₦airaland Forum

nuelsam:
it's obvious you not ready to learn with all this red flags...no worry, it'll soon Dawn on you that you are gonna be used the second,the third and the Fourth time.

I understand your concern brother, but some situations just demand giving chances. I'm only just giving this relationship a chance to thrive and flourish. and at this stage of my life, I think I should be able to decide when to draw the line.

it was a shocking coincidence that I receive a WhatsApp message from the lady that same day that my post made fp. I was elated as well as surprised but also glad that she sent the message even tho it was just "hey".
though I didn't reply her that same day, I waited till the next day before I continued chatting with her and I told her that I already thought it was goodbye. she also told me she didn't contact me because she thought I was going to be busy. so since then we've been chatting.

on the relationship part, she reminded me that she just broke up with her ex about a month earlier so I should give her a bit of time before she can be ready to go into any relationship. I initially didn't want to buy the idea, but I thought it was reasonable to give her some time to sort herself though I made it clear to her that I won't be satisfied with being just friends with her. it's either we're in a proper relationship or just neighbors.
she told me she likes me too and she'll appreciate if I stay around with her and give her some time to get acquainted with things though she's not forcing me. but she needed some time.

MummyD2020:
Then allow her heal first before throwing ur proposal na. If she agrees now. U will say she is too fast or start thinking the way some guys think. Now shes in the process of recovery, u dey rush her, to me. my opinion oh.

it turns out that this user was correct all along. and again, not contacting her seems to have given some positive boost to the relationship and I think I'm liking it.

not that I wouldn't make the right decision if I didn't make the initial post on nairaland, but writing it out made me see what I was feeling in my mind, what was the right thing to do also, and no matter how perfect my final decision may later be, the advice I got from each and everyone of you who contributed to the post made it more sensible and solution oriented. thanks everyone.. Mr Yusuf, Mcsquishi, and all of you... I can't remember all the names.

have a productive week ahead.

DigitB:
Okay.

Here are the titles of some of the books I recently downloaded:

The Rational Male.

The Manipulated Man.

The Predatory Female.

The Feminist Lie-it was never about equality.

The Book of Pool


You can download some of them from www.pdfdrive.net or .com.

Thanks brother.... I'll download the rest. I've finished the rational male and manipulated man.

lookingfly:
come learn from us.....we de bon gals for 5 month and if she finally call after that period, we no go still pick.

You get mind ooo

ihimiray:
brother I will advice you to play ur game well...u know the usual thing with Nigerian girls.. Dey don't wanna look too cheap.. Do the calling but always be in control...know when to call and not look to weak... With time she will get use to u... And na u self go tire... But if she doesn't change just do the moon walk...

alright boss

DigitB:
You're welcome.

You should consider reading some of the "redpill" topics on the internet. There's a lot to learn...

It will help you understand how to relate with women.

I can suggest some materials for you if you'd like...

I don't mind at all boss. actually, I'm an avid follower of the red pill community.... you can just link the materials to me on this account, I'll access it from my main account

Ritztravels:
Brother, I will tell you from my experience it depends on the culture or the environment you find yourselves. I personally have dated white, black and Asian girls and each time I have to be aware as to how their culture and societal norms might influence simple things as texting after a date. For example after a date with Asians or whites, I don't have to worry about texting after the date as I know if she truly fancies me she is texting me the next morning or in many cases before I even get to my room. But you see this our Nigerian girls, I don't know if it's the bros forming simps to get under their pants that has made them feel like they don't need to put much efforts into dating and social interactions. If I picked you up from your home, paid for the dates, even made an effort to start conversations and you still feel too big to text "thanks for the dinner" or even to ask if I got home safe, I'm cutting you lose, you are for the street.
My advice is to not make yourself the fool by calling and yelling at her (as some have suggested) that "hard guy persona" is just a mask most guys wear to cover up their deep insecurities, don't be that guy. You had a date, it isn't what you hope it will be, simply move on.

thanks brother..... seems our hearts beat with same frequency.... giving up too soon is the only thing that is bothering me

SweetCunt97:
Ok. Still folllw her gently. Let her like you. Though she may not be over her last relationship

okay ma'am... May God guide me to the right path

SweetCunt97:
You can post a very beautiful girl's picture with a caption and see her reaction

done that twice.... reaction?? no Bleep seems to be given

Handsnigga:
I have met many girls like that myself.

Don't call her abeg, remove her from mind and focus on getting another one. She is definitely not into you. It's obvious. Forget those people saying it takes time to relate with someone new. That's bullshit.

You will only become a SIMP and a weakling if you continue.

