My advice is that u realize that its not size that matters all the time. some gals have confessed that it depends on how well a guy can use his magic wand that counts. some guys have it big but cant use it well. But for now, 4get about sex till u r married. Plus, go to church and pray to God to renew ur mind byt changing the way u think. one love!

pls, forgive her 4 real. Girls, we can be like that sometimes. indecisive. 4 her to come back 2 u, she certainly realized that she loves u. One thing though, let her know that she should not try something like that again. or else, she might just do it again knowing fully well that u will take her back. Just u know, do shakara 4 her small, let her know u are not that disposable, make her learn her lesson and then bring her into ur arms wit love.

Thats my best friend. why?

I have a friend who is dating this guy that cheated (with several gals) on her during the 1st yr of their relationship without her knowledge. 3 yrs later, he decided to confess to her and told her that he wont misbehave again. They have been dating now for about 4 years but she is so confused. The thing is that,she said the last two yrs of the relationship has been great. She said he finally became the guy she had always wanted. the first 1and 1/2 years were not as great according to her. but she just keeps wondering if he would revert to his old self when they r married and is just pretending now so he can marry her or maybe just being at his best behavior now until he finally locks her down(marriage). She tells me that sometimes she thinks he is the best thing that ever happened to her and the next thing she know she is thinking of meeting another guy.

what do y'all think bout this?

men, i tell u. the best way is to just pray. I was not happy with my mum. I asked her if since she was so convinced that the guy was my soulmate, why is she now saying i have not missed my hubby. Anyway, still with my babe. Thoght they(parents) still saying one thing or the other. oh the age gP IS NOT ENUF, OH HE IS NOT CATHOLIC OR NOT FROM SAME VILLAGE, MEN, WAHALA. aLL I CAN SAY IS THAT ONLY GOD CAN TELL ME WHO IS MEANT 4 ME!

WOW! BEST THREAD I HAVE EVER SEEN. . . .
I PRAY THAT I WILL PASS MY BOARD AND LAW EXAMS COMING UP REAL SOON.
I PRAY THAT I GET MARRIED TO MY SOUL MATE.
I PRAY THAT GOD HELPS MY FRIEND WITH HIS HOSPITAL BILLS.
I PRAY THAT GOD WILL GRANT PEACE TO PP HAVING TROUBLED MARRIAGES.
AND I PRAY I GET THE JOB GOD HAS DESTINED 4 ME.

Ofcourse that's not the only reason as in some cases the women are solely to blame, but you know what i'm trying to say.

If you have to share the financial things 50:50 then you have to sit down and discuss about sharing other responsibilities in the home as well. Otherwise things WILL go sour.

I am married to somebody who is not Nigerian, and though we can afford for her to stay at home and manage the kids, there are times when i come home to meet her exhausted and i do go to the kitchen and get my own food.
And yes, i do cook for the whole family some times   ,  and even do the dishes  , and NO i am not a woman wrapper  .

My wife would tell you that i am as masculine and self-assertive as can be and i can see that my 3 year old son, whom i'm bringing up to be a REAL man, is begining to recognise the respect i and love i have for his mother through my actions.

You see, i want him to grow up knowing that the relationship between a man and a woman is one of mutual respect, and that a man doesn't have to lord it over a woman, in a show of physical strength, for her to submit to his authority.

So, it's not in our culture to be inconsiderate and backward  .

The point about your insecurity, though, is something you have to deal with.
Because as long as you are insecure in the relationship and you are willing to stomach a lot of the rubbish that is thrown your way, then the status quo will remain.

I hate it when some men throw up the "tradition card"  .

I think that it's just an excuse for laziness  .
Men who continue to live as if they are still in their villages are not truly representative of  the contemporary Nigerian man.

Times are changing and real men are changing with the times.
Any man who refuses to change should go to his village and look for an Mgbeke, a servant-wife, who will worship him and bear all his children,

That's my take on the


Thanks a lot beneli.

Dont be deceived into marrying a man that feels like its ur job to take care of the kids, go to work, cook clean etc

How fair is that, tell me how fair. I will neva marry a man like that at all. thats not love at all.

As
i said b4, i am not one to live in a dirty home, if its dirty i will clean, if there is no food i will cook (i love cooking) but sometimes, A GOOD MAN WOULD ATLEAST IF NOT ANYTHING HELP WIT THE CLEANING. IF HE CANT COOK, THATS UNDERSTANDABLE BUT HE CAN HELP WITH THE COOKING IF I ASK 4 HIS HELP, HE CAN CUT ONIONS, BLEND TOMATOES, PREP THE INGREDIENTS 4 ME. HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THAT, THATS IF I ASK HIM TO! IF HE REFUSES TO, I WILL NOT NAG, BUT, I CAN GUARANTEE THAT WE WOULD HAVE A NICE DISCUSSION ABOUT HOW IT MAKES ME FEEL!!!!!!

