₦airaland Forum

Woged2005: Ok. first if you live abroad two of you should seek the services of a certified professional marriage counselor before you destroy your marriage. Lying could be pathological or habitual like smoking. They are dangerous but people get addicted to them anyway. It could also be due to fear of repercussions or feeling of insecurity if the liar feels that telling the truth will attract punishment.

Is she afraid of you? Is she worried about losing your love? Does she feel insecure in the marriage? Do you flair up and threaten her when she does some things you don't like? Are you yourself being open and honest to her to instill a mutual trust?, Is she fulfilled in the marriage? Is the financial, educational, social gap between you too wide that it looks more like a boss-servant relationship? etc

Find the cause of an illness and treat it and not just the symptom.

for me,i dont think it is fear of repercussions,or insecurity or afraid of what? etc.Somebody that was telling lies when i did not marry her but because i did not date her long and rushed into marrying her thinking such will be corrected.From my experience,telling lies(lack of trust in marriage) is very bad and can causes heart break and psychological trauma.It is never a good marriage experience.I dont know what else to do to handle this situation.

Pls what again should i do to stop my Wife from telling lies?,I need a serious advice pls.I somehow noticed this attitude during the short time we dated before marriage,thinking she will change with time.First year in marriage to second to third,now to our six year,the marriage is still facing lack of trust from my wife.This is somebody that can never tell you the truth no matter how you asked her,unless she noticed that i am 200% sure/ have proof of what i am asking her,then she has no option than to agree.If i start narrating all shocking lies she has exhibited since i got married to her,it will take several pages of this forum.I have sat her down several times and begged her to stop telling lies,she may agree at that moment that she will stop,but not to be.Last time i invited a man of God in house and complained this kind of challenge to him in the presence of my Wife,the man of God counselled us on it,which she accepted that she will work on it and make an amends,yet till today,she is still telling lies.It makes me feel angry and has drastically reduced my love over her.The one she acted yesterday made me to get much annoyed that i told her that since she has made me to loose trust on her since i married her,that today(yesterday),she MUST take an oath for me by holding an object and say some words on it,that ever since she got married to me,that she has NEVER slept with other men.She say she is a Christian and can not swear such.Please what should i do to make my wife to desist from telling lies?,Everybody knows the effect of lack of trust in marriage.Advise Pls!.

Please is this norma?. I noticed that anytime i finished making love with my wife,i will be feeling nauseating-as if i want to vomit,the whole thing will be disgusting,turning me off even looking at her after the love making.But when i have the urge,it will be as if i need it more than food as i always disturbing her that i need it almost frequently,but immediately we finished the game,i will start feeling as above mentioned.Please is it normal.Mature advice please.

All these ,i save this i save that,i hope people are telling us the truth.For example a family man of one hundred thousand naira monthly,no allowances and works in VI,and spends at least N400 to N500 daily on transport alone,caters for the family,manages to live in badore axxis of lekki,and pays a house rent of N300,000 for just a room and parlour annually.No medical allowance,housing,transport etc,all is just the one hundred thousand naira.Yet he atimes attends to his parents needs.My people lets be sincere,can this man even save anything?.Note annual accomodation is like removing or saving N25000-30,000.Transport is roughly N15,000.Breaking this further 30,000 + 15,000,you notice that this has come down to 55k monthly.Can 55k sort out atleast 90% of the above mentioned expenses considering living in lekki axxis.It is very difficult for this kind person to save.Alternatively,let somebody give me a break down on how such person can save,because i was suprised seeing people here mentioning they save 20%,30%,etc even 80 % of their salary.Thanks.

