LINTUNE:
. obviously not all traditions are feasible in this era...perhaps, if the tradition favours women, you will see it as good?..in the western world and some developed countries , femincentric legislations are made to encourage misandry, hypergamy etc..I'm sure you won't see those laws as barbaric or bias..

pocohantas:


Men are their own enemies.

I am sure when they stayed and agreed to be paying “bride price” abi huge marriage list, they forgot that someone like Buhari would be a democratic president. They also never foresaw that $1= N478 or graduates would turn 31 without stable jobs.

Now that the economy is choking them and restricting their airflows, they are now forming online bro-code and looking for imaginary feminist that will go stop a practice they put in place for their own ever-needy-ego.

You’ll still see same charlatans insulting other Nigerian tribes that are civil enough to conduct marriages like what it is- the coming together of two consenting adults, not an empowerment program.

That gender can never be understood.

If not that God is all knowing, they almost confused Him when He asked a simple question in the Garden of Eden.

Eleru gberu e ooo



Na their way na. Cry when e choke them.

They na want to put the burden of ROI on us. We no send them message o. Lmao!

LordOfTheGame:


He didn't mention anywhere in the post that he's Igbo. So, why are trying to drag the great Igbo race into this?

MartinsD12:

And you think you are upholding tradition by supporting lies posted here, first lie 300k can never be bride price, second bride price is never shared by the elders bride price belongs to the parents of the bride, third bride price can never be collected nor shared to the brother or sister to the bride, if you know what culture and traditions is you won't be arguing any further, what is posted here it's no culture but a Twitter cruise.

pocohantas:


Uncles...

We have “compounds” consisting of these uncles who are from the same forefather that definitely married numerous wives. These wives gave birth to sons, their sons married and gave birth to more sons. So the family tree kept growing and forming “elders”.

They always know the eldest and special recognition is given to him.

bluskyee:
You are changing the subject!

SmartyPants:


You know he was joking about the evil forest part. But let me ask you, is this example typical of how it works? No it is not!

But even at that, still using your example, your point is defeated because at the end of the day, the primary intended beneficiary was the brides' mother, a woman. The implication is, the mother was happy with it. The girl was happy with it. No one resisted it. Because women have always been happy with the institution.

Therefore, as I posited, bride price was never an exclusively male creation. It was always a joint societal creation, and it is one whose extinction is primarily resisted by women today.

armyofone:
Fear factor have finished Nigerians. You no do marriage like this, like that, then you no go born - why won't someone come reap where they didn't sow.

I say girl take your marriage planning into your own hands and have a say where everything should go.
All the food and stuff collected should go to the bride.
Then she can do distribution or take everything with her to her new home.

Marriage and death = money generating business as usual for greedy family members.

Long throat and poverty mentality.

Ladycewhy:
The same bride price that made men think they bought a commodity? who ever told you women were happy with it? who and who did you get this statistics from?


And by the way ,I am not dumb not to know he was joking with the evil forest thing ,the colonists free you africans from that bondage along time ago.

Obviously the primary beneficiary would have been the bride's father of he were alive because in the case of absentee fathers , they seek out the father to come and collect bride price even if he didn't contribute a dime ,so in this case it's very clear the father is dead , and so the beneficiaries automatically became the elders made up of kinsmen in the family.

SmartyPants:


I showed you how I arrived at that conclusion deductively.

pocohantas:


Which Igbo family do you know that have “forgotten” their roots. Maybe they do exist, but that is because they decided to banish themselves from their roots, not that they forgot. It is doable, but I do not know any reasonable Igbo family that would do that over a marriage list.

The repercussion won’t be diabolical, the repercussion would range from insulting your parents that they didn’t allow them benefit from your marriage. Would be worse if your parents have ever partaken in the share of another loot. Worse case scenario, if she dies, they will say they never gave you their daughter to marry. So, they are not even aware you are married to her.

What I see some parents do is lift the burden from the SIL and pay themselves or do their best to negotiate. Let them just carry their wahala and go.

Lalami3232:
Paying 300K for a lady's brideprice , and the guy wey disvirgin am use coke and gala

bluskyee:
Where I come from bride price goes higher than that and lower than that. Depends on how much the suitor is willing to spare. Bride prices are shared. In my place, male elders have a mandatory 50k while women can get up to 40k plus that of the parents. Minimum required bride price is 50k cos the men don't compromise even if women and parents do decide to let go of theirs

sisisioge:


My brother, I'm not trying to start a war or be offensive in anyway, just wondering why it's like that. I love the part of the culture that appeals to me and have great friends plus a sister of the Igbo decend o...was just curious why people one hardly know would have so much authority on one's wedding. That's all.

pocohantas:


Men are their own enemies.

I am sure when they stayed and agreed to be paying “bride price” abi huge marriage list, they forgot that someone like Buhari would be a democratic president. They also never foresaw that $1= N478 or graduates would turn 31 without stable jobs.