The reason is that she has other guys chasing and satisfying her with attention. Did you ask her if she is single? Or did you talk about her relationship with other guys?
From her response, you will know how desperate or indifferent about starting a new relationship with you. She may even tell you she is dating another guy if she doesn't care about you really.

The mentality we guys need to have is that most of these girls are not loyal and are total waste of time and resources.

Once you see signs like this one you're seeing, run away and move on to the next. You will surely meet someone better one day.

I don't waste time with girls again, I move on shapaly once they start misbehaving.

thanks boss. we move!

SweetCunt97:
The feeling aint mutual. She probably has a bf

she told me she broke up a month ago and she's single for now. reason? I didn't bother asking

LegalRambles:
My type of guy

But call her bro

Let your manly pride not come in the way.

You should have called her the following day.

It's the right of the girl to be chased not for the girl to chase.

As for the boring part, she might just want to know you.

that's true to some extent... but there's a thin line between caring and simping. regardless of the outcome, I'll see the perfect thing to do before the end of the day. thanks for the advice boss.. enjoy your weekend

optimusprime2:
Guy leave her alone... if she isn't your cup of coffee then move on. Don't be that complacent in real life issues.

Very soon you'd complain here again if you force it... perhaps she is not single.

that's correct... you know it'll be even more heartbreaking when I move on and I later find out that I gave up too soon. that's why I needed other people's point of view on it

jaxxy:
U think she’s not thinking of u? Lmao she is a smart gal and is playing a game. Contact her at ur own peril


Ok I’m joking bt don’t contact her she knows what she’s doing just watch. She doing it because she knows she can predict u. U are predictable

That’s why ure here crying to us. Better be a man. She’s preparing ur bills already.

Also it is rude that sm1 takes u on a date, spends on u and u can’t reach out to them afterwards. Even my hard to get and difficult Ex wasn’t that stupid. That’s a - for her attitude bt I know she likes u and is playing minds games with u. It’s trashy tho.

it's heart wrenching brother... especially when she's mostly online and she views my WhatsApp status whenever I make a post

slyfoxxjoe:
She’s either just a naturally quiet/boring person or she is a lively person who’s not interested in you.

My experience is that girls who are naturally lively will be very chatty with guys they like. Sometimes na you go even beg to drop phone.

So find out what kind of person she is from others that know her and how she interacts with other guys apart from you. That should tell you a lot.

you have a valid point bro. actually, she did tell me she doesn't really chat with people like that except for her friends. she told me she may be gentle and meek to other people but definitely talk slot in the midst of her close pal and she also spends most of her time indoors too.

femi4:
How can you have a phone and you won't have at least one or two pictures of yours in the gallery

i don't like taking pictures, the last one I took was since 2019 or thereabouts...

frozen70:
Some people are boring while some are lively
She may not be boring but at the same time not an extrovert as you are
If you think you can cope then the ball is in ur court

I get your point.... I'll see what can come out of this

Benega9:
See my Nigga,no go think To Much Because Of A Girl,as She Keeps Quiet,maybe She Wanna know The Kind of Guy You Be...what I Have To Say Is For You To Keep quiet Too..like One Week Stuff You Call Her...tell Her why Is She Doing Like This..i Mean Scare her,put Charges On Her.then wait For Her Replies

mad oooh... I'll see what I can do boss. thanks for the OT

lolipopandy:
She clearly doesn't see you the way you see her,get someone who loves you just as much as you'd love her.

I get your point. thanks for the advice

DigitB:
She's not into you.
Leave her alone.

If you invest more of your feelings in her you'll eventually end up simping.
It has happened to me and I learnt the hard way.

thanks brother.... I'm just seeing my post on fp...

Yusufisraelj:
I equally agree with you. Well to exhaust your options is to wait until she reaches out and when she does you seek to know why she's withdrawn and create room where she can be straight with you, if she doesn't do that within a define period, just let her be. It's not easy my brother. God will see us through, me self day single and searching

thanks boss. but I find it shocking that you're single. do you have a celibacy streak or you have not seen the "one"

Dreyton36:
Fix another date
And this time it should be at your place (house)
Spread 5000 naira in pieces on different sides of your bed
Money turns them on , she'll think you're very rich to have money at the corners of your room
Any move you make she'll succumb

Until you fvck a naija babe they'll never call back even when they like you naturally
Fvck that babe my son and live long
And when you're done fulfilling your mission she'll be the one disturbing you with calls then you should gnite like starboy

Lights up my kpoli in peace

lol, thanks for the heads up..... I'm learning tho

Yusufisraelj:
@Nodeydopass

You are not being unreasonable brother, don't contact her until she reaches out, it seems to me two things;

1. She's not so much into you - if this the case let her be and move on, but if you must insist ensure you can keep up with the consequences. Do with do with you.

