₦airaland Forum

mmadu4:
she wants you to sleep with her so she can take full control . or become and liability and tie you down with pregnancy you better let her go . if you have money find small single room and porch rent for her so she can carry her wahaala go .

saphiere:
If anything happens to her you will be held accountable. Her people know she is in your custody. Be a man. Go home and settle your differences.

Richochett:
You don't have any legal right to lock her out of her personal belongings (e.g clothes). If you're not comfortable with her attitude simply tell her to start looking for accommodation.

Moreover, from your narratives I can't see anywhere the girl has wronged you. You're are just acting bossy because its your house

Allow her to enter the house.

saphiere:
If anything happens to her you will be held accountable. Her people know she is in your custody. Be a man. Go home and settle your differences.

daveyjay:
Good day NLers, please I need your take on this.
I'm a student in one of Nigeria's prominent public universities.

A girl decided to vie for admission in my school via the predigree programme but she had no accommodation. Because of the relationship between my parents and hers, I offered to take her in from January till now

I offered a roof over her head.

The first night she came, she slept on the floor and I wasn't okay with that, the following night, I told her she could have the bed, I vacated my bed and relegated myself to sleeping on the floor, we can't share same bed since she's neither my babe nor sister. And this sleeping routine has continued ever since then. The floor is my new bed

I gave her my spare key, uncensored access to my kitchen and everything within my legal occupancy.
Cut long story short, last week Tuesday she woke up, had her bath, ate then stepped out briefly, when she returned we were outta water. Tap water of course. She called my attention to it to which I remained calm. Meanwhile I hadn't eaten neither had I bathed. At noon, she came to me that she was hungry but couldn't cook due to unavailability of water, I then asked her if I am to fetch her water??!.

She said she was gonn take food stuff to her friend's place (upstairs) to cook.
I replied by asking how many of her friends had lacked water and brought food stuff to cook here??!


She got angry and took some money and left


That same Tuesday, I went to see Chelsea game, when I returned, I asked her if she cooked but she didn't dignify me with her attention talk more of a response.
I thought it was rude but considered it as one of the many tantrums of ladies

The following morning, she woke up, acted like I don't exist, couldn't greet... had her bathe and left. Returned, unlocked the door, walked in like I wasn't there, ate, left to her friend's place.

On Thursday she repeated the routine, I called her back when she was going out, I asked her if she considered me as her father, brother or boyfriend that she'd wake up and start throwing attitudes...
I made her understand that I am her benefactor.
Hardly did I finish before she left. She returned and continued in same path and that has continued till this very moment...

Last night she didn't sleep at home, when she returned in the morning, she unlocked the door with her spare, walked in, ate, brushed, dressed and walked out without a single word e come be like say I be ghost.

What I did, I changed the locks, took some stuff, sealed my door with strict instructions to the caretaker then moved to a friends place outside my lodge and I've been there ever since.

She has returned and has been calling my line but I've been ignoring...

Now, is my action too harsh or still in line??!

Richochett:
Allow her to enter the house.
But wait o.. Why are you avoiding her since you're not related? Sleeping on the floor while she sleeps on the bed. Why you can't sleep on the same bed
You have underrated and despised her, now she's trying to level up with you.
I'm sure she first gave you greenlights before the attitude.

I have had similar experience in my time as an undergraduate. I have slept in the same room with a girl (she did not relate to me in any way) but I was afraid to make moves due to unknown fear despite all the greenlights.

My advice: stop underrating her even she's a jambite. Play games with her e.g ludo, whot etc and watch how everything play out naturally.

How old are you both?

daveyjay:
Good day NLers, please I need your take on this.
I'm a student in one of Nigeria's prominent public universities.

A girl decided to vie for admission in my school via the predigree programme but she had no accommodation. Because of the relationship between my parents and hers, I offered to take her in from January till now

I offered a roof over her head.

The first night she came, she slept on the floor and I wasn't okay with that, the following night, I told her she could have the bed, I vacated my bed and relegated myself to sleeping on the floor, we can't share same bed since she's neither my babe nor sister. And this sleeping routine has continued ever since then. The floor is my new bed

I gave her my spare key, uncensored access to my kitchen and everything within my legal occupancy.
Cut long story short, last week Tuesday she woke up, had her bath, ate then stepped out briefly, when she returned we were outta water. Tap water of course. She called my attention to it to which I remained calm. Meanwhile I hadn't eaten neither had I bathed. At noon, she came to me that she was hungry but couldn't cook due to unavailability of water, I then asked her if I am to fetch her water??!.

