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Stats: 2,691,946 members, 6,343,146 topics. Date: Thursday, 17 June 2021 at 09:17 AM
My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help / Zimbabwean Man Takes Used Condoms To Court As Prove Of Sister Inlaw’s Infidelity / Infidelity: Wives, Mistresses’ Fights Get Messier, Spill To Social Media (pics) (2) (3) (4)
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 8:34am On May 30|
Certain things have happened recently that supports what many of you are saying. Yes my wife is totally gone. I don't mind accepting that but due to my kids I have a hard time letting go.
There's no version of a divorce that doesn't hurt them and I can't stand that. I'm in a very difficult place I'm not sure how to move past it.
Our kids can only have one of us as the closer parent in a divorce and we're both very close to our kids. So serious wahala dey. Na only prayer fit solve this problem.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Lorayne(m): 8:38am On May 30|
Bhus21:Kids kids kids kids..... There re kids from broken homes that re doing just fine, man.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by ABANGWABOI(m): 10:53am On May 30|
No mind the idiot..
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|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Winneygirl(f): 12:18pm On May 30|
Well... that is the man's decision, not ours.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Klass99(f): 6:34pm On May 30|
I told him something similar on Page 7 o! I don't know why we make everything about kids in this part of the world, my children this, my children that.
Meanwhile, some of these children parents want to kill themselves for, grow up into nightmares causing misery, heartache and pain to these same parents who were ready to move heaven and earth for them.
Imagine a 17 year old boy jacking his father by the collar, shaking him like a rag doll and landing a blow on his lips which cut him and another one charging towards his mother like a bull ready to attack her, while she ran into the house and locked the door. These are even mild cases sef, I've heard and seen worse. Yet, some parents will not allow someone hear word with utterances like - my children must not suffer, my children are my all.
I am watching Blood Relatives on Investigation Discovery as I write this and today's episode is about 2 brothers (24 & 22) who murdered their parents for inheritance. They lacked nothing, were sincerely loved and well provided for by their parents, the murder was so brutal I skipped some parts to avoid the graphic photos.
You may be thinking white people are just sick like that, but remember even scripture says the human heart is desperately wicked. Evil cuts across all races!
Make una dey take am easy with this feverish frenzy over children, they may not care for or about you, the way you do. And las las they will be alright, a divorce can't be worse than child sexual abuse on a child's psyche nah!
Me sef, this OP don dey vex me with his negative talk about how his kids will suffer. Did your kids tell you they will suffer or you're just here projecting your own fears onto them?
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 6:04am On May 31|
The challenge with Nairalanders and Nigerians, in general, is that we like to delight in ignorance. So let me help educate you in a small way. There are broadly 2 types of marriages. High conflict and low conflict ones. High conflict is where there's abuse, violence, and constant fighting. Low conflict marriages are the opposite. In the latter things are generally calm and happy with occasional bouts of arguments.
In high conflict marriages, divorce can be a good thing for the kids as it removes them from a highly charged situation. For low-conflict marriages on the other hand, divorce is devastating to the kids. This is because the kids see mum and dad as happy, stable and loving. When they then hear suddenly that the family is breaking apart it devastates them. They then have to deal with a lifetime of insecurity. They develop serious emotional challenges that put them at risk of so many adverse outcomes that are too numerous to mention. Just google 'divorce effect on kids'.
Now kids didn't ask to be born, parents choose to bring them into the world. To so violently take away their stability because parents couldn't put aside their ego to at least try to work out their issues is the most cruel and unfair thing one could do. So if there are kids from broken homes doing just fine, I can assure you that if there were from low-conflict homes that broke up, they would be doing so much better if their parents worked out their issues.
I think many of us in this age don't truly understand what marriage and parenting is about. I think my wife falls into this category actually and I didn't do a good enough job to teach her. I underestimated her limited understanding and thought love would get us through. Well as it turns out, love waxes and wanes. What keeps you going is understanding the commitment you made and working hard to protect it.
A small example is talking about marital problems outside. This should never be done. Only discuss your marriage with your spouse or a trusted counsellor when things are too difficult. Sharing everywhere with everybody is a recipe for disaster.
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|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by crackhaus: 8:05am On May 31|
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Lorayne(m): 9:39am On May 31|
The guy is delusional. He's the only one that needs therapy. Not his wife.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 9:48am On May 31|
Of course, I need therapy, no shame in admitting that and I'm going through it.
I'm sharing my thoughts and feelings here for others who may be going through similar so they can see other perspectives.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 9:52am On May 31|
Also, some people have referenced another link to a similar situation. I want to clarify that it is in no way related to me. This is an entirely different situation.
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|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Belafonte(m): 11:21pm On May 31|
I hate to say this, but you are too civilized. And I'm not saying you should harm or hurt her. You make too many allowances for others and unscrupulous people like your wife will take advantage of that.
Your wife obviously thinks you're a weak man, and if there's anything women detest it's weakness in men. I assure you that she would accord you more respect if you had headbutted her when she owned up to having the affair and dragged her by her hair or even thrown her out in the middle of the night.
