₦airaland Forum

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

EndRape2:
My brother do not let all these immature mummy's boy deceive you here, you are the one that is not mature and in considerate.

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple

Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues.

andyanders:
You have said it all. The mistake op made herein, is presenting her mom as the one that brought up the idea. This will be a big problem in future if they settle and get married. The mother will be her worst enemy. For me, I'll not proceed and will take a walk.

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

OyinNurse:
I understand where she is coming from. Every woman has her own vision of what her dream wedding will be, but she should also be ready to make compromises since she is not contributing financially to anything. It is selfish and childish of her to insist on her own way to the detriment of her man's finances. It is a rare and loving man that will agree to shoulder 100% of wedding festivities and she should count herself lucky and stop being petulant. I was a post-graduate student when my husband married me. I had a little to contribute but he sponsored the bulk of the wedding. Yes, I wanted a dream wedding but Life After the Wedding Hoopla was more important to me. As a team, we put heads together to figure out ways to cut costs while still making the Day memorable. Back then, I had friends that had broke the bank to have lavish society wedding only to end up with bad credit and a mountain of debt after the wedding and a few of them are even no longer with their spouses. We, on the other hand, ended up having a blast on our wedding day and still managed to remain financially bouyant enough to purchase our dream house soon after.

Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple

Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues.

Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple

Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues.

zoezoelogistics:
Very wise submission.

I have been married for over 10 years now, i can relate to your point of view.

I don't ever tell my wife, my mum said this or that, even if it is the wisest suggestion ever.
I always present it as my idea.
I show her with facts and figure why it is reasonable to go that route and not the other way we had wanted to.

It takes wisdom to be a husband and to run the home without any/much issues, decision-wise.

OP, call her, calm her down and present your solid reasons, don't emphasize who brought the idea/suggestion.

If she refuses to see reasons and would not still contribute financially, then you need to really have a rethink about the whole thing.

Reality about her person will dawn on you in marriage proper. Assess the whole thing now that you have the opportunity. This is if she doesn't bulge.

realman42:
All these naija weddings sef.My wedding won't have more than 100 pipul.Beautiful location,beautiful gown, nice suit, and nice pictures dats all.

duduade:
Red flags

Are you sure this one will hear word in the house like this... Marriage isnt about the wedding abeg.. And i suppose till now she hasnt called you to "lets sort this out" ... No communication... This one will bully you till you fall for her demands... Is this a wife material...



She wants a dream wedding and isnt ready to contribute to it financially


The 500 to 600k is money that can be saved and diverted to something else better. Her priorities are different from yours... Obviously not well matured...


I were in your shoes... I will put ALL PLANS on hold until both parties come to the middle..


In short walk away why you can... Cancelling an engagement wont kill you...

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

Annoms:
I was thinking I was the one that's not considerate when she was screaming on the phone yesterday. This harsh times, one needs to spend money judiciously. Imagine spending 3-4m over 2 sets wedding when I can do all in one day for 2m sef..

Thanks brother

Kokaine:
Wrongest approach! In Marriage no one is doing anyone any favour.
You are the man. Always make it look like you're doing her a favour by marrying her even if you don't say it expressly. Let it be clear that you are aware that many women will give their fairy tooth to marry you in this period where marriages are hard. She should be grateful you are picking her from the millions of available women who will do all your biddings to be your wife.

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

luminouz:
You still blamed the guy?

If he were rich enough, would money be the issue? The gf already flared up without contributing kobo to her own wedding and yet still managed to act like she is doing OP a favour?

Wonders won't end oooooo...

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

luminouz:
Mama the mama, your maturity as usual is top notch. We need more women like on NL.
Chai...why you no come get younger sister or niece to gimme?

BRATISLAVA:
Even those who have nonsensical small weddings still have bad marriages, so all this talk about cheap weddings is pointless. Do what you like, don't try and pin the success of any marriage on the cost.

Some people want them big, others want them small. At the end of the day it is the two people involved who will make it work. Not by how cheap or expensive it is.

michaelpop50:
Na ashawo you won marry so oh. N.