She said she was gonn take food stuff to her friend's place (upstairs) to cook.
I replied by asking how many of her friends had lacked water and brought food stuff to cook here??!


She got angry and took some money and left


That same Tuesday, I went to see Chelsea game, when I returned, I asked her if she cooked but she didn't dignify me with her attention talk more of a response.
I thought it was rude but considered it as one of the many tantrums of ladies

The following morning, she woke up, acted like I don't exist, couldn't greet... had her bathe and left. Returned, unlocked the door, walked in like I wasn't there, ate, left to her friend's place.

On Thursday she repeated the routine, I called her back when she was going out, I asked her if she considered me as her father, brother or boyfriend that she'd wake up and start throwing attitudes...
I made her understand that I am her benefactor.
Hardly did I finish before she left. She returned and continued in same path and that has continued till this very moment...

Last night she didn't sleep at home, when she returned in the morning, she unlocked the door with her spare, walked in, ate, brushed, dressed and walked out without a single word e come be like say I be ghost.

What I did, I changed the locks, took some stuff, sealed my door with strict instructions to the caretaker then moved to a friends place outside my lodge and I've been there ever since.

She has returned and has been calling my line but I've been ignoring...

Now, is my action too harsh or still in line??!

espn:
Considering the relationship between ur parents. Let her in back
..but please make sure you return to ur bed...no look her face...you don't need to tell her...just rush to ur bed as soon as it is time to sleep... if she cook don't eat...but that doesn't stop you from replying her greetings or responding to her jokes. She will come begging...trust me...If this works please update me.

UwaMmebii:
So you have been sleeping in the same room with a girl not ur sister or coursing and haven't sleep/sex her? Wow u strong. Perhaps the girl is ugly or not sexy. If to say u are hitting that gal with ur ogbunigwe she won't have been acting disrepectfull to you. But who am I to judge, as u locked her out another sharp guy will accommodate her and service her engine routinely.

smallsmall:
That advice is WICKED!
Have you read the story of Joseph and Potiphars wife?
Women who are shunned will likely turn evil.
In a World where Women say: "anytime we shout "Rape", dont ask questions, just lynch the accused guy", what if he takes her back and she shouts RAPE, as expected?

Once he has changed his lock, there is no going back unless he wants to regret it.
The die is cast, he should NEVER take her back, under no circumstance.
RIght now, he has to think about his own safety.
"Hell has No Fury, like a woman scorned"

Chukabiz:
Does it mean that one mumu called Saphire did not see this thread or did she comment with another username?
This is the kind of thread she usually comes to display her foolishness on.

lilyheaven:
Hmmm , I’m just wondering how parents will want their girl child to live with a male friend, since January, this is ending of April.
Can’t she stay with her new found girl friends, or are they expecting you to marry her?

Geniero:
This reminds me of a similar experience I had. An hostel mate who had graduated the previous year called that her cousin was coming to take post ume and asked that I accommodate her, that was how I agreed oo. First act, I always fetched water and kept in the house for our use (she came a week to the exam). One evening after lectures, I needed a quick shower and head out to somewhere, there was a bucket of water in the bathroom, as I made attempt to enter the bathroom, next thing I heard was, "bros na that water I go take baff tomorrow oo". I shook, no probs, I quickly rushed and fetched water from the tap (just outside our room oo). Another day I came back from lectures hungry, attempt to eat from the rice I met in the kitchen.. "bros na the food I go eat before I go for tutorials for morning ooo", (food that she cooked with my foodstuff and gas oo), her post ume day, I came back home in the evening to meet 3 strange faces with her.. "bros na my friends, na from here we all go travel tomorrow morning".I slept in a neighbors room that night, I and the neighbor had a good laugh about the experience.

Richochett:
You don't have any legal right to lock her out of her personal belongings (e.g clothes). If you're not comfortable with her attitude simply tell her to start looking for accommodation.

