₦airaland Forum

I dont totally agree with all your findings

From his own words, he is self disparaging - Maybe a fucntion of the evil words the woman is saying

However i feel it is a temperament - he seems to be a phlegmatic while she seems to have a choleric bent with a dash of nastiness and disrespect

He seems not to be an aggressive fellow but is a good provider and has a measure of financial intelligence not just in the way she wants


Going back to my earlier question

What are the practical unworldly way to stabilise things

TV01:
It's first and foremost about him and what his lack of pro-activity is engendering in her (although I note she has some not very wifely/selfish behaviour according to him).

The actions and more so the consequences depend heavily on how socialised they both are. As Explained earlier, how much religious, ideological or cultural imperatives shape their responses. That overlays the hypegamy she is clearly demonstrating.

If for example divorce is out of the question for her due to socialisation, she will continue to “run him down”. The flip side is that he has more time to rectify things and she has more motivation to let him.

If it’s not, she may well be making her move as we speak. It’s pertinent that she has 3 thriving businesses for which she does not render account – what is happening to the proceeds?

If he becomes redundant as a provisioner it could trigger her move. With CWS no longer provided by him and SP no longer a big deal – in any event for SP to be in best effect, attraction needs to be working, and his loss of status, and more pertinently her consequent disrespect, means she won’t be feeling him. He doesn’t mention it, but I somehow doubt they are swinging from the chandelier with any kind of regularity.

I won’t go back to pre-marriage or marriage, or even the seed money he provided - what is done is done and I’d advise with the understanding that the idea is first to stabilise things.


TV

debosky:
Matic in two life times can never lace Vieira's boots - these comparisons are way off base.

Wenger has left guile and pace eh? One would think it was George Graham that signed Alexis or tried to sign Suarez.

Matic is not Vieira now
If he is lucky with injuries and consistent, he has the potential to make the 4 spot his and be renowned for it

there is a measure of guile and pace with Sanchez yes but no power like the Invincibles

Even you cant push that

Look at that team

Pires
Henry
Pato
Ljungberg
Ray P
Bergkamp
Kanu


Look at the class of 2014...

TV01:
So, take a woman out and tell here where you are going. Simple. It may seem “equalist to take her to the strip or ask her to choose a restaurant or negotiate where you will go. But she’s likely thinking indecisive, he’s making me think too much instead of relax and enjoy etc. Not to say you can’t ask at times or give options (limit them to 2 sha!). Whatever thier ideological leanings - they typically respond to the same cues.

I agree. Women like men to take charge
The secret is to suggest things that give a sense of inclusion yet your agenda is fulfilled ultimately
The sense of involvement is key to women

Even if the choice is between life and death, they dont want to feel they did not have an input in choosing life

Don’t forget, women are constantly revaluing, comparing and re-positioning. If your status should change, it will have an impact, if hers does likewise. It’s easy for men to get comfortable once they have sealed the deal. Women on the other hand are always perusing the terms and conditions.

This is so true
Morals has helped to curb this innate instincy.. however

If she isn’t heavily socialised to value commitment, fidelity etc. negative changes can have serious consequences. Even if she is largely socialised or restrained – she will most likely not be content.

You have heard the “you can change your mind even at the altar – just go with your heart” maxim proclaimed on this forum. Some women can do that at any point – married or not!


TV

LOL
Thats why some of them dont see anything with multiple suitors

3cycle:
Congrats to them.
The guy is really huge below

A dividend of his height

How u

He is signing for the next manager
Yes
However that next manager is still HIM

Arsen e al

Wenger Till 2025

TV01:
So she’s falling out of love, and you double up on comfort, it won’t work. She needs re-assurance and you are forming dominant bad-boy, she won’t be happy. It’s what this guy is going through;

https://www.nairaland.com/2096633/wife-user-advice-please#29843689

He's lost status in his wife's eyes (if he ever had it) and she's starting to consider him not worthy. Doubling up on comfort; giving her stuff, pleading etc. will just exacerbate the situation and make her rspect him less. He needs to demonstrate more status.

