crackhaus:

As complicated and winding as the story has been so far, I have a very simple view.

Whatever a husband has against his wife or whatever the wife has against him, they must leave their kids out of it.

As far as I'm concerned when it comes to any relationship/marriage wahala, no party is ever completely innocent... NONE!

If the man wants to send his wife out of the house to sleep on the street, good and fine... as long as he doesn't send the kids along with her.
If the woman wants to poison her husband or kill him in his sleep, good and fine... as long as she doesn't poison the kids hearts against him too.

Respect boss! Respect!

Unlike one gender and feminists that are trying to paint theirselves as the victim especially when the husband is a registered member of Nairaland and has given his side of the whole issue.

This is just the way I see it: husband/wife, non are innocent, just that the kids should be left out of it-they didn't ask to be brought into this world.

budaatum:

I'm amused at how you set your priorities. Your marriage is burning but your concern is the Rome of Nairaland!

Should you not be busy putting a roof over the heads of innocent Diye and Kiishi, if not over your head too?

You story is a lesson to many who benefit from it as they see fit, just as you should have learnt from those you told to be submissive when they were in similar situations on the same "GREAT Nairaland" you "used to know"!

May we not make the mistakes you make.

Thanks for this!

Their comments are getting more and more annoying.

Lizzyangel pls leave d relationship and neva come back again.u will meet someone who respects u.be strong and dont make my mistakes,guess what?,my weak heart made me forgive b otrix,he recently beat me up in public,now am crazy over another man who understands me and is begging me for marriage.fear of what i faced in owerri d last time wont allow me leave b trix and follow d love of my life.my life is a mess right now.if i had known,i would have listened to advice by nlders to stay on my own.learn from my story.

CHoccolaTE:


I don't know why Nigerian men like to assume that divorced women desire marriage. In many cases they truly dont want to remarry because of the trauma they went through in their first marriage.
Even some single women are only looking for marriage because of societal pressure and not because they cannot survive without it.

I guess its very sweet and boosts their self esteem to tell themselves that females are craving marriage to men and are desperate to be with them.

.

FOLYKAZE:


I was at work and couldn't type from there....

I didn't lock her out. She asked for separation two months ago. And we agreed she leave during school holiday. Well the window closes this night. So she is out.

Goodnight

Heartless wicked evil man. Did you send her and the child to the dread of the night? You couldn’t answer cos you obviously did.

If she ever comes back to you, she’s the biggest fool on earth! You’re not only physically abusive but your lack of affection for your children’s safety is disgraceful. I wonder what she saw in you in the first place . Worthless man .

What an interesting novel.

Captivating and descriptive

Welldone Lizzy a.k.a Foly

bjprodint1:
Lizzyangel pls leave d relationship and neva come back again.u will meet someone who respects u.be strong and dont make my mistakes,guess what?,my weak heart made me forgive b otrix,he recently beat me up in public,now am crazy over another man who understands me and is begging me for marriage.fear of what i faced in owerri d last time wont allow me leave b trix and follow d love of my life.my life is a mess right now.if i had known,i would have listened to advice by nlders to stay on my own.learn from my story.

Not surprised a bit. I knew all the advice was like water on the back of a duck.

LadySarah:
You see this couple;

Lizzyangel and folykaze
Bjprodint and hubby botrix
Sapphirepr and Tyd...

Remaining several I won't mention.You ppl should respect yourselves here.

Go offline and sort your is and stop using our brains to catch cruise.
Anybody advicing these couples is wasting their time. Very much.

Funny enough,this moniker called you ppl out already.

When Stockholm syndrome + lack of financial empowerment +low self-esteem bond.

apatheticme:


You really can't blame these misguided males too much, our own sisters too are fvckng up!!! Dem nor dey try at all!

Many of them exhibit Stockholm syndrome, many believe their only existence wraps around a man. Without a man, they believe they can't exist!

They've so much rendered themselves helpless that they can't carry out simple tasks outside of a man's input. So what do you expect?? Of course the male folks would keep treating them like trash!

Many women can't fix a flat tire without calling hubby, many can't take their car for servicing, hubby must be there. Women need to step up for crying out loud! I take my car for servicing myself, buy required oil, filter etc without waiting for hubby! I do a lot of stuff most women view as reserved for males myself! The way some women behave in marriage/relationship is simply nauseating abeg.