Come to think of it, how did you find out she was seeing someone else, was she so careless about it or did she even want you to find out? How come you found out she was still communicating with this fellow just barely 2 days after? She couldn't even be bothered to be really sneaky?
You're boring to her and women cannot stand boring. You even begged her for forgiveness after she cheated on you. or what do you think the silly 6 month commitment you "extracted" is?
Oga, your wife no rate you. At least rate yourself
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Belafonte(m): 11:23pm On May 31|
Was Jesus her husband? Did he tell her husband to for her one more chance?
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Belafonte(m): 11:26pm On May 31|
Lol. You're a troll
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Aurelius1(m): 12:34am On Jun 01|
Ishilove:What's there to salvage in a marriage that's as good as dead? His wife cheated and told him so without any remorse and at the same time asked for a divorce then he suddenly goes on bended knees begging her to stay because of the kids .........absolute rubbish!!! You all advising him to stay don't know how it feels like living with a woman whose heart yearns for another man. Like I said earlier, op should salvage any little respect he has left by taking a walk. If he comes from the any of the Niger Delta tribes and eventually forgive and continue eating her food and sleeping with her, he won't last a year unless sacrifices are made to appease the ancestors. I have seen countless number of men die because issues like this.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by DUNKA(m): 10:14am On Jun 01|
Pierocash:Na God reveal this to you. this should be the 1st step
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by crackhaus: 6:55pm On Jun 01|
Lorayne:I don't even believe there's a 'he' behind that username.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Zehner(f): 7:44pm On Jun 01|
Let me tell you the children you are trying to protect can sense all that is happening.
Infact I can assure you that they know more than you assume.... It would be tough but they will come around eventually.
Now to you, when a woman says she’s done, she is done , she’s made up her mind and is ready for any consequences.
I think you should channel your energy in making yourself happy and find ways to make it easy on the kids if they are yours.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by khia: 4:20am On Jun 06|
How do you equate her behavior to Black Americans?
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Ana234(f): 9:12am On Jun 10|
Pierocash:why are you this pained? If this complain is coming from a woman, you might tell her to pray for her marriage. Nothing is wrong if you also advise the man on what to do to save his marriage. They have kids together.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by efficiencie(m): 9:52am On Jun 10|
Only a fool will tell her to pray...when a man has slept with another woman and told his wife boldly about it and asks for a divorce, it is better for the wife of leave that man or else her life could be in danger! Cheating and being bold about it is a sign of sheer hatred and while, yes, I advocate that couples be prayerful but prayers should come before it gets to this stage...no amount of boiling or freezing can restore the freshness of decaying food...
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Nonexisting: 10:15am On Jun 10|
This kind of simpism can be contagious so let me get out of here.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Nezzjnr: 2:22pm On Jun 10|
olabrinks:You are crazy
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by efficiencie(m): 12:50pm On Jun 11|
Love waxes and wanes? Then it was never love. This is the problem with humanity. Always confusing transcient and fickle feelings for love. If she truly loved she will be eager to learn. If she truly loved she would submit to be groomed. If she truly loved she would be a better wife in a matter of weeks...love will drive her to become an indispensable force in her home. Love is enough. And when both the husband and wife truly love the result is sheer perfection. Many of us just don't know what love is. Love is a nature. When your very nature is love quarrels are easily resolved, compromise is easily reached, positions easily shift and marriage becomes more resilient to the toughest of situations! But when we confused mere feelings with love we get all the nonsense we see today and blame it all on "love not being enough" when in actual fact we barely know what "love" means.
In most divorces, if not all, love was never present right from the start...the so called marriage was just driven by the alignment of interests and nothing more and when those interests no longer align the couples start giving excuses for horrendous behavior...that is when the wife will say the reason she cheated was because her husband wasn't satisfying her and her husband will say the reason he beat her up beyond recognition was because she was too provocative! There will always be a reason for terrible behavior and none will acknowledge his or her fault! Love is always enough, we just don't know what love really is!
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by food4tot: 6:06pm On Jun 11|
Wow, this is deep. You are a mature being and I really want to help but I'm not sure how.
Bottom line is this, your wife prefers her male friend and believes she can have it better with him. Most of us humans wants whats good for us. We weigh the consequences and make the jump. Sometimes our judgement is flawed and we face the consequences.
I wouldn't want you to try and win her back because she can fall into the same temptation, another man could still sweep her off her feet.
I have a question for you though
Have you ever cheated on her?
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Pierocash(m): 6:23pm On Jun 12|
Ana234:continue raising shoulders with men. When you are been thrown out of your matrimonial home because of adultery,then you will realise we aren't equal
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Ana234(f): 7:30am On Jun 13|
Pierocash:I am only suggesting they work on their marriage, nobody is claiming equality here, try to read without sentiment.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Raalsalghul: 7:36am On Jun 13|
I'm beginning to think the Op is a troll.
|Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by ABANGWABOI(m): 11:27pm On Jun 13|
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