THATS WAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT. SHARING AND COMPROMISE.

i dont concur. thats not fair at all. In the same bible, women did not work, they were house wives. Things are different now. They both work so he should HELP!!! I hate it when niger men bring up the fact that it is in the bible but look at it from the angle favouring them. Gosh!!! she works too!!!! A loving husband actually from the bibles perspective will help the wife! I am not saying he should do it all or that the lady shud not cook, all i am saying is that since they live in the same house together, he should help with the cleaning and cooking. Now thats a LOVING husband!!!!!

Some people on this forum just keep asking the poor girl if she would rather him be without a job. Its not either one or the other. Just bcuz u need to make some dough does not in anyway mean that u would have to completely abandon ur family or not atleast acknowledge the fact that ur significant other has a point when she says she misses u or wants to spend some time with u. u should be flattered sef that she wants to be wit u, wat if she neva complained and just started looking 4 attn somewhere else bcuz trust me girls do need attn and if she finds it somewhere else, she might just take it. Life is not all about work. Now am not saying the guy should not be hard working or pursue his dreams and i am not also saying that the girl should not try to compromise at least 4 a little while while he realizes his dream, afterall, what is a relationship without compromise, all i am saying is that a balance should be established btw work and home. Or else, when he decides to pay her some attn, it may be tooo late to salvage the relationship!

update

the so called destined husband of mine just got married. hmm. . . . i wonder wat this means. . . . .

@ getchinenye
thanks for the okpa recipe

wat about the AMD processors, are they good? how do they compare. i have been putting off buying a laptop too cuz i dunno wat to buy.

A Story:

A man came down the subway and saw a beggar asking for food. He had about a dozen bagels with him and he gave two to the beggar.

As he continued on his journey, he looked back and to his amazement, saw the beggar calling his fellow beggar and gave him one of the bagels.

He was astonished. He began to wonder, how can a beggar, instead of saving the bagel for next time, still be so generous as to share the only food he possesses.

He wondered, how many things has God given me in the past and how have I thanked him for it?

That was his turning point. He became born again and now he is a deacon in the church.

The meassage I got (Different messages to be learnt but this is the one i got) - Our lives should be our testimony. Its not just preaching with our tongues, but, you can change a lot more people by the way you live and love them than by your word of mouth.

how did u mistakenly cheat? I dont understand how that is done mistakenly and not knowingly. . .

pls does any one know how to make okpa? pls post recipe oh. Thanks

1.God fearing - cuz then he will be a man of principles, honest and stuff.
2. Very suppotive of me (ambitions and so on)
3. Ambitious and dependable.

all i have to say is that, it depends on the guys motive. If he goes back home to marry a girl bcuz he thinks he can overpower the babe or bcuz he wants a submissive wife, some one he can control or 4 wateva reason in that line of thought if u get my drift, then he will be in 4 a big shock bcuz, when those ladies get here they will definitely (100%) be affected by the culture, no doubt about it and they will change one way or the other.

But when u marry a girl here, wat u see is wat u get kindoff and there is no room 4 shock or dissapointments if u did ur homework well.

Unlike wit going home to get married, no matter how good the girl is, culture change is inevitable.

If u disagree, ask those who went home to get married, they will tell you. I am not saying that the girls start running wild, all i am saying is that there will defintely be a change in behavior.

peace.

men, sorry oh. please take heart. e go beta. Time will heal this one, Trust God!

Hmm, I can honestly tell you never to buy a dell unless you have a minimum of 4 years warranty on that computer and seeing that you are in nigeria, i dont know how u would send ur comp to them 4 repairs and i dont know if they offer that service 4 those outside the states.

I have a dell laptop computer and i treat it with care but i have had to change the motherboard 4 times (thank God i have warranty for 4 yrs) plus a friend of mine has a dell just sitting in his house now, his 2 yr warranty expired and his mother board just went bad, guess how much he has to pay to fix it, about $450 dollars. so pls, i definitely dont think dell is the way to go. There is just something fragile about their mother board not to talk of other problems i have had with that my laptop.

Compaq, is ok i heard. HP also. My sister has a toshiba and she seems to have no major problems with it, but if i were you, i wud go with HP or Compaq

just my 2 cents.

@katherinae
Thank u so much 4 your kind words. after reading your reply, i just felt like u calmed down and wrote from your hearrt like u really cared about my situation. I am glad there is someone that understands my actions and my predicament. It felt like u were my sister from another mother or sth  .
u are right, i was happy the way my guy responded. We have rededicated ourselves to God because we know that if we put HIM first he would bless us.

I will defintely keep u guys posted as new things come up.

I wish u the best in your relationship too. i hope everything goes well

thanks again  !

PS

and ur dads quote: GENIUS. i will hold on to that one 4 life!

thanks jgirl, finally somebody that understands. me.