When your man/hubby knows that you are capable of multi-tasking, you've got your job, with good pay, you're not lazy, and he knows how much you bring to the table financially, you can handle rent, nepa bills, school fees etc he'll be the one to sit up! He would be more scared of you and won't even dare to say he wants to lock you out.

I can only imagine myself being asked to spend the night out in an uncompleted building alone not to talk of with an infant and I will still be begging people to help me beg the man for me to come back to the house the next day Like wtf!! I dey mad?? That's the last day I'll have anything to do with such a man! When it's not as if I'm jobless, lazy or disabled! She definitely has Inferiority complex, that's why she keeps sucking up to being treated like trash! Rubbish!

Men are a necessary evil, but they are also dispensable!

Those things are what make Nigerian men feel incharge .Part of the submissiveness.Their Ego fully massaged and pumped?

Do you want them deflated and see it worthless?

Ulunne777:


Not surprised a bit. I knew all the advice was like water on the back of a duck.

Am sorry 4 my stupidity.my next post will be A NAIRALANDER FINALLY MARRIES THE MAN OF HER DREAMS IN A QUIET BUT CLASSY WEDDING.

apatheticme:


You really can't blame these misguided males too much, our own sisters too are fvckng up!!! Dem nor dey try at all!

Many of them exhibit Stockholm syndrome, many believe their only existence wraps around a man. Without a man, they believe they can't exist!

They've so much rendered themselves helpless that they can't carry out simple tasks outside of a man's input. So what do you expect?? Of course the male folks would keep treating them like trash!

Many women can't fix a flat tire without calling hubby, many can't take their car for servicing, hubby must be there. Women need to step up for crying out loud! I take my car for servicing myself, buy required oil, filter etc without waiting for hubby! I do a lot of stuff most women view as reserved for males myself! The way some women behave in marriage/relationship is simply nauseating abeg.

When your man/hubby knows that you are capable of multi-tasking, you've got your job, with good pay, you're not lazy, and he knows how much you bring to the table financially, you can handle rent, nepa bills, school fees etc he'll be the one to sit up! He would be more scared of you and won't even dare to say he wants to lock you out.

I can only imagine myself being asked to spend the night out in an uncompleted building alone not to talk of with an infant and I will still be begging people to help me beg the man for me to come back to the house the next day Like wtf!! I dey mad?? That's the last day I'll have anything to do with such a man! When it's not as if I'm jobless, lazy or disabled! She definitely has Inferiority complex, that's why she keeps sucking up to being treated like trash! Rubbish!

Men are a necessary evil, but they are also dispensable!

Its mostly religious and societal programming that makes women/girls decide to depend on males for things they can handle on their own.

But I agree that girls should take more steps to be more powerful, rich/independent so they dont have to depend on some male that treats them like thrash.

This stupid bragging from males about how women are dying to be with them and get married to them is so disgusting.

Hummm,see it's u women now,but when women do their own it more worst,my sister have had that exprience as ma.i married at the same age as u.but i lately avoid the issue arising am now walking with cruthes at the age of 3othies.pls my advise to my youndlady is to have peace of mind with ur self firts,and takecare of kid.if he want to take the kid give him.mine she take the kid but with my present suitation i tried to be happy and have peace with my self,if he killed u,u no nothing about ur kid and ur so called husband again.but be alive.my mother always tell me something before she passed on,that my son (we shall see when the time comes)the tommorrow future is around the connerr.my God is very pleasant God.he does't fight back when u needed it most,but mind u,it shall surely leave a sign.my sister i was once in ur position.pls try to make peace and be happy with ur self.that my own taught for u.stay alive

bjprodint1:
Lizzyangel pls leave d relationship and neva come back again.u will meet someone who respects u.be strong and dont make my mistakes,guess what?,my weak heart made me forgive b otrix,he recently beat me up in public,now am crazy over another man who understands me and is begging me for marriage.fear of what i faced in owerri d last time wont allow me leave b trix and follow d love of my life.my life is a mess right now.if i had known,i would have listened to advice by nlders to stay on my own.learn from my story.

A-ha, here she is: thought you were the Op.

It is well o....may the peace of God reign in our hearts and around us. May wahala be far from us....hian!

See stories! Whew! Bet why cant we all be sane and kind to the people around us sef? It is really well.

