₦airaland Forum

This NFL thing is over blown to me. No, you shouldnt spank your child till there are marks on them. And no, you dont HAVE to spank your children at all. some children's temperaments do just fine with other punishments. But I dont think its harmful to spank if you make sure you are not angry while spanking them and definitely dont leave marks on them.
Perhaps this is because i was a spanked child. And yes, i think i grew up all right. Not because i was spanked but because i was sure my parents cared for me.
I just feel that a lot of this discussion is made by people who don't believe in punishing children at all, whether it is by withdrawing money or other benefits or by spanking. They just dont like seeing children distraught. Like criticizing a father for shaming his daughter by making her wear girly pink clothes as punishment for having a boyfriend at 10 years of age. In my family, that stuff will get you spanked, and then having no rights until you are 15 and then publicly shamed by wearing pink clothes.

i learned how to change tires and fix cars from my mum. Yes, my mum! I learned unwavering honesty from my dad. Rare to met a civil servant who doesnt accept bribes nor does he give them

i wonder if it is because despite several people donating blood, most of it is useless. I know that when my sister was a med student in UI, all medical, dentistry and nursing students were required to donate blood. Despite such a large population (her class alone was about 600), she said that when they test blood, they have to throw away ones with STDs---HIV, gonorhea, syphillis and the like. Also, some people have bad diets so the oxygen carrying factor is low. some blood doesnt clot well or clots too much. so many issues. So you may be surprised that they may keep only 30-60% of their blood. Plus, i'm sure with NEPA issues, they will lose a lot if light goes out for hours.

But selling in Lagos is too bad. I prefer what UCH in Ibadan does (or at least used to do). My pastor's mother was going for an invasive surgery and they asked my pastor to find 4 people to donate blood so that if she needs blood, they will restock easily. That was the first time I gave blood and out of 4 of us, one was rejected eventually because he had low iron/oxygen count. At least, the blood is free. But im sure the demand for blood in Ibadan is not as high as in Lagos so they can afford such policies.

funny enough, i like the first most. it stands out and people will notice it. the third is a stealth so no one will even see it. I think white shines against brown skin but black just blends and disappears.

na wa o! is your friend even married? if she has not registered her marriage, she is not married o! i think your friend has bigger problems than NYSC. se na only traditional she do? your friend is looking for trouble.

since no guy is replying, I will reply my experience. I have marks on my butt and a bit of my thigh. I now have some on my belly cause of my pregnancy. My husband didn't even notice the new ones on my belly while I have been lamenting the failure of every cocoa butter cream I used religiously night and day . He has on his back that he got when his chest widened in puberty. Truth is...guys are not as critical about our bodies as we are. I once confessed to my husband that I didn't like him seeing me naked because I was conscious of stretch marks. He looks surprised and asked if I had stretch marks! I thought he was lying. He said between staring at my chest and behind, thinking about the several ways in which he could grab me and "hit" it, he didn't have time to notice stretch marks.

in my interaction with guys, that has been the consensus. There has been only one guy I met who cared about stretch marks and he was so superficial and mean that even his mom told me that she pitys the poor girl that would marry her son. Needless to say, he is still single.

one thing is.....don't wash her hair everyday. Same for you as well. Our hair is very dry and can't stand to be washed more frequently than every 5 days or so. But make sure you wash it every week. After washing, use a leave in that says it moisturizes hair NOT that it strengthens hair. Strong hair is also hard hair if you do it too much. Good moisture products can be coconut oil, some olive oil products, Shea butter.

primitive is using 2 stones to start fires. come on...no insults here. its a way of giving gifts or rather showering someone with gifts in a very public and grand way. of course its a big man that loves to do that because he is big enough to shower people with gifts.

yes, it is the same thing as tipping at a strip joint the difference is..guys shower gifts on those ladies in the hopes they take more off. the showering is not bad or good. just like kissing...some people kiss to make the other feel good, some people kiss in the selfish hopes someone will sleep with them. the same thing, 2 different motives.

