Tenshades:
Why not kill ur mother in law...weerey OP!

You suppose marry mad woman for street wey no get family since u no wan see ur wife family member.

Because say u marry wife, none of her people suppose check on her?

You no even sound mature enough to handle a home.

Na 2 by 2 plank u deserve for head.

Weerey!

Modified: Notification kill u dia!

as in ehn, what vexed me most is all those giving him yeye advise here, they are not telling him the truth

RMoneyInTheBank:
35 minutes drive from your house and you expect her to inform you before coming ALL THE TIME ? Bros fear God... After all she is not there to stay... In as much as it is good to inform people before visiting them, I feel it shouldn't be ALL THE TIME especially if the person is related to you and if the distance is as small as 35 minutes like you said... Is either the OP was brought up in an hostile environment or na Money yab man

Visit me without asking if I am home 1st ..you hear....you go wait taya

Ghostmode2two:
Tell your wife your mind. Your wife could be aware of her gestapo coming but she is feigning not knowing. You are the boss so draw the line fast

I bet it with you if he ever make the mistake of telling his wife about this, this will be the beginning of their problem. Only this guy will not come here to update us.

Mindlog:


You see how jumped in without reading, insulting the wife thinking she was the complainant! You words before you edited!

Wow, you were very sharp for screen grabbing that

You're yarning dust.

Since you so value the western way of life why not incorporate their laws too.

Once a man is married his property also becomes the property of his wife and in the event that they even get a divorce, his wife may even be the one to receive ownership of the house in divorce settlement.

Resident authority kor, resident evil ni.

Also, nowa most women jointly pay rent with their husbands and you're gonna prevent her mother from visiting a house that she co owns... Cry you a river.

dam4sam:


You are wrong, confirm.
The only house the mother inlaw has control over, is her own husband's house, not her Son-in-law's House.
To affirm my position: Can she force her way in or call the Police to come and break the door, if she is refused entry?
This siwhat ordinarily one would do, for a house that is your own.
Her Visit is at the pleasure of the owner of the House, her son-in-law.
His wife is an "appendage" to his ownership, that is, her "sub-ownership" derives from any power her husband surrenders to her.

Ownership authority (husband) is not the same thing with "resident-ship authority" (wife).

ezugegere:
Marriage should be for matured adults only. I can't get angry because my mother-in-law walks into my house without pre-notifying me. Even if she come meet me fucking her daughter, na she and her daughter go fight, nothing concern me.

I think the OP might have a wife that travels often and he probably lives a double life, maybe flirts around with other women at his home when wifey is not around. He is just scared his mama in law might catch him red handed with another woman when he wasn't expecting her to show up. Lol.

But on a more serious note, I don't see why it should bother the man if the mum lives close by. The issue should be when she lives miles away and has to sleep over cos she can't return the same day. The reasons for this are understandable:

1. They may not have planned for her catering/hospitality needs and weren't given adequate time to.

2. They may have planned to travel before her arrival and this would disrupt travel arrangements.

3. She might be the talking/gossip type and go share information about their personal/financial state to the outside world, especially if it's not very good at the time of her visit.

4. She may be a troublesome fellow/distraction who expects to be given 100% attention.

5. She may have come for money which they don't have or haven't prepared for at the time.

6 She may always give wrongful advice to her daughter and cause marital problems for the new family.

7. She may make requests/demands of the husband or both couples that he/they may not have the ability to achieve in his/their current physical/socio-economic status. (For instance: a troublesome brother in law might have been arrested for stabbing someone and she wants you to go get him out, not caring how you do it).

8. Some mothers in law don't know when to leave. They turn the home into theirs (even worse if she is a widow, cos fathers in law tend to control their erring wife in this respect and keep them at home) and even command everyone about, including the husband of her daughter. When you fall less of her expectations she starts calling everyone of her children, including your family members and distant relatives to report you that she is being maltreated in her daughter's home.

In laws should learn to give new couples time to bond properly before the children start coming. Most marriages that are dissolved in old age happen because the couples never really got quality time together in the beginning as man and wife and feel as though kids were the only bond holding them together through the years till they grew up and left home. This is either because the kids came in too early (pregnancy before marriage or were constantly barraged by in-law visits until the kids showed up and even afterwards). Those who invented honeymoon are not stupid. In my opinion the honeymoon period should be longer than most people observe. Especially for couples who weren't living together prior to marriage.

emerged01:


You shouldn’t judge him. That what he want. When it is your turn you can accommodate anything you wish. Some mother in law shouldn’t be tolerated.

you think we are in the 50s when women die in their husbands house? It is not always about what you want if you want a lasting marriage. If the man can't tolerate the mother in law on a visit, what other things won't he tolerate? Such men that don't want families around their wives are rarely nice. The women are constantly Living in fear. If you can't tolerate the mother in law you may tolerate divource. You think your wife will automatically hate her mum just because you don't want her visiting? Be considerate. When you show kindness to your in-laws your wife consider it as love

capitalzero:


Did I say he should not inform people before visiting?
It is bad habit. If you visit me without Notification, I would disappoint you.