Posted by: davidylan
Insert Quote
honestly, you don't love your boyfriend at all! If you did this issue should not even come up for discussion at all. It's like you "love" the relationship you have with your BF, you don't want to let go because u're not sure you will meet someone else who will sacrifice and be as patient as he has been with your senseless gerrymandering. On the other hand you are covetously eyeing the other doctor based simply on the fact that you don't want to pass on the chance of living a good life with plenty of money.

Sit yourself down first, it is not all about prayer and fasting. sometimes the answer is right there under our noses but out of greed and impatience we fail to see it. Thoe who are truly led by the spirit of God have a focus, they are not unecessarily bothered by suspicious "prayer warriors".

I beg to differ. I love my boy friend and He would tell you the same. He knows i love him. I am just a very meticulous person and can be indecisive or easily confused at times. But i think with time i will get it.

thanks

Thank you all so much

Yes, i have decided not to base my decision on what the prayer warrior said but to pray on my own and see what God says to me. I and my BF have decided to fast and pray together about this. I just feel sad 4 making my BF having to go through all this. I wonder how i would have felt if i was on the other side of this boat.

Nonetheless, It is still very important that we pray about this. I love the relationship i have with my BF. I find myself thanking God for finally blessing me with someone that really cares about me and does anything for me. Its like a dream come true 4 me to be with my guy.

But i hear so much about marriage that I really don't want to make a mistake. You hear so many stories it just keeps u on your toes that you really don't wanna make a mistake. Basically, I am scared of that institution 4 real

That is why we have decided to pray and fast about it and gush my BF is so supportive, interested, willing, patient about this issue. He is priceless. I don't want to lose him at all.

God dey!

just keep the advice coming plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thanks

@ radiant
you are very right. thats y i say i dont know him well enuf. hmm . . . i know that wit God on my side, i will make the right decision

because he goes 2 church everyday and when we talked in 2005 he always prayed at the end of our conversations. plus, he is alwayz wit his bible and prayer stuff (like when he came 2 visit). he always talks about God. He is a gospel singer, he has a gospel CD out. idunno.

we don't live in the same state sha so. . .

@ mikowen

WHY? IF I MAY ASK. . .

LadyT:

I wish you could answer WHY you had other names on the list?

Surely you cannot be surprised that he was not chosen if you yourself kept your options open and added other names

As i said previously, just bcuz i have a BF does not mean i dont have other suitors, just like any other girl, abi girls no be so? But you know marriage is not dating or even courtship. I am a true believer that God knows wats best 4 me so i try to listen to him always and make sure i am not blocking any one out. I just think its wiser that way. I dont know that other guy at all. spoke to him last in 2005. all i know is that he is a good xtian, (according to him, but i think its true), goes to the same church as i do, he is a doctor here in the US, he is 32 and he is from the same state with me thats all. I know nutin else.

Well, lets see wat God says. Cuz He is the only one that knows the future.

Thanks to u all once again. you guys are really helping me put things into perspective.

well, thanks to all of your opinions. i really appreciate it.

peace2all:

If you have a BF of 3 years that you love so much, how come there were other people on the list
you gave your mum?

I did that bcuz she said i should list all the pp interested in me [/i]on the list. Bcuz i don't keep anything from my BF he was very pissed when i told him about the list thing. He said there should have been no list at all.


Hmm. . .  honestly, i thought the same thing too when she told me that other guy was chosen. That guy is our family friends nephew and i think my parents may be trying to manipulate me, but i never thought they would do such. what a shame. Now i wish my parents knew about my BF all along.

Lush:

[i] , in the end time, many will come in my stead , Whats stopping you from praying and asking God if he's the one? Why let these prayer warriors do the praying and decision making for you? You've been seeing him for 3 years and you can't find something you don't like, and you're shedding tears when he's the perfect person for you. Damn girl, i don't know about you but i aint listening to no prayer warriors to come tell me how to handle my business The fact that they even accept money (which they claim is for church building) is enough to stop me from even writing out a list of possible suitors (thats even if i were to listen to the preposterous request in the first place

i am not sure if they took money from my mum oh. do they usually do that?

Prayers Warriors Say My Boyfriend Aint "the One"

Hmm. This one pass me oh!

Here it goes: I have dated this guy for 3 years plus and we sincerely love each other dearly. We have been there for each other, through thick and thin. I mean, I can't even completely explain.

Now, i am about to graduate and my mum comes to visit me in the states and she says i should give her a list of all my suitors so she can take it to all these prayers warriors so they can see which one of them is my husband to be. I gave her 3 names (ofcourse my BF's name was #1). Now she just called me and said that my BF is not the one and that some other guy on the list is. Now this so called guy had already went to my parents to ask 4 my hand in marriage but my dad told him to wait until i had graduated from school.

i have been crying since because i just can't believe my BF aint the one. And then stupid me i told my BF and now he is devastated.

Hmm, please i need your advice. I have been praying that God's will be done in my life. I can't understand this at all.

What do I do now?

okay. . . wateva!