this news no be today now!

please who knows how much sec pays

Ingredients for a Successful Marriage Relationship

Many people dream of a happy married life. But for most the dream never comes true. For some it begins to crumble on the wedding day, others have theirs last the honeymoon, few succeed. I have suggested here ingredients that are necessary for successful marriages. The tips might be helpful for other forms of relationships.

Unconditional love: love is more than a feeling, an emotional high, rising body chemistry, fantasy or even sex; even though they may have something to do with it. It is a commitment to the welfare of your partner. Unconditional love means loving your partner no matter what. It means you will love them whether they love you or not; it means to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do you part.

Selflessness: selflessness means each partner thinks not just of his/her interest but their collective interests. It means their thoughts, judgments, decisions and actions are not guided by personal and selfish interests but the interests of both partners.

Trust and trustworthiness: trust is necessary for the success of any relationship. In marriage it means handing over ones heart, body and resources to his/her partner with the confidence that he/she will not cheat or do anything hurtful by using them for any purpose not acceptable to both. This level of trust should be initial; subsequently, trust is earned. Trustworthiness is behaving in a way deserving of such trust. Every partner must work at credible behaviour mutually acceptable in order to earn trust. Many other things depend on this.

Respect: for a marriage to be successful there must be mutual respect. This means treating your partner with honour and dignity. It means valuing your partner. It means you won’t abuse your partner; you won’t shout on them nor fight them. It means you won’t embarrass them in public and you won’t speak evil of them either before or behind them. Naturally, we gravitate towards people who respect, value and treat us with honour. Your partner will become more attached to you if you respect them.

Faithfulness: faithfulness has to do with pleasure and affection. It means giving and receiving pleasure and affection to only one person i.e. your partner. Unfaithfulness refers not only to physical acts of sex and sexual affection and pleasure; it also means emotional attachment to somebody else apart from your partner. It means secret admiration of another person. It means spending unnecessary time with someone that is not your partner. It means sharing or giving your heart to somebody else. While you still have good conscience, it means crossing the unwritten boundary. Once there is unfaithfulness a marriage is failing.

Communication, Openness and Honesty: communication is talking, openness is saying it all, while honesty is saying the truth. Communication is essential because it is the means by which views are shared, pleasures and displeasures are expressed. Openness depends largely on trust. When there is no trust, couples don’t open up. Openness means having no secret in your mind, heart and life that is not laid bare before your partner. Honesty means saying the truth always.

Forgiveness: offenses are bound to come; nobody is perfect. If partners don’t learn to forgive and give up resentments, anger and frustrations from each others actions, they will gradually drift apart. Forgiveness means deciding not to deal with your partner according to what his/her actions deserve.

Allowance: there comes a time when your partner needs their space. Your relationship will be bliss if you discern such moments. There are times they need to be alone, there are times they need to hang around with just their fiends without you, and there are times they need to be private with their family. You are wise if you know such moments and grant them the space. Secondly, your relationship will succeed if allow your partner to be themselves. You were created unique. This means you are different. Usually the point of difference is a point of collision for many because we innately desire others to think and behave like us. But you cannot change the essential nature of your partner; the best is to refine or modify them. If you are the same in thought and action, you are likely to reap multiplied consequences of your negative traits. So God created you different to complement each other. You do well if you allow your partner to be themselves. Again this has to be mutual.

Adjustment: this is a necessary companion of allowance mentioned above. Your uniqueness and differences means you must constantly shift grounds in order to walk together. A relationship where each partner always insists on having their way is heading for the rocks. There are times you need to give up your point/grounds even if you are sure you are right.

The God factor: A relationship will be successful if the individuals involved have personal relationship with God and if they are individually committed to obeying God and doing his will in all areas of their lives. It will be successful if both partners are committed to building their relationship based on the principles of God. There are times only your allegiance to God will save you from the weakness of your flesh. The importance of prayers cannot be over emphasized. Your best efforts might not produce expected results. I wish you success. God bless you.


