₦airaland Forum

jude33084: Maybe na your family go dey inside that bus wey aeroplane go crash ontop?

I for say your family go dey inside the plane, but unless una win plane ticket for 7up promo, your family would never be rich enough to afford the transport the airport talkless of to enter plane... Ewu!

amosy007: Okija fire black butt.... Na my governor u wan kill for ur mumu fresh air president ?....

Guy relax jor!!

Na fresh Air dey rain now... VEry soon, we go dey even sell sachet fresh air!!

Tell your guy say make ehn no dey warn elders anyhow!! Ehn problem and Jona problem no dey even live for the same state talkless of to resemble...

GboyegaD: Gross show of stu.pidity. How ignorant a youth can be.

Your mother is senile and you are a crackbaby!!
Fhuck you very much!!

Mr. wise man... Go fhuck yourself!!

Bastiger: I PITY HATERS LIKE YOU,YOUR PESSIMISM AND ANTAGONISM HAS KEPT YOU WHERE YOU ARE TODAY(STAGNANT) AND PROBABLY CONTRIBUTED TO YOUR NAME"OKIJA JUJU".LEARN TO APPRECIATE GOOD THINGS IF YOU WANT GOOD THINGS TO COME YOUR WAY.

Your mother is still a crackhead LovePeddler who turns tricks for spoons of Benylin... Fhucking b'astard!!

Your family is on welfare and you are here talking about stagnation!!

In my stagnation, I would feed your family, put you through school and still have enough money to do it all again 100 times over!!

Your mother!!

Next time you see my post, waka pass o!!

Loser fan of a loser club!

CPC!!!!

I dey Laugh!!


CPC is a Northern Party which has fanatical muslims as their support base and is headed by a former military dictator that is also known as the financier and supporter of Boko Haram.

They should go fhuck themselves.. We would rather be ruled from the grave by the Late Yaradua than vote CPC into power... NEVER!!

Partnering to launch...

Guiness Trophyless fruit drink!!

The consolation drink for loosers

See this Edo man o!!

Your father!!!

Na our presido you dey warn?!! You dey mad?!!

Infact, you don lose the election.. You dey follow Fresh Air play, na die you dey!!

Shey tipper miss you before, na aeroplne dem go carry follow you next time..

Where is Kalu Uche?!!

That dude is one of our best midfielders o!! And he scores goals as well!!

Tinyemeka: The little girl is covered and guarded by the precious Blood Of Jesus Christ! She shall come to no harm and shall be returned safely to her parents.

I strongly suspect that the assailants had come initially, with the intention of robbing the household. And when they didn't get any valuables, they decided to take the girl as ransom for money to be demanded later.

The poor woman quickly showed them where her children lay, probably to arouse their sympathy and encourage them to leave without further harm. The robbers instead saw an opportunity presented.

Where was the blood of Jesus to make the kidnappers slip and break their necks before they kidnapped the girl?!

Start praying that those kidnappers make contact and demand a ransom or that they get caught by the Police..

Everything Jesus, holyspirit, blood of Jesus!!

Arrant nonsense!!

Yup!!

He was one of the family. He was an English Cocker Spaniel named rover. Was born and raised and trained in the United Kingdom.. Was brought back to Nigeria and he immediately fell sick. I remember visiting him in the hospital, looking into his cute teary eyes and praying he would recover. At last he did after spending over 2 weeks on admission and over 50 Thousand in treatment.. So he became one of the family, would play and lick everyone who bothered to look and smile in his direction.. There was never a dull moment with rover until one fateful day..

My landlord was a retired Military man and he had a beautiful white-furred dog. She was a Papillon. He loved this dog so much.. Oneday, our landlord came back home to find my Cocker Spaniel joined at the hip with his Papillon.. I heard his voice screaming 'OKIJA!! OKIJA!!! Your dog is r'aping my dog' I rushed out the house in my boxer shorts, and saw both dogs looking as guilty as that 'Kenyan man that was caught with black magic fhucking another mans wife' He got so mad that he immediately ran into his house and came out with a Winchester single barrel 12 guage shotgun, aimed at my dog and said he would shoot on the count of 5 if I didnt get Rover off of his dog... Started to count to 0 from 5... I screamed and begged Rover to stop fhucking his dog but Rover couldnt help himself... 3....2....1....BOOM!!! My landlord shot rover in the leg.. Blood everywhere.. They came apart... His dog scampered to safety of beneath is Volkswagen Santana.. Mine layed there howling in a pool of blood.. I checked his wounds.. It was hopeless... I knew he would die for certain... My Landlord issued me a caveat on Dogs in his compound.. I was lost.

