₦airaland Forum

ihedinobi2:
Actually no, I don't see that. I see Job's wife. And I promise you she's probably my least favorite woman in the whole Bible.

I actually care more about the man here. In fact, I don't care about the woman at all. It's because he is in doubt of himself that I made that suggestion. He needs to discover himself and the definition of a man is in what he can do in the face of odds.

When he has got the clear identity he needs he can decide what to do with her. Until then she's not his problem. That's what I think.

Fair enough

No problem


Guess we see things from different angles

You see a woman who is lashing out to make her man step up in her own words

I see an ungrateful choleric woman who got a luanchpad to set herself up from her phlegmatic hubby's efforts and now tramples on him

He now believes her words about him and now deprecates himself

You all talk of business business

What if the business fails as 80 percent does
He should wait until success before he takes charge of his home?

No problem


Ihedinobi2

netotse:
@Pickabeau1
If(emphasis on the IF) the money was a gift then he has absolutely no rights to impose himself on the business, she has to be the one to permit him. Banks don't give gifts, they give loans, that was why I asked. If you want to be able to control something, don't give it out as a gift.

if the captain of a ship does not set a course, why should he complain about the path it takes?That said, sometimes to regain control you need to steer in the direction of the storm/disturbance not against it.

The biz has not failed so far with the wife running it, has it? I agree with you on the submission part but where we part ways is how the fella should go about it. Taking the businesses from her will not solve what I think is the major issue in their relationship, he is not living up to his position as head. The woman has turned into what she is in some part due to frustration, If the only problem they had was that she was rude, disrespectful etc I'd suggest that her wings be clipped but that isn't the case here. Homie is 37 and does not have a vision for his family...we need to remember that.

An important aspect of leadership is knowing when to be forceful and when to be tactful, as TV01 said, he first needs to up his status in order to win her back, you can't do this with agidi, it has to be with the guile of a lover/toaster, he has to worm his way back into her heart. A woman isn't a mule to be broken, she is to be coaxed. He has to show her why she believed he could look after her and the future offspring. That is what makes him a leader.

OK......it may work
This dream killer is a bit of work


Alutacontinua
Chika for what?

They have their myriad threads

Pls leave them and this thread out of it

ihedinobi2:
I would rather not repeat the whole thing I wrote again. My point is that you start a family because you have a responsibility. The woman is meant to help you fulfill that responsibility. The children are meant to expand that responsibility. Thus, much that has been said that pretty much makes the man a little apart and the woman less of a vital part of his destiny is quite wrong. A woman's job is to help a man fulfill the responsibility for which society itself exists at all.

OK....cool

bukatyne:
This is All you got from my post?

Good night.

Until you realise that ambition is subjective, you never start

Our President was not an ambitious man yet he is where he is

bukatyne:
Imagine Mr. A and Mr. B who entered an org at graduate trainee/entry level.

A aspires to be a CFO and does certifications, attend seminars, read wide, put his best in his job and always seek to improve on his deliverables

B is content with his level and drift from level to level as tbe compamy deems fit.

Both will be able to provide for their families.

So does that mean A will become CFO?

What if B ambition is to provide for his family and be a dancer or dramatist

Why judge another by your own standards

I blame our economy hat has led to monetisation of values and our quest for certificates

ihedinobi2:
I'm sorry. I was writing in parts. The answer is in the latest installment. In short, it is not for the improvement of the society itself. It is for the improvement of the world that that society lives in and interacts with.

Yes

But it starts with the basic unit.. Family

The big picture you r talking of is noted too

bukatyne:
Providing is on one end, ambitions is on another.

Not All men have ambitions even If they provide

What does ambition mean
How do you say a man has no ambition..

Because he does not hustle n bustle

Ihe

All you have said is what has been said

Set a generation for the improvement of that society

Or am I not getting what you don't agree with?

pazienza:
Arsenal would still finish 4th. Wenger would always guarantee that. His 8milla job is on the line, like a true parasite,he would deliver that 4th place to stay with the host Arsenal FC.

Last time he was pushed to the brink by Everton,yet he survived. Nothing can separate Wenger from his precious 4th place. *grins*


Why should Wenger buy Wanyama, when Flamini the world best DM was free for transfer? *grins*

The fourphy is assured

pazienza:
Midway through last season, it was obvious that Chelsea and Mourinho needed a world class striker, a dependable DM,and a creative midfielder. There was equally a little case of looking for a quality understudy for Azpilicueta who had displaced Ashley cole in the first team.

What did mourinho do? He brought in Matic, Fabregas,Costa and Felipe luiz, no penny pinching, just direct business. What is the result? Chelsea tops the EPL. This is how ambitious managers think.