[center][/center]James and Juliet(not real names-for the purpose of this forum) were dating which later resulted to marriage that was blessed with a child.Though due to the pregnancy that resulted during their dating period,they rushed and hold the marriage instead of aborting the pregnancy,although the two agreed during the dating that they will marry each other.The marriage was held,though they lost the baby on the day of delivery.Presently they have another child.It appeared that till now(more than four years after the marriage)the dowry has not been paid due to lack of money,as they are finding it difficult to cope with the husband's little salary,let alone to save money that will pay the dowry and finish the little things that remains in the marriage rites.
However,the basic fact is that there is NO PEACE in the Union.They always have one misunderstanding or the other,no peace of mind in the union.The wife can challenge the hubby in any slight issues,likewise the hubby to the wife to the extent that most of the friends have known about their frequent misunderstanding and quarrel.Most of their quarrels can result into the husband laying hand on the wife.Wife can hardly listen to husband likewise husband to wife.The husband will tell the wife she can leave that he is fed up with this kind character and frequent quarrell.The wife has taken the husband to police stations up to three times.
The last misunderstanding they have last time in which the wife took the husband to police station,and that day before the husband will come back from work,the wife has packed all her belongings and left the house to unknown place without picking the hubby phone which she later started picking after like three weeks and d hubby reported to the people and later noticed that the people knew where she is staying.The wife later started visiting the hubby on occassional basis after like her five weeks she packed out and she had concluded with the people that the condition for her to finally return to him is until the dowry and other things are paid which the hubby accepted and fixed a time for it.Now,from cross examination it appears that each of them have a peace of mind now they are apart than when they are together and the hubby has confided to me that he is more at peace now they are apart.That he is now considering what is actualy wrong in this union for marriage is meant to bring joy and happiness.Is this union really the wish of God.is something not wrong somewhere?.How can he feel at peace now they are apart than when they are together?,should he go ahead and pay the dowry and start being again together which to him is like invitation of unhappiness or should they simply quit and each go their way?.Please advise.

James and Juliet(not real names-for the purpose of this forum) were dating which later resulted to marriage that was blessed with a child.Though due to the pregnancy that resulted during their dating period,they rushed and hold the marriage instead of aborting the pregnancy,although the two agreed during the dating that they will marry each other.The marriage was held,though they lost the baby on the day of delivery.Presently they have another child.It appeared that till now(more than four years after the marriage)the dowry has not been paid due to lack of money,as they are finding it difficult to cope with the husband's little salary,let alone to save money that will pay the dowry and finish the little things that remains in the marriage rites.
However,the basic fact is that there is NO PEACE in the Union.They always have one misunderstanding or the other,no peace of mind in the union.The wife can challenge the hubby in any slight issues,likewise the hubby to the wife to the extent that most of the friends have known about their frequent misunderstanding and quarrel.Most of their quarrels can result into the husband laying hand on the wife.Wife can hardly listen to husband likewise husband to wife.The husband will tell the wife she can leave that he is fed up with this kind character and frequent quarrell.The wife has taken the husband to police stations up to three times.
The last misunderstanding they have last time in which the wife took the husband to police station,and that day before the husband will come back from work,the wife has packed all her belongings and left the house to unknown place without picking the hubby phone which she later started picking after like three weeks and d hubby reported to the people and later noticed that the people knew where she is staying.The wife later started visiting the hubby on occassional basis after like her five weeks she packed out and she had concluded with the people that the condition for her to finally return to him is until the dowry and other things are paid which the hubby accepted and fixed a time for it.Now,from cross examination it appears that each of them have a peace of mind now they are apart than when they are together and the hubby has confided to me that he is more at peace now they are apart.That he is now considering what is actualy wrong in this union for marriage is meant to bring joy and happiness.Is this union really the wish of God.is something not wrong somewhere?.How can he feel at peace now they are apart than when they are together?,should he go ahead and pay the dowry and start being again together which to him is like invitation of unhappiness or should they simply quit and each go their way?.Please advise.

Nice advice

Please considering the fake and real thing happening in this country,one can no longer know who is fake and who is real.Please i need if any one know any REAL prophet of God that one can meet that will genuinely pass true information from God to oneself.The one when you meet him/him,will starting telling you something about yourself and it will be real and what you need to do.

But big booty no bad,me like women wit big booty.

Please i need good advice and not abusive one as though if i am the only one that cheat beacuse some people here will be claiming as if they are saints or virgins.

I used to cheat on my wife and she had discovered and caught me on many instances.I will beg her and she will forgive.Yet i keep on falling on this trap.Right now she is very very angry with me that she made something like covenant and professed that ever she has married me,that she never meet(Sleep) with any other man except me till date and that she can never do so for ever and that if she ever try it,make so so this happen to her.This was the statement she made when she brought bible and other things and profess on it as a covenant.There after she say that i should also make such statement by holding the bible as well,that she can no longer bear my infidel life style anymore,otherwise we will divorce.Honestly i dont know what to do because i am scared that if i make such covenant before her,kowing full well whom i am,i may find it difficult resisiting such temptation of tasting another food,hence i told her wait first that we will sort it out and she was very furious.My house is boiling oo.Please advise.