Now that the economy is choking them and restricting their airflows, they are now forming online bro-code and looking for imaginary feminist that will go stop a practice they put in place for their own ever-needy-ego.

You’ll still see same charlatans insulting other Nigerian tribes that are civil enough to conduct marriages like what it is- the coming together of two consenting adults, not an empowerment program.

That gender can never be understood.

If not that God is all knowing, they almost confused Him when He asked a simple question in the Garden of Eden.

Eleru gberu e ooo



Na their way na. Cry when e choke them.

They na want to put the burden of ROI on us. We no send them message o. Lmao!

Romanoff:
This same matter.

Out of 70 tubers of yam, my mum got only 5.

Out of several crates of soft drink, na only give pieces of Malta guinness them give my mama, then a bottle of palm oil out of 25 litres of oil.

If those old men meet me on the road, they don't know me. They didn't know how I went to school from nursery to masters.

But they collected everything in the bridal list.

How long we wan continue like this.

MartinsD12:

That is no culture, that is called selling their daughter, I have witnesses many bride price, I have never seen elders share money that comes with paying of bride price.

descarado:

They don't have any authority except the one given to them by the bride and her family.
And this is an outrageous bride price.
Have never heard of this crazy thing before.

Would be brides instead of protecting and shielding their prospective husbands from wolves, tend to exaggerate and make the guy look like a president before her family which then extend to the greedy elders through gossips and that's why you have this nonsense.

The guy in question always rode on white horse when visiting.
After marriage, na the babe go hear am. When problem arise, those way chop money will tell her straight away they are not ready to commit.

descarado:

They don't have any authority except the one given to them by the bride and her family.
And this is an outrageous bride price.
Have never heard of this crazy thing before.

Would be brides instead of protecting and shielding their prospective husbands from wolves, tend to exaggerate and make the guy look like a president before her family which then extend to the greedy elders through gossips and that's why you have this nonsense.

The guy in question always rode on white horse when visiting.
After marriage, na the babe go hear am. When problem arise, those wey chop money will tell her straight away they are not ready to vomit.

sisisioge:


I honestly still find it hard to understand the Igbo marriage initiation system. How could strangers reap where they did not sow bikonu? Is it too much to do the wedding in the brides compound minus all those extended kinsmen? Or do kukuma somewhere the wife's father is based whether na Lagos o abi na Kano....that will also reduce the perpetual list considerably.

15 crates of malt for youth.
5 bags of rice for the youths
40 kegs of wine for the kinsmen
50 baskets of kolanut for the elders

sisisioge:




Since it has been established that the price is a must-pay, na to just create the smallest baseline. In fact, if its possible to have a unify amount that cuts across board, the better. You guys will just pay it like tax...issue resolved

Ishilove:

Literal or metaphorical white horse?

Ladycewhy:
Again who asked you for sharing formula ,or you are too daft? let's not not forget that it's the same sharing formula that created this thread.


I am just concerned about how it all started ,but if your brain cells are not ready for that conversation, do well to exit my mention.

descarado:

Bride price is 6 naira. That is what will be giving to you when you go to customary court for dissolution of marriage.

Ordinarily, one don't pay bride price. Like in mine, my husband's family was given back the money and they took like 10% of it. This popular adage was used to conclude it. "You no dey marry woman finish for one day" In other words, as you give back that money, you open up a relationship which says our daughter is giving to you guys to just take care of and a symbiotic union formed.


Any body that goes contrary to what is written in their constitution has herself to blame.

Well, I don't know about some other igboland but where I came from and it's environs, marriage is very cheap. Very very cheap. And these I have attended are the same.

Maobichek:



Let me be specific, bride price of 300k is not possible because the list is what makes marrying some igbo girls difficult. No one pays bride price 300k after buying everything in the list. Since he didn't talk about the list, that 300k must be part of the things in the list.

Bride price goes to the parents of the girl and not elders or even uncles, what elders and uncles receive is their entitlement in the list and not bride price. Some elders/uncles can decide that their entitlement in the list be paid in cash and not material things as listed in the list. What the groom's family will do is to get the prices of those items and pay the cash equivalent .

What the mother of the girl received was the bride price and the rest was the item in the list, thank you.

MadamExcellency:


Don't your mother and the village women have their separate lists?

Okoroawusa:
#300k for bride price? I don't believe this

Note that in igboland bride price is different from marriage rites. What usually take up a lot of money are the marriage rites not bride price.

nwekeugochukwu:
A man took to Twitter to say "we need to dismantle misogyny" after he didn't get a share from his sister's bride price, IgbereTV reports.

He said bride price of 300,000 Naira was paid and his mother was given only 5,000 Naira while elders he's never seen in his life took the rest.

Read his tweets below.


https://twitter.com/Chuka_emordi/status/1378808456728219648?s=20