Im not sure why we need to respect money. what is money? our master? if we want to keep money clean, we would stop stuffing it in our bras and back pockets and neatly fold them into wallets. but i dont see people doing that so money will continue to be dirty. oh and money will be dirty because we dont burn the old money at CBN when making new money, someone just carts off the old one and tells his oga that it has been burned.

last time i went to a spraying event, not one person stepped on money and they picked it up very quickly and lovingly folded it their stash. not like at bodija market where my 50N change stayed on top of fish blood while the lady was cutting up my catfish

abroad, i think the problem is refusal to marry a non african. in america, the african population is less than 5%. the chances of getting married to ANYONE is about 85%. so if you only choose to marry an african, your chances of getting married are 4%. basic probability calculation. the chances of two things happening together

unfortunately, legalizing abortion does not reduce the risks. read it up. folks are afraid of quacks. they forget that abortion ini itself is a risky procedure...whether done by a good doctor or a quack

i think it depends on why you dont want children. some lifestyles are incompatible with children. some people dont want to be inconvenienced. a lot of times it is because of selfishness because some people dont want to have their lives cramped. i did not want to have kids but after closer observation i discovered it was a hidden fear that i had when growing up that people were happily married until the kids came along, the wife's attention was diverted and the husband starts philandering. once i dealt with that, i was okay with the idea of kids. i just had my first. they are beautiful things but you have to be ready and absolutely SURE you want one before going down that road

here is the answer to the question. this video clip is when some men were strapped to a machine that let them have contractions like in labor. check it out

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&sqi=2&ved=0CDIQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGw5ayibQ-E0&ei=irMTUs6LF8OdyQHU94GoDQ&usg=AFQjCNGJPG4M4sgWvW4gtZj7lz8B5dHUBg&sig2=lbRliJBLrEM8i7R667yX2Q&bvm=bv.50952593,d.aWc

Maturity is based on experience. Of course, the older you are, the more experience you should have had. unfortunately, some older people do not let experiences shape them for the better. so yes, you end up with a 25 year old who had responsibility on their shoulders being more mature than a 35 years who may be a last born and used to things being done for them so were never exposed to experiences.

hahaha. actually for real...the bosom belongs to the woman...not her baby and definitely not her husband. Please people!! when did women become property that people contest over?? whoever she chooses to give her bosom to is her decision...not the decision of a bride price or anything. its shit like that that makes the yoruba not accept bride price before you say that the woman is the property of her husband because he paid for her. what nonsense!

i think we want whatever we can get away with. same as men. if men could run their mouth without consequences, men would. havent you noticed that the loudest men are often the biggest? equality should not mean being treated exactly the same, it means they should have the same rights. it is a weak man that resolves to physical violence when being abused. that is why men fight less as they grow older, they become wiser mentally and are smart enough to find other ways to deal with stupid people.

50 years ago, children were alwyas given to the fathers in a custody battle because the men could financially support the children better. it is because of how poorly men have fared in childcare that the courts now give custody to women

i agree there are situations where women put themselves in situations to get hit. one of them is pointing a gun at you. or kicking the shit out of you. yelling at you is NOT a situation to ask to get hit. more power gives more responsibility. men are physically stronger than women therefore they have to be more responsible with it. trained boxers go to jail if they fight with people because their fist are considered weapons and they need to be more responsible than a regular man.

long and short...if you gave women dominion over men, we sure as hell would take it. just as if men were given dominion over women, they would take it. that is why God was smart enough to give NO ONE dominion over anyone. He made men leaders and heads but did not give dominion. No matter who your boss is at work, there are somethings he can not do (unless you let him). same with husbands, there are somethings that are not within his rights. and by the way, he is only the head of HIS household...not head of every random woman he sees on the street

okay...as a biologist let me start by saying we NEVER ate organic food in Nigeria...that stuff is a fallacy. Organic food is food that was grown with natural plants and natural fertilizers. Since my father was young, farmers have been using NPK (nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium) fertilizers so that is NOT organic. There is NO such thing as fake catfish. What you have been getting is a NEW breed of catfish that is not native to nigeria and grows better in captivity (ie tanks).

Only if you have been eating off a farm that spreads cow poop as fertilizer have u eaten organic food. As far genetically modified foods, well, if you are eating any plant food from america, accept that it is modified.

Generally what we ae doing is picking more unhealthy foods to eat because it sweeter and more convenient to cook. being female, i really cant blame anyone. who wants to be stuck in the kitchen for 2-3 hours everyday? i gave my husband the option of cooking something healthy when he complained about food. he immediately said he wasnt hungry. everyone wants healthy food as long as they are not the ones cooking it

Here is what my family does. we take the 10 foods we eat the most and try and make sure it is the freshest and/or most organic we can afford. so we make stew, efo fresh. i try to buy fresh meat and chicken that is organic. so far, i havent found organic rice. we eat a lot of spag but i have to look into making it myself.