Yakubu Ibrahim
yakmog@yahoo.co.uk,
+2348036331025

this article though long may interest you especially the young

A young person is one who has reached a point where he can take responsibility for any aspect of his life no matter how insignificant it seems. It is a state and an opportunity that one has only once in his lifetime. It is a passing phase; usually it slips away. Most people only discover that they were young. Unfortunately, young people are either engaged in unprofitable or destructive associations and activities. They end up learning things and making mistakes that have far reaching implications for the rest of their lives. I have written here few suggestions that will be profitable to the young in this regard, if they take heed.
1. Personal and Profound Relationship with God: the first and most important priority is to seek, have and maintain a relationship with God at the earliest age possible. God is our maker, he has plans for us, he knows the tomorrow of our lives; it is only with him that we can become the best. As soon as you can read this, seek a personal relationship with God. This is how to do it; realize that as a man you are a sinner, repent of your sins, accept and believe the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ on the cross for you, pray always, get a bible, read it always, obey its instructions, believe its promises and join yourself to a church or fellowship where you can get enough encouragement from other believers. This is the most important decision you can ever make in your life. If you make it, it will save you many troubles and regrets.
2. Self Discovery: the next priority is to discover yourself. Look inwards to discover your potentials – the things you can do easily, your aspirations – what you desire to become in life and your interests – things you like to do. These will help guide your decisions and actions as you grow up. Discover your personality – whether you are the quiet and shy type or you are talking and outgoing. Find out the subjects you are interested in and pass easily and those you need to work hard in order to pass. Ask your parents/teachers/elder ones what it means to be male/female; how to take care of yourself and how to conduct yourself. You may also need to read books by godly authors.
3. Education/Self-Development: this is very important. Formal education is acquired in the classroom in schools while informal education is acquired elsewhere by yourself from your experience, from your parents/elders etc. You need to seek both. Education is a sign that you are growing, it gives you an edge over others and helps you fit into and function properly in the society. When you are young that is the time to read your books and study hard to acquire educational qualifications. It is not the time to be lazy, roaming about, attending parties/picnics, watching movies/football, drinking/smoking etc at the expense of your studies and other more important life issues. It is time to read and study about self development/improvement, how to overcome your inherent weaknesses and deficiencies, how to dress better, cultivating good manners, how to cook, wash your clothes and iron them, farm, drive, keep a house neat and tidy etc. It is the time to read and memorize the Bible, learn to pray and cultivate other godly habits. It is the time to ask questions and learn from elders.
4. Purposeful/Profitable Friendships: Good friends are assets, you will need them always. They can be of great help in your times of need both now and in the future and encourage you to success. Seek to establish friendships with both your sex and the opposite sex. But such friendships must be purposeful and profitable. Since your friends will in the end determine your character, you must ensure that they are godly and at least share your values and have ambition to become something reasonable in the future. It is good to share the friendship and company of the opposite sex; this will help you to learn about them and how to relate with them. But you must guard against becoming excessively attached to only one person. You may not be able to resist the temptation to have sex and this will affect your relationship with God and your future adversely. Avoid the temptation to waste your time hanging around with boyfriends/girlfriends and sleeping with them because you may regret the consequences all your life. Such consequences include pregnancy, abortion, dropping out of school, emotional troubles, early unwanted marriages etc. it is advisable to keep just a normal and harmless contact with the opposite sex. When you have acquired the necessary educational qualification, personal development, emotional maturity and financial stability then you will be ready to get married. Choose your friends, determine beforehand the purpose of the friendship, ensure it is profitable to you and the person, grow together with them and keep the contact as you grow.
5. Godly Role Models: you need people who you may look up to, learn from and whose lives you may imitate. They should be people you are comfortable with, with whom you can share your challenges, mistakes, weaknesses and failures. They should also be willing and able to help you. Your parents/guardians are your first role models. Listen to them and learn from them. Don’t be independent and don’t claim self-sufficiency. No matter what you want to become, some people have become it and you should find some around you. They will not be perfect though. God arranges role models for some naturally, others may need to make efforts to choose or determine who becomes their model. Whatever your case, ensure your model is godly, shares your values and aspirations and interests and is already progressing in them.
Conclusion: every young person is normally naive – not knowing much yet full of energy and adventurous. Consequently, they are prone to serious mistakes. However he who walks with the wise shall be wise. If you take counsel now you will be glad you did. God bless you.

yakmog@yahoo.co.uk
08036331025

must we criticise everything?

incisive

Tunde Bakare always engaging!

i see. no be pay be your problem. na community service you wan do shey? even if they no pay you no problem.

please house how much does INEC pay. who knows?

please where do i find a good dental hospital in abuja i need to check my teeth

please anyone that knows should advice me on what to expect in NNPC interview

those that participated in the recent recruitment exercise of the nigeria immigration service should check out today's daily trust for the list of succesful candidates scheduled for interviews in the different geopolitical zones. cheers

some of us have finished the training we have even started work. dont worry you will be called we were told there will be 2nd and 3rd batches. so cheer up.

anything since the interview last week?

its true oh. i was invited for today

have they called anyone and where did u write urs?

In pursuit of insanity. how come send ur CV to such person.

How was the test Nairalanders?

be warned and save your soul. Goodman you better look for job instead of trying to cheat vulnerable job seekers. may God forgive you.

eya ekpele oh to all of you who have pains from the 3km race. nigeria na wao.

So sad. The same thing happened in Yola, the Adamawa state capital. By the time they got to the hospital he was dead. In Jalingo, Taraba state where i took the test, one person collapsed and for close to 15 minutes he was being fanned, there was no ambulance not to talk of oxygen, the boy was later rushed to the hospital only God knows if he survived.

except for the antonyms that i used intelligient guess, i think it was OK. best of luck

i hear say na 13 sef who tell you 200? hmmmm

i have said this before

so is th e thing in the state capitals or by zones. that is the most important question

he has earned some confidence and inspired some hope as far as the rule of law is concerned not being dictatorial as Obasanjo but as far as the daily life of the common man is concerned he has not done anything at all at all at all. Kai!

The devil is a liar. My own na 511KB. How we go do am.

Nigeria is already a bombed nation.

na wao death is inevtitable