Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

Yeah.

You need to voice out to your wife right now, how her mother's impromptu visits unsettles you.

Because if you don't, you might never have the chance again.

Such a woman can easily take over control of your house, if she's not stopped on time.

Gcool2:
Guess what can out of my mouth....."Stupid Guy"


Sorry OP...

No need to be sorry. He's a kid

What is this one saying......

Guy be careful with issues like this... Wisdom is profitable!

Your marriage is still fresh and new. I see this as no issue at all. She stays close by ND just felt like visiting or seeing her daughter and you come dey Para.

The problem is you're broke and scared of not having anything to give her if she's leaving!

If I were you, I take my mind off this and focus on more productive things.. Imagine you want to warn your wife, hmmmmm, I pity you!

It feels like you don't like a peaceful home or how we're you even brought up sef? In a hostile environment where everything is done forcefully?

Guy use your head sometimes. One day you'll need your mother in law's help so don't create any animosity BTW yourself and your wife's family.

Odogwunaeast:



Your mother inlaw is part and parcel of your family. I think that any member of your family has every right to come to your house anytime they so wish, unannounced.

Are you normal?

Deathisfree:


I see no sense in this. Even if it’s 1mins drive. There should be a notice. It’s obvious you visit people without a pre ? If so stop it ,it’s a bad habit

It's not like she's gonna sleep over at ur house, this is no big deal honestly.

You better ignore... As a married man, it's not everything you carry for head o.
When you eventually have kids, you will be the one doing the impromptu disturbing stunts

RMoneyInTheBank:
35 minutes drive from your house and you expect her to inform you before coming ALL THE TIME ? Bros fear God... After all she is not there to stay... In as much as it is good to inform people before visiting them, I feel it shouldn't be ALL THE TIME especially if the person is related to you and if the distance is as small as 35 minutes like you said... Is either the OP was brought up in an hostile environment or na Money yab man

You shouldn’t judge him. That what he want. When it is your turn you can accommodate anything you wish. Some mother in law shouldn’t be tolerated.

Bro, just lock up please, like you said, you just got married, don't start a family war already. And please, don't tell your wife anything, that is her mother, you're going to scatter your marriage before it starts.

Here is the deal, when next it repeats itself, greet and behave normal, then when she is gone, ask you wife, "is everything okay with mummy?? She comes and she doesn't say anything, hope everything is fine"

If her response is, "no problem, shes just checking on us"..... Tell her okay.

Now, you know its about to be regular visits. After few weeks, tell her you want you guyz to have a rule. Any family member, including your own mum, father and siblings, must notify you guyz beforehand, let her know that you don't want them to come when you're about to cum, they must not come and hinder you guyz fun and laugh about it... Period.

Don't forget, you will need that same mama when the babies start rolling in.

Be matured about things bro. Marriage is very sensitive.

come make I borrow you money

Deathisfree:


I see no sense in this. Even if it’s 1mins drive. There should be a notice. It’s obvious you visit people without a pre ? If so stop it ,it’s a bad habit

oga die this talk abeg, she's your mother in law and not your girlfriend, she came visiting and she'll soon go back to her house. At the rate you're going, you'll be a pain to your wife's neck very soon if not one already Haba. If she came to stay for a prolonged period without information, thats where I would say there's a problem. Besides, learn how to keep family issues off social media, most people giving you advise here might be teenagers staying under their fathers roof and waiting for their own mother to cook before they can eat

Intolerant bastard, there's a good chance you are Igbo

pmc01:


No need to be sorry. He's a kid

OP in another thread said he is 33.

mutter:
Some men are mean!
Why don't you allow them to get used to the fact that the daughter is now married!
It's not easy to break a bond like mother daughter.
Anyway personally I could. Never be married to a man with your expectations!
My family remains my family irrespective of marriage. Same goes for my husband's family.
This is why it is important for couple to agree about such things before marriage.
Very sad...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkQ2a_3mB4g

I love you.

I always wonder why nonsense is posted here. How will a family be living so close and cannot branch your house without a call?
OP doesn't have money, that's his real problem. But the woman might not even be looking for money.

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

As much as it's nice to call before a visit, I don't think it's a big reason to be upset. Trust me when your kids arrive, you will pray for the impromptu visit so that you can breathe. When you married your wife you married her family along with her, it's a package deal, if the visits are too frequent you can stylishly tell her that you are in the process of getting her grandchildren n her visit is standing in the way of the process, she will get the message.

I don't know if it's the environment in which I was brought up, I don't expect my in-laws to inform me before visiting and they visit anytime they feel like.

My mother's mom and her siblings visited us when they wanted and my dad also had no issue with that.

In my place in-laws are treated like Kings and I dare not tell my mother-in-law that she must inform me before visiting. To me it's a no issue.

We are Africans.... All those "call before coming, else on Ur own" doesn't hold water here.

Just endure this moment but let the daughter know you are displeased and won't appreciate any unwanted/uninvited visitor in future into your home.

It is not advisable to keep visiting young couples and your mother in-law should know this.

Maybe it's time to set some rules about People visiting your home. But your rules should be fair to both families, friends and relatives.

Una too get wahala. Wetin Dey there if person visit u. People visiting is an act of love to me. Maybe because I grew up with my mum and dad recipients of extended family. Remembered growing up, we cook with big party pot every night, because of extended families living with us. It’s all love man. Don’t take it personal.

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

Fvck her

Offpoint1:
Lol people dey this life, I doubt if this guy marriage will survive 5 years

I just weak. His tone sef is demeaning

Vaughanlanrewaj:

surely you are not married
That is why boys and girls don't marry. Only men and women do. And please be careful about words you proclaim on your future marriage. May you not have a broken home.

Boys should not get married I agree. He's such a pompous fellow. This is Nigeria not abroad. 35mins my arse.

Mindlog:


OP in another thread said he is 33.

I didn't know that. I actually meant his mentality, not his age. His attitude is worrisome.

I swear you no get sense ,what is wrong if she didn't notify you or 30 minutes distance from you , something you can seat down and solve it within yourself you are bring it here on nairaland ,if you dnt want her to pay you a visit of one day relocate to abj , borno state or adamawa state she will definitely inform you of her coming

Man, you ain't ripe for marriage if you can't handle this maturely in less than 3months. What will happen in 3years?

Alaye, stop social media things. Use your initiative and instincts to resolve marital issues. Else, you are heading to bachelorhood in no distant time. That's the truth.

[quote author=Colonelswitz101 post=100697700]

All this one na story... Even if we are living in the same street, if you as my in-law visit me without prior information, I will condone it the first time after giving serious warning to my wife buh if u try it the second time then u are on ur own cos I will not open my door for u except u intend to carry ur daughter on ur way home...[/quot

Deathisfree:


I just hope she won’t be expecting some token when she’s leaving cox. Chichi I no go drop.

Must you bring everything to social media?

Can't you handle this, privately?

Jeez... Nawa o

notoriousbabe:
come make I borrow you money

You see how you jumped in without reading, insulting the wife thinking she was the complainant! You words before you edited!

CHoccolaTE:
Nigerian marriages are so unfair to women

Just imagine if a wife went to sit inside room and refused to talk to her husbands mother because mama visited without notice.

Insults for yapa for this thread

She won't hear the end of the matter o. Infact, they will summon the elders for her that is after she has been beaten up by her husband.
Last last, na she go kneel down apologize