₦airaland Forum

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Guy pls go n learn what marriage is all about before you start talking of marriage. It's very obvious you're a kid cos you sound like one. And just because you have some change in ur pocket does not make you ready for marriage. You're just blabbing away sha. Don't say you were not warned. Ur mum surprises me tho

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

COLD FEET.

MARRY HER.

There is always cold feet whenever something good is about to happen.

Golden147:
Though I didn't add nobody should advice me to to hustle.... Even as a student, I have a stable income bro...

Don't mind them, Nigerians are very envious lots.

Marry her. Some of your advisors here are pained you are just 24 and want to marry. It will make them say alot of shit to discourage you from crossing a major milestone in your life at a very young age.

Do not listen to them.

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

Haters will cope later.

Golden147:
Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

Marry the girl and put boundaries with the brothers if you want assist the parents but her elder brothers are not your responsibility

if marriage a life time union so cn u make it till this year ending 4 dat.

greggng:
My brother I think you are been naive ....marriage is not for children ....you are too young to get married especially when you don't 've a job. You must be from a Rich family to 've just graduated and got married . How did you get the money ? Do you plan on living with your parents ? Live na jeje ...graduate , serve the country , get a good job....work for sometime to save money , then plan your marriage .

As per her brother's , I agree with your mum ...they can't force money out of you ....let them know you didn't get to where you are by laziness. The lady is not gonna be a liability since she is in school and will be graduating too...God's willing she gets a good job....both of you can now plan about your life ....what is your dad saying about the lady?

currently have 4 sales girls that earns atleast 25k monthly.... I'm not from any rich family...anyways that's by de way.. thanks for your advice.

Arckeen:
which work u Dey do ?

Smile..I have my own business bro...

Plut01:
.


This thread seem like a Déjà vu to me..... From the first comment to the last one on the front-page, I have read something of such before.


Well, Son you have my blessing. Marry the girl and build your life with her. Challenges will come married or not, and having someone by your side will be a good motivation to face it.


.

thank you.

firstratedcitiz:
I am not in a position to advise you to marry or not marry the girl. You'll still go ahead and make your own decision in the end, judging from the way you've been responding to advice here. But I am worried whether at all you're taking the right steps.

You mentioned that both you and the girl in question are students. Obviously your parents are the ones shouldering financial responsibility for your education. But you took upon yourself the burden of bearing responsibility for the girlfriend's education. That's irresponsibility on your own part, if I may say so. How many of your own sisters and younger ones did you even assist in paying their school fees?

Your parents decided to take on the burden of sending you to school so that one day you would assist in paying school fees of the younger ones. But if you finished training that girl in school and she ended up marrying someone else, it would have been a fruitless effort.

Smile, my dad is late..I wasn't born rich.... I'm taking care of every bills in my family my siblings fees inclusive... I'm the first son... sometime ago, I wanted to write my success story or let's say my breakthrough to encourage other youth...but I decided to stop..it will reveal so much about me...I have introduce 3 nairalannder to my business line nd only one is very appreciative till tomorrow...he don't joke with me... he sometimes send me airtime, my birthday he paid for my birthday cake.....let me stop here for now....

OChimex:
Just your explanations show how immature you are. No offence. The excuses you gave for being confused and seeking advice is too flimsy of which a more mentality mature man would never give such as an excuse to get confused about marrying someone he loves.
Maturity comes when you know this world is full of risks and troubles and you try to manage yours without being confused or disorganised.

Wise words!!
Marriage involves adequate preparation, i.e prepare for the known and the unknown, because Marriage changes people.
For ur girlfriend siblings; I don't think that is big issue for u to quit. Just walk on yourself and your relationship by Reading Marriage books, learn more on Marriage and learn on how to manage ur partner and her siblings. Marriage is spiritual, but involves more practical.

Golden147:
What if in the cause of waiting to build another guy came into picture... You know women though not all can be influence plus other peers advise too.... Every guy is afraid of training a woman in school because of their nonsense altitude...can you advise me to take such risk or quit the relationship?

why are you training a girl in school when her parents are alive? You shouldn't in my opinion. Therein lies d reason for your fears n desperation to marry her as soon as possible

Bro. Marriage doesn't have anything to do with age but maturity does. Her brothers should not be the reason you wont marry somebody you claim you love and lemme assume she loves you too. If you don't have issue with her attitude, and you sure you love her very well my guy marry her and you both gat to work on your level of maturity ok.
I think i dislike the aspect of committing suicide she talked about, anyway do what men do if you are ready to be mature mentally, and psychologically. All the best

Well, I can only advice that never marry a burden. Else you will crumble, when you crumble.. They will leave you like a leper.

Golden147:
Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

Don’t mind him.. How can you say someone isn’t ready for something when he himself has declared his readiness? Abeg marry the girl you love.. Her brothers wl automatically distant themselves when you’re married

Skmoda:
Hmmm....lemme read over it again...comhing

Hello my dear brother, if truly you love this girl, don't leave her because of her sibling's attitude. You can never get everything you need in a partner (for a marriage). Besides, you have a option of turning down unwarranted requests from your to-be in-laws. Whereas your girlfriend does not even like their behaviour. My brother, if there's no any other reason(s), please go ahead and perform any necessary/official rite and marry the girl - you can never get everything perfect in a marriage. If you leave her for such excuse/reason, you might end up regretting. Who knows what blemish(es) is/are present in others.

afrika:
Nobody likes to patronize poverty, failure or unsuccessful. Love is good but best when every thing in life is balanced. Let's not manage words.

No lady would want to attach herself where she does not benefit. But guys, if she does not have big ass, she has big bress or something shaa is driving u crazy about her. U tend to forget the basis... Like financial uplift. Now the handwriting is boldly scaring u aware and u are forcing ya self into the affair.

