₦airaland Forum

Ibk25:
Good morning all. Has BLS released the visa appointment dates for January?

They opened dates for January on January 3rd and as of January 7th, 50% of dates were available. Usually, the dates are gone in 1 week except in summer May onwards where the dates are gone in the same day because travel is hot.
So for anyone looking, i suggest having a phone alarm everyday at 9am from the 2nd of the month to the 10th of the month to check for dates. Thats how I was able to remember and find the dates. My record of dates when I was looking for appointment is Apr 8th 2025, Dec 10th 2025 and Jan 3rd 2026. I hope this helps someone.

Ochiban:
I have been looking for the last 2 months for my mother. She is older so I don't want to rish her standing for hours in walk in queue. Has there been any dates released? I checked end of the month for October and Novemeber bu there is nothing. I wrote them so much they stopped replying sef

They opened December dates on Dec 10th which is a little unusual. Normally , its the last and/or first week of the month for dates. For people talking about visa application - they are very serious with their requirements, don't do quarter measure because they check too much. If you pick a hotel to stay for 20 days and hope they give you 3 month visa, na lie. they will give you EXACTLY that 20 days visa. if anything is out of order, there is a strong chance of rejection. I have a relative with 5 years British visa nd see shock when we thought the Spanish will be easy and they just gave him 35 day visa (33 days from the hotel reservation and 2 days to travel).

One of the reasons they are so strict is because illegal immgirants have a chance of status and a few benefits. So they don't want people abusing the system too much. The school avenue for visa is closing very quickly - so i think rejections will be high. Spain is becoming attractive even to Americans and Britions to japa to so they have become more strict in the last 2 years.

Sha, I'm looking for when they will open January dates. I can't chance Lagos during dutty december o.

I have been looking for the last 2 months for my mother. She is older so I don't want to rish her standing for hours in walk in queue. Has there been any dates released? I checked end of the month for October and Novemeber bu there is nothing. I wrote them so much they stopped replying sef

Bad boys are exciting- it is getting everything you want. the stability of a good boy and the excitement of a bad boy ( by the way boys do it too---Dont turn a ho into a house wife, I want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed)

To make matters worse, they now love making romance books and movies over these such topics.

Finally, its a co-dependent thing. You only feel worth when you suffer then create a work of art. Instead of valuing yourself as precious and demanding precious treatment, this feeds into insecurity that says the only way you're good enough is if he changes for you.

Please swipe left

Perhaps because you secretly want to abscond your responsibilities and want to be taken care of by a mother type

it is possible to quit- hard but possible. Most guys who quit do so because it becomes very difficult having relations with a regular woman- porn is so quick that you forget how to show patience with a real person. or they must have a very specific environment similar to porn to get you excited

Then quick come follows- after that, erectile dysfunction.

to men (and women) of normal character - you are only as faithful as your options

obviously something is paining you. you need deliverance

100% agree. the problem is this
1. Religious places are usually the only place to offer this and they are not trained well for it. Just because someone has been counseling for 5 years doesn't mean they are good at it. they really try their best but honestly their main job is preaching
2. Niggas lie a lot! both men and women may be in the state of forming so that they look like an attractive spouse. they wont tell the truth so that may thwart these things

Even despite this, it is essential to do. it is here that a busy lagos babe will find out that her husband to be intends for her to be a housewife. it is here that a guy will find out that his wife to be intends to born a football team and wants him to pay for everything single handedly

Recipe for co-dependency. In this day and age, still encouraging women to treat men like children

sounds like you are an introvert and she is an extrovert. The more you try to get her to be quiet, the more loud she will be. think about it- the more people try to encourage you to gist, the more tired and quiet you are probably becoming.

Its this stupid advice that causes problems in marriage. No man will change. You should marry him for what HE IS, not his potential. they say men hope women dont change but they do. women hope men change but they dont

This advice is encouraging co-dependency which we train our women to be in Nigeria. You are not worthy of love- you must do and become and serve and then MAYBE- JUST MAYBE you will be loved in return.

This is just rubbish

IdiAminDada:
What should I do when the thing thing that happened happened.

Hope you read that I contemplated divorce myself?

