YungMillionaire:


You don't support divorce then what do you support? Should he kill her instead? Will that be more acceptable to you than divorce?

Bhus21:


Lol at I have no game. What is this game you speak of? Is it to get women into bed. Don't worry bro, na women dey chase me, I dey turn dem down steadily.

Crying is a natural and healthy response to emotional anguish. Let go of your toxic masculinity. This man here cries and is very secure in his masculinity. If any woman is offended by it, she's the one with the problem, not the crying man who's in pain and having a natural response to emotional pain.

Of course, what's going on is painful and no I didn't beg. I pointed out the reality of what she's choosing and how foolish it is. Woman no be my problem but my 3 kids will only have one mother and I must bury my ego for their sake.

okpanachil:

Damn bro I love this . I will pray for you and your family.May God guide you in your decision making.

jesmond3945:
you have not answered the question, have you cheated on your wife ever before?
Question number 2, have you laid your hands on your wife ever before?
Question 3, do you have a love child somewhere else?
Final question, have you had course to be away from her through distance or you neglected her needs due to work stress?
Answer truthfully.

Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.

Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.

Bhus21:


Thank you, we need plenty of prayers as I also believe there's a supernatural component to all of this. If I didn't believe a devil existed before, I do now. The level of evil I've seen in the last few weeks is unfathomable. But My Lord pass am and we go overcome.

Bhus21:


Jesus did ask her to go and sin no more. He didn't condemn her to death. Suggesting that there is redemption available to all even an adulterous woman. No?

Bhus21:


I'm just in a holding pattern now and seeing how things go. She's doing therapy and I'm learning to manage my emotions. Some days are better than others but on the whole, I'm better at self-regulating. I view all of this as an opportunity to build my own self. I'm looking inwards, building mental strength and increasing my resilience. I know I will need it for the future.

Hashabiah:
[s][/s] You have the heart of a fool

gentlestdude:
Mumu man dey do research while the wife dey ride big gbola. if you be my senior brother I fit slap sense enter your empty 'matured' head. So kids from broken home can't make it in life abi? you are just damn stupid man, that's my conclusion after reading all your responses. How are you even sure they are your kids? otondo man

Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.

AishaYesufu:

Fact... Attractiveness, handsomeness and status don't buy women's loyalty, they only attract them to men. What ultimately gets their loyalty depends on whether the man is alpha or simp.

OP is Grade A simp

RightToReject:
Don't tell me that you'll grant her a divorce just like that without first subjecting her to severe cruelty that will last her for a lifetime - this should be the way, unless you haven't been fair to her from the inception, thus her action now. When you allow people to continually have their cake and eat it, you automatically become an enabler of their inhumaneness in particular and evil in general.

Winneygirl:
Take some time.
Have a heart to heart talk with her. So you ask the questions that are burning in your heart.
So you can know if your marriage is salvageable...
That is the first step.

Lorayne:

You re too nice. Probably why she cheated... Women don't really like nice guys... They prefer the bad boys. It's obvious no matter what advice you re given you'll still want to work things out. She already told you she wants out. Don't try to force it. Let her go. If she tries to work things out it's because of pity not because she wants to

AishaYesufu:

What manner of humans are feminists?

The woman that was brought to Jesus was a prostitute not an adulterous wife. Jesus did condemned stoning her to death but scolded her and asked her not to indulge in sin anymore.

This is completely different from adultery. An adulterous woman has defiled the marital bed and broken vow, therefore deserves to be sent away. Christ even acknowledged this fact in Matthew 9.

You people should read the Bible and stop talking nonsense.

JovialJune:



The earlier you guys stop deluding and consoling yourselves about this bad boy rubbish phrase y'all keep spilling about, the better for you.

Matheusmartin:
.
You can be rich, attractive and doing well and still be a simp.

Reading your write up dey make me vex..

Lorayne:

It's just the truth ma'am.

Bhus21:


Ambivalent, non-committal, not remorseful. This was shocking to me to be honest. I thought to myself that it's all over. Was ok to go ahead with the divorce but the thought of ripping apart the world of my 3 small kids couldn't let me do it. I had to persist and encourage her to go to therapy for herself first and then counselling for us both afterwards to give it a shot. I said to her that when our kids are older, they're going to ask if we tried all we could to keep the family together. We need to be able to look them in the eye and say we did. [b]So that's why I haven't packed my stuff and moved out yet. [/b]I was very close to doing it but it wouldn't have been the wisest thing to do. It might yet happen but I know I have to give it time and make decisions with a clear head.

JovialJune:
I don't want to sound stone cold, but I have to say this;

The ratio of cheating wives to husbands is 30%:70%, Op is just one out of the rare instances of cheating wives. Similarly, if we are to go by the number of threads created by wives here whose husbands have side chicks and slaps it in their face constantly without remorse or regard for the wife and her feelings, and then the usual BS advice of so many men/confused women who'd advice the wife to take heart, pray for the cheating husband to change, go for counseling, pray that God should cause confusion between the side chick and husband, watch WAR ROOM and go on daily fasting, the wife should take heart and stay in the marriage becos of the kids, men are polygamous in nature etc.

Op is already aware that staying cos of kids seems like the best option, not actually rare for a man, cos it happens in the society with men keeping mum about it, but nairaland boys like to deceive themselves and boast of their online reality like the world starts and ends on the internet.

So Op should apply the bolded, see himself as the husband in the context, and hope for the best,

Goodluck.

Bhus21:


Is my life at risk? No, unfaithful spouses do not go around killing their partners and the father to their 3 children who is the sole provider for them.

What are the risks to my wellbeing? Divorce puts me at a 90% chance of a mental disorder.

What are the odds that someone who's apparently 'out of the union' returns and re-commits to the marriage. Somewhere around 30 - 50%.

It's quite obvious what the logical thing to do is. So remove your emotions for a minute like I'm doing and think logically. Working to first salvage the marriage via therapy and counselling is the best initial course of action. Divorce is not running anywhere, it's still an option.