francdec4:
If you don't mind may I ask is she behaving well at the moment or the yes sir yes sir was to enter the house first?

She nah normal nice girl
She probably been want that lavish kind of wedding
For don boast to her friends about it

She cool now

joceey:
My brother,listen to your mum advice and pls dont mind that your fiancee ,you are the person paying all the bills for the wedding both trad and white.Na you know how your pocket be.If after the wedding no money again na your mum ,you go still run meet while she go sit down dey look and dey talk say she be corper be wise my brother.

Don't mind him. That foolish girl doesn't know how to utilize funds

In

divads:
All the people saying dont tell her your mom suggested it bla bla bla.. I don't get.

What's wrong with your mum giving her opinion on her son's wedding?

Why should you claim your moms suggestion is yours.

Any wife that's does not agree with a reasonable suggestion because it's coming from a mother in law is not a good one.

Hey babe this is what my mom suggested. I think it's fine.. what do you think? Talk to your parents about it and hear their opinion too. Considering there's no money on ground

As in ehn!
I am taken aback to many comments saying he should not have brought his mom in.
For marriage matter!
If she no like him mama?
What is the essence of him getting married in the first place

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

My brother am an Igbo, let me tell u, if she insist on having d 2 in separate occasions, let her foot d bill if not, dump her. Enough of all this nonsense

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

/

Never tell your wife that your action is based on a third party’s (especially your mother) suggestion.

Buy a notebook. Start writing down all the expenses you will incur in this marriage. It is very important because two years down the line after the fast-coming divorce, you will beat yourself hard for wasting all that fund trying to please a train wreck.

Any lady who still believe in glamour in this cash crunch era instead of thinking ahead deserves to be left alone. Memory of the best wedding lasts only about a week.

Be in-charge. Remember it can only get worse from here. She is not a wife or she is still immature. Either way, FLEE!
/

My brother, hmmm, Serious Red Flag!
Why was she flaring up? Will your mother give you a bad advice? Won't it help you both? All these modern children that date a man for 2yrs now think they love him more than his mother?? If she has issues with taking advice from your mum, she won't listen to you oo.
An aspiring corper too? Bros your wahala plenty no be lie. Suspend everything for now. She isn't ready for marriage. Ask her her plans after the wedding and judge for yourself!
I can tell you from experience, don't give in to her demands if you want peace in the future.
Pls don't make the same mistake some of us made...
Talk to her calmly, if she shout, end the matter. She no be wife at all

Evelyncharles1:


If u marry dat girl she will grow in the marriage to hate ur mum, next time say it ask if u suggested it and don't let her know it was an advice given to u, ur mum is right things are hard, there is life after marriage, dat lady is not a wife material if she is, she will support the idea cus is the right thing to do now in this economy, she jst wants to show off, like impress her frds, my dear am a woman o, married with 3kids my advice for u is run, cus even hearing dat ur mom suggested it would her make her to calm and understand dat is jst to save cost, for her to shout after hearing ur mom, chai a big no no, but most men this days are blind wen dey see fine girl and not find character

Oga OP , I been no waan chook mouth cos I be proud member of comments readers association but this lady advice touch my placenta .. na woman de give you this life saving advice o .

You know as Mbappe de do if he wann score Barcelona?

Run ooooooooooooo

Frales6:


After wedding she go enter hunger strike na and maybe by then she go begin abuse the husband say he no fit take care of her not knowing say na the money them use go feed people wey be say after wedding everybody don disappear

Haha!
No be small disappearance .
Unnecessary expenses.

His.but since he has spoilt her what do you expect ?reason I said sit her down n let them both reason like adult .

uthlaw:
think about what....who owns the money!

Bro if you don't succumb to her demand for a marriage /wedding above your budget, my God will bless you and being a simp will never be your portion. But if you fall my hand las las in the name of love, I promise you the full wrath of jezebel. All I'm saying is you are the one calling the shots here and if she wants something else, she can go ahead and pay for it if she can. Money wen go reach invest on something lucrative na him u wan finish for common overrated wedding. Normally, na to pay bride price then carry wifey enter house be the right way to go about marriage but white man's culture of wedding just dey turn marriage to something else

Annoms:

I was thinking I was the one that's not considerate when she was screaming on the phone yesterday. This harsh times, one needs to spend money judiciously. Imagine spending 3-4m over 2 sets wedding when I can do all in one day for 2m sef..

Thanks brother

Bro what I am about to say is an unpopular opinion but I feel you also goofed in:
1. Not first discussing it with her
2. Putting it to her that it was coming from your mom and not you.

