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My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by SweetCuntess: 5:37pm On May 26
shopwiser:
Oga go for DNA test...it will even be sweet if the kid ain't yours....cut ties with that Jezebel and her infirments...Walk as a free man... Marriage is a scam...I will never marry...these women always have nothing to offer.. my prayer is let the kids not be urs self.. you just dodged a bullet you don't know what God has done for you sha. Do DNA test on those kids
It's worse if d kids ain't his ooo cos that would mean his kini has been useless and 10 years wasted without nothing to show

3 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by RightToReject(m): 5:41pm On May 26
Bobbyjay001:


Which type of cruelty/trauma do you suggest he put her to? I want to learn one or two things pls.

Calm down. Don't be cruel to a woman who hasn't deliberately and continually meted out pernicious acts on you directly or indirectly.

3 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by MejiLoyon(m): 5:41pm On May 26
Of all these advice... None has been personally affected. So I'll give you from an experienced point of view. Speed the divorce and live your life. Spend your money and take care of your kids. Find a maid or use mom. Sleeping with a cheating woman leads to death. Your death. Forget all these Christian balderdash. Run oooo. I no go talk pass this one

8 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by revived2: 5:47pm On May 26
MejiLoyon:
Of all these advice... None has been personally affected. So I'll give you from an experienced point of view. Speed the divorce and live your life. Spend your money and take care of your kids. Find a maid or use mom. Sleeping with a cheating woman leads to death. Your death. Forget all these Christian balderdash. Run oooo. I no go talk pass this one

Op
E Go Be For You If You No Obey This
Aje, E Go Just Be For You
Cuz The Person You Called Your Wife Will Do Anything To Satisfy Her New Lover Even If It Includes Taking Your Life.

E Go Be For You sad

Infact E Dun Be For You Sef sad

5 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by revived2: 5:48pm On May 26
MejiLoyon:
Of all these advice... None has been personally affected. So I'll give you from an experienced point of view. Speed the divorce and live your life. Spend your money and take care of your kids. Find a maid or use mom. Sleeping with a cheating woman leads to death. Your death. Forget all these Christian balderdash. Run oooo. I no go talk pass this one

Op @ Bhus21
E Go Be For You If You No Obey This
Aje, E Go Just Be For You
Cuz The Person You Called Your Wife Will Do Anything To Satisfy Her New Lover Even If It Includes Taking Your Life.

E Go Be For You sad

Infact E Dun Be For You Sef sad
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bobbyjay001(m): 5:57pm On May 26
RightToReject:


Calm down. Don't be cruel to a woman who hasn't deliberately and continually meted out pernicious acts on you directly or indirectly.

No,i am just curious and interested in what he has to dish out. It's just for fun.
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by ShadowCracker(m): 6:10pm On May 26
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.
What kind of men are we producing this days, shame.

I have no pity for you angry.

You have chosen to be blind to the harsh truth of life.

This not even about Love, it's about respect.

Your wife does not respect you, you don't command respect.

You know what must be done but you are to weak to get it done.

Let me just leave this, a wife that cheat's won't hesitate to kill you.

When we tell you to take redpill you won't listen.

14 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by stacyadams: 6:21pm On May 26
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.

Nothing u fit do bout am bro
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by prettysassygirl(f): 6:37pm On May 26
Take heart is all I can say
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by eduj(m): 6:55pm On May 26
olabrinks:
Have you ever cheated on her?
What is your communication level like ?
Does she seem to be going through a phase of boredom?
Your marriage can still be revived, but it needs the effort of both parties. A lot of men have experienced infidelity on the women’s part and have quietly resolved issues and moved on with their family in tact. Women rarely cheat for no reason, you really need to dig deep and find out what the issue is before taking any further action.
if a lady I have a relationship with cheats me out of "boredom", I will end the relationship out of "excitement".
Men who forgive a cheating woman are mostly those who cheat or are financially dependent. A well to do man who doesn't cheat will find it very difficult to take back a cheating partner

6 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by eduj(m): 7:00pm On May 26
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.
it seems you cheat too or you're financially dependent on her . You just sound so accepting of the fact,almost as if you're low on confidence

8 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by lanre9ja(m): 7:26pm On May 26
This matter deep gon...
[color=#990000][/color]
My advice:
1. A wife that doesn't care about u knowing her infidelity can kill u at any time to satisfy her self
2. In the this situation DNA is very necessary before granting her wish (divorce) for u not to father another man children
3. Do the needful for ur freedom because once a cheater will always be a cheater ur mind can never get pass that.
4. Freedom is free....


MY PEACE OF ADVICE BRO
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Janosky: 7:31pm On May 26
Bhus21:


Yes, we had a low conflict marriage. Of course, there were the usual challenges of marriage but nothing insurmountable. And not like I wasn't willing to improve and work on it. In fact, I've steadily improved as a husband by her own admission. This particular act is entirely inexplicable to me so I'm still trying to make sense of it all.

