauce: Settle your household ...MBA.

Separate....MBA

pickabeau1: I know that thread and i assumed you mentioned she had apologised that she was misled by her friends and that the MIL is possibly involved with the priest
Is there any new development since then

Ngokafor: ..now your story is bordering on the ridiculous!...are you sure you are not catching trips at people's expense here??...which one is human rights lawyer again??...hian!...*unfollows thread*...

joel lala: Am glad you said these kind of people drive you crazy thats why you have to show her love constantly becos if you give in to your anger you will be forced to do what you will regret for the rest of ur live..these kind of women are dangerous in the sense that dey know how to ridicule the husband to the fullest through their falsified stories when reporting the man..

wasak: confiscate her phone, destroy her sim card, if she questions u, tell. her u are treating her like a child because She's behaving like a child, let. her know you'll continue treating her like a child until She's mature! what nonsense!

Mr Aboki: Ogbeni, take one Alomo for my head jor!

These people just dey carry theirself play! Even God sef shock for the miracle..

wolajumoke: Wonderful marriage is not made of two perfect people but two forgivers

Toppiano: He should come and break your head to save democracy...abi? Mtcheeew