isnt it obvious? English language.

i just looked at your story. the plot is absorbing. i'm an English language major and i usually edit books. so i'm going to try to edit yours and if u dont like it u dont have to accept it. the modified aspects are emboldened.

Lara looked at the mirror and liked what she saw; her face was looking very bright and the make-up fit perfectly into her dark skin. Her bust slightly lifted her shirt[b], [/b] revealing the gold chain with a diamond pendant reflecting in the mirror. She adjusted the seat of her Honda car because she was feeling quite uncomfortable with the Chanel suit. She drove past the gate of the church in a hurry to get home, regretting her decision to come to church[b]. The [/b] message had been the same, and she felt so dry in her soul. Worst of all, Emeka (or Brother Emeka) was nowhere in sight.

Emeka had always accompanied her home after church and his absence brought a sense of loss to her. She had struggled with the decision of waiting for him which translated to two hours of dry songs and messages. She was driving unusually fast along Lekki Expressway as the air conditioning affected her judgment[b](this sentence is not clear. explain how it affects her judgement). [/b] She was lucky to get home in one piece. She hooted impatiently, expecting the security man to open the gate but after five minutes of waiting, she parked the car by the side of the road. She hurriedly walked into the compound and headed straight to the 'boys' quarters' thinking of how she was going to deal with the 'security man'. She heard an unusual moaning sound coming straight from the door of the boys' quarters, along with some pungent odour. She had opened the door, before she remembered the courtesy of knocking. Her legs became very weak as the image was very lucid; her best friend, Ene was stark naked and was lying above the naked security man. Both were lost to the present reality and seem to be enjoying themselves.

She hurriedly walked to the car and sat inside, putting her head on the dash board. She laughed hysterically at the scene she had just witnessed, though she was still in utter shock. Ene, born-again sister, spirikoko, sleeping with the security man. ( if she is thinking, italicise it) She could not help the tears that ran down face as she laughed. She quickly regained herself and wondered what could make a prayer warrior like Ene fall so low as to commit fornication. Ene was a beautiful woman and very spiritual but the scene she witnessed seemed like a dream. She quickly nudged herself to reality, thinking of how best to deal with this incident. Ene must have thought she was coming home in 2 hours time, she would never had guessed she would leave the church early enough.

Lara had never discussed her virginity with Ene though she shared a lot of herself with her. She and Ene had come a long way right from secondary school to the same university and were now working in different industries. They had joined the same bank but Lara had left the bank for a telecommunications company. They had both worked and lived in the same house in Victoria Island for 3 years now, waiting for their dream husbands. Ene had always been more principled than Lara in the Christian faith, and she had always steered the cause. Lara looked across the window, noticed Ene’s Toyota Camry and wondered why she had missed it earlier. She must have been so angry with the security guy. This was not the first time she was experiencing unusual events. In fact, this was the second. The first occurred in their university days at OAU; when she had gone for an all night service in church and left very early in order to meet with her fiancé before he left for Lagos en-route to London for Masters. He had come earlier to visit her before he took off for a 15 months program in Oil and Gas. He spent 2 days in the hotel and was leaving very early the next day to meet his appointed flight.

Lara’s fellowship organized an all-night service at one of the halls. She had left the service at 3.30 am in order to reach the hostel on time and cook for her fiancé. She had calculated the time it would take her to reach his hotel. On her way to her hostel, rain poured heavily shielding the moon; so she took solace in one of the buildings. She was shocked when she saw a figure come out of the building holding a knife. On close observation, it was a guy wearing a mask and approaching her.

” Take your clothes off” said the guy.

“Why?” She said but she was shocked with her own boldness. “I said take off your clothes” He insisted, pointing the knife in her direction. She quickly backed off and said “okay, if you want me to, but please, be gentle with me. I will cooperate.” There was a hint of smile coming from the mask. He seemed settled as she pulled off her blouse revealing her bra. She immediately pulled her skirt, then she said
"I am a Christian so I will be hurting God if I do not tell you this secret.”
“What secret?” he barked.”
"I am HIV positive” she said very slowly and convincingly. He jumped back, stood motionlessly and ran away.

She dressed up very quickly and ran to her hostel despising the rain. She got to her room and noticed that every other student was sleeping. She climbed on her bed, wrapped herself under the blanket, shivering from the shock. After 10 minutes, she recalled the event and laughed at her ingenuity. She had been saved from being raped like an animal, she wondered where the courage and lies came from but she was happy her virginity was still intact. She immediately regretted not giving her fiancé her virginity when he was piqued about it. She could not wait to tell him.

At 7.00am, she boarded a bus to town. She got the hotel and she was not too shocked to hear the fiancé had gone. The concierge handed her a piece of paper from her fiancé and written on it was;

You bitch; you want to give me HIV. The relationship is over……………,

remember it's ur story and u can do what u like, but i just gave u my personal opinion.