Hello Nlders,there are atimes circumstances like getting pregnant out of marriage etc may prompt you to go into marriage unprepared both for the man and the lady involved.Most times,this normally create financial stress,that one may find it very challenging coping finacially and meeting up with your set goals and targets compaired with your age mates or friends especially when you are not financially ok or both of you are not working.Share your exprience,challenges and how you cope with it.

Please how can a young man cope and stay away from fornication till he got married.Please advise!

You are adavanced in age with your BSC or even MSC qualifications and it seems you have been working in a company for years.It happened that some younger co workers especially ladies whom by age you are older than them by up to five years and more and some you may be in the same age bracket with them,but either by hook or crook they were not only promoted to have position or the other but also increased their salary far more than your own.Not that they are better than you or that they posses higher qualification than you,but by their power,connections,anything they use,they found themselves in that position and salary.Now it seems that these set of people will always like that you greet them first when ever you come to work.For example lets use a lady called Juliet.Juliet despite you are not only older than she in age,you also posses even higher degree than she,yet she will like that you first greet her anytime you come work or see her.Moreso she will like that you address her as "Dear Madam Instead of Dear Juliet" if you are sending mail to her.Likewise calling/anwering her Madam/Yes Madam instead of Juliet or Yes Juliet.I know of one lady in my work place who only her knows what she uses to hold the MD.She likes everybody to be worshipping her.Before you know it,she brought in her younger sister(a relation),the sister just graduated from school and was working before where they were paying her peanuts.She applied what she normally uses and convince the MD ,and before you know it the Sister was given one sensitive post with good pay.Today,she is acting exactly the same way like the elder sister,being on top of everybody and want to be greeted and addressed as i mentioned above.This type of attitude upsets me.Do you experience this in your work place and how do you go about it?

Most of the time,i used to be discouraged applying for job online advert,newspapers advert,job search etc.This is because i have summited and summited bunch of CV's for the so called job advert that i begin to ask myself whether my Cv/application do reach this people atall.In most cases,i manage to attend many aptitude test and interviews that the number of crowd i see there is very terrible.You will be told to go that they will get back to you,only to continue waiting in vain.Very annouying and discouraging.As a man,at a time i sit down and begin to think,whats all these.Most of my friends get job through who you know and direct connection that majority of them did not pass through what i m facing yet they are working in a bigger organisation and earning fat salary.I begin to reason as if i dont know what i m doing again.Some may come and write the aptitude test and interviews just to fulfil all the necessary protocol while their name had already been penciled down for the job.I am not talking from guess work,but rather from fact.I begin to see that more than 60% of employment these days is based on connection and who you know.Does it mean that to find job without knowing somebody is now a nightmare?,What of people like us that dont have people like that and such connection?.Since this is now a noraml trend,please how will i get connection that can offer me job?

Hi NL,pls can anybody give me the clue on kpmg aptitude test format.Thanks

Please NL, especially ladies,how can a man be convinced that he is good in bed when and after making love.Most times,woman may feel that you are not man enough after the game,yet they will not tell you.They may even thank and praise you,that you are all and all,and they will maintain as if you are ok,that no man is like you for this kind thing, in fact that you are strong and you(the man) will be happy and your ego will be high that you are a real man.They(women) will rather use this and make caricature of you when together with their fellow ladies,but they can never tell you.So Pls,how can a man know that he is very good in bed,especially how long he can last before expelling,because no lady will be all that happy with short time/easily expulsion men.

Fellow NL,I have been working for a particular company for more three years now.The salary is not all that enough,besides there is no much challenges in the job.When i was absorbed in the job,i was telling myself that highest one year will not pass and i will find a more lucrative,challenging and fat salary job.Behold,a year rolled away,two years followed,three years has now passed,getting to the fourth year and i m still here.As a graduate of Electrical/Electronics Engineering with experience in Information Technology(IT)--Network Adminstrator,i have searched,searched and searched for new job,yet none is forth coming.I begin to ask myself,who many people have ever got job through Newspaper advert/online application?.Most of my friends and some people i know got job through Connection/who you know/recommendation.I begin to doubt the possiblity of making it though advert/online application as i dont have such connection.You can hardly believe that i dont have any savings for those years i have been working till date.Really i m getting fed up in this job search issue.Its true many dont have what they are doing,and are moving jobless.My intention is a job that one can find,feel relaxed,and work for sometime,that u will feel that yes you have a job,plan for yourself as a man.Please is there any method one can apply again in this job search to get a better job?/who can help or guide me on what to do?