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 Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 1:50pm On Dec 09, 2012 |
There's too much of sexuality in this contest now. Not good. Main culprits fukcwitme and kandiikane. |
| Literature › Patch Of Black by Oahray(op): 2:31am On Dec 09, 2012*. Modified: 5:59pm On Mar 25, 2015 |
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. On no account must this story be copied, or reproduced in any form without prior notice of author. ********************************* No, it was not a typical Saturday afternoon. That Saturday, I was not outside playing football with Ugo and Osaze and the rest of my mates. I could hear their shouts as they played football near the street. I wish I joined them when they came over to call me. Every Saturday and any evening we got the chance to, we played football on the bare plot of land opposite our house. Like every Saturday I quickly put on my slippers when they came, and made to leave with them. I wish I did. I wish that moment didnt come when my 2year old sister Ehi screamed: "UP NEPAAAAA!" It was the exclamation people made whenever the National Electric Power Authority (NEPA) as it was more popularly called, decided to favour their customers with power supply. It was one of the many things Ehi never missed. I instinctively looked up to confirm. Our ancient fan had slowly started to rotate, creaking loudly as if trying to protest the disturbance. That was all it took to abandon all thoughts of playing like Messi. I was going to be Messi. I knew it. My mates told me all the time. But not yet. Messi could wait. I told them no. I was going to watch television instead. I wish I didnt. Two hours later, it was farther from a typical saturday than it could ever be. Our palour was well lit, thanks to the brilliant streaks of sunlight that filtered through the threadbare curtains. Curtains... That was what we called the wrappers mama had expertly hung across every window in our house. Old, but neat. Mama washed them every fortnight. My gaze settled on the tv again and a chill ran down my spine. Lumps of fear materialized in my throat, and tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to swallow. What would I tell Papa? That television was barely a month old. I had not been able to lift it back unto its wooden stand. Beside it lay broken pieces of Mama's small china flower vase. It was a gift from a relative. That was all I knew. Not that I ever cared to ask. Mama loved it and wiped it clean everyday before placing it back on the top of the television far from the destructive reach of Ehi. My thoughts wandered back to the television... Some weeks ago, it was a proud papa who walked into the house clutching onto the new television. It was coloured. An improvement. We had watched our old faithful black-and-white television for years. It was time for a change. That evening we sat together in the sitting room, watching our new television. Smiles on our faces, laughing at the slightest hint of humour. Now it sat on the floor with a huge crack on its screen. Mama had travelled to Onitsha market and wouldnt be back until dusk. But it wasnt mama I feared. Papa would be back soon. He usually returned home some minutes past 4pm on saturdays. I glanced at the wall clock. Ugo had taught me to read the time. It read 3:30pm. Less than one hour. Deep down I knew I was finished. As firstborn, I usually got the lion's share of punishments. Across the street, my friends played football and shouted excitedly. Someone else was Messi. It mattered little to me. A few meters away, Ehi slept on the carpet floor, carefree. I wished I could be like her. On the sofa beside her sat my twin brothers, Odion and Akhere, calmer than I had ever known them. Like me, they stared into the distance. * * * * * * * * * * |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 12:21am On Dec 09, 2012 |
I case anyone missed it... sexkillz: [color=#000030]I'll like this thread to go back to its intended course, and I'll use force if need be. 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 12:18am On Dec 09, 2012 |
*peeping* shey dem don run as dem spoil thread finish? *reading sexkillz' albino monkey confession over and over*  |
| Sports › Re: Do You Think Messi Is Better Than Ronaldinho? by Oahray: 12:03am On Dec 09, 2012 |
For me... Skills: Ronaldinho (Only Okocha comes close) Passes: Messi (these days, I wonder if he is better than Xavi and pirlo) Teamwork: Messi (Dinho was a one-man player most of the time) Goals: Messi (undisputed) Assists: Messi (for those saying Messi is a striker that's why he scores more goals, how come he assists better than most midfielders and more than Dinho had even when Dinho had Eto'o, one of the best finishers of the game?) Consistency: Messi (Ronaldinho didnt last) Spotkicks: Ronaldinho (messi doesnt come close) Fear factor: Messi (yes, more defenders mark messi in every game than dinho was) Versatility: Ronaldinho (good with both feet) Ronaldinho was a much more entertaining player... Messi is more efficient. The best player is the the most efficient... Else Okocha ought to have been world best at least once. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 11:31pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
I yaf leave una thread for una o. Thank God I no first dey contest. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 11:24pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
sexkillz: [color=#000030]I'll like this thread to go back to its intended course, and I'll use force if need be.Geeee! I respect this guy jor. You too much! |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 11:23pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
[quote author=Ileke-IdI]I be omo Ekiti, we're born to be stubborn  Make he slap me, I'll just send 2legit to finish him off  [/quote]*discombobulated* Ehn... Auntie wait first o. Wetin my name dey do for your quote as the author of anoda person post? |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 11:19pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
Idowuogbo: Una dey do hiring?No o... E no dey good for second-hand. E no cost like that. Help your friends and neighbours. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 11:18pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
*ringing bell* sense of humour here... Be your brother's keeper. If you are coogar's friend, now is the time to show it. Instead of buying brazillian hair or spending ur money on booze, help yourself or a friend today! |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 11:14pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
