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Olunifemi's Posts

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Jokes EtcA Virgin's Worst Nigtmare by olunifemi(op): 3:11pm On May 18, 2007
a girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."
Jokes EtcWhy 911 Could Never Happen In Nigeria: by olunifemi(op): 3:00pm On May 18, 2007
why 9/11 could never happen in nigeria,

This is completely hilarious.


After the tragedy of 9/11 in the States, the following conversation took place between an interviewer and a Nigerian political aspirant.


Interviewer: What will happen if Nigeria is attacked?
Political Aspirant: What will happen if Nigeria is attacked?

Well , if that happens, there can be no comparison.
That is because in Nigeria we are much better prepared for
these kinds of attacks, given the following reasons:

- We do not construct exaggerated elevated buildings.
- We all get on the job late in the morning, therefore, at 8.45am
there won't be sufficient people to kill.
- Fire fighters and police officers will do their utmost not to get to
the spot in time. They will reach there just when everything is over,
so there will be no casualties among them.
- The Nigeria airways would surely have fouled up the terrorist's plans
by being delayed again, and of course loosing the luggage - containing the bombs.
- A Nigerian would not have used his cell phone to call home. He
would've hit the terrorist with it over the head.
- If a terrorist was living for one year in Nigeria (Oshodi), he
would've been robbed and molested so many times and would've
given up and gone back home long time ago.
- In Nigeria the terrorists would not have gotten the flight manual,
cuz there is none.
- In Nigeria "Egbe" (juju) go don make all the passengers disappear
before the thing hit Mushin or Ajegunle
You see, in Nigeria we are well prepare
Nairaland GeneralRe: Can You Real Men See What The Women Are Saying About U? by olunifemi(op): 2:54pm On May 18, 2007
:d
RomanceRe: How Romantic are Nigerian Men (and Women)? by olunifemi(f): 2:48pm On May 18, 2007
true talk
RomanceWhat Do Guys Do When They Fall In Love? by olunifemi(op): 2:45pm On May 18, 2007
Its hard to tell when a guy loves a girl coz their intentions r never clear.
So guys what do u do when u actually love agirlhuh
RomanceRe: Caught in action:Your Best Friend With Your Bf/girlfriend by olunifemi(op): 2:36pm On May 18, 2007
huh
Christianity EtcRe: What Was The Forbidden Fruit? by olunifemi(op): 2:29pm On May 18, 2007
im in grin
RomanceWhat's With Guys And Younger Women? by olunifemi(op): 2:19pm On May 18, 2007
Some guyz PREFER younger women as much as girlz like older guys.
So why do guys like younger girlshuh
Nairaland GeneralRe: Secret Confessions by olunifemi(op): 2:17pm On May 18, 2007
;d
Nairaland GeneralCan You Real Men See What The Women Are Saying About U? by olunifemi(op): 2:15pm On May 18, 2007
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
 
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are, 
   
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
   
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would
hit the ground first?
A: Who cares??, 
   
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
   
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
   
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business
 
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .
 
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink, 
 
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
intention of driving.
 
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
 
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
CrimeRe: Craziest Thing I've Ever Done! by olunifemi(op): 2:14pm On May 18, 2007
baddest
RomanceCaught in action:Your Best Friend With Your Bf/girlfriend by olunifemi(op): 2:09pm On May 18, 2007
my people tell me what would u do?
would u 4give your bestfriend and your partner?
what would your reaction be to d matter?
sincere answers plss
FamilyRe: If Your Wife Is Unfaithful by olunifemi(op): 2:02pm On May 18, 2007
McDoe:
If everyone gets the hell out of here, who would then respond to your posts? We should be cautious on how we react in this forum otherwise the whole idea of creating it would be defeated. Olunifemi, please be warned!
wht's ds?am i gettg paid 4 posting on n/l?wht's dt got 2 do wt ds post?
grow up mcdoe cheesy
RomanceRe: Best Way 2 Break Up With Ur Partner by olunifemi(op): 1:45pm On May 18, 2007
inze:
Just tell it the best way it can come out of your mouth, if you want to tell him/her you are HIV positive, am sorry she might be a blubber mouth and you know the consequences.

This is a thing of the heart and should be treated as such, for you to want a break-up, there must be a reason and if you feel the reason doesn't seem genuine enough to tell her, why break-up then.

And if you still feel like lieing to him/her, who knows, it might cost you your windscreen like IBDat (thats if you have one) or something more.

I just feel for your friend, anyway or anyhow, good luck
smiley
RomanceRe: Best Way 2 Break Up With Ur Partner by olunifemi(op): 1:44pm On May 18, 2007
McDoe:
Bleep U baby fucker!, u lack decency
im not suprised at u.nairaland admin should get rid of ur kind of being FROM nairaland
u r a MINOR & IMMATURE.



[/color][color=#990000]U LACK ETTIQUET
Nairaland GeneralRe: 24 Things We've Learnt From Nollywood ! by olunifemi(op): 1:37pm On May 18, 2007
huh
FamilyRe: If Your Wife Is Unfaithful by olunifemi(op): 2:02pm On May 17, 2007
:d
RomanceRe: Best Way 2 Break Up With Ur Partner by olunifemi(op): 1:06pm On May 17, 2007
u dont need 2 direct me anywhere.if u hv nothg 2 post,get d hell outta here.
pple join nairaland everyday,wht r we then sayg,
Christianity EtcRe: What Was The Forbidden Fruit? by olunifemi(op): 1:00pm On May 17, 2007
Bobbyaf:
@ maxpecas

That fruit was like any other fruit. The only difference about it was that it was used by God as a means of testing Adam's as well as Eve's loyalty. The fruit within itself had no power as such, but was a means to an end. In other words the act of disobeying God would have resulted in their knowing about evil as well, but not in the way God knew it. At the time before the fall only God had a perfect knowledge of both good and evil. Why else would He desire to keep us from evil if He didn't know about it's consequence? God didn't practise evil of course, but He knew about it, seeing He is omni-scient, and what it would lead to if humans or any of His intelligent creatures yielded to it.

I am glad you raised that question. That fruit stood as a test to see if they would obey God out of love and respect for Him. It brings into question the matter of trust. Lucifer the rebel angel had brought up this question of trusting God in heaven, and now on earth after he was expelled from heaven he was introducing the very same issue among Adam and Eve. This is what he said to the woman:

Genesis 3:4 “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

In other words God was not being fair. He was holding back their potential to be wiser, and greater. The very same argument he had put to the angels, a third of them, who sided and rebelled with him.
really?

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