Arsenal was a world class striker,DM and central defender short of winning the EPL,
What did wenger do?

Buy a rookie tennager, Chambers, bought Welbeck, and brought in no replacement for Vermaelen.

Result: Arsenal would still finish 4th,exactly where we were before the arrival of Ozil and Sanchez.

So where is the improvement?

you nailed it

I also believe that arsenal would come 4th behind united

But this southampton team looks like they will not fizzle

If they weather this storm of injuries against Newcastle, Swansea and QPR.. then u have to really really start watching them for no 4

Can you imagine this same wenger was offered wanyama

Lol

debosky:
Please show me the defending Yaya does when Fernando and Fernandinho were bought to do the dirty work for him.

I thought you knew better.

No DM since Vieira eh? What next? No CB since Campbell? No winger since Pires?

Wake up!

Yaya used to seat in the early days before Fernando n dinho

Remember when they used to bring Barry in to let him rove forward

He also used to seat in Barca


Who r the DMs...that Arsenal have had


Quality ones

Denilson? .
Puhleeze..


I'm awake....can I say the same..?

Timbuktou:
Actually, I argue to educate other brothers who are interested in the truth but are on the fence.

Ok

Cool

This metrosexual,90s man crap has caused confusion

Bro..no need arguing with someone who does not believe in male headship
You should know the proponents of fluid family roles by now



Timbuktou

Timbuktou:
Of course, imagine a scenario where the neighbourhood doctor was a thin, powerless fellow who got killed over a virgin he intended to keep. It was in their interest to be civilised.

True that

Timbuktou:
Note, I said 'in summary'. He first has to realise what nature demands. Does he know, for example, that familiarity breeds contempt? His case is so extensive that he literally needs a counsellor to steer this ship aright

He needs a year, at least to set things right. I seriously doubt he has the drive or strength to execute the plan required to preserve his home. My brother, that guy needs major work, I no go lie.

Lol..i agree..major work

netotse:
Was the money a gift or a loan? Did they discusskeeping records or splitting profits before the businesses were set up? I would say he lets her keep the businesses (let it serve as an incentive for him to up his game). Trying to assert control over them now will simply turn into a case of reaping (or trying to reap) where you did not sow.

What if the biz fails
Remember headship is not based on providence

If she cannot submit to his authority even if she is the business brain...the relationship is a no brainer

Not every business succeeds
Not every one is cutout to be an entrepreneur

This woman was given a launchpad to realise her dreams yet envy and strife is causing her to lose focus


Even a bank will collect interest...mind you

Timbuktou:
I agree, though, not all. Also, there'd have been minimal development, a thing the male mind cannot stand. All the originators of marriage had to do was observe their contemporaries having short life spans for silly reasons.

Yep..i agree

There were of course other reasons

Imperialist tribes who conquered them
Drought
Famine
Disease

Lol

Timbuktou:
TV01, Pickabeau1:

My thoughts on NiceGuy's situation in summary:
1. Daddy was always away, most likely doing business or managing estate.
2. Had an over-sheltered, smothered childhood. His instincts for adventure and space domination have been severely dulled.
3. Has a fanatsy outlook to life which reality doesn't match.
4. His wife is jealous of his lack of need to work for self-preservation.
5. Probably never loved him and only married him for money.
6. He needs to have an office outside the home where he does work. He doesn't have to break rocks to be considered hard-working.
7. Needs to do less at home, not nothing. Needs to leave wifey to perform her home duties.

This just skirts the issue


There is a battle on the horizon

He either faces it now or wait till she's so strong and leaves him

Timbuktou:
It was, basically, a booty grab. The strongest got all the pum he wanted by just going after. Violence over booty was the norm and in the interest of peace and longevity, civility was introduced, marriage was established as a means of possession(because the woman couldn't protect herself) and boundary-marking.

I put it to you that until such a framework or due process was setvup
, such warlike societies died out from too much infighting

Do you agree

naijababe:
Yes!

I don't understand these wengerpologists

They whine everyday yet go to collect more pain watching the impotent football served up every matchday

2 DMs..i laugh in incredulity
Wenger has not had a DM since pato left

The closest thing to it was flamini in his first incarnation and then song who he told after one good season to still play as an advanced CM


He just tinkers and tinkers...

Why I don't know...

Arteta Plus flamini equals half of vieira

The closest guy now to him is yaya

Spy360:
You are despicably wrong. What Arsene changed was his formation from two DMs and two forwards to one for each position. Again your comparisons do not match apart from Matic-Vieira.
Check through EPL you will see Arsene's handwork and that includes Chesea's Cesc, Man Utd's van Persie and Man City's Nasri.