Buy frozen food instead of canned food because there is less processing in frozen than canned. If you eat processed food, look at the ingredient list. If there is more than 5, dont buy it. that is why i buy butter rather margarine, i recognize all the ingredients on it. i buy whole milk instead of skim...less rubbish put inside. dont use maggi or knorr...the msg causes you to eat a lot more than you should...read up on monosodium glutamate. plus a lot of people are allergic to it especially men. if you buy fruits, be careful about things that dont have peel-able skin like apples because pesticides stay on the skin you eat.

it quite unfortunate that Nigeria actually has a law prohibiting child it is rarely ever enforced. the reason why is lack of empathy. I have talked to several men who have very light views on sex and therefore think the consequences are as light for women as well. they say they were having sex at 14 and it was not a problem for them. they even have light views about rape and whether a woman "deserved" it or not. i have heard men say that if they dont want to be married, why dont they protect themselves and run away or complain. it saddens me to think that men think like this so will never protect their wives or daughters

But also, the blame must also be placed on women as well. we must do what is best for our daughters as well. where are their mothers? the mothers might put up a complaint but we know what kind of demonstration must be done to make sure our husbands listen. what if women decided to pack up and leave with all their children secretly? that messages says that we would rather face hunger, death and shame than allow our children be married early. what if girls decided that that they would rather kill themselves than marry (yes, some women did it. at first, they used to post guards to stop girls from suicide. then they decided to just stop the practice all together)

Government will never put into law something that men have not yet already been practicing in their own homes. its up to individual men and women to stop the curse of underage marriage, not government. why should government protect your own child? are you dead? why cant you? one of the reasons im glad im from the south where it doesnt happen as often. my dad protected me. its unfortunate some women were not as lucky

Divorce is getting higher not just with Nigerians abroad, its also nigerians at home as well. I think the reason is quite simple. Women now have options. Quite simple really.

50 years ago, when a man married a woman, whether abroad or in nigeria, if she left him for any reason, she was at risk because she had little to no form of supporting herself. if she had kids, she was royally screwed because there would be no support for them either.

50 years ago, if a man chose to leave his wife...well... other than his family disappointed in him and maybe alienating him for breaking his home, he has few consequences.

fastforward to now. women work, women are a bit more independent. so if she leaves her husband because she a ho, or because he's an asshole or just because they both quarreled and cant settle... she is okay. she can fend for her kids somewhat and now..courts are even more likely to give her custody of her kids than her husband

so now, women who stay married actually WANT to stay with the man rather than before where they had to grit their teeth and bear it because they have no alternative.

Dudes!!! as a new mom, i understand that you feel like a fish out of water. However, I cant help but notice that this narrative keeps on saying daddy daddy daddy. I'm not really trying to chide you for having feelings and needs that are not met... but please dont take it out on the people that love and need you most..your new baby and very very tired wife.

Tell me... how tired would you be if there was an organism sucking on your nutrients (about 1000 calories a day) every 3 hours? and i mean every 3 hours. I have a very independent baby so i feed him at 5am, 7 am, 10 am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm and 3 am. he is not fussy (i'm serious, several women have commented on how lucky i am). How angry would you be if this organism sucks so hard sometimes that you bleed? How frustrated would you be if you found out that this organism is a helpless child that needs you to exist. so you must offer your sore and bleeding nipples to him again in 3 hours?

How happy would you be if after this fantastic feeding schedule, your spouse asked to suck on this painful nipple? Lets assume that you stay at home all day so it seems you have a lot of free time? well, if you spend 4 hours feeding your child, another at least 4 hours changing it, checking to make sure its breathing (yes, babies sometimes die in their sleep), begging it to go to sleep so that you can sleep, well that a full time job. except that your full time job never ends. you see, when you get home, at least you can rest until the next morning. but as mom, the best I get is 4 hours uninterrupted (and as i mentioned, I do NOT have a fussy baby). How excited would you be about sex after having only 3- two hour sleep sessions every day for a month? And this is if you have family helping you (which i do). without that, cut sleep down by half.

I know its hard for dads because they feel like everyone has forgotten about them. But it is much harder for your spouse that you would ever know. How many times have you caught her crying in frustration? how many times has she left the house because she is tethered to a young one?

please be a little more sympathetic to your wife's ordeal..because thats what it really is.. an ordeal. help her more. be a little more patient. tell her she is beautiful. tell her you love her. play with your child. change his diapers and dance with him when he is crying, rather than immediately handing him over to your wife. this tells your wife that he is yours not only when he is behaving well and smiling, but also when he is irritable and uncomfortable.

May God give you the courage and the strength to give up more of yourself in service to your family. god blesd you

yeah, i saw that on the website but no dates or info. i have been calling the consulate (all 4 numbers) for the last 2 weeks around twice everyday. can you believe no one has answered the phone yet. the embassy at atlanta (the only embassy that answers their phones) said they know nothing about it. DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS

HELP