hapheeyxz:


This is the best time for both of u....
Once u are together, those big bros will swerve.

Thank you so much.

Yusufisraelj:


[s]You've said nothing sincerely.



@Golden147 the above advise is the best so far here, in this part of the world, people do things late and think it's okay! Most of the people in Nigeria, the major set back is finances else they should have settled down, a friend of ours in US married at 21, then we were about getting into uni, he has a daughter right now that's about 9 years old and a loving family.

However I must add, you are not managing third party interferences well in your relationship. Your obligation is to your lady not her siblings, they have parents for God sake, it's the responsibility of the parents to provide for them, if you support you're doing that as a choice not an obligation and none of her siblings should bully her when you refuse, warn them sternly and put it forward to the parents, that you'll only assist when you have and when you don't nobody should bully your lady or you'll call the police, just saying but you get the point!

More importantly make sure your woman obtains a skill that fetches her good money or she should obtain one. You goal right now is to build yourself and your lady spiritually, relationally (keep genuine people only in your space), mindset (read about marriage and life together), finances (understand how to seriously deal with poverty), Health (understand how to stay healthy) and your Career (learn how to expand your knowledge and become very competent in your skill or business)[/s]

Who gave you the right to determine whose advise is good and whose advise is not? I don't know the first commenter you quoted from anywhere but seeing your comment just infuriated me. What fvcking rubbish! All you posted is pure gabbage and a waste of nairaland space. Nonsense!!!

You're not the custodian of knowledge nor the determinant of what is right or wrong so you have no fvcking right to determine another person's comment. Just post your rubbish and get lost.


As for the OP, thinking of marriage at this time while you're in school is a setback except of course, you're not determined to make good grades, you just want to pass through school. Marriage at this time is a big distraction for someone your age and educational level and carrying a burden bigger than you yet complaining is total folly. Don't start what you can't finish

Mommy's boy.

Before you marry, make sure you have these 3 important skills

1. How to handle women (in and outside the bedroom)
2. How to make money (online and offline)
3. How to manage money

From your writeup, you lack the 3 things above and you seem like a mommy's boy.

Trust me, you still have a long way to go. In fact, you also need to improve your written and spoken English.

Don't be in a hurry to marry.

anthonyuncle:


being matured is beyond riches and material possessions.
a little quake in your life can shatter everything you say you own.

your psychological and mental state is still shaking

this is deep

In addition to all the pieces of advice on here, I’ll say make sure your girl is working and earning before you wife her no matter how much u have .. and u see, it is until u marry that’s when u can fully chest beat if you’re financially buoyant or not.. All what you have are not really a big deed bro, calm down , make sure she ticks all your boxes, make sure you can put up with her condition before u marry her. Dem no Dey marry out of pity. I wish u the best .. cheers

[s][/s]

Liballo:
You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.

You and I know the age got you saying this,that guy really has no problem,maybe you don't know but men of 40+ still get goosebumps on the thought of marriage.
He is ready,Westin again we dey find
They have money and love,these are the only things they need after God

StPete:



As for the OP, thinking of marriage at this time while you're in school is a setback except of course, you're not determined to make good grades, you just want to pass through school. Marriage at this time is a big distraction for someone your age and educational level and carrying a burden bigger than you yet complaining is total folly. Don't start what you can't finish

Abegi na lie jare
Who set the standards for the right marriage abeg
"Nigeria's sentiments"
Saying it will affect his school bla bla
If it doesn't affect it nko
All you see there is their age,you need to read your Bible and also read History,early marriages were even more secured marriages than these times,Bible talking about the woman of your youth
He is progressive,they have love
What again are you looking for?
Grey hair
OP indecisiveness is what is doing you,work on being a bit stingy,yes I said it,build your discretion to be stronger,money and love is the only combo marriage needs, don't mind anybody here screaming about age..

Golden147:

I'm afraid too another guy may come into picture nd I will cry a regret... We have been together for Time nd I know what I want in a lady..she has all....I love her nd afraid another guy may see the qualities nd you know Ladies.... though not all shaaaa...but I'm afraid.