Some people don't like impromptu notifications either. They would expect him to have informed them at least a week earlier, and not 30minutes before showing up.
I'm surprised you would even consider disappointing someone like your mom if she pops in without notifying you.
Notifications are always nice, but may be urgent and impromptu at times for whatever reasons.
It's not something to get angry about imo, but to each his own

I see no big deal so long as she just came by and wouldn't spend the night there.

She's family and we are Africans.

mutter:
Some men are mean!
Why don't you allow them to get used to the fact that the daughter is now married!
It's not easy to break a bond like mother daughter.
Anyway personally I could. Never be married to a man with your expectations!
My family remains my family irrespective of marriage. Same goes for my husband's family.
This is why it is important for couple to agree about such things before marriage.
Very sad...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkQ2a_3mB4g

so if his own mother keeps coming to their house like his mother in law, won't d wife start complaining too, women n their being inconsiderate, do u think it is only d wife who has her family near by?

As I posted above, I have read some wild stories on NL.
Here's just a few samples.

I Caught My Mother Having Sex With My Husband - Romance - Nairaland
https://www.nairaland.com/2900528/caught-mother-having-sex-husband

My Mother Slept With My Fiancé - Family - Nairaland
https://www.nairaland.com/545430/mother-slept-fiance

I Slept With My Wife's Mother And Friend. I Am Askin 4 Help Not Curses. - Romance - Nairaland
https://www.nairaland.com/430217/slept-wifes-mother-friend-askin


“my Mother-in-law Lured Me To Bed With Her”- Man Confesses (photos) - Romance - Nairaland
https://www.nairaland.com/4729573/mother-in-law-lured-me-bed-man

armyofone:
It's due to limited resources.

exactly that is the causes of poverty and lack of good orientation

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

it appears you don't have a cordial relationship with your in-laws. You don't loose anything by pretending to accommodate her. You may not have to part with any gift and you may politely inform her of any engagement you have; with time she will reduce the frequency of the visits without you confronting her

Mariangeles:

Kriss, it's the same personality. Maybe a bit less playful...
It's all in your mind sha.

You're civil with this moniker.
Henceforth, I'll be responding to this moniker only.

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

/
Be a man.

Go out there and give your mother-in-law two dirty slaps.

35 minutes away from you? This is just one of many unannounced visits. Some of the visits will be to gossip you sef. Deal with it. You don buy market.

The best you can do is leave the house when she comes. Thank your star that she doesn't stay overnight.

/

Mindlog:


Even if she no be president wife, she no be loafer but an achiever that raised an intellectual based on what OP posted somewhere. He said his wife is 25 years old, a PhD holder and a lecturer.

25 years old, a Phd holder and lecturer. I guess OP has beaten Lie Mohammed at his game.

Take it brother, she is in your house because her daughter is there. If her daughter not in your house I don't think she will visit you.

Easy and don't do anything silly

This is what you get when you cannot relocate
Abiiii na family Ouse u Dey niiiii

poseidon12:


25 years old, a Phd holder and lecturer. I guess OP has beaten Lie Mohammed at his game.

That is what OP wrote in another of his thread where he described his stepmother as a witch.

eyinjuege:


Some people don't like impromptu notifications either. They would expect him to have informed them at least a week earlier, and not 30minutes before showing up.
I'm surprised you would even consider disappointing someone like your mom if she pops in without notifying you.
Notifications are always nice, but may be urgent and impromptu at times for whatever reasons.
It's not something to get angry about imo, but to each his own

Impromptu notification is better than not giving any.

RMoneyInTheBank:
..hhhahahahahhah...you missed the part where I said "all the time"


Secondly, you mean I can't just show up at my uncles house or my sister's house that is 35 minutes away from mine.. Not as if I want to spend the night or something ?

The problem here is "how you were brought up"... You were brought up in an hostile environment I guess...

In as much as it is good to inform someone before visiting them, i don't see anything bad if my mother in-law who lives 35 minutes away show up at my place without notice.... Informing relations before visiting them shouldn't be ALL THE TIME especially when they are not there to spend the night and when it is as little as 35 minutes distance... Like I said, you were brought up in an hostile environment .....i know the problem... MY BROTHER HUSTLE ooooo.. E get why..na when man no get money this kind annoyance they come out....


You brough an issue to the public, seeking what to do, and you are busy opposing People's opinion.... You are to read and filter comments and not countering people's opinion or idea

Shush your mouth! This topic is above your low IQ and poverty ridden mentality!

You sound like a typical village champion! How on earth would any sane person in 21st century buy the idea of jobless and useless mother visiting her daughter’s home without pre-info.

It is obvious you r from a lousy family where self respect has been thrown out of d window.

It’s totally wrong for you to visit someone without informing them that you r coming to visit regardless your relationship with them.