Ginaz:


Heartless wicked evil man. Did you send her and the child to the dread of the night? You couldn’t answer cos you obviously did.

If she ever comes back to you, she’s the biggest fool on earth! You’re not only physically abusive but your lack of affection for your children’s safety is disgraceful. I wonder what she saw in you in the first place . Worthless man .

Save your energy dear. I don't trust this couple, if it is a couple. The husband acts like a psychopath on purpose. If he truly was the psychopath he pretends to be, he would know how to manipulate people to his advantage or, if he is not that smart, at least try to pretend that he is not as evil as he appears to be. But it's not what he does. Instead he is provocative and extreme. I don't know what the truth is behind this thread but it is not what it seems to be. Anyone who gives them money has himself to blame.

I just wish we had social services to look after the well-being of the kids, if there are any, because the individual/couple behind this thread are not fit to raise children. Very sick people.

Hathor5:


Save your energy dear. I don't trust this couple, if it is a couple. The husband acts like a psychopath on purpose. If he truly was the psychopath he pretends to be, he would know how to manipulate people to his advantage or, if he is not that smart, at least try to pretend that he is not as evil as he appears to be. But it's not what he does. Instead he is provocative and extreme. I don't know what the truth is behind this thread but it is not what it seems to be. Anyone who gives them money has himself to blame.

I just wish we had social services to look after the well-being of the kids, if there are any, because the individual/couple behind this thread are not fit to raise children. Very sick people.

I posted in one of my earlier posts that they both need psychiatric evaluation.

Shokoloko:
What an interesting novel.

Captivating and descriptive

Welldone Lizzy a.k.a Foly

Lol.

It isn't funny though, my story is too pathetic to be real, this made people like Mstick, ishilove, pocochantas , Sanchez01, segForth, budaatum, Hathor5, greenie77 and others to get upset and turned it to a feminist thread, they couldn't stand my foolishness, my conclusion on their reaction is proverbs 13:24. That's exactly how a good matured family member can react to my story.


The mixture of advise received here woke me out of my slumber to face reality, something I've been afraid of doing in the past years became easy in less than 72hrs, I've been told not to disclose my next line of action here, my kids and I are still locked out in a stranger's house for the past two days, while I summoned the courage to meet my Boss and narrated my ordeal and pleaded for loan for an accomodation which I've been searching around for,once I get a place, they're willing to borrow me the money to be gradually deducted from my monthly salary. I'm surely moving on, thanks for all the advice, insults and insights, they are helping me in restructuring.

To my kids, Diye & Kiishi, I trust you guys to understand mom as we're gonna overcome and win this together.

Aja! Aja!! Fighting!!!!!!

greenie77:


I posted in one of my earlier posts that they both need psychiatric evaluation.

Most definitely.

The funniest and most annoying part at the same time was the post where she called on the mods to complain about Nairaland. Imagine a homeless mother with two kids who is running away from her abusive husband having the energy to complain about Nairaland. Whoever believes this nonsense is very naive.

Ishilove:
Your kids will be motherless if you lose your life in the process of enduring a loveless marriage for their sake.

This is a critical point.

Ulunne777:


Those things are what make Nigerian men feel incharge .Part of the submissiveness.Their Ego fully massaged and pumped?

Do you want them deflated and see it worthless?

Only an insecure man (which most Nigerian men are anyway) will have issues with his wife/girl being able to solve basic problems or face basic challenges without always calling for help!

It is this same reason that makes most Nigerian men scared of their wives being high fliers, achievers and career driven!

Only a woman raised with Inferiority complex and a poor sense of self worth will keep waiting for a man before she can do anything.

Personally, my hubby even prefers me dealing with our mechanic for instance, because I get better results plus cheaper prices. They see him as a big man, so whenever he wants to fix anything, they bill him. Something of #7500 for instance maybe brake pad for one leg, they'll tell him 20k. But if na me, I'll go buy the stuff myself and supervise them sef. Hubby doesn't have that much time, besides he's so cool with delegating duties! So even his own car, I take it for fixing, servicing anything. We'll just exchange cars if need be.

I remember when we were still doing our building project, many tasks that I was the one who handled it, many things I was the one in charge. Infact there were days I'll be the one to go to site and supervise/coordinate workers - mason man, plumber, electrician, carpenters etc.