This is why some persons are saying u are not ripe enough for marriage! For a man, marriage is leadership! U are about to lead a family!!! As a man, when u set your mind to do certain things, u do it & damn the consequences. Why are u going about trying so hard to convince everyone? Are they the ones that will sponsor your wedding? If u want to lead a family, u should be able to make certain decisions & stand by it! The way u are wavering on this tells a lot about your level of maturity!

cayorday89:

You are good to go, nothing else dey the matter, you have someone you love and also loves you in return, you have a steady source of income and probably an understanding parent on both sides, nothing should stop you and for the brothers, you are not their responsibility even if your wife is the eldest, you can only do your bit and if it comes to them abusing that bit, shun them and put them in their place, with time they will understand.


What he said is a partial truth which is not applicable in all instances, if not now when is the best time and what else determines marrying for the right reasons if not been able to cater for yourself and your spouse and extended family members IF you are capable of doing so, as one is not obligated to do such.

I like you

horlahwaley:
Bruh i commend ur hustling spirit o, you should be proud of yourself taking care of someones basic needs at 24, kudos... But y una dey rush, take things slow my brother. You are getting it at this your age you can still do more. Don't rush things like that. Enjoy yourself bruh. U still have a long way to go. Marriage doesnt favour man at all, you wont be able to do things on a fastlane. Your family will hold you down. Atleast achieve a lot more. Had it been she has a source of income now i would have advice you to go ahead cos u will definitely support each other but as it is now OYO be ur case.

What is life really?
In lif e you should know more is never a enough,humans are insatiable,na that explore gan gan done reduce marriage to what it is today,your explore is basically being promiscuous,young lovers are more supportive and reliable to each other than agadioke, because the feelings are so crude,chaste and untainted,please what else do you really need again Niko?

Rubbiish:

This is why some persons are saying u are not ripe enough for marriage! For a man, marriage is leadership! U are about to lead a family!!! As a man, when u set your mind to do certain things, u do it & damn the consequences. Why are u going about trying so hard to convince everyone? Are they the ones that will sponsor your wedding? If u want to lead a family, u should be able to make certain decisions & stand by it! The way u are wavering on this tells a lot about your level of maturity!

Chill man
We Nigerians are too hostile
We see the problem but we make it so grievous we end up not being effective in proferring solutions
This same situation can happen to a man of 39,he is a bit meek,all he has to do is work on his stance, I won't give them money, I'm marrying your sister and not your burden, I'll give when I'm inclined to and it won't be a compulsory thing,this is something he can work on within weeks,not going all "level of maturity"...Wetin,what is bad in a 24yr old wanting to settle??

okoroemeka:
it is obvious you have a good lady that will support you,that is the main reason people marry early,I got married at 23yrs when I became friends with a girl I knew I cannot afford to let go,I ended up marrying her and having peace of mind for 20 yrs now,if you leave that girl you will have a hard time finding another like her, don't mind her brothers you can say no to there demands or increase your hustle to accommodate their demand s

Thank you very much Sir
Me I didn't even know marriagenow comes with age group
29-43yrs old

Liballo:
You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.

I logged in because of these comments
Ahn ahn what happen
Nigeria's mess has really shaped us,we now have a new agenda of doing things
How horrible or apologetic should things go to the extent that when we see something positive we still lace our comments with poignant negativity
The young woman in question feel ashamed of her people,she understands it's a stain on her dignity,so please what else do you need Ma?
This guy has assets,lady is educated,just this issue alone will make her pretty supportive of him,so why make life so hard?

Rubbiish:

This is why some persons are saying u are not ripe enough for marriage! For a man, marriage is leadership! U are about to lead a family!!! As a man, when u set your mind to do certain things, u do it & damn the consequences. Why are u going about trying so hard to convince everyone? Are they the ones that will sponsor your wedding? If u want to lead a family, u should be able to make certain decisions & stand by it! The way u are wavering on this tells a lot about your level of maturity!

thank you too.

Golden147:


Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

My dear you got an old soul. Don't mind jealous agbayas telling bs because they don't got their lives in order. Simply say no to the brothers requests after all they are men like u. Better start showing them u no pushover and won't tolerate laziness.

Golden147:
thank you too.

Better be firm if not when married, they go press u die.

StPete:



Who gave you the right to determine whose advise is good and whose advise is not? I don't know the first commenter you quoted from anywhere but seeing your comment just infuriated me. What fvcking rubbish! All you posted is pure gabbage and a waste of nairaland space. Nonsense!!!

You're not the custodian of knowledge nor the determinant of what is right or wrong so you have no fvcking right to determine another person's comment. Just post your rubbish and get lost.