2. You seem not to know what makes her open up - seek her areas of interest and discuss that, I've dated extreme introverts, na Dem day talk pass I swear down, them go bore with gist pass extroverts.

if 1 is the case, I don't have power over that, but 2, she barely chat on WhatsApp... that's why I decided to take her out on the said date. but after that date I expected things to become lighter and the communication gap should reduce. I even told her specifically what I wanted without mincing words that I don't want want things to just go stale. it's well.

I just don't want to later regret giving up too easily

KyrianOkeke:
There's really no reason to play hard here.

The truth is that you like her. So if your heart is leading you to call her, then go ahead & make the call.

It won't kill you.

You can also let her know that with the first date you guys had, you expect her to start treating you like a friend & reach out sometimes... atleast know what she will say.

Most ladies are used to guys chasing them. It takes time for them to get comfortable with you, but when they eventually do, you'll be glad you chased.

The main thing is you knowing for how long you're meant to chase - you're not meant to chase forever.

Don't waste your time trying to think & understand the reason for her actions. Its fruitless... make the call, have whatever conversation you need to have with her. By all means satisfy your heart pls.

hmmmm.... I'll think about this, but thanks

Yusufisraelj:
@Nodeydopass

You are not being unreasonable brother, don't contact her until she reaches out, it seems to me two things;

1. She's not so much into you - if this the case let her be and move on, but if you must insist ensure you can keep up with the consequences. Do with do with you.

2. You seem not to know what makes her open up - seek her areas of interest and discuss that, I've dated extreme introverts, na Dem day talk pass I swear down, them go bore with gist pass extroverts.

thanks Mr Yusuf, I always enjoy your post, I hope one day you'll shed more light on the text on your signature

McSquishi:
Hmmm. She will probably text you in a week or two more asking when the swimming will take place or maybe she’s genuinely not interested at all but was just going along for the ride.

I think you you knowing the situation best if you feel you’ll look desperate by reaching out again then don’t. But texting “hey, just checking on you” if you’re thinking about her to this extent, that is not a big deal. And if she hardly replies like the old times then at that point you can guess she’s not feeling you...

dating is complicated! Ugh!

Good luck

McSquishi:
Hmmm. She will probably text you in a week or two more asking when the swimming will take place or maybe she’s genuinely not interested at all but was just going along for the ride.

I think you you knowing the situation best if you feel you’ll look desperate by reaching out again then don’t. But texting “hey, just checking on you” if you’re thinking about her to this extent, that is not a big deal. And if she hardly replies like the old times then at that point you can guess she’s not feeling you...

dating is complicated! Ugh!

Good luck

McSquishi:
Hmmm. She will probably text you in a week or two more asking when the swimming will take place or maybe she’s genuinely not interested at all but was just going along for the ride.

I think you you knowing the situation best if you feel you’ll look desperate by reaching out again then don’t. But texting “hey, just checking on you” if you’re thinking about her to this extent, that is not a big deal. And if she hardly replies like the old times then at that point you can guess she’s not feeling you...

dating is complicated! Ugh!

Good luck

I secretly hope so @ bolded. thanks once again. I wish things could just be easy like Hollywood

falcon01:
Bro she is way Below your standards let her go and stop thinking of her!.

hmmm

McSquishi:
Usually a guy will text or call and say he had a great time and wants to hang out again soon, something like that. So maybe she can be nervous that you didn’t like something about her and that’s why you didn’t give any feedback.

It could also be that she’s silent because she is used to being pursued and is not used to a shared effort arrangement. You could just tell her that you’d like her to initiate sometimes rather than just staring at her “online” status feeling lonely.

If you truly find her boring and/or selfish then you might have to put your physical attraction aside and let this one go.

I understand you dear. thanks for your input. it was my bad that I didn't call her the second day but I already made it open ended the first day when I told her that if a second date is going to happen, we'd definitely go swimming and she replied saying she doesn't know whether she could swim or not.
I've exhausted every form of manly thing I can do to get her, that's why I think doing anything again would make me seem desperate

MufasaLion:
Good!.
Stay safe man.

thanks boss

HopeVictor:
Girls like the hard guys.. call her and tell her you were expecting a call or chat from her.. if she isn't interested in the relationship she should tell you..so you can stop wasting your time and move on.

alright brother, I appreciate your opinion

MufasaLion:
Leave her alone. I don't understand how you guys find your street ladies attractive.

okay

HopeVictor:
Call her and tell her your mind

I don't get how this would help, can you elaborate more