*slots a coin into idea machine* perfect! *eyeing thread pirates* Buy your healthy sense of humour here... I dnt have a stand yet sha. If you have a dry sense of humour or do not have at all, your blessing has just landed... |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 11:04pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
*staring at sabotaged thread and weeping* there goes my 6packs business... |
| Romance › Re: Meet The Romance Section Nairalanders (what You Think About Others) by Oahray: 10:57pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
Hehehe... This thread rocks! You guys keep it coming jor. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:38pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ATMC: lol...you may be in for a huge surprise at d end...anyways package double 6packs and...i hope you have courier services?em... Yes. I make personal deliveries to female clients, who might require other services. *innocent smile* |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:28pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ATMC: can i bum some off for sexkillzMadam, I am a businessman, not a miracle worker. Just keep praying for him. With God, all things are possible. You can still buy 6packs for your other friends sha. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:24pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
y me: More pics biko or we don't have fine men on NL ni?We do jare. But their wives and gfs dey monitor them offline. You know how women are na. Its just the rest of us remaining. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:21pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ATMC: sheath your lips, made a comment from simple observation of d norm...you must comment on itok ma'am. Buy quality 6packs for your candidate and friends. Its quality... Its affordable... Its every gal's desire. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:19pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ItsModella: four packs ke? no na...you no dey see as people dey bring 6+ packs...ok o... Na professional advice I b give o. But your satisfaction tops our wish list. 6packs and chest coming up. It woud be ready several hours to the contest. *gives her business card* Pls do come back when you need more. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:13pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
Idowuogbo: My dad on NL?hahahaha... Mesef confuse o. I no sure say e go fit wear six packs for that belle o. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:12pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
jackbauersballs: Same ting I said to his godship o...You guys are too kill-joy jor. Contest starts monday. What is wrong with a lil fun eh? |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:07pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ItsModella: GBAM!! your head dey dere.Ok... Em... Buy if Lalaosky use 6 or eight packs, people go suspect. *looks at the profile* na four packs go fit am... Four packs and two folds. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:02pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
Kai... Business no dey move o. *thinking up other ideas* |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 10:00pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
For those who didnt see it... Florena: Is it only six packs we re votin 4? Any way since that is ur priority, get ur six packs @ affordable price, online shopping also available, just order and get it @ ur doorstep |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:57pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
CFCfan: Vote for me:Bros... U make sense... But if you buy 6packs, you no go need hide body inside suit when heat dey. Make I bring am? *patronizing smile* |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:53pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ItsModella:Auntie... Lalaosky na my man, so I go run discount for am. Buy two packs and get one free. No be only packs e need o. E need chest too... We dey sell cheap chest for here o. Your satisfaction is of utmost concern to us. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:48pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
Florena: i agree wit u joo, i can be ur assistant marketing managerAh... Florena mi. How can I refuse? We go hammer for this contest o. |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:45pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ItsModella: Make I discuss am with my client first, I go call you later...Ok... *ringing bell* Buy your sexy packs here. Easy to wear, no one would notice. Whether you be ajebutter or kpako, we get wetin you need. You wey dey shout team face, you wey wear fine shoe but hide your belle inside jacket. God don bless una 2day... |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:38pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
ItsModella: ROTFLMAOOO!!!! you dey sell for discount? e be like say my client go need am...If you buy in bulk, you go get discount. Buy many, for each round. Some get tattoo sef, to give him that badboy look. You know hw much ladies love bad boys. 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:36pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
[quote author=Ileke-IdI]Lades let me tell you something about moonraker. . . . dude has the programing skills to unlock your every secret. Who doesnt like sexy nerd who knows how to dress, is very romantic, talks dirty and nasty enough to drop your booty shorts off? (ayam just reading his resumee) Dude has a nice sense of humor, I'm telling you. He's genuinely sincere about helping you and making sure you're well-pleased/[/quote]He still needs packs madam... I sell packs. What is his size? Come select e colour. He should buy less than 6 or the voters would suspect. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:33pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
*setting up packs stand* Buy your 6packs here! For every skin colour. If you cannot afford quality 6packs, we have one that fits you. *ringing bell* 5packs and below sef dey... No lose this contest because you no get packs ooooo. 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland - Campaign Thread by Oahray: 9:25pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
Shey I fit make noise for this thread? |
| Romance › Re: Mr Nairaland Dec 2012. *nominations* by Oahray: 8:58pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
Sweetlemon: Advice to prospestive contestants, if sexkills, Seun or any of the big wigs are competiting, DO NOT BOTHER GIVING MORE THAN ONE PICTURE OF YOUR SIX PACKhahahahaha.... *falls off chair* E get why I bliv you. |
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