Thank God. The most sensible thing you have said today. Abeg hurry up and divorce her so that a good man can quickly find such an industrious and loyal woman. Please stop wasting her time and potential

I know this is several years past the last 0ost but I want to revive this of possible

My fast foods were

Breakfast - fruit smoothie (banana, pineapple and other fruits) plus 1 cup groundnut or cashews. I don't usually eat breakfast so I can get away with such small quantities

Lunch/dinner--brown spaghetti (whole wheat) with stew and mushrooms, moimoi with vegetable maggi, beans but instead of palmoil, I made a stew concoction like agonyi beans style and vegetable oil. Local rice and stew (no meat). Pounded yam and Okra and stew (efo with vegetable oil didn't taste good to me)
I also tried a lot of Indian food because they are vegetarian so they have some sweet recipes
My biggest issue was to make sure I eat a lot of protein because we rely too much on meat normally

IdiAminDada:
Yes i have cheated but not like regularly as you think. Last time, its like over a yr ago. I do make serious effort not to cheat but when ever I rebuff girls and return home, i feel like going back to where i came from.

I hate chatting, when i do, its usually a new contact and will not last a week. I dont make long calls either. Even my male friends quarrel me for not effort in calling. So i never spend anytime at all with any girl nor spend any money on girls. All these are in her head.

Its hard to sit and talk things when she misunderstands and take things personal. My sisters and my parents will change to language when she is around to avoid her issues but the next thing is she assumes they are talking about her. My family is careful talking around her cause she will turn issues upside down.

Ok- so you occasional cheat? the last time was 1 year ago? and she should just shrug it off and dedicate her life to someone like you? you realize that being unfaithful to your wife ONCE is good reason for her to leave you for good? its men like you that go outside, get STDs and then infect your wife then blame her for being unfaithful

As you can see from the lack of sympathy here- from both male and female responders- na YOU wey get problem. Abeg go to the village, make they wash your head because only God knows the curse that is worrying you that is causing you to be so useless to your family.

Abeg. one yeah the guy was only interested in you to date you so there is your answer
two- lets be honest, you were using this guy as your backup/spare tire in case bf doesnt work. I mean, you guys joking about exploring your sexuality? abeg- not platonic.
Lets be honest with ourselves here

And for heavens sake - stop blaming women for your own problems. It is not dressing that is worrying you. otherwise all men would behave the same way to the same dress. You have trained yourself not to shake when you see a girls ankle in nigeria but in saudi- a man would be vibrating. meanswhile in Europe, what makes you vibrate in nigeria will not even turn an eyelid there. its all training. STOP BLAMING other people for your own problems.

Adam said...It is the woman you gave me....


You men havent changed

OkpanachiMax:
That's is hypocrisy, I don't want to be religious about this but my question for you, can you vow not to eat when you are hungry?

Have you not heard of Gandhi and his famous hunger strike? Do muslims not fast during Ramdan? Christians during Easter? What are you saying? Acting like we are beasts and not made in the VERY IMAGE of GOD! You are insulting HIM by insinuating you can't control yourself.

I'm not saying we have to be perfect (body no be wood). But sex drive is not the same as a food drive. You will ACTUALLY DIE if you dont eat . and i have shown you countless examples above about people who deny themselves this thing.

Sex is an urge. Something we WANT to do and comes with great reward (pleasure, orgasm, feeling of closeness to partner). All things that can be controlled and satisfied in a controlled manner

I think I understand but I'm not very sympathetic unfortunately. Because i'm coming from the other side

You are complaining about not eating your favorite food. when you were single, were you always eating your favorite food? was the quality of your meals as high as it is now? For 98% of my married male friends I know- the answer is a resounding NO. They used to always eat out or eat rubbish. The chick upgraded your game but you forgot. Meanwhile what has she given up. I've been married 13 years, i havent eaten my favorite (amala and ewedu) in 13 years cuz my husband hates it. if you ask my husband now, he wont know or remember that. its easy to remember what you lost but forgot what she lost

Harmless going out till midnight. Hmm.. lets see how this is harmless... You have CHILDREN. Is it good for them to only see their father on weekends? Or what part of abandoning your wife to raise them is harmless?and while you had your fun- pray tell what was your wife doing? Was she having hers? or was she cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, settling fights between siblings, bathing, putting people to sleep while planning for tomorrow?

You flirt with other women. How would you like it if she had similar texts from men? Oh wait, you think she will never leave you for another guy abi? thats why you are having emotional affairs up and down? and you see nothing wrong with this?