Bros, was she a virgin when you married her?
Whether yes or no,it's of little relevance now.
You got her pregnant 3 times but maybe you have failed to hit her center of gravity even once.
Women rarely leave a man who shag their brains out.
grin grin

Now she's finally found a freak to do collabo in the other room, she's not gonna come back to your loving arms.
(Abeg you must do Paternity Test, I no trust wetin my mind dey tell me about that woman).


Learn from the experience and live without a bitter heart towards women.

Likely she wasn't meant for you but you failed to read the writing on the wall.

Just let her go & pick up the pieces and move on.

1 Like

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by AbujaCitiBlog: 7:33pm On May 26
Winneygirl:
Take some time.
Have a heart to heart talk with her. So you ask the questions that are burning in your heart.
So you can know if your marriage is salvageable...
That is the first step.
You are an adulterer, that is why you are suggesting this. A woman was confronted about her adulterous ways but instead of acknowledgement of her mistake, she proudly admits it and says she wants a divorce. Forget matter.

6 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Janosky: 7:42pm On May 26
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.
Christlike solution is in Matthew 19:9 ,Matthew 5:23 & 1 Corinthians 7:15.


[i]The story of the adulterous woman & Jesus Christ is NOT actually genuine, the story is of doubtful origin ooo. (The oldest Bible manuscripts have ZERO record of that doubtful story. Yes !!!).

Listen to this song chorus :
"When a woman's fed up" by R.Kelly.


'".Cause when a woman's fed up
No matter how you beg, no
It ain't nothing you can do about it (nothing you can do about it)
Oh no, it's just like running out of love
No matter what you say, no
And then it's too late to talk about it (too late to talk about it)
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh, ah, listen, if you don't want to find out the hard way
Then listen to this song while the record plays
When a woman's fed up
Mama taught me along time ago
It ain't nothing you can do about it (nothing you can do about it)
Oh no, it's like running out of love (running out of love)
No matter what you say, no (singin')
And then it's too late to talk about it (too late to talk about it)
Yeah (when a woman's fed up)

You can cry a river
'Til an ocean starts to form, yeah
But she will always remember
'Cause she's a woman scorned
And if you ever get her back
It will never be the same
She's cuttin' the corners of her eyes
Every time she see your face
Now your trust is out the door
She don't want you no more"

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by crackhaus: 7:47pm On May 26
Bhus21:

Certainly allowing people who've done bad things to eat their cake and have it is not a good thing. Being cruel deliberately on the other hand is not a good thing either. I'm by nature a kind person that hates wahala. I also recognize that because of our kids we will always have a connection. So while cruelty may be temporarily soothing, it will have long-term negative effects for everyone involved such that it's not worthwhile.

Several people here have rushed to suggest divorce. The challenge with divorce is that you are just replacing one problem with another problem that's potentially more complex and difficult. So divorce may be the ultimate answer but it doesn't come without its challenges so the decision must not be taken lightly.
You see this sermon you're preaching, you should direct it to your wife (fictional or not).

She's the one who suggested divorce, not the "several people" here...
Don't get yourself confused.
Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.

7 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by theForth: 7:52pm On May 26
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.
youre a senseless man with no self worth oga, dont reward bad behaviours.. Chai.

4 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by rex444(m): 7:54pm On May 26
Irrespective of our deeds, God loves us all and wants the best for her too....what if she is fine afterwards?
Just take heart mehn
Hashabiah:
God will heal you my brother. My advice : Give her the divorce she desires and set yourself free from her evil . Because I forsee evil untold befalling her, and you should separate yourself from her quickly lest you be consumed when God decides to visit judgment on her

1 Like

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by willybaby(m): 7:56pm On May 26
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.
what men go through, your free to cry, weep, play with your kids anything to soothe your soul cause it seems her mind abi love ain't on you no more, let her go bro no need keeping a woman who ain't ready to give you her half talk more all of her
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Hashabiah: 8:03pm On May 26
rex444:
Irrespective of our deeds, God loves us all and wants the best for her too....what if she is fine afterwards?
Just take heart mehn
Fine? No woman can be "fine " after being caught in adultery.
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by OKOATA(m): 8:13pm On May 26
Bhus21:
A few posters think this is a made-up scenario. Even me in the situation the thing be me like film. I keep thinking I will pinch myself one day and wake up from this nightmare.

What's worse is is that you don't even know near half of the story. For example, the fact that I warned her about the guy before. Cried and begged her to stay away from him. She didn't listen and went ahead to sleep with him. So the betrayal is a very deep one.

One poster said I am a weak man. I can tell you for a fact that the easiest thing to do is to walk away and not look back. I am young, successful, and attractive so a new relationship is the least of my worries. My biggest concern, and why I'm trying to act rationally is because of our 3 young kids. They are innocent and didn't ask for any of this so I'm trying to ensure their well-being. If we divorce, we are going to rip their world apart so suddenly and cruelly. No kid deserves that at all.

