₦airaland Forum

CongoleseQueen: Marriage has an important significance in every society. In African societies, there are three marriage ceremonies, traditional, court and white. The traditional marriage is the most important of all three. It’s not just a celebration of unbinding love between two individuals – it’s the creation of a deep union between two families and communities.

Before the celebration of most traditional marriages, the groom’s family must present the bride’s family with goods, as requested by the elders in her clan. Money, property, shoes, clothes, food, jewelry, electronics and other accessories are examples of some of these goods. They often vary, depending on each family.

As an individual who was raised in a home centered around culture, I fully understand the importance of traditional practices. However, I have struggled with grasping the reasoning behind some of these practices. I recall having a conversation with a friend about the process of traditional marriage. She once told her mom that she was not interested in receiving a bride price. She is all for having a traditional wedding, but refuses to participate in a ceremony that she feels is unnecessary. Her mom was certainly not pleased with her request. In fact, she informed her that it wasn’t a decision that lied in her hands. It had already been decided for her the moment she was born. While I do see where her mother is coming from, I don’t think she should be forced to adhere to a custom that doesn’t apply to her as an individual. If anything, it should be a choice.

Personally, I want to have a traditional wedding because I want to celebrate my culture. But I do not agree with some of the details associated with having a traditional marriage. I am on the fence about my family demanding a bride price. I am just not sure where I stand on that particular issue. I am more induced by the celebratory and cultural aspect of a traditional marriage. Afterall, isn’t that what truly matters?

I fully get the symbolism behind receiving a bride price. It is a practice that has been in place for centuries. However, is it still relevant to our society? I know that this statement will probably give every tribal chief a panic attack, but it is a valid question. Everytime I think of the bride price, I remember the song “Matata Ya Mwasi Na Mobali Esila Te (Marital Problems Will Never End)”, where Franco Luambo sings, “soki na keyi ko traiter ba affaire, nazongi na lingi na pema, akomi ko tuna nga, ozalaki wapi? O uti wapi? Ba lobaki boye — mwasi na bala na mosolo, nani a pesi ye authorisation a tuna nga epayi na uti?” He is pretty much saying that a woman he married (paid for) is not authorized to ask him any questions regarding his whereabouts. It is a reminder that I am being purchased by someone.

In 2004, activists from Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Senegal, Ghana, Rwanda and South Africa gathered in Kampala for the International Bride Price Conference to discuss ways of eliminating its practice in Africa. Quite frankly, I don’t think it is a good idea to get rid of it completely. I simply think that people should not be forced to participate. It should be optional.

A single African country can have anywhere from five to two hundred tribes, and each tribe carries its own customs. With so many rituals in place, individuals who come from the same country, but belong to different tribes, are not encouraged to marry. This is not a progressive way of thinking. If these traditions aren’t creating unified sense of belonging, why are Africans still holding on to them?

Scandal Actress, Kerry Washington, recently had a child with a Nigerian man. Due to her husband’s tradition, they had to wait eight days before naming their child. In his culture, a child is named in an official naming ceremony a week after birth. During a conversation with a Nigerian friend, I mentioned that story, and he had no idea such a tradition ever existed. According to him, these things vary from tribe to tribe. This is an issue found throughout the entire continent. Each tribe or ethnic group holds on to its own customs and refuses to welcome or appreciate those found in other regions.

For many Africans, the rise of inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages is a sign that tribal disputes have ended. That’s like saying, inter-religion marriages have ended religious wars and disputes. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Tribal fighting is still an ongoing problem in Africa. Africans are still committing atrocious acts of violence towards one another due to tribal differences. A friend of mine once said that Africans are always complaining about how badly they were treated by Europeans, but refuse to acknowledge the fact that they are doing the same thing to each other.


Inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages are becoming more popular due to Western influence. Most Western societies encourage cultural diversity and tolerance. Africans who have been exposed to it tend to become more open. The average African, living within the borders of Africa, would prefer to marry a person from their tribe. In fact, they have zero interest in knowing what goes on in other regions.

South Africa was listed as one of the world’s most multilingual countries. The average South African can speak or understand all of the country’s main languages. This is a great strategy towards creating a sense of unity and belonging within its frontier. It is a fantastic way of promoting cultural diversity.

In conclusion, before we start advocating for a “united Africa”, let’s first encourage a “united Congo”, “united Nigeria”, “united Sudan” and so forth. Africans love culture. That is what makes our continent so beautiful. However, it’s very difficult to genuinely appreciate the culture when it is playing key role in dividing our people. Africans hold traditional practices very close to their hearts, as they have been passed on from generation to generation. Change is not something most of us are quick to accept, but if we are working towards a unified and progressive Africa, accepting cultural diversity and tolerance is the right way forward.

source: http://afri-culture.com/african-traditions-in-todays-society-is-it-time-to-put-an-end-to-traditional-wedding-rites/

ideyvexnow: How Nigeria Can Win The Fifa World Cup In 2018.