NB: for something that important, you should have discussed with her first before seeking the opinion of family and friends. Every woman wants a man who is in charge. Women get skeptical about men who are dictated to by others.

The girl's anger may not necessarily be because of the village but the fact that such an important day of her life is being decided/dictated by others. Selah

MeghaneMorgane:


Don’t ever make your wife feel this way. If she made it clear to you that she can dump you and be with another man will you like it. If any man does this to me, I’ll leave his sorry ass. I’m a big asset to any man that will marry me. My whole family has said it. My brother even said he is praying for someone like me as a wife. Any man that marries me is doing himself a very big favour.

Na that your family and your brother go still print your phone numbers and your Facebook name for fliers share for Shiloh ground when you don de clock 35 ...
De there de form Asset when in reality you no fit cough 500k for your wedding and Una go de expect one man to go bankrupt in the name of wedding

Cancel the fokn wedding and watch her crawling back to beg you. E easy to find husband? No let her manipulate you fa

Georgejeez:


Na that your family and your brother go still print your phone numbers and your Facebook name for fliers share for Shiloh ground when you don de clock 35 ...
De there de form Asset when in reality you no fit cough 500k for your wedding and Una go de expect one man to go bankrupt in the name of wedding

. You are definitely not referring to me

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

why are even doing the two, traditional wedding is enough bro... you are wasting your resources doing the both as for me I done make up my mind I will only do the traditional wedding... to hell with white wedding.... period!

Put that 500k in piggyvest with 8٪ interest...

Your comment shows how damaged you are, and need help, you really need a paychatrist to help you out before it is late, it is very obvious your own mum has brain washed you, and before you know it, you will become a 50years old man, with regreats all over, write it down.

Common sense , your mum does not want you to spend on your wife and family not because she likes you, but because she wants you to spend it on her, that is greed and selfishness from her,

If you are a mummy's boy you so not need to get Marry, stay with your mother let her use you for ever,

You do not need to marry because others are marrying or you need children, stay with your mum and old with her,

Mumu you better go for deliverance , or you will be frustrated under your mother's slavery till you old and die.



Since you are single and not married , please Marry your mother, since he is the one that loves and will tell you the truth.

Mumu mummy boy s

quote author=escapefromusa post=101819456]

Manipulations of a she devil:
Mummy boy
Real man
Man enough
Aren't you a man
You are a man

They hate the so called mummys boy becuase they are hard to manipulate.

Just like OP was about spend twice for what he could for half. And Mommy came with insight... boom manipulation busted.

Always listen to your mothers. Even when they give unsound advice the objective is always for your best. These witches are looking for men to drain one way or the other. So they can get body enhancements... travel to UAE and sleep with 15 yr old Arab princes.

OP your future wife is no different. Because las las na one fine boy with body odour, six packs and N630 in his bank account will kpansh your girl like $2 tramp for camp.

In Nigeria once a girl .. that has bore you no children or never sacrifice something for your benefit challenges you ... wahala dey. And your not even married and she telling what to do, not asking what should we do.[/quote]

Eeya, them Don break this one heart reason he thinks every girl wants to eat his money , is this your mum's advice meaning is same thing your mum did to your dad, reason she keep telling you all women wants to eat you and run
Mothers do not want other women to do to their sons what they did to their husband, not knowing their husband is some one else's son, and they will do same to their son, Las last karma nah bitch, no matter how they protect their children =, their children will keep having heart break and dissapointment , because what they are teaching the children is all lies.





uote author=escapefromusa post=101819456]

Manipulations of a she devil:
Mummy boy
Real man
Man enough
Aren't you a man
You are a man

They hate the so called mummys boy becuase they are hard to manipulate.

Just like OP was about spend twice for what he could for half. And Mommy came with insight... boom manipulation busted.

Always listen to your mothers. Even when they give unsound advice the objective is always for your best. These witches are looking for men to drain one way or the other. So they can get body enhancements... travel to UAE and sleep with 15 yr old Arab princes.

OP your future wife is no different. Because las las na one fine boy with body odour, six packs and N630 in his bank account will kpansh your girl like $2 tramp for camp.

In Nigeria once a girl .. that has bore you no children or never sacrifice something for your benefit challenges you ... wahala dey. And your not even married and she telling what to do, not asking what should we do.[/quote]

Brunosamel:
why are even doing the two, traditional wedding is enough bro... you are wasting your resources doing the both as for me I done make up my mind I will only do the traditional wedding... to hell with white wedding.... period!

Put that 500k in piggyvest with 8٪ interest...

guy you de para o ,,to hell with white wedding , hahahaha

Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple

Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues.

Exactly my thoughts. He should have presented it like his own thoughts seeing that it was reasonable, saves cost and he aligned with it.