Infact hubby never bought a single plumbing material! From pipes, to GP Tanks, to submersible pump for borehole, I was the one who bought everything, and they were top notch at good prices! I only took the plumber along and coordinated everything!

Whatever we're doing at home, hubby believes in doing it together, including both of us working on our PhD together currently! I could go on and on.

God knows I've got no freaking business with an insecure man, that will tell you don't do this, or don't touch this. I'm amazed when I see some women that would even say their hubby don't allow them drive, I'm like wtf!

Caveat:
I know some Broke ass wimps aka Red Pillers would soon come and tag my hubby a simp for making the home a place of growth and progress, but he's way more Alpha than they could ever be all their lives! Alpha is not subjugation of women, neither is it misogyny, unfortunately these retards can't see beyond their noses!

I'll rather be single than be with a man who limits my potentials or sees me as an object to be used and discarded! I rest my case.

apatheticme:


Personally, my hubby even prefers me dealing with our mechanic for instance, because I get better results plus cheaper prices. They see him as a big man, so whenever he wants to fix anything, they bill him. Something of #7500 for instance maybe brake pad for one leg, they'll tell him 20k. But if na me, I'll go buy the stuff myself and supervise them sef. Hubby doesn't have that much time, besides he's so cool with delegating duties! So even his own car, I take it for fixing, servicing anything. We'll just exchange cars if need be.

Aunty, this kind of arrangement can only work for mechanically savvy women. It cannot work for someone like me. The only thing I know in a vehicle is how to hammer the battery terminal properly and put water in the radiator That doesn't mean I have inferiority complex. It just means I don't have the joie de vivre a la génie mécanique.

apatheticme:


Only an insecure man (which most Nigerian men are anyway) will have issues with his wife/girl being able to solve basic problems or face basic challenges without always calling for help!

It is this same reason that makes most Nigerian men scared of their wives being high fliers, achievers and career driven!

Only a woman raised with Inferiority complex and a poor sense of self worth will keep waiting for a man before she can do anything.

OK, in summary,
Any man that doesn't behave like your husband is insecure and any woman who doesn't think and behave like you has inferiority complex.
Must be an absolute joy and fun hanging around you.

What happened to you that made you now walk with crutches?

Jethrosam:
Hummm,see it's u women now,but when women do their own it more worst,my sister have had that exprience as ma.i married at the same age as u.but i lately avoid the issue arising am now walking with cruthes at the age of 3othies.pls my advise to my youndlady is to have peace of mind with ur self firts,and takecare of kid.if he want to take the kid give him.mine she take the kid but with my present suitation i tried to be happy and have peace with my self,if he killed u,u no nothing about ur kid and ur so called husband again.but be alive.my mother always tell me something before she passed on,that my son (we shall see when the time comes)the tommorrow future is around the connerr.my God is very pleasant God.he does't fight back when u needed it most,but mind u,it shall surely leave a sign.my sister i was once in ur position.pls try to make peace and be happy with ur self.that my own taught for u.stay alive

apatheticme:


You really can't blame these misguided males too much, our own sisters too are fvckng up!!! Dem nor dey try at all!

Many of them exhibit Stockholm syndrome, many believe their only existence wraps around a man. Without a man, they believe they can't exist!

They've so much rendered themselves helpless that they can't carry out simple tasks outside of a man's input. So what do you expect?? Of course the male folks would keep treating them like trash!

Many women can't fix a flat tire without calling hubby, many can't take their car for servicing, hubby must be there. Women need to step up for crying out loud! I take my car for servicing myself, buy required oil, filter etc without waiting for hubby! I do a lot of stuff most women view as reserved for males myself! The way some women behave in marriage/relationship is simply nauseating abeg.

When your man/hubby knows that you are capable of multi-tasking, you've got your job, with good pay, you're not lazy, and he knows how much you bring to the table financially, you can handle rent, nepa bills, school fees etc he'll be the one to sit up! He would be more scared of you and won't even dare to say he wants to lock you out.

I can only imagine myself being asked to spend the night out in an uncompleted building alone not to talk of with an infant and I will still be begging people to help me beg the man for me to come back to the house the next day Like wtf!! I dey mad?? That's the last day I'll have anything to do with such a man! When it's not as if I'm jobless, lazy or disabled! She definitely has Inferiority complex, that's why she keeps sucking up to being treated like trash! Rubbish!