It is no longer news that Nigeria have just been eliminated from the ongoing 2014 Fifa World cup in Brazil.

This can be attributed to many factors such as poor squad selection, in ability to defend set pieces, lack of creativity in the final third of the

pitch and finally, sub standard/half baked player abilities development (with the exception of Enyeama)

The Real Problem....

It is public knowledge that Nigeria is the most successful country in the world at the Fifa Under 17 World Cup level, but we have not been able

to translate this success to the Super Eagles.

The Reason for this is simply because, at the under 17 level, Nigeria has lots of football academies around the country whose job is to scout for

and train naturally talented and skillful young players who are between JS3 and SS2 level.

These academies help the young footballers to develop their personal abilities like running, jumping, heading, shooting, passing, dribbling, ball

juggling etc.

As a result, Nigeria benefits immensely, by winning lots of Under 17 world cups.

Our problem begins once these players return from the under 17 world cup tournaments.

These players are simply abandoned to their own fate to fend for themselves and as a result, the following happens,

1. The team spirit and cohesion is destroyed

2. The youngsters whose can't fend for themselves at 17 years of age, fall by the way side or sign useless exploiting contracts that end up

destroying their careers.

No more effort is made by the nation to assist these youngsters in further developing their skills.

It's like stopping your child's education at SS2 level and you want the child to go and compete for the post of MD of a company with people

holding PHD.

The Solution is ... The Super Eagles Special Player Development Program ....

1. We need to identify all the top/best football players from the past and present and emulate them/ clone them. Players such as

Christian Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Ronaldindo, Arjen Robben, Ronaldo De Lima, David Beckam, Gabriel Batistuta etc. We will then select a group of

talented players to specially train and mold them into each of these special players. To do this, we will need to contract special foreign personal

trainers for each young talented player.

2. The federal government of Nigeria, will give these boys special juicy football contracts and payment packages that will last at least till they

become 23 years and sign a better local or foreign contract or are dropped from the Super Eagles Special Player Development Program.

2. Nigeria will contract foreign personal trainers to train of boys in areas such as dribbling, shooting, heading, free kicks, penalty kicks, goal

keeping etc.

3. Nigeria will contract foreign personal trainers to train selected number of players to dribble and shoot like Messi. We will get another foreign

personal trainer, to train a selected group of talented boys to player like Christiano Ronaldo etc.

4. We will contract a foreign technical adviser to select and coach the best 22 players among these hand picked and specially trained players.

This Technical Adviser will organize competitive matches for these boys against local and foreign opponents. This will continue until these boys

become 23 years old.

5. At the age of 23 years, these players can now be allowed to sign contracts with foreign clubs.

Once we have finished developing super star footballers, we can now ensure that any Coach or Technical Adviser hired is forced to only select

player from our Super made in Nigeria Eagles

I believe that If this blueprint is followed, Nigeria will win the 2018 world cup with ease.

Guys and Girls, what do you think?

Alikaxon: Hey! Mr Op. What then is love? Love is blind and kind, it can do anything. And again, please don't make it seem a character with girls alone.... What of a guy who 'll buy an ipad, take a girl for shopping and buy her heaven and earth like a maga when she is not even a wife, what have u bought for ur mum? But its good to be in love, don't get it twisted!

Adaeze003: O jeez! Mynd easy jor no need of calling names. Like I said, some girls fall into the wrong hands early. I remember when I was still in secondary school, 15 year olds were already 'dating' 25-30 year old men! Now these old men were just taking advantage of them but how were they to know at that age? At such early stage you can make some girls believe any rubbish and I'm no psychologist but that can affect their reasoning. Our parents didn't even give us appropriate sex education, they just pretended that there was nothing like sex! So the problem isn't inherent stupiditty but rather lack of proper sex education.

WMD: The silence from that part of the country givs me great concern wallahi. . . No insult pls. Is jst that i dnt hear them even in our network news or am i the only one?

Nostalgia21: wtf!..frm ihube too..amagu village

click2cbn: FGC Okigwe, my Alma Mater, i spent years in Okigwe,left there officially last year though i still visit

click2cbn: FGC Okigwe, my Alma Mater, i spent years in Okigwe,left there officially last year though i still visit

pyzdan: Am from Ihube, Okigwe LGA of Imo State

click2cbn: IHUBE n her cashew

yellowpawpaw: She is correct.
Ibo is d people while igbo is the culture and language. Don't mix it up.

shadowxteem: Anambra...ORAIIFITE...Dad from AWOR mum From Umuezopi Like to know you more

EVANKOKO1: am proud to be an AKU OKIGWE BOY.in imo state

princesa: here we go again:

you people (ibos) should let him know that you are angry. Tell him where it pains you people. If the ibos should leave nairaland, I tell you the truth, things would spoil. The man (Seun) would not see what he would eat again.