Bros you go soon receive heavy knock for head, you are thinking about your kids that's your reason for not divorcing, firstly ascertain their partenity and I guess you must have done that, free that woman u call wife, she belongs to the street and have no pity for her, be cruel and focus on your kids life and let her move on. You can't force her or she will put poison in ur food someday and when you die no one will take care of the kids you so much cherish. Your mom's still alive or any relatives if you can't handle the responsibilitys alone or better still send them to the boarding house, all these flower dinner night and those things you de do bro na simping, ur wife's cheating so u prefer to catch disease from her? Give her the divorce and let her be, alone u were in ur mothers womb o before someone came along, I know it's painful but let her be, free the harlot.

6 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by jesmond3945: 8:30pm On May 26
Bhus21:


I have an issue with the idea that women rarely cheat for no reason. Of course, every marriage has its ups and downs, does that justify cheating? What's the point of a vow and commitment then?

If you want to end a marriage, cheating is not the way to do it. End it the right way then go off with whoever you want to go off with. If you feel neglected or offended. Seek help with communicating well and if it doesn't work, leave. Cheating unapologetically makes the situation 10 times worse not better.

you have not answered the question, have you cheated on your wife ever before?
Question number 2, have you laid your hands on your wife ever before?
Question 3, do you have a love child somewhere else?
Final question, have you had course to be away from her through distance or you neglected her needs due to work stress?
Answer truthfully.

4 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Azammmi: 8:34pm On May 26
Guy u vex me to my soul , go have some red pill it will help
Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.

4 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by arzizhy: 8:39pm On May 26
Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.

You are going to heal brother. I was in this situation 10 months ago.
I am in a better place now.

1 Like

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by olabrinks(f): 8:39pm On May 26
Bhus21:


I have an issue with the idea that women rarely cheat for no reason. Of course, every marriage has its ups and downs, does that justify cheating? What's the point of a vow and commitment then?

If you want to end a marriage, cheating is not the way to do it. End it the right way then go off with whoever you want to go off with. If you feel neglected or offended. Seek help with communicating well and if it doesn't work, leave. Cheating unapologetically makes the situation 10 times worse not better.

if everybody did things the right or the way we envision, we would never have problems in life. Unfortunately in life you have to accept that people will not always handle situations the right or the way you would like. You can gain control of these situations by using wisdom, involving third parties, getting to the root of the problem and flipping It to your advantage. Mr man you have to sit down and ask yourself if you really want this marriage and If you think your wife will Co operate. This is not going to happen over night, it will take months of trial and error. Time will heal you and unveil the destiny of your situation.
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Donpenny(m): 8:41pm On May 26
Grant her wish, move on, free your mind, refresh and seek for fun and happiness by so doing you'll become more youthful and energetic. Look for fresh baby to satisfy your sexual urge whenever you need to. Save some of your family pictures with the kids and their mother somewhere safe, your're gonna need them to convince your kids when time comes to reclaimed them. Let her go with the kids for the meantime because they are still small they will stress you . Let them stay with their mother but be checking on them occasionally. Live your life to the fullest. Be a real niga
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Lorayne(m): 8:42pm On May 26
Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.
Please, don't think of saving this marriage. I beg you. She doesn't love you no more and she'll definitely cheat again. Your kids will be just fine. You can have shared custody.



It's obvious she doesn't respect you. Pls grow some balls and divorce that woman.

4 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by olabrinks(f): 8:46pm On May 26
eduj:

if a lady I have a relationship with cheats me out of "boredom", I will end the relationship out of "excitement".
Men who forgive a cheating woman are mostly those who cheat or are financially dependent. A well to do man who doesn't cheat will find it very difficult to take back a cheating partner
of course because you’re not married and have never been tied to woman for 10years plus with children and many investments. You have never been in that situation so you don’t understand. But a man who has invested his youth, time, effort, money, hard work into a marriage with children involved will be more reluctant to let that go even with infidelity.

3 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by eduj(m): 8:50pm On May 26
olabrinks:
of course because you’re not married and have never been tied to woman for 10years plus with children and many investments. You have never been in that situation so you don’t understand. But a man who has invested his youth, time, effort, money, hard work into a marriage with children involved will be more reluctant to let that go even with infidelity.
A woman who will trash the above scenario you painted- 10 years of marriage,kids and investments by cheating etc, by cheating is not worth keeping.
Only if oga is cheating can he continue.

7 Likes

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Uyoukowise(m): 8:53pm On May 26
Winneygirl:


Prophet Hashabiah,
Since you have brought Jesus into the matter, let me quote the bible here between Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. John 8: 7-11

"7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!”
8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman.
10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11 “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”


WHY DID YOU NOT READ FROM MATTHEW 5:32

1 Like

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by MARKone(m): 8:57pm On May 26
Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.

You'd be fine my brother, some of us have been through worse. My advice, when giving her the divorce, don't look back.

1 Like

Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 8:58pm On May 26
arzizhy:


You are going to heal brother. I was in this situation 10 months ago.
I am in a better place now.

What was your experience like? Care to share?

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