Your wife is trying. IMO she should leave you. then when your girlfriends find out you are unemployed and wont be a good husband or father to their kids- watch them fly away like birds leaving you alone as you deserve to be

I completely disagree. In Sharia countries where women are completely covered- men are vibrating from seeing a girls shoulder. In nigeria, men vibrate when they see thighs. In Europe where dressing is scandalous, men vibrate only for naked women. It shows that its not what the woman is wearing that is the issue, otherwise all men would behave the same to the same amount of exposure.

Remember that int he beginning, both were naked.

This immorality is WITHIN us. let us stop with the original sin of Adam and Eve with blaming outside influences for our internal lack of faith.

I'm not saying social media and outside things like porn are good- they make things worse for sure. But please stop putting the responsibility of your own holiness on someone else's dressing or TV. Vow within your own heart that you will not look at another woman lustfully

Oh
Do you know why marriages aren't working? It's because wives are refusing to

By the way- you are only partially right. the reason why marriage isnt working is becase of women. You see, 100 years ago, if a woman leaves her husband, what are her options? She will lose her kids, no money. now, she has options so if a man is maltreating her, she can leave and she and her kids will have a good life.

Yes, about 75% of divorces are initiated by women who are fed up. What i do see is a sea of men scratching their head, wondering whats up and complaining about how women cant be "controlled" any more. Not wondering how they can be better men, husbands or fathers.

The research is true. when things fail, women blame themselves. men blame other people. The sin of Adam still stands - This woman you gave me..... instead of repenting and inspecting our hearts before God.

I have found that God acts cyclically. Something like sowing and reaping. I really dont know who starts the cycle but at some point, a husband's love towards his wife fosters her respect for him which in turn builds his love for her. Any one of them break this cycle and it doesnt work.

Being female, of course i have countless tales of husbands who take and take and do not give while preaching -SUBMIT TO ME WOMAN. I'm sure there are men with countless stories of loving husbands who get nothing but disrespect from their wives.

I have to note that the last wedding i went to - the pastor spent 30 minutes talking about submission and 8 minutes on loving a wife (i timed it because i was fed up). I guess even the pastor had no clue on how to love women

Lockdown is also creating cynical wives who are looking on. Its only where there are no other options he is with his kids (last priority). We will see everyone's true colors when the lockdown is over

Abeg- women were always embracing family planning. what do you think "I'm tired" and "I have a headache" is?

MrBrownJay1:
unless you are ready and willing to be FULLY HONEST to your partner, you shouldnt remotely think of getting married to someone...



your past r/ship are a definition of who you are...what you may like or not, why you are the way you are etc. it is very important for your partner to fully understand that, and the only way is to tell them exactly what happened in your past, so that they can comprehend fully who you are and why you are in such a way.
failure to be fully honest in marriage will be your GRAVE MARITAL MISTAKE #1



there is nothing wrong with seeking advice from outside your home and explaining where the issue lay... a person with an outside look will be better fitted to see whats wrong in your marriage, especially if it is someone whom you trust their judgement....aka a family member, a close friend, a confident etc
believing that you cant talk to outsiders about your marriage issues will be your GRAVE MARITAL MISTAKE #2



in life you have to be fully honest with everyone around you, whether good or bad.... you cant possibly pretend to like anyone OR smile to people, if you dont want to... just be respectful by telling them what time it is. living your whole life being a fake individual will hurt you much more in the long run than anything else. NEVER be afraid to be yourself, NEVER be a coward, NEVER lower yourself to attain so BS points with others.
living life as a slave to your in laws feeling will be your GRAVE MARITAL MISTAKE #3

You have hit the nail on the head. Blind rules like the above are why people get into abusive situations

Both of them are looking for a divorce lawyer. Abeg i have references

My guy- this is God showing you the kain family you get. next time, you dont leave your money in the house in a stupid bag. is this the first time they have stolen from you? Next time, be more responsible with your money and not expect others who you KNOW ARE IRRESPONSIBLE to be more considerate

Wait I am confused
You are married man with 3 children at home but you want to go partying and clubbing? so who will take care of these children?
She is annoying you by asking what you want to eat. When you dont answer, she cooks something you dont like? SO she is a mind reader ?

Oh wait- YOU ARE A TROLL...

This is just bad behavior tolerated everywhere which is why this neighbor persists with this rubbish. and no, he doesn't respect you otherwise he would have tried other methods to get you rather than just going straight to the PLEASE let me have sex like some diseased dog.
Unfortunately there are men like this everywhere. I'm just grateful not all men are like this.