#you can thank me later, Mr seun

greall1: Ibo plenty on dis forum oooooooo

slap1: Umuhu-Ukwu, Atta, Ikeduru LGA of Imo State. Ndewonu!

GentleMimi: Hi,peeps.I am presently in an argument with a group of friends about the moral value behind the act of a female who goes to visit her ''guy'' and then enters his kitchen to cook for him (even when his health is in perfect condition).
Now,some of my friends argue that there is nothing wrong in the act,in fact,it is an avenue to exhibit her cooking skills.
Others counter that it makes the guy loose some of his respect for her after a period of consistent cooking and caring(mind you,this is coming from a male ooo).They go on to say that ''familiarity breeds contempt'',and that a guy looses interest if the girl seems too eager to please.
Now,i would really wish some NL guys would give me their HONEST opinion on this matter.Babes,do you think it a big deal to go to your bobo's house and then cook for him?

*Yipeeeeee! My topic made FP! Lol! My ban elapsed this evening so i guess this is a perfect way to celebrate!
I dedicate this topic to my ''point and kill club,A.K.A derailers paradise'',my fans and haters.Mmmwwwuuuah!

GentleMimi: Hi,peeps.I am presently in an argument with a group of friends about the moral value behind the act of a female who goes to visit her ''guy'' and then enters his kitchen to cook for him (even when his health is in perfect condition).
Now,some of my friends argue that there is nothing wrong in the act,in fact,it is an avenue to exhibit her cooking skills.
Others counter that it makes the guy loose some of his respect for her after a period of consistent cooking and caring(mind you,this is coming from a male ooo).They go on to say that ''familiarity breeds contempt'',and that a guy looses interest if the girl seems too eager to please.
Now,i would really wish some NL guys would give me their HONEST opinion on this matter.Babes,do you think it a big deal to go to your bobo's house and then cook for him?

*Yipeeeeee! My topic made FP! Lol! My ban elapsed this evening so i guess this is a perfect way to celebrate!
I dedicate this topic to my ''point and kill club,A.K.A derailers paradise'',my fans and haters.Mmmwwwuuuah!

berem: For your mind! APC has come to stay in Imo state. You better get used to it or you change your state of origin.

Kingsley1000: so daft,,i know you're sentiment driven,peter obi wasted 8yrs in office without anytn to show for it,full of corruption,building malls in abuja/grant malt in pH with State fund,is an abomination....That anambra is fairly developed is courtesy of NGIGE...We have the resources to turn things round,buh d dubious admins we'v had in d past hampers it....dont tell me Obi's 8yrs is better dan rochas's 2yrs,d difference innit clear?

Neaman: APC is already fixing blame for their defeat..ask your Rochas how he won against Ohakim and his mercenaries..mayb u cud adopt the same strategy..buh dats if you re sure u have'nt lose already.

blocker: How did Igbos betray Orji Uzor Kalu? PPA is a party sponsored by Abia funds before and after winning the 2007 elections. PDP did not have an Imo State gubernotarial candidate in 2007 and that was how Ikedi Ohakim under special arrangement was given the PPA ticket in Imo State. So it was expectedly predictable that Ohakim should leave PPA who had no seat in Imo State House of Assembly and had no LGA Chairman nor Councellor in Imo. How could Orji Uzor Kalu expect to call the shots in Imo and Abia at the same time as if his loot used to fund PPA is enough to control Imo where PPA had no structure except for a borrowed building, a few 14 seater buses and about a dozen henchmen? And you come here to make a case that Igbos betrayed OUK. In what way? Or you drew your conclusions from from being an adherent and feverent reader of SUN Newspapers?

just4francisca: for me and my household we rather vote for pdp than to vote BH. But this discussion of election dnt u guys think is too early for such discussion . Why dnt we wait for 2015 to come first. Any way. My advise for u guys at d TOP is to forget 2015 and focus on wht ur doing.

Smooyis: Thanks for the clarifications. The problems our people in the east are facing is that they do not realize that it is totally impossible to make a national influence politically without reaching out to other tribes or regions. Even Buhari has come to realise that he cannot make much national impact if he does not open up to others. Same for Tinubu and others. Why crucify Okorocha who is one of your noble sons. What is wrong in aligning with progressives in other regions of the country in order to bring a change. Truly a prophet has no honour among his people.

Igbos should stop this attitude of not seeing anything good in others simply because they are not their kinsmen. They should have a broader perspective like we the yorubas who accommodate all shades of opinions, tribes, parties, and religions without any acrimony.

Politics is a thing of choice and everyone should be left to make his or her own choice. In the time past under OBJ, many easterners were in the fore front of criticisms against PDP. But today the story has changed. The war is now against APC.
Even though i have my reservations against the APC, i believe they surely have the right to position themselves so as to effectively confront the octopus PDP.

With the way things are it may be difficult for Nigerians to truly support an Igbo presidency in the forseeable future unless this attitude changes.