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Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ZUBY77(m): 3:27pm On Mar 21, 2012
begwong: @op,you are suggesting a cow in place of a bride price(dowry)?
Have you sampled the price tags on cows?
There are cows whose price tag is up to 250k if u dnt know!

You are right but my main point is that money should not be paid for a human being.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ronkebp(f): 3:27pm On Mar 21, 2012
Thank God my hubby did not pay bride-price, he did but was given back that same night, so technically he does not own me, but we belong to eachother.

1 Like

Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ikmoore2(m): 3:28pm On Mar 21, 2012
But come to think of it, why is it that women are fast to remind you that its 21st century when it comes to heading and controlling the family but do not recall it was still in the 21st century when their family kidnapp the man's pocket in the name of bride price.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ZUBY77(m): 3:33pm On Mar 21, 2012
begwong: @op,you are suggesting a cow in place of a bride price(dowry)?
Have you sampled the price tags on cows?
There are cows whose price tag is up to 250k if u dnt know!

You are right but my main point is that money should not be paid for a human being.
Money is a means of trading. I am sure during the times of our ancestors, something else was used not money. This money thing must have originated from Anambra State.cheesy
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by HellaBella(f): 3:34pm On Mar 21, 2012
ZUBY77:

You are right but my main point is that money should not be paid for a human being.

@OP, but a cow as payment is okay Please enlighten me. Do you know what payment means? If I pay with cash, beans, or cow it is still PAYMENT. Why do you advocate paying for bride price with animals or food but not money?
So you are not against bride price just against paying with cash? WHY?

If beans, or eggs, a payment is still made........I'm so confused by your arguments.......

Wait, so if my husband "pays" with yams he doesn't own me/ Does the concept of ownership magically disappear because he paid with food? WTF
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by DualCore1: 3:41pm On Mar 21, 2012
The homepage title of this thread is one sided and it is not right. People putting things on the homepage should please be neutral.

@Topic
Zubby you are high on wet weed.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by KINGwax(m): 3:42pm On Mar 21, 2012
maclatunji:

The fact that you talk of ownership automatically connotes slavery. The treatment of a slave is not a factor in determining who a slave is. A person owned by another is a slave for all intent and purposes, if the person likes, let them be an emperor. Once another actually owns them, they are a slave to him/her.
hey, halt right there! Cos a female dog is your b¡tch doesn't mean you'll treat it wrongly. And really, u might. Didn't your real owners jst collect some cash in lieu of you?
Own up guys, u've being paid for!
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ZUBY77(m): 3:46pm On Mar 21, 2012
HellaBella:

@OP, but a cow as payment is okay Please enlighten me. Do you know what payment means? If I pay with cash, beans, or cow it is still PAYMENT. Why do you advocate paying for bride price with animals or food but not money?
So you are not against bride price just against paying with cash? WHY?

If beans, or eggs, a payment is still made........I'm so confused by your arguments.......

Wait, so if my husband "pays" with yams he doesn't own me/ Does the concept of ownership magically disappear because he paid with food? WTF

Thanks for bringing this up. I guess you are not igbo. In igbo culture, my culture, when a woman dies, the husbands people gives a cow or a she goat to the woman's people in exchange for her life. So what i am trying to say is that a living thing makes more sense. Not yam or beans. Those things are not breathing like humans.
Logically if a cow was used as a bride price, then when the woman dies, her people will recieve a cow. That makes more sense in the concept of marriage or partnership. You cant get money when a woman dies. Maybe we should re-write some of our cultures.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by KINGwax(m): 3:48pm On Mar 21, 2012
ronkebp: Thank God my hubby did not pay bride-price, he did but was given back that same night, so technically he does not own me, but we belong to eachother.
in most yoruba states, they give back your bride price, either that might or in front of every one present. In my family, sorry, they aint for sale but for keeps to cherish and love!
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ZUBY77(m): 3:49pm On Mar 21, 2012
Dual Core: The homepage title of this thread is one sided and it is not right. People putting things on the homepage should please be neutral.

@Topic
Zubby you are high on wet weed.

I agree with you on the homepage issue. I think the person who changed it is a woman.
For the weed part, you may not be far from the truth.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by free2ryhme: 3:51pm On Mar 21, 2012
pemimi: You didn't answer my 1st question. There are families that don't collect a DIME. Are their daughters free commodities?
Babe mention the tribe name or forever hold your peace
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by KINGwax(m): 3:53pm On Mar 21, 2012
ZUBY77:

You are right but my main point is that money should