₦airaland Forum

Nonexisting:
You think because she is ugly, it will not end in premium tears? Some of us are counting down to your tears. Keep defending a daughter of Jezebel who has venomous mouth thinking you are doing yourself any good. She is one bitter soul we have had here so if anyone body shames her, that person will be doing a lot of nairalanders some favour.

sirjamesjnr:
. She got a life, a career, brain, good soul, very decent. We compete how to make each other happy. If I flight her to my place, she does the same for me. So she is not a liability. Unlike you, what can your man say about you? Urgent 2k girl.
Will like to see your picture else I won't stoop low to reply to you.

Aksnoopy:
This man! I am not a lady, I am a grown ass man. Be calming down anyways, seems she is more emotionally intelligent than you. Same reason you tried to stare the nigga who was staring at her fat ass down at the beach. If the guy didn't stop looking would you have gone to fight him?
She isn't taking all what is being said here personal because she is emotionally intelligent, while you are trying hard to abuse me already thinking I am a lady.
Take it easy man!!!

Witttyduchess:
the guy simping no be here

DrFunmisticGlow:
all these men with 'f' in their monicker, be forming 'alfa meil' upandan.

Yinmu!!

Activist001:
So na only pics of your yansh you fit show us ni?

DrFunmisticGlow:
As he is preparing to go to the shore, I stop him,and slather sunscreen all over his body so that he doesn't get a tan.

DrFunmisticGlow:
yinmu

Ishilove:
Do negroes tan? We are already "tanned" by virtue of our skin colour.

Anyhu, it's all semantics.

Spending time with bae and bonding is simply golden. Cherish it because some aren't that lucky.

Aksnoopy:
This man! I am not a lady, I am a grown ass man. Be calming down anyways, seems she is more emotionally intelligent than you. Same reason you tried to stare the nigga who was staring at her fat ass down at the beach. If the guy didn't stop looking would you have gone to fight him?
She isn't taking all what is being said here personal because she is emotionally intelligent, while you are trying hard to abuse me already thinking I am a lady.
Take it easy man!!!

DrFunmisticGlow:
thank you dear.

We do tan.

I learnt that from a friend of mine who is darker than me. She went to the beach and wore 3/4 shorts. There was a visible tan line from where the shorts stops to her feet which was darkened.

Inspiration007:
This long gist only one picture.


Mtcheew

ImaIma1:
As in, I was disappointed.

After reading and getting confused with all the mixture of past tense and present tense and the repetition of "turns out", only how many pictures...

Op DrFunmisticGlow landmark beach has a lot to offer than what you are showing us. What about the cabanas and beautiful furniture? Nothing to see here.

DrFunmisticGlow:
I am not advertising landmark beach because I am not a travel agent. I'm advertising romance in the romance section, not the travel section

Hian!!

Aksnoopy:
This man! I am not a lady, I am a grown ass man. Be calming down anyways, seems she is more emotionally intelligent than you. Same reason you tried to stare the nigga who was staring at her fat ass down at the beach. If the guy didn't stop looking would you have gone to fight him?
She isn't taking all what is being said here personal because she is emotionally intelligent, while you are trying hard to abuse me already thinking I am a lady.
Take it easy man!!!

DrFunmisticGlow:
behave yourself.

NengiWIDEtoto:
That your guy head go good to shoot o.. E be like mango

DrFunmisticGlow:

ahnie:
Hello doc.pls I need your imput on something.

wumi2017:
I can't wait

AntiAPC2023:
the truth still remains that you're not good looking.
Just learn to accept it

Mogadishuu:
See I don't have anything against you or your new found love/ bae but I am glad you chose to change bae.

You and your former dude (jalodo or whatever his moniker was) that found each other earlier on nairaland are fcukingUGLY. Yes the truth is bitter ... Two Ugly people should never make babies.

No jokes, y'all both ugly and I am glad you both went your ways. There are enough monsters in the world already than for the two of you to make baby monsters.

TNORWAY:
I love nairaland.

Lonelypacifist6:
Come on bro I'm past that phase, but you should know your girlfriend has an unpleasant history on Nairaland, and I'm just stating what might be the cause, I didn't mean it anyother way. Don't be annoyed.

DrFunmisticGlow:
If there's one thing sirjamesjnr and I agree to disagree on. It's our view on LAGOS. As a Lagos islander born and bred. I'm a city girl in and out while he likes it close to nature. I maintained that Lagos can be close to nature, we have beaches and lekki conservation centers. He claimed Lagos was dirty and couldn't impress him. I vowed that when next he came to see me, I would prove him wrong. We agreed that we would go to the beach. It's something I have always wanted to do with the one I love.