Kwantinew.

By the time u enter fully, we will hope to read ur letter on how they want to kee u because u said u don't have.

she does have those, she' calm nd gives me peace of mind...
She's willing to work or learn a skills but I want to introduce her to my line of business which she has agreed..we both are still looking for a good location for her.

Golden147:
Though I didn't add nobody should advice me to to hustle.... Even as a student, I have a stable income bro...

Boss please can I have your number I need to ask some thing abeg
08134922157

Ikesho:
Firstly you sound like someone in a haste to get married to her but you are scared of the future. Can i ask, what you do for a living & are you the only child & what about your dad, cause you were mentioning only your mum here. My advice is this, take time to monitor the brothers, ask questions about them, then take your decision. Las las, na you get the final decision

well my dad is late, I'm not the only son, infact I'm the first...
I do something meaningful for living...

dozai:
She is a good girl in the present. I cannot say if she will remain the same in the future.
Secondly, I did not see the part where you consulted your father unless he is late.
I did not see where you seek the counsel of your siblings unless you are the only child.
By and large. You are student picking up the responsibilities of another student. Definitely you are a diamond that cannot be thrown away. Have u tried playing broke?? Not being able to pay up her fees again?? Not even pocket money etc. Try it first, then advice yourself. Tankio

dad is late nd I'm the first.... Well she stayed mostly with me as she hardly visit her house because of her brothers not willing to do anything...
She has thought of starting something for I herself, but I told her to wait nd finish school..or I introduce her to my business which is stres free..nd she has already too.
Thank you.

Bros if that family can afford her education they will not give her out yet. U are her gateway their gateways.

jesmond3945:
to be frank with you, you are being played. Now I would love to do an experiment. Tell her that your business has collapsed and you are broke. Do it for one month. Also tell her parents as well. If she stays marry her at all cost. If she start complaining then run. Her brothers aside. Just do the test for your own good and update the House.

I wish I can do that..but she's staying with me.... Honestly she don't like visiting her house..she only calls her mum and dad.

Limassol:
You are very foolish and unintelligent guy(no malice intended bro). Firstly, you are still in school, marriage shouldn't be in your short-term plans atleast for now. Graduate with good grades, acquire in-demand IT skills and develop yourself all round, aiming for these will be more profitable and benefitial for you at this stage of your life. Do you realise how finacially a burden marriage could be especially if became unemployed. 200k is the least that could sustain a single adult in current Nigeria, do you earn double that? Are you deluded? Secondly, who obliged you to sponsor her education? On top say you wan drill toto abi? Are you out of your f**king mind? If you are that generous you would have helped the orphanage. Thirdly, you are extremely naive if you kowtow to her blackmail of commiting suicide if you dont marry her, its a trap and you will regret for the rest of your life if you go ahead with that marriage. And why are her siblings a problem to you. Dude you are too stupid and naive,please GTFOH!

smile..anyways I earn it dubble...
I started my business when I was in my 200l...
Anyways thank you for your advice.

chineduuf:
Bro, obviously you found yourself a good woman. And from your tread you seem to be doing well for yourself too. Sometime ago we saw a tread about a guy whom the bride's family demanded so much for bride price without compromise and then later asking the guy to bear part of the bride brother's wedding burden (Which I for so change am for the family, nonesense). As far as the parents will not compel you to carry the entire family's burden, honestly I will give you a green. Secondly, you should also consider your bride, is she a hustler? She shouldn't end up just being a house wife, can she support the family goals and dreams?
Person weh say if you leave her, na okpoho straight.
Do you plus and minus man.

And as for the brothers, Bleep those niggas man. If the sister is 22, then I believe the brothers should be between 24 and 33. Make them go hustle, man up and clear them, na their mate you be. If your hustle na transferable skill, teach them, rather than give them petty cash.

Not transferable...for my woman... shix willing to work...thank you so much.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Big guy, please I'm also a student, lv100, sponsoring myself.
What kind of business can I go into that will help me... I just love the way u stand in ur academic expenditures

Don’t be fooled both of you are still young and she is just using you to climb ladder

Polynek:
Bro marry Her, give Her brothers when they ask, whenever you have, and if u don't have enough, you explain to them, they have common sense they will understand that everyday no b Christmas, my Candid advice, I wish you all d best

What if they don’t have “common sense” fa

scottB:
What if they don’t have “common sense” fa

ya very funny oo

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Marriage is the real thing, I will advise you not to rush into it just because you don't want to lose her.

Adeagbo77:
Hello my dear brother, if truly you love this girl, don't leave her because of her sibling's attitude. You can never get everything you need in a partner (for a marriage). Besides, you have a option of turning down unwarranted requests from your to-be in-laws. Whereas your girlfriend does not even like their behaviour. My brother, if there's no any other reason(s), please go ahead and perform any necessary/official rite and marry the girl - you can never get everything perfect in a marriage. If you leave her for such excuse/reason, you might end up regretting. Who knows what blemish(es) is/are present in others.

I'm not the one ok.....

Go ahead bro. When they say "love is blind", it means you ignore the negatives her brothers represent. Those that matters in both families already gave the green light. Why worry?

Don't go ahead o. Join the calibers of people who are breaking the yolk and cycle of poverty in that Nigeria!

After you marry finish, you will refuse to use condom and within few years - children.

Let her finish school and get a job first before you marry. Same for you too.

Oga,you are still immature and not ripe for marriage...even with all those properties you have,you never become man...
How can you quit your relationship with a girl just cause of her brothers,you never grow abeg....
The girl has no fault or bad attitude,yet you came here to tell us you are calling it off cause of her brothers..guy,common commot for here���

Golden147:
Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?