Clear?

TV

I agree 100 percent at the bolded. She does not respect him and i will not be surprised she is preparing for or has a lover

In the old days... you could send them home for retraining

In these days of trying to comply with till death do us part and trying not to rock the boat for peace, one may need to accept some pain.

Now the question is this: what can one do to this woman practically

One is tempted to withdraw all her priviledges and maybe send her home for a while


MrNiceGuy79

Arsene Wenger's collecting of Europe's best teenage talent continues.

Viktoria Plzen's 15-year-old striker Martin Graiciar reveals on Facebook that he is heading to London to for a medical.

The Gunners apparently beat competition from Real Madrid to sign the youngster.

MrNiceGuy79:
Rosarie, what if I told you that I never wanted to move into that expensive house? I begged her to allow us to stay in my rented house which I was paying 100,000 Naira and receive rent from the new house of almost 400,000? She flatly refused and made us move into a house that honestly wasn't of our class (yet). Let me also add that out of that 10m I gave my mum about 1.5m and my bro about 500,000. I also gave my wife a further 250,000. I also had to pay her father 250,000 that SHE had borrowed from him. I also spent some on our new baby who was born that year etc etc. I didn't waste the money my dear. I haven't told the full story.

Dude... its enough

No need to justify yourself to strangers

Take charge of your home, your finances and your family

LOL...


The females here did not read that the woman's seed capital was from the man

Women and entitlement choi

OP

Your wife is not only a user but a dream killer
As advised, start your own buisiness and move it up
You should let her start giving account of her businesses to you
Let her start getting more involved with the domestic bills

LordReed:
I love binging on brighter grammar, it keeps the juices flowing and exercises the grey matter.

OK..carry on

naijababe:
I think this
Parlour - Cesc
Bergkamp - Hazard
Henry - Costa
Agree with Matic/Viera comparison.

Its alright also
The thing is that they showed guile, pace and power

LordReed:
I don't want to answer the question so get the mods to ban me.

Its a very simple question and will take less effort than your brighter grammar binge

naijababe:
You can tell how long some fans have been supporting Arsenal, those who started under Arsene just after our first double have some morbid attachment to the man and those who started during the invincibles era want that feat replicated and they have been calling for his head for the last 4 years.

The rest of us gave him a chance until 2013 when it became apparent that he had completely lost the plot, it took Man U thumping us 8-2 for the man to come to his senses and what did he do, he bought scraps hours before the close of the transfer window! He will never change unfortunately, football has evolved past his methods. Everybody don sabi hin joker, make the man waka abeg!!!

I saw the light when the team could not even win Carling Cup aganst b'ham - a team that was relegated that year
He has lost touch with modern footballing techniques and reality

All teams know his methods now..

He has sacrificed his love for pace and power for eyepleasing wishy washy pass pass footie
Chelsea now plays like the Arsenal of old - A DM with power,a forward with guile and a forward with pace

read for Vieira - Matic
Bergkamp - Cesc
Henry - Hazard

So can you answer the original question rather than perambulating


Do you believe once a cheat; always a cheat

simple

LordReed:
5minsmadness makes no reference to other misdeeds in his op so he definitely is referring to cheating (which is what his post is all about). Whether future tense or past tense is irrelevant to it, cheating is not a mistake.

naijababe:

I am tired of 70 minutes substitutions

freecocoa:
Your business.
All I see is blah blah blah.

You r a bad person for only seeing that...
Maybe I should wish you out of this world

Spy360:
Lets do a weighing on Arsene using Sundays game with Man City.

If Arsenal loses, then its over for Arsene, he should go.
If its a draw, then Arsene should go
If Arsenal wins, then Arsene should go

Corrected

Mynd44:
If he had accepted that it is not a "mistake", this won't have dragged this long but he kept on coming with reason and his running to the dictionary just to defend himself just made it more fun for me

Lol

adanduka:
Please learn how to critique nicely.
There are better ways to make your point.
Eg: Very nice project/ idea
Good pictures too! You can make them sharper.
Would love to see more spontaneous shots. Following...