So bae lands in Lagos on Friday, we spend time together, the plan was originally to take him to tarkwa bay, but based on our location which was decided on the spur of the moment (planning in advance is not my strong point but his). I changed my mind and decided on landmark beach instead. I snooped online and found out that we had to book online. I decided that I would book the next day which was a saturday. Big mistake. I should have booked on Friday, that way the gate fee would have been cheaper.

On Saturday morning, we get up get ready. I carry some basics, my atm, phone, and sunscreen, wear an old straw hat, a top and shorts, then a pair of slippers. Bae goes fully dressed and I had to convince him that it's just the beach. At least wear slippers. He agrees. We call a taxify and get to the beach at 9:30am. Turns out beach opens by 10am. By 10, I show the ticketeer my booking QR code, and he gives me 2 tags. So we trot into the beach. It's empty, turns out we are the first to arrive

We walk down and see a bar. Where we are told that seating is free as long as we buy something, but there's another area where we have to rent furniture but there's an area we can swim. We both discussed which area would be preferable and as we do so, we meet one of the lifeguards who we have a long discussion with. She tells us that the beach was owned by an igbo man born abroad, She also says that renting furniture is where the fun is, we take her advice and agree to rent a set of loungers. Before that we go to this taco place for breakfast, which was directly behind the mini golf course in the beach. When bae saw the course he was tripping. He loved the concept, we explore the beach, take pics then rent the loungers and agree to swim in the lagoon.

Bae wears his speedo, I wear my swimsuit after much persuasion from him. As he is preparing to go to the shore, I stop him,and slather sunscreen all over his body so that he doesn't get a tan. I do the same. We both look like 'ojuju calabar' masquerade. But I'll take that over turning a shade darker at the beach.

Turns out bae is an excellent swimmer, cos he went into the regions where only experienced swimmers go. I was happy with the beginners section because the only thing I can do in the water is float., he didn't want to go too far, so as to keep an eye on me. Because I can be a mischievous person sometimes. Turns out that sea water is salty but doesn't hurt the eyes, and one can see clearly in it.

We have a lot of fun in the water, Take pictures, play with strangers, do a little PDA then go back to the loungers where we rest, take more pics and gossip about the people around us. There were two white women on the loungers to our right, both were smoking a cigarette, but some minutes later a young man, nigerian obviously goes to try his luck with the visa lottery. The ladies weren't impressed. On our left was a young guy who was really loaded because he order a bottle of expensive alcohol, and this babe with him, total slayqueen type with bone straight hair, was busy forming like some of the other babes at the beach. The only thing that gave her away was her appetite . She ate a lot, a whole lot......

Some lebanese people were there, one forgot to wear sunscreen and look looking red like cooked shrimps but was going to swimming anyway.

We reapplied sunscreen and went swimming a second time. There we noticed in the far distance that a big sea animal was swimming, whether it was a dolphin, shark, we didn't know, but we knew that it was big. I feel bad that it didn't come to shore. We would have liked some wild fish pepper soup.

The lifeguards really did their jobs, watching the people making sure no one swam beyond their boundaries. There was this fulani girl who kept trying to disobey tho. She clearly was a good swimmer, and was swimming in her ankara gown.

We go back to the loungers and rest, then a lot of people come and try advertising their food to us, the way traders do it at yaba market but less invasive. Bae was beginning to get annoyed, because this hustling and harassing phenomenon is one of the reasons why he doesn't like Lagos. I get ice cream and a sub sandwich which was really good. We also get coconut water, which was so refreshing, but elected that we must eat the coconut inside,so he goes to the store where we got it from. He comes back with a spoon for me to scrape my coconut since it was so soft like jelly, his was a bit harder and was cut into pieces, we are bush people like that . We also had sex on the beach (the cocktail or not)

By the time we are done, it's late so I book a cab home with the beach WiFi (sorry dear, I know you said I should not use it but I like awoof) then I start preparing to change and wear my top, then bend to wear my bumshorts, when I'm done, I see bae frowning heavily. Turns out he caught someone staring at my back while I was dressing up, and the person had a lady next to him. He apparently sent the sent the guy a very strong look. Bae refused to let me see who the guy was and started telling me to hurry up. I tidy up, and we walk out of the beach.

On the cab way home, he kept talking about how fun it was and how he didn't expect this kind of sophistication from a beach. He talks about Lagos with the cab driver who apparently was from cote d'ivoire who says that Lagos is livelier and has more to offer than his home country and they exchange stories all the way home. His impression of Lagos has improved since then.

If you wanna go out and have fun or impress a special someone, try landmark beach.

Guess which hand is mine and which is his?

DrFunmisticGlow:
If there's one thing sirjamesjnr and I agree to disagree on. It's our view on LAGOS. As a Lagos islander born and bred. I'm a city girl in and out while he likes it close to nature. I maintained that Lagos can be close to nature, we have beaches and lekki conservation centers. He claimed Lagos was dirty and couldn't impress him. I vowed that when next he came to see me, I would prove him wrong. We agreed that we would go to the beach. It's something I have always wanted to do with the one I love.