That jobless woman should go and get a job.

Guys, before you settle down, look at your wife’s family pedigree and things like this would have been avoided.

if you tell your wife to talk to her mom about her coming, remember you have your own mother also

Queenethofficia:
if you tell your wife to talk to her mom about her coming, remember you have your own mother also

If his mother respect herself, she won’t be jumping all over the place. It’s wrong!

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

What's the big deal with your mother in-law dropping in unannounced? What's wrong with you?

It's not like her visit is going to significantly disrupt your life.

I don't just understand the way some of you think.

Except there is something you're not telling us.

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

the solution is to change your location, how do you feel comfortable getting accommodation within your parents and mother inlaw's environ?


They can't give you prior notice, it's not possible

The solution is to change location entirely, save yourself the stress of quarreling with your wife.

The op is just telling lies. He said his mother is dead in one of his threads and here...he is saying his own parents live 5minutes away and don't come visiting. Is it the step mum he described as a devil that will come visiting?

Bro your wife may possibly be aware of her coming but wont tell you she knows because she know you will be mad at her perhaps she forgot to inform you before the mother arrived you know they always forget things that matters...

This was how my mother in law came for Omugwo without informing me shes on her way...we dont even leave in same state and not even close distance a journey of about five hours.

It was the birth of our second child and our first Son after being discharged from hospital on arriving home with my family just about opening the door the next person I saw was Mother in law I was furious but the joy of the moment can not be ruined by that

The thing is people may think theres no big deal in this but if a man keep allowing that I bet you will regret the outcome in future so you better cut it from the beginning even in your marriage whatever you don't want to see in your home you have to start from the beginning to stop that no pamper here.

Sorry to say this “Most women don't think about what negative impact their actions can create until it starts happening and u will be amazed how they will still apportion the blames on you.

To avoid ruining her stay for the Omugwo I cant tell her I don't like the way she come without my notice even though we know she must come for the Omugwo in the first place but meennn I need know you are coming..

On the other hand My lovely wife just survived the pains of child bearing I don't need to start any quarrels on her despite I was angry about that So in this case I have to try manage and overlook my displeasure then talked to my wife after some days and told her I wont tolerate such next time and wont take that from any family member be it my side.

My conclusion is as a man who desire a responsible home and not house.
You need to disallow anything you don't want to see in the expected home you wish to have.

A peaceful home does not just exist on its own it is built by the parties involved.

Camberlo:
Take it brother, she is in your house because her daughter is there. If her daughter not in your house I don't think she will visit you.

Easy and don't do anything silly

Are you guys ok?

The woman should have married her daughter then.

This is nonsense!

Couple needs their space!

Mother in law should stay away from their kids homes

PrimadonnaO:
Aren't you overreacting? You sound so angry and irritated.

I know it's courtesy to inform people before you visit. But this is family, and she's not even coming to stay over. Is it such a big deal that she just popped in to say hello?

Your tone is even disrespectful. If you talk to your wife about it while you're in this mood, you'll say a lot of wrong things.

Why are you even talking about money. Is it that you give your in-laws money whenever they visit? Did they ask you to? Do you think she came to get money from you?

Abeg, your post is just so wrong.

Are you blind? Didnt you see what the guy write up there that the jobless woman come around a lot...

Couple needs a space!

Only a shameless mother without class go to her daughter house under the pretence of being a mother

My mother won’t do that cos i know how much she respect herself. They don’t need to tell her even though she lives close to my younger sister home.

You ll beg her to visit. That’s how it’s done in a sane family where self respect is their watchword

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

Stop deceiving yourself, your wife is aware. So tell her to tell her Mum to leave if that is what you want.

helpee:
you think we are in the 50s when women die in their husbands house? It is not always about what you want if you want a lasting marriage. If the man can't tolerate the mother in law on a visit, what other things won't he tolerate? Such men that don't want families around their wives are rarely nice. The women are constantly Living in fear. If you can't tolerate the mother in law you may tolerate divource. You think your wife will automatically hate her mum just because you don't want her visiting? Be considerate. When you show kindness to your in-laws your wife consider it as love

You have a point but my own view is beyond mere visiting. It has do with overbearing mother in laws. Who knows he maybe seeing the signs so I can’t blame him. I’m a married man, some mother in laws overstep boundaries. Thank God I have a good mother in law. Mind you every coin has both sides.

mutter:
Some men are mean!
Why don't you allow them to get used to the fact that the daughter is now married!
It's not easy to break a bond like mother daughter.
Anyway personally I could. Never be married to a man with your expectations!
My family remains my family irrespective of marriage. Same goes for my husband's family.
This is why it is important for couple to agree about such things before marriage.
Very sad...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkQ2a_3mB4g

My husband and I had that discussion before we got married. I remember him telling me emphatically that we would not allow incessant visits from relatives on both sides. More than a decade later, my siblings have only visited about 2 or 3 times each, while his siblings and parents visit very regularly and a lot of times, without prior notice.