Moreover, from your narratives I can't see anywhere the girl has wronged you. You're are just acting bossy because its your house

Allow her to enter the house.

rajiedreez:
Good step, but I doubt if she'll act normal still. Don't evict her. And don't give her a spare key tell her to adjust herself to your timing if she wants to continue staying with you. I.e. she'll only have access to the room when you're around. If she can't work with that, her friends place is still upstairs

daveyjay:
I am a nursing student, I have em girls...
I don't need to take advantage of her staying with me

Nyanyafk:
Nearly same thing happened to me, accommodated a family friends daughter in my final year, her father assured me it would be for a short while as she searches for her own apartment, things were all good in the beginning, I knew she had very little money and I made sure she never lacked food and we rotated doing chores in the house
Many people assumed she was my litttle sister due to how I treated her, fast forward three weeks and I noticed she had changed a lot, she barely goes to school or spends time in the house, it got to a point that she spends most nights in god knows where, I began doing most of the chores at home as she was barely home, she only comes home to eat, wash and bath and then she is off, I didn’t want to get her in trouble with her dad so I had a talk with her and she apologized and started behaving right for a few days then she returned to her habit, I had a talk with her the second time as she had become very wayward and people were starting to notice, she apologized again but She continued in her ways after a few days
Her dad always calls me to check up on her and I always covered for her even when most times I don’t even know where she is for days, when I saw that she wasn’t changing, I opened up to her dad(although I didn’t tell him most of it for her sake) he said he was going to talk to her
Few days later she confronted me laughing that why did I call her dad, I told her it was in her best interest, I noticed her family stopped calling me after that, it was later I got to find out she had told them the reason she wasn’t spending time at home was because I was touching her at night. What pained me about the whole thing was that her father did not even confront me or anything, he just believed her, few months later I kicked her out as she was barely at home and I was tired of explaining to different girls that the female clothes bags and shoes in my house belonged to my sister and not my girlfriend as they had never met her and so they assumed I had a girlfriend I was hiding.
Long story short I got vindicated as some months later that same girl was disowned by her father for being out of control after they fought many times when she got back from school, this same girl has apologized to me countless times and has tried on so many occasion to befriend me again, I just told her I hold no grudges against her but I don’t want us to be in contact.

Rocktation:
But she clearly told you that she couldn't cook due to unavailability of water. You are the host and very likely the one with the muscles. I don't see how fetching water for your guest to prep your meal is a big deal. Unless, you want her to pay for the roof over her head, by doing all the house chores, I'm certainly not understanding what really prompted this fight.
There's probably more that you are not telling.

smallsmall:
Shut-Up and stop yarnning Rubbish.
Both of them are Adults and one is not beholden to the Order!
She is not in his Custody, she is a full grown adult, that is why she can decide to go sleep somewhere, come back and not render any account to him.
You are so dumb, even if the future is female, but certainly not dumb females like you.

daveyjay:
Good day NLers, please I need your take on this.
I'm a student in one of Nigeria's prominent public universities.

A girl decided to vie for admission in my school via the predigree programme but she had no accommodation. Because of the relationship between my parents and hers, I offered to take her in from January till now

I offered a roof over her head.

The first night she came, she slept on the floor and I wasn't okay with that, the following night, I told her she could have the bed, I vacated my bed and relegated myself to sleeping on the floor, we can't share same bed since she's neither my babe nor sister. And this sleeping routine has continued ever since then. The floor is my new bed

I gave her my spare key, uncensored access to my kitchen and everything within my legal occupancy.
Cut long story short, last week Tuesday she woke up, had her bath, ate then stepped out briefly, when she returned we were outta water. Tap water of course. She called my attention to it to which I remained calm. Meanwhile I hadn't eaten neither had I bathed. At noon, she came to me that she was hungry but couldn't cook due to unavailability of water, I then asked her if I am to fetch her water??!.

She said she was gonn take food stuff to her friend's place (upstairs) to cook.
I replied by asking how many of her friends had lacked water and brought food stuff to cook here??!


She got angry and took some money and left


That same Tuesday, I went to see Chelsea game, when I returned, I asked her if she cooked but she didn't dignify me with her attention talk more of a response.
I thought it was rude but considered it as one of the many tantrums of ladies

The following morning, she woke up, acted like I don't exist, couldn't greet... had her bathe and left. Returned, unlocked the door, walked in like I wasn't there, ate, left to her friend's place.

On Thursday she repeated the routine, I called her back when she was going out, I asked her if she considered me as her father, brother or boyfriend that she'd wake up and start throwing attitudes...
I made her understand that I am her benefactor.
Hardly did I finish before she left. She returned and continued in same path and that has continued till this very moment...