So bae lands in Lagos on Friday, we spend time together, the plan was originally to take him to tarkwa bay, but based on our location which was decided on the spur of the moment (planning in advance is not my strong point but his). I changed my mind and decided on landmark beach instead. I snooped online and found out that we had to book online. I decided that I would book the next day which was a saturday. Big mistake. I should have booked on Friday, that way the gate fee would have been cheaper.

On Saturday morning, we get up get ready. I carry some basics, my atm, phone, and sunscreen, wear an old straw hat, a top and shorts, then a pair of slippers. Bae goes fully dressed and I had to convince him that it's just the beach. At least wear slippers. He agrees. We call a taxify and get to the beach at 9:30am. Turns out beach opens by 10am. By 10, I show the ticketeer my booking QR code, and he gives me 2 tags. So we trot into the beach. It's empty, turns out we are the first to arrive

We walk down and see a bar. Where we are told that seating is free as long as we buy something, but there's another area where we have to rent furniture but there's an area we can swim. We both discussed which area would be preferable and as we do so, we meet one of the lifeguards who we have a long discussion with. She tells us that the beach was owned by an igbo man born abroad, She also says that renting furniture is where the fun is, we take her advice and agree to rent a set of loungers. Before that we go to this taco place for breakfast, which was directly behind the mini golf course in the beach. When bae saw the course he was tripping. He loved the concept, we explore the beach, take pics then rent the loungers and agree to swim in the lagoon.

Bae wears his speedo, I wear my swimsuit after much persuasion from him. As he is preparing to go to the shore, I stop him,and slather sunscreen all over his body so that he doesn't get a tan. I do the same. We both look like 'ojuju calabar' masquerade. But I'll take that over turning a shade darker at the beach.

Turns out bae is an excellent swimmer, cos he went into the regions where only experienced swimmers go. I was happy with the beginners section because the only thing I can do in the water is float., he didn't want to go too far, so as to keep an eye on me. Because I can be a mischievous person sometimes. Turns out that sea water is salty but doesn't hurt the eyes, and one can see clearly in it.

We have a lot of fun in the water, Take pictures, play with strangers, do a little PDA then go back to the loungers where we rest, take more pics and gossip about the people around us. There were two white women on the loungers to our right, both were smoking a cigarette, but some minutes later a young man, nigerian obviously goes to try his luck with the visa lottery. The ladies weren't impressed. On our left was a young guy who was really loaded because he order a bottle of expensive alcohol, and this babe with him, total slayqueen type with bone straight hair, was busy forming like some of the other babes at the beach. The only thing that gave her away was her appetite . She ate a lot, a whole lot......

Some lebanese people were there, one forgot to wear sunscreen and look looking red like cooked shrimps but was going to swimming anyway.

We reapplied sunscreen and went swimming a second time. There we noticed in the far distance that a big sea animal was swimming, whether it was a dolphin, shark, we didn't know, but we knew that it was big. I feel bad that it didn't come to shore. We would have liked some wild fish pepper soup.

The lifeguards really did their jobs, watching the people making sure no one swam beyond their boundaries. There was this fulani girl who kept trying to disobey tho. She clearly was a good swimmer, and was swimming in her ankara gown.

We go back to the loungers and rest, then a lot of people come and try advertising their food to us, the way traders do it at yaba market but less invasive. Bae was beginning to get annoyed, because this hustling and harassing phenomenon is one of the reasons why he doesn't like Lagos. I get ice cream and a sub sandwich which was really good. We also get coconut water, which was so refreshing, but elected that we must eat the coconut inside,so he goes to the store where we got it from. He comes back with a spoon for me to scrape my coconut since it was so soft like jelly, his was a bit harder and was cut into pieces, we are bush people like that . We also had sex on the beach (the cocktail or not)

By the time we are done, it's late so I book a cab home with the beach WiFi (sorry dear, I know you said I should not use it but I like awoof) then I start preparing to change and wear my top, then bend to wear my bumshorts, when I'm done, I see bae frowning heavily. Turns out he caught someone staring at my back while I was dressing up, and the person had a lady next to him. He apparently sent the sent the guy a very strong look. Bae refused to let me see who the guy was and started telling me to hurry up. I tidy up, and we walk out of the beach.

On the cab way home, he kept talking about how fun it was and how he didn't expect this kind of sophistication from a beach. He talks about Lagos with the cab driver who apparently was from cote d'ivoire who says that Lagos is livelier and has more to offer than his home country and they exchange stories all the way home. His impression of Lagos has improved since then.

If you wanna go out and have fun or impress a special someone, try landmark beach.

Guess which hand is mine and which is his?

Ehn!!!