Are you asking us to advise you to divorce because legally you guys are married already? As for the anger issue, better find a way of sorting things out because it didn't just started and if you are saying it just started then that may be due to financial pressure on him. But as for the other one, I mean about the woman, talk him into relocating from where you guys are correctly staying, if he refuses, divorce him because even if he wants to change as he promised you, the other lady will not let him go that easily because he had earlier sweet talk her and promised to be there for her even after marriage and women are very good at capitalizing on what a man had earlier promised them.

Run! Please run. My sister is stuck in one. It's easier to walk now than later. Abusive marriages can be exhausting both for the partner and family members. Abusive partners are triggered by as little as picking a phone call while they are sitting beside you.
Please i beg of you RUN!

It will end in TEARS.

Even in marriages without cheating and anger issues, there is lots of quarrels. Then, you add chronic cheating and anger issue, that means hell fire straight. Tell your sister/friend to divorce the man right away before she gets pregnant and complicate issues. Don't listen to any Pastor/Priest/Elder telling her to carry on! This is disaster waiting to happen!

If I get u correctly, court marriage is already conducted. If that's d case, they r already man and wife, other things r mere ceremonies. It's a marriage under d act. Nothing can b done at d moment except divorce proceedings at d High Court.

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

So with all this discovery she still went ahead to do court wedding sha shame on her..... After marriage when she start feeling the heart she should not talk because she knew what she was getting into .....

If you know that you cant cope, you better quit and save yourself from perpetual agony.
Its better you are not married than to Marry today and die tomorrow

Olosho didn't notice all these flaws when she was eating the man money. Now there may be another man in the corner and all of a sudden, her man has become devil. Vagina people always want to eat their cake and have it.

Cancel the marriage, too many red flags .

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

If she's not comfortable spending the rest of her life with him, she should call off the wedding.

alizma:
But as for the other one, I mean about the woman, talk him into relocating from where you guys are correctly staying, if he refuses, divorce him because even if he wants to change as he promised you, the other lady will not let him go that easily because he had earlier sweet talk her and promised to be there for her even after marriage and women are very good at capitalizing on what a man had earlier promised them.

There's nothing to talk about! A man about getting married should be fully focused on his new wife and not still hustling for free coochie. Only thing to talk about is him signing the divorce paper.

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

A Broken courtship is better than a broken Marriage.
Never marry for pity! Never marry for the Crowd.

If you Have no conviction from the Lord, back out! Break off! Break out!

How

lucky999:
no one is perfect,
in this life we have to take a risk,

but if you take a risk and get into trouble, I take God beg you no mention my name

Happy married life in advance....

As a man,the dude shows symptoms of an abusive husband...I pity this girl if she gets married to him

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

If you can tolerate all the listed issues, then go ahead. If you cannot, call his Pastor or Imam or Babalawo and let them know you just discovered these issues and they are a no no.
Better broken engagement than a shattered home.

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

Then undone all that has been done. Case closed.

As long as the pastor hasn't join them together, tell her to remove her shoes and pick race far away from him.

MejiLoyon:
Drop his number and watch others snatch him away from you. Na him go say he no do again.

You just prove to everyone that there's nothing in your head. Kindly give this useless advise to your sisters. Rubbish

Skyfornia:
If your assertion is true then it means your guy is only ready for marriage but not yet ready to settle down.

Ask yourself this question..'Am I ready for marriage or to settle down'?

If your answer is the former then I'll suggest you continue with him but if it is the latter...discard the guy intoto.

You get the point?

How old are you? Definitely, you sound like a young dude.

To the OP, every man has his own flaws. Although, you guys need more time to court. You said you met him and in 5 months, you have already picked a wedding date My dear, the guy has a fucking mate before he met you again. All this takes time to let go of those side chicks.

For him not to want an intruder in his marriage speaks volumes about his maturity. He is indeed matured.

Know his weakness and see if you can help him or try to avoid it. That is why you guys need more time.

Japa, no waste time.

Skyfornia:
If your assertion is true then it means your guy is only ready for marriage but not yet ready to settle down.

Ask yourself this question..'Am I ready for marriage or to settle down'?

If your answer is the former then I'll suggest you continue with him but if it is the latter...discard the guy intoto.

You get the point?

How old are you? Definitely, you sound like a young dude.

To the OP, every man has his own flaws. Although, you guys need more time to court. You said you met him and in 5 months, you have already picked a wedding date My dear, the guy has a fucking mate before he met you again. All this takes time to let go of those side chicks.

For him noàaat to want an intruder in his marriage speaks volumes about his maturity. He is indeed matured.

Know his weakness and see if you can help him or try to avoid it. That is why you guys need more time. A

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

Please save yourself the stress of the marriage and nairaland of another thread when the war starts. There's no love there. Dunt waste everybody's time

Eyah

If you can give me go ahead, I'll air this issue on my radio program, record and send it to you.... My program allows aged and experienced people to call and advise people that are confused regarding certain issue in their life.... Drop your WhatsApp number

Mindlog:


A court wedding means she is legally married before the law but she still feels not because they are yet to do the traditional and Church, which is erroneous.

doesn't matter, she is still married.

what other red flag are you waiting for. maybe if he sleeps with your relatives and beat you up for asking why, you will know what to do

SegFault:

Well, she still has to seal it in the church. So...

lolxx, you are funny. Once court is done, you are legally married. She can only request for a divorce or annulment

From my experience, a day is enough to back out of the wedding. At most people go talk abi. Much more better than being sad all days of your life. People will talk, anyways

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

My matured advice is for you to call off the traditional wedding inorder to avoid living a regretful/sorrowful married life

CSoul:
Thanks for your pieces of advice; she's reading everyone of them. Pains, tears and fears.

Publicity ("Banns of marriage" is part of the church's requirements). So yes, the shame on how to face the family/friends and everyone else that has been told about the marriage.

My dear, leave shame. God forbid if he kills her out of anger, is it not the same family and friends that will come for burial? It's not too late to back off for her own peace of mind

Call it off. That one is not ready for marriage.

[quote author=CSoul post=101302575](Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)
[/quote

You can see the red flags now
A wise woman or lady will break up. A broken relationship is better a broken marriage.

The decision painful but will safe you from unnecessary Marital troubles.

God will help you.