Men are a necessary evil, but they are also dispensable!

Did you marry a necessary evil?

budaatum:


Along with an exam for a marriage and procreation license.

Just as one should not drive without lessons and a test, so should one not be allowed to procreate without a procreation license to indicate competence, in my opinion.

In the future sometime, hopefully, when this generation runs things.

That's violation of my fundamental human rights. We are humans not dummies.

bjprodint1:
Am sorry 4 my stupidity.my next post will be A NAIRALANDER FINALLY MARRIES THE MAN OF HER DREAMS IN A QUIET BUT CLASSY WEDDING.

Marriage should be the last thing on your mind now.

Madam thief and Oga thief come and take free money.

I had your number from the first post you made. You and your baby daddy think you're smart.

You clowns should've planned your heist better.

Shokoloko:
What an interesting novel.
Captivating and descriptive
Welldone Lizzy a.k.a Foly

really

Mstick:
Madam thief and Oga thief come and take free money.

I had your number from the first post you made. You and your baby daddy think you're smart.

You clowns should've planned your heist better.

What are you talking about?
What number and what money or plan?

Can you please give reason for your conclusion on my post for being a fake and opportunity to beg? And I'd be willing to give necessary answers and evidence for my post being real.

apatheticme:


Only an insecure man (which most Nigerian men are anyway) will have issues with his wife/girl being able to solve basic problems or face basic challenges without always calling for help!

It is this same reason that makes most Nigerian men scared of their wives being high fliers, achievers and career driven!

Only a woman raised with Inferiority complex and a poor sense of self worth will keep waiting for a man before she can do anything.

Personally, my hubby even prefers me dealing with our mechanic for instance, because I get better results plus cheaper prices. They see him as a big man, so whenever he wants to fix anything, they bill him. Something of #7500 for instance maybe brake pad for one leg, they'll tell him 20k. But if na me, I'll go buy the stuff myself and supervise them sef. Hubby doesn't have that much time, besides he's so cool with delegating duties! So even his own car, I take it for fixing, servicing anything. We'll just exchange cars if need be.

I remember when we were still doing our building project, many tasks that I was the one who handled it, many things I was the one in charge. Infact there were days I'll be the one to go to site and supervise/coordinate workers - mason man, plumber, electrician, carpenters etc.

Infact hubby never bought a single plumbing material! From pipes, to GP Tanks, to submersible pump for borehole, I was the one who bought everything, and they were top notch at good prices! I only took the plumber along and coordinated everything!

Whatever we're doing at home, hubby believes in doing it together, including both of us working on our PhD together currently! I could go on and on.

God knows I've got no freaking business with an insecure man, that will tell you don't do this, or don't touch this. I'm amazed when I see some women that would even say their hubby don't allow them drive, I'm like wtf!

Caveat:
I know some Broke ass wimps aka Red Pillers would soon come and tag my hubby a simp for making the home a place of growth and progress, but he's way more Alpha than they could ever be all their lives! Alpha is not subjugation of women, neither is it misogyny, unfortunately these retards can't see beyond their noses!

I'll rather be single than be with a man who limits my potentials or sees me as an object to be used and discarded! I rest my case.

Super woman

CHoccolaTE:


Its mostly religious and societal programming that makes women/girls decide to depend on males for things they can handle on their own.

But I agree that girls should take more steps to be more powerful, rich/independent so they dont have to depend on some male that treats them like thrash.

This stupid bragging from males about how women are dying to be with them and get married to them is so disgusting.

.

Lizzyangel:


I'm trying to do that but I'm only scared of what my personal decision can do to my kids(I have 2 aboy7yrs And a girl 1yr).


Seeing kids from single parenting around is making me scared which he knew and is using constantly against me.

I had a slightly similar case to yours and I took a long walk for the sake of me and my kids sanity. Abuse and violence isnt healthy. You will gradually slip into depression and feel hopeless.

You will survive, just make sure u have a good and reliable source of income and a supportive family. It's a gradual process. If ur husband decides to turn a new leaf you can decide if want to give him a second chance. Mine got a second chance and still messed up. Av moved on long ago and am happy I made my decision.

Note that Good and responsible children still come out of single parent while rebellious and bad kids come out of homes with both parents intact.

Marriage is sweet when you are with ur best friend, and with someone who understands, tolerates, forgives and matured psychologically with strong financial support.