As for the OP, thinking of marriage at this time while you're in school is a setback except of course, you're not determined to make good grades, you just want to pass through school. Marriage at this time is a big distraction for someone your age and educational level and carrying a burden bigger than you yet complaining is total folly. Don't start what you can't finish

I'm not the custodian of knowledge clearly, always improving at areas of lack.

By the way I didn't mean that in derogatory way to the writer.

Mind you this a public forum every opinion is subject to personal interpretation and scrutiny. If you don't want your opinions quoted then don't write, it's that simple, as you've picked offense with mine, I have no issues whatever with it and that's my response to you.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Look, you are probably your own problem not the lady or her brothers.

You said one is owing you some amount of money and you paid for the release of another from prison. Were you forced at gun point to do any of these things and others you have done for them? Is the lady the one disturbing you to help are siblings?

I know the answer to the first question is no. As for the second question, if the answer is no, you can safely get married to your lady. But if the answer is yes, you can talk to her about it and ensure she promise to desist from such habit of getting you involved in her family's issues, otherwise walk away.

In essence, stop living a life of showing off and stop carrying other peoples problems on your head unnecessary. If you don't learn this now, you are most likely to repeat the same mistake in your next relationship.

If ur parents are rich and are ready to support u,u can go ahead,but if not, I pity u.

Sorry,I may sound harsh but the financial burden in marriage is even harsher.

Pls,check urself to know if u are ready to marry,because if u are not,pls just wait a little when u must have graduated.

In view of the above,i say good luck.

seanwilliam:
this is deep

but it is the truth

Golden147

I will not advice you to marry for now because both of you are still too young. My only advice is for you to keep helping her financially, see it as just a Godly help as long as you have the financial means to push her along her education.

REMEMBER: both of you are still too young.

You don't need advice, both of you need time. Just focus on your career.

I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Yikes

Golden147:

Thank you, although I didn't see the sucide as anything....our relationship is has gone beyond...as a matter of fact she and her family has turned down 3 men because of me...the mother said I can't see her through her school finish nd another guy will marry her nd she won't allow such....I think that's why she talk about sucide when I discussed with her....thank you so much.

Where you there when the three guys came?

Greystone:


She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing ur lady.

yes oo

Lucrativress:

Thank you very much Sir
Me I didn't even know marriagenow comes with age group
29-43yrs old

I'm 19, i have a girlfriend, should i go ahead and get married?

@Golden147
At this point of your life marriage is not what you need. When a women feels something for a man, they will confess I can't live without you; You are the apple of my eyes, if you leave me, I will commit suicide and die, bla bla bla. But when that which they feel fade away, there comes the regret of your life.

I will advice you to remove marriage from your thought right now as you are still too young. Pursue your life and your destiny. In 6 years time both of you will become two different persons because time will tell. Time will put both of you to the test, and if both of you prevail, then you are good to Go.

At 22, you can not really ascertain your woman's true character. She might be acting nice because you are her provider. She does not have to bring suicide into the matter.
I would not also trust the parents who are alive and comfortable with the fact that you are paying the daughter's school fees as a boyfriend.
Those brothers would not go away even if you ignore them. Their behaviour is as a result of bad upbringing. If it was just one I the brothers acting like a beggar, I would not judge them but for all four to be like this is not the kind of family that a young successful man should get entangled with...
You must find a way to test your woman for true love before going ahead to marry her.
At 24, you might be financially stable but for the Nigerian society, you might need to be a little older to be able to face the challenges of being a married man to an awkward family, at that.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Having read all these, am not a man, but tell me,

What exactly is the rush for marriage commitment on her

Is it because you don't want another man to pick her before you

Is it because you have spent on her and you realy want her

Is it because your mates have married and you are willing to get married too

Now look at the pross

Her brothers are nuisance am sorry to say this, so getting married to her, makes you to have a link with her brothers, it could be direct or indirect link

Secondly, you are having a percentage in her educational sponsor and you too you are in school, is that the kind of burden you are building yourself with, what if she becomes pregnant, would you be able to shoulder the responsibilities till she finds her bearing

Are you realy set with the money you need for her marriage rites, or you want to deposit on her head, what if you no longer want to go ahead, would you go back to withdraw your deposit or both of you will remain in an inconclusive relationship

Pls for your own interest, think twice but dont rush yet

As for her, she may see you as her last hope because she really wants to leave her family as she is tired of her brothers attitude

Marriage is more than the pictures you see about marriage

She's obviously a good girl whose only fall back option is prostitution. I hear you, I really do.

Greystone:


She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing ur lady.