Just then my Akwa Ibom girlfriend was staying over.. she rushed out at the sound of the gun.. Saw me crying and hugged me saying 'Honey!! Its okay'.. I carried Rover into the house, hosed him down and left him in my bathtub to bleed to death... Rushed a bath to wash the blood off me and went to sleep.. When I woke up, my girlfriend had prepared some sweet rice and peppersoup.. She said I should eat and I will feel okay!! I did and the food was so sweet.. The meat tasted so sweet.. I even asked for seconds.. When I was done, composed and relaxed, I stood up and went to take Rover out for burial.. entering the bathroom, I found that he wasnt there.. I asked Ekaette where he was and she said 'He is in your stomach".. I screamed!! WHAT!!!!!! She said yes!!! He is in your stomach and the remaining is in the pot... I fainted!!

Anyways.. I miss my Dog, he was a friend, companion and sweet delicacy..

RIP Rover.. 1997 - 2000.

BATTLESHIP!!

MY Best movie of 2012 so far!!

Avenger

Close second!

YES!!

Even if it means killing my own people!!

United till Jesus comes or we evolve into Aliens!!

divalishis: When I started dating my boyfriend, I told him about my wicked uncle that I grew up with. I even showed him my uncle's picture!

Darn, that man was really mean! Just remembering him makes me feel uneasy. Whenever we children heard his car horn, we would scamper for safely and zap into the children's room. We usually disappear before we get this really painful, open handed spank in the middle of the back, for no serious reason! My uncle used to spot a bushy moustache and whenever I got in trouble, he would sit, twisting the ends of the moustache contemplatively. Then suddenly; a heavy knock on my shaved head and a painful twist of my ear.

So back to my boyfriend.

He started growing a moustache earlier this year and I told him I don't like it. But he laughed it off and said it was a new look. Last week, I was seeing a movie and had an argument with him. He turned off the TV and glared at me angrily. He looked so much like my wicked uncle that I became petrified and my ears started twitching out of fear, like it was about to be twisted again.

I even answered 'Yes, uncle' unconsciously when I heard my bf calling my name from the kitchen, because I was really engrossed in thoughts about the unhappy past. After we made up, he told me (jokingly?) he'd be keeping the moustache, to keep me in line cos I looked so scared.

Please, what do I do? He has refused to shave! I hate the way he looks now!

When I started dating, I told her about my evil Female dog (B'itch) I had growing up. I even showed her the picture of the dog and the scars from her.

Darn!! The dog was a b'itch.. Just remembering her make me quiver with disgust.. When even children and other animals in the neighborhood heard her barking, they all ran for cover because she was mean, big and strong. You either run or you would get bitten by my dog for no reason.. She was always very angry and would bite every and anything that had four legs and she could over power. My dog was a great dane and stood very very tall.

So back to my girlfriend.

She started wearing 8inch stilletoes this year and I told her I didnt like it. Last week I was watching a movie "MUST LOVE DOGS" and had an arguement with her. She turned off the T.V and stood in front of it with her 6 inch stilleto & was looking at me with this look in her eyes. She immediately reminded me of my dog and I became afraid and terrified and the hair on my neck stod in fright. It was like I was about to be biten again..

I even screamed "get the fhuck out of my way b'itch" unconciously. Then she went into the kitchen and made me dinner. After dinner, we made up, I took her to the bedroom, fhucked her doogy style. After which she whispered "I would be keeping the stilletos, I liked the way you fhucked me like a dog".

Please what do I do?! She has refused to stop wearing those stilletoes... Now my back hurts from fhucking her doggy.

She even wears a collar now...




P.S: Thats how lame your story sounded to me..

This yoruba girl is ugly sha!!

Is she the same girl from "I need to know" series way back?!

[quote author=Baba_Eleko]^ ^ ^ you are a f0ol. Here nah Chicago abi life better for here as he better for Chicago. Stop spreading this ur mumuness.[/quote]Im sure you are a Yoruba man... Nuff said.

What shall it profit a Chelsea fan to lose the champions league and still die of lead poisoning....

Stone aged Nigerians.... Whats so wrong about parking fines and tickets?!

In another 5 years, speeding tickets would be introduced and people will still complain!!