So what is despicable wrong in my post..huh

You just want to oppose and made no riposte about my statement on pace and power

Wenger brought Nasri from Marseille..yes
What was the point
He's a great developer or scout?

pazienza:
Wenger guarantee's profit, Kroenke is a business man and not a football fan, he and the board won't sack Wenger.

Wenger himself is a greedy arrogant fox, for a man who hates spending money on quality players, he has no problem with the club paying him a staggerim 8milla per annum, while managers of teams with expensive squads earns lower. Wenger won't leave Arsenal anytime soon, he made it clear that he wasn't

You are not off point

debosky:
No two seasons are the same, but it doesn't take a sooth sayer to see that injuries in general have robbed the first team of the consistency they had up to this point last year. It's also no surprise that the top team with the fewest injuries happens to be leading the pack right now.

Whether Wenger is the man for the club is the wrong question - the club as a whole/its owner needs to state its aims and aspirations and then assess the manager's performance against them.

Political as ever..
While your first statement is true however the continuous presence of defensive naiveté and poor organization/shape shown over the last five years pokes a hole in it.

Second statement.. True
He has been successful for d club
The targets are clear

Top 4
Decent cup run
He achieves it

e

TV01:
...read again with emphasis on the bold.
I didn't say he shouldn't, I said he shouldn't start with that - she will just see it as an ego driven "land grab", and likely respond with fire.

TV

Hmmm....I saw it

For me I see a Lady with a mouth like this seeing it as a competition

She has the funds... She will not let it go..she may even leave the household..

Better the battle now than a subtle war of attrition

No problem

TV01
Bellong
Crackhaus
timbuktou
Nonso23

A brother here needs help

L2CD766:
i am a male. I have trust issues which I think follows my male self esteem........ I have never really experienced male headship 'cause I grew up with a mom and 6 elder sisters; Never attended church.

OK..welcome once again


Well for me practically..I would recommend modelling

Uncles or father figures who you respect and show a life you will like to live


Also stick around here and ask questions on any issue

You need to know your capabilities, identify what you want in life and your woman, be futuristically inclined as per legacy
Take time to know thyself
"Self awareness is the key to self mastery'
Recognise you have authority within you
Be confident in yourself

Google this..

1.self mastery
2. Assertive communication

Aspire to know more daily.


Ask questions Here too

Others can answer

cococandy:
He said it himself. That he has not interest in doing anything.
So he lays on the couch all day?
Where's he providing from?
Family handout from mommy?


Lack of ambitions means what it means. No foresight, no plans, no future put into consideration.

If mommy dies tomorrow,that will be the end of it all seeing as he can't even sell okrika to save his life.

He had 20million to start up a business,what did he do? Gave it to his wife most likely because he had no interest in working to make profit from the money. The rest of the 10million he paid debts(why was he in debt since he's from a rich family) probably because he'd rather borrow than make profit from what he has.

He could have made it a family business and put down his feet to demand accountability from wife but he just let her get away with doing whatever she wanted with the profits.

I don't want to blame him but it is what it is.
He has opportunity to do anything he wants to do but won't because his wife doesn't approve.

Come on

This doesn't excuse his wife's behavior anyway before someone will get me wrong.

By i'd rather he does something with his life instead of blaming his wife.

I agree with you on having asked for accountability

He is not sitting around

He is a facility manager..do you think that is easy work?

You may be too reading too much into his own statements about how laid beck he is

He may just be a steady man...calculating but maybe easily discouraged

debosky:
Na you dey do comparison not me. I'm not looking for 'the team of 2004'. All I want is a team that can be competitive considering today's realities given the resources available to Arsenal Football Club.

You're in dreamland if you think there will ever be a repeat of the time when Arsenal picked up three players of the calibre of Henry, Bergkamp and Vieira for peanuts because they were disillusioned in Italy.

OK..

So is this team competitive

How come this team has seemingly strengthened yet is worse off than the same time last year

Do you think Wenger is still the man for the club

L2CD766:
hmmm..... I grew up in a single parent household, No dad, and yes i am highly relationship-dysfunctional. Any outline of methods to assuage this psycho-sociological complex?

Welcome..are you male or ffemale

Do you have an issue with trust?

Do you believe in male headship

Good debate guys


For me I still believe he is the one putting himself down

TV
Why do you think he should not demand accountability from the businesses
And saying he should have a comparable platform to show his wife
Is it a competition

Netotse..I see you too

cococandy

what does lack of ambition mean

This man is a good provider yet he lacks ambition