Op, she is feeling threatened that you might be a Mummy's boy, taking any suggestion Mummy gives without consultation with her and sincerely, that would be disastrous in a maariage.

Now, make her realize that your main concern is about the finance seeing that you would spend less if done that way. Also, help her see that you are budgeting so and so amount which might be exceeded if you do it in different locations. Also, let her know that you're saving for the marriage itself.

To God who made me ,as a typical Niger Delta boy .

If an upcoming Otondo Corper who possibly haven't worked all her life to know how hard it is to save one million in this Buhari regime can flare up because my Mum suggested (not imposed) a way for we to cut costs in our forthcoming wedding ceremonies while hell bent on she and her family not contributing a dime to assist me financially in the whole plans ..

Then my response will be to look for one of her beautiful,educated , hard working and matured reasoning friend ASAP to settle down with , Otondo Corper will receive our marriage introduction invitation card within a month ..

I hate nonsense ,thank God many men are beginning to realise that marriage favour women the most .

The one when pain me pass na say after senior braa don waste 4 million finish for marriage ,she go come go do NYSC ,dem Generals ,camp commandants , broke ass corpers and fellowship papas go begin confuse her then begin,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

Just imagine! And you are still wondering what to do?!

Abeg bring that transport money to me. You'll get it back with huge interest before December. You can get a lawyer let's do the deal.

I'd have asked you to abandon the wedding for now.. But that's left to you (cos as humans, we've our faults). One of the worst things you can do to yourself is trying to please an ingrate (a parasitic one is even worse). A sign of a matured mind is to identify wisdom and take it, no matter the source (in this case your mum). I can guess that
1. this lady would not allow people she deems “less qualified” to advise her. This could include you, if (God forbid) you lose your job, or when she don see you finish.
2. She thinks a good wedding is based on how much is spent & not how well it was planned; which is a kind of inferiority complex - meaning you're ready for marriage & she's not.
I'll advise you spend some more time studying this lady & decide if you want to go ahead with the wedding.

DropsMic:
..


A real man doesn't discuss his relationship problems on a public forum


..

Shutup abeg


We dy learn from such public forums

Left for only me 5 from husband family, 5 from mine. The rest of the money I and hubby will plan our lives together.
God has revealed who she truly is. Run brother, run. Don't come and die cause of some ladies day dreams.
Listen to your mum and move. No time

Georgejeez:


guy you de para o ,,to hell with white wedding , hahahaha

all my sisters did there traditional wedding with no white wedding and they are doing fine in there various home, two inlaw building houses at the same time... they paid everything in full no item was missing, tomorrow person go dey tell me about white wedding... wey if you invest the money for ordinary piggyvest it will grow, can even become emergency fund for the family... Nigeria hard brother.

Dump her

Stefenijoan002:
His.but since he has spoilt her what do you expect ?reason I said sit her down n let them both reason like adult .

na true Sha.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9naBaJRjmSU

rita25:
tell ur mother to stop controlling you and giving you ideas no one has appointed her finance officer in your home better curb it now before it escalate

Sorry to say this,but you are a fool and empty headed and probably from a dirt-poor family.
That's why the import of the whole advice (saving costs) does not mean a thing to you.

Brunosamel:
all my sisters did there traditional wedding with no white wedding and they are doing fine in there various home, two inlaw building houses at the same time... they paid everything in full no item was missing, tomorrow person go dey tell me about white wedding... wey if you invest the money for ordinary piggyvest it will grow, can even become emergency fund for the family... Nigeria hard brother.

My own sister did an elaborate trad last December and elaborate church wedding in her husband's state but d difference is that d trad was 101% funded my family.
In fact,when she and her hubby came for my grandma's funeral recently,popsy gave the husband 10k for fuel and we still loaded their booth with foodstuff,canned drinks,smoked meat etc.
My sis is 28 but has been lecturing in a federal polytechnic with a masters degree for d past 4years so she's also bringing a lot to the table.
But here is an idiot who is only bringing a vagina and womb to the table requesting the op should spend lavishly when she is not contributing a dime.
It's very clear she's from a wretched background cos na only dem de reason like that,afterall op said he's d one that's gonna fund even the trad.

My brother, you know your pocket,if I were you,I will follow mum's advise,I can't use all my earnings for one day event to impress people,so make her to understand that it's for the good of both of you,so there will be money to enjoy the marriage instead of managing or paying debts after the marriage.

BruncleZuma:


[img]https://media1./images/35094ffd0223e145af0b235a8e0b9157/tenor.gif?itemid=15415824[/img]

And you think your solution lies in Nairaland?

Bad boy