The governments attitude to banning is really gonna cause more harn than good in the long run.... What we will end up having are Nigerian 'manufacturing/productio' companies that are shielded from economic challenges thus making them complacent and impeding their growth and drive to improve... I wonder what GLO would have been like if they didn't have MTN, Etisalat and other foreign competition in the market... In computing, the same thing should have been employed... Zinox and other Nigerian IT firms should be left to compete for a stance in the market.. America didn't ban foreign softwares and hardwares just so Windows and Apple could grow, but look at them today.. They explored the market and tweaked their product to have an edge.. Same for HP and co... They ban computers but there is a Nigerian made Tablet that is out there and I don't see them banning Ipads and other foreign Tablets... This is a policy that causes more harm than good.. When we sheild local companies from reality, they get comfortable in mediocrity..

Just when you think this country couldnt get any worse, they go and do something this stupid..

How is this progressive?!

Zinox and Omatek with their outdated technology..

I cant blame the leaders, they dont come from the computer age. When you say computer, they prolly cant think beyond microsoft word and excel.

I will not use a made in Nigeria Computer.

I will not use an assembled in Nigeria vehicle.

Its not that I am unpatriotic, but I want the best. If its the best, best believe I will spend my money on it. E.g... Made in Nigeria electric wires.. THE BEST.. Foreign wires are suffering.. Why would the government do such a foolish thing.. All we just did was increase chinas import of computer parts into nigeria.. Zinox is a computer assembly plant not manufacturing..

I hate this country... We elect fools that are still caught in the 60's and expect them to bring us development of the new age.. HOW!!?

Who here has watched the National assembly sitting and seem these senators trying to use an ipad?! \

Goodbye King kenny!

You brought us joy.. but caused us more pain..

I wish you well in your future endeavors.

Lexoria: M
May God punish your soul.Fool!!!!!!! Do u know the type of danger that girl might be in now.Do you know what that family is passing thrum now? I dnt want to wish it on u.Don 't make light of every matter, its not funny!!!!!!!!

You mother is a crack LovePeddler who conceived you after being fhucked in a pit latrine for 2 teaspoons of Benylin with codine... Thats why you are retar'ded, never graduated Kindergarten, are ugly and have the I.Q of a 2 year old toddler.

May Alusi Okija afflict your junkie mother with crabs.. I would have placed a curse on you father, but I cant blame the poor man, he was drunk and it was dark. You are the product of a broken condom, 5 packets of fake postinor 2 and a roadside delivery.

Next time if you do not understand a post, your best bet is to shut the fhuck up. You sound just like your mother. Uneducated, unrefined, uncouth and desperate to fit in.

Stay in your lane you m'oron.


P.S: Father forgive me for I have sinned...

hotwax: Funny u called somebody a fool. Is budget not meant to be executed ?

Wont you spend a money u budget on something ?

This has nothing to do with dictionary or google. This has to do with mental inconsistency.

Mscheeeew

Like you need Jesus if this is the best of your I.Q

Dictionary: a. An itemized summary of estimated or intended expenditures for a given period along with proposals for financing them.

Now, what this means is that we have put aside 'X' amount of money for food. We do not have to spend that money, but thats the maximum we can spend.

Unfortunately, many Nigerians think the office of the President is like their house.. That budget may sound too expensive, but seeing that the catering for Aso Rock isnt done by 'mamaput' nor does Dame Jonathan cook it herself.. So my advice is stop envying him.. If e too pain you, join PDP... In lagos, catering for a wedding of 1000 guests at 1,500 Naira per plate is 1.5million.. Now project. So, 30,000 dollars @ 160 NAira to a dollar is not even up to 3 million Naira...

Make una go hug transformer jor!!

Poverty beclouds common sense.

onyewec3: shut the eff up shank!!!!!didnt OBJ,YAR'ADUA ETC ate their 3-square meal with the same quantum of money?why pple no tell us say OBJ AND YAR'ADUA EAT THE SAME MONEY.BECOS SAY NA gej(who is a minority) una wan kill unsef with $30000.....Bleep off

You are wrong sir!!

THEY DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO TELL US HOW MUCH THEIR MEALS COST... They bunched it up under the budget for the office of the President.. Jonathan was gracious enough to outline it and the m'oron is talking trash about a man that his father would stand in line to catch a glimpse of..
And more over, it is just a budget.. Dosent mean they spend that amount everyday.. Maybe if the i'diot had graduated Kindegarten he would be able to think from his head and not his arse.

President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan should get the SSS to roughen Buhari up a bit... This man is fond of making such wicked comments to incite those illiterate Almajiris to action...