Last night she didn't sleep at home, when she returned in the morning, she unlocked the door with her spare, walked in, ate, brushed, dressed and walked out without a single word e come be like say I be ghost.

What I did, I changed the locks, took some stuff, sealed my door with strict instructions to the caretaker then moved to a friends place outside my lodge and I've been there ever since.

She has returned and has been calling my line but I've been ignoring...

Now, is my action too harsh or still in line??!

Kingcalls:
Thats the entitlement mentality women have...imagine say u decide to de hammer am , she will do worse... thats the difference between guys and girls...if na man u accommodate freely...he will sleep on the floor and still act like house boy to u...he will b going on errands free for u and will b fetching the water without u knowing that the is water problem...men are more appreciative than woman and never forget the help u gave them when they were in need ... women act like entitled spoilt kids

KosiGee:
You will live long...Self respect and discipline will take you far and enable you to scale many obstacles and dangerous traps.

I don’t think the girl has been considerate, respectful and appreciative of your help...maybe because of the relationship between your family...maybe she see you as a brother or one of her siblings and felt entitled.

I think this girl acts like this at home and the parents and family might probably be aware of this side of her.

Locking her out for days seem a bit too harsh. You’ve sacrificed your comfort to accommodate and make her more relaxed and welcomed...sit her down, talk sense into her...we don’t all reason the same...a simple lack of consideration, responsibility and appreciation on her part had made your relationship with her worse. It might affect the relationship your family has with hers. I’m sure you were trusted so much by her family hence why they felt assured that their daughter is safe with you...

Maybe you need to talk to your mum and hers as well. Don’t let the narrative change in her favour. Speak to the girl, allow her access to her stuffs.

I’m sure lessons would’ve been learnt and there wouldn’t be a repeat of former behaviours towards you and she’ll think twice before she acts like that towards another person...I might be wrong.

The title of this thread should be...:

Shekau don jam Bin Laden.

daveyjay:
Good day NLers, please I need your take on this.
I'm a student in one of Nigeria's prominent public universities.

A girl decided to vie for admission in my school via the predigree programme but she had no accommodation. Because of the relationship between my parents and hers, I offered to take her in from January till now

I offered a roof over her head.

The first night she came, she slept on the floor and I wasn't okay with that, the following night, I told her she could have the bed, I vacated my bed and relegated myself to sleeping on the floor, we can't share same bed since she's neither my babe nor sister. And this sleeping routine has continued ever since then. The floor is my new bed

I gave her my spare key, uncensored access to my kitchen and everything within my legal occupancy.
Cut long story short, last week Tuesday she woke up, had her bath, ate then stepped out briefly, when she returned we were outta water. Tap water of course. She called my attention to it to which I remained calm. Meanwhile I hadn't eaten neither had I bathed. At noon, she came to me that she was hungry but couldn't cook due to unavailability of water, I then asked her if I am to fetch her water??!.

She said she was gonn take food stuff to her friend's place (upstairs) to cook.
I replied by asking how many of her friends had lacked water and brought food stuff to cook here??!


She got angry and took some money and left


That same Tuesday, I went to see Chelsea game, when I returned, I asked her if she cooked but she didn't dignify me with her attention talk more of a response.
I thought it was rude but considered it as one of the many tantrums of ladies

The following morning, she woke up, acted like I don't exist, couldn't greet... had her bathe and left. Returned, unlocked the door, walked in like I wasn't there, ate, left to her friend's place.

On Thursday she repeated the routine, I called her back when she was going out, I asked her if she considered me as her father, brother or boyfriend that she'd wake up and start throwing attitudes...
I made her understand that I am her benefactor.
Hardly did I finish before she left. She returned and continued in same path and that has continued till this very moment...

Last night she didn't sleep at home, when she returned in the morning, she unlocked the door with her spare, walked in, ate, brushed, dressed and walked out without a single word e come be like say I be ghost.

What I did, I changed the locks, took some stuff, sealed my door with strict instructions to the caretaker then moved to a friends place outside my lodge and I've been there ever since.

She has returned and has been calling my line but I've been ignoring...

Now, is my action too harsh or still in line??!

Richochett:
You don't have any legal right to lock her out of her personal belongings (e.g clothes). If you're not comfortable with her attitude simply tell her to start looking for accommodation.

Moreover, from your narratives I can't see anywhere the girl has wronged you. You're are just acting bossy because its your house

Allow her to enter the house.