Dude....you said exactly what I said in a verbose manner

LoL

5minsmadness:
And this was the idea of the whole trend, it's the same myndd that turned it into a mistake /not mistake saga.


Meanwhile, you said he is male. Have you seen mynnd in person?

You guys r just having fun
I'm sure you both know what u r saying

freecocoa:
Excuse me biko, where did I mention death? That they be taken away from this world, do you know if I meant they should be given their own world?

I'm glad you recognize that it is a wish, where's the crime in wishing that this world be devoid of bad people? Ogbeni dey your lane abeg, I don't have time for any rubbish this morning and yes it might be online but I've dealt with people like this woman in the real world, they will be killing you while pretending to be your friend, nonsense.

As usual the typical online bravado

You wish someone should leave this world and say that is not equal to death then talk spiel about multiverses...

Ok

Yes the woman did bad
Maybe the marriage is over
Its not enough to wish her death as you don't even know the full story

Now you wish the world to be devoid of bad people
Are you good

"There is no one that is good; save GoD" -

Guess you know the good ones that should live in your world...LOL

Mynd44:
The guy believes every man would go along with him that you can have sex by "mistake"

I think you guys are just having fun

In the real sense its not a mistake but what is being said not all cheats are unrepentant

Now the tolerance level seems to be individual

5minsmadness:
Myndd is a she! Don't be deceived. Have you ever seen his picture? Heard his voice? All the time i called him she, has she ever corrected me? Have you read her posts since she joined Nairaland?

Myndd is a she Jo until disproved by pictures


Cc nonso23

He is male

EnlightenedSoul:
Neither was mine. If you re-read my comment, you'll realize that I was speaking in general terms. There's absolutely no point in carrying out such a deception - I know my way to the exit.

What I meant to convey is that I deserve all the judgement placed on me regarding my actions towards the wronged individual based on their own perception, and values. And everyone has their palate. There's no 'redemption' in cheating for me, that's not to say you won't get your 'redemption' elsewhere.

And yes, if you steal from me, I will know you for the thief that you are. Even if you somehow get help with the problem, my image of you has been marred in that respect, and as a result, I will not leave my nice things around you. That's just good sense on my part.

OK...

freecocoa:
Okay, that's well within your rights, I, however, wish people like her would be all taken away from this world, the world would be a better place.

Do you understand the import of this your post
That she be dead?
Because you wish it?

Are you god

Are you perfect?

On top online matter.....

dmcdad:
SHOCKER!!! Athletico in front! Fernando Torres!

It's game over!

Second goal

Its gonna be a long night


TORRES 2 goals

5 2 agg

safarigirl:
last I checked, being an asset is a good thing...anyway tis not my concern, I'm not looking to get married

OK...no problem
Its a free world

Your current mien is more enjoyable than your previous one which was very controversial sort of

Enjoyed the discourse

safarigirl:
lol...you should discuss this with a lecturer of mine who's of the opinion that if you're going to come take away the person who cooks, cleans and does a sizable amount of housework at least drop as much as she's worked...his words not mine.

Still goes back to my initial premise
That women are assets to be bargained over and they have no say

I'm giving you an asset that will give you babies and cook for

Pay me for the loss of this asset

safarigirl:
it remains disadvantageous to some extent. There are worse traditions than the dowry, it's hardly an issue IMO.

How does a daughter leaving her father to marry disadvantage the father

Which traditions are worse

Please don't say FGM or widow stuff

Those r barbaric...no need for discourse

safarigirl:
I lean more toward the male folk than females. Do I think it should be proscribed? No. Do I think the amount spent should be reduced, by all means yes.

It's a tradition rooted in times when women leaving a clan were seen as disadvantageous to her clan hence compensation

These are modern times