The last one he did cost Nigeria the lives of young innocent graduates that were serving their country. Now he talked about Baboons and Dogs being soaked in blood.. This is the statement of a criminal and Jonathan should get him arrested by the SSS for interrogation, keep him in their underground cell for a few days and make him sign a gag order on such inciteful comments else he would languish in jail or better yet he will be arrested and charged with high treason and killed..

Cattlefucker from the tribe of Pant-bombers

kingoflag: You dey laff? Last Night GEJ spent $30,000 just on meals alone. Tonight he spent another $30,000. Tomorrow he'll spend another $30,000. That's just 3 days. Oya, now think of every member of your family, include ur cousins and a few uncles and aunts and calculate how much all of you's meals for 10yrs will cost. Now, calculate how much dumbo Joe's meals for a week cost. Are you still laughing?

Shut up you mouth there KING of F'OOLS...

30,000 Dollars on food and you typed it and swallowed it.. Nwokem you better grow up. It was a budget you person.. Try and google what a budget is..

The first and basic problem with Nigeria as a whole (not just commercial cities) is and I repeat... NON FUNCTIONAL URBAN & REGIONAL PLANNING..

Most people chose Jos and Enugu for the following reasons;

1. Quiet

2. Secure

3. Serene

4. Clean.

Now these factors are lacking across virtually all the cities.. ONLY IN NIGERIA would you see companies, super markets, churches and businesses inside a G.R.A (Government RESIDENTIAL Area).. DOnt let us go into noise pollution from Churches and Mosques.. I remember our former house, one day we woke up to see that a church had been built on the ajacent plot. The noise was so unbearable that after we had a chat with the Pastor (who accused us of fighting God and trying to stop the work of God), we got the police to take down all the loud speakers in the church.. We never heard a pip from them again.
The problem is cyclic in nature. Nigerians are just stubborn and love to break laws. Inside of a residential estate, were the approved fence height was stipulated in the terms of agreement, where the color of the buildings had been fixed and the use of the property was clearly spelt out residential... Today, some people who bought these properties have erected high fences, some use their buildings for schools and offices (thus bringing so much traffic into the estate and the colours of the buildings differ from one house to the next.. I almost cried when I saw this.

LOOK at Port-Harcourt for example, The ONLY serene neighbourhood you have is 'NZIMIRO' in Amadi-Flats, Old GRA... The rest of the city is fhucked.. People have destroyed the entire place. its an uneven mixture of companies, supermarkets, churches, kiosks, bars, recharge card stands, hotels and all.. Infact, just buy a piece of land, pay the necessary dues and you can do whatever you like with it...



The regulatory bodies simply sit in their offices and collect monies for different levies and dues, and let people deface prime properties with stores and shops.. INFACT, their are areas in port-harcourt where peoples fence walls are shops..

The only way an Igbo man could possibly be connected to Boko Haran was if the bought the canned cokes they used for their IED's from an Igbo mans shop.
We Ndi Igbos are too concious of life to die for a useless cause like Boko Haram. The only reason that this is coming out now is because the leader of their group that was caught by the SSS is from THAT tribe.. The same one that brought us Yahoo Yahoo, NURTW thuggery, invisible cocaine and holds the world record for 'most ingested amount of cocaine'..

They should keep trying, but we will never be associated, related nor will we dialogue or negociate with terrorist.

Logic Mind: ^hide this post

Dont worry, your post was politically correct thats why it wont be hidden.. But if you specify a Tribe especially [b]THEIR Tribe, you are finished..

So now, I have decided to adjust my ways.. lol

tunnytox: Stop being childlish! there are as many ibo tribalists as Yoruba on NL, as a neutral I'll report any posts that I found offensive rather than picking on a particular poster because what this insinuates is that yourself may be a tribalist in disguise.

I can see that you are definitely one of THEM...
The Igbos have always been on the defensive against YOUR PEOPLE... How come a good Igbo man like myself has been banned so many times I now have over 4 User ID's on Nairaland, yet YOUR PEOPLE never get a caution talkless of a ban... I suggest you go back and rethink on your stance.. I know some of THEIR bigots who are just internet bigots and do it just for fun like Rhino and Bluetooth.. But what about the likes of Ileke Idi?!

I open a thread about Nairaland being an anti-igbo thread and people just laughed it off... I can bet you that Igbos had the highest ban on this thread, after the deletes.. But THEIR PEOPLE are still free like a bird..

Nna hapu kwa anyi aka, ndi igbo adighi atu onye obuna ujo'.

We dont die, we multiply..

What a thread!!

The mod went psycho and deleted the entire posts!!!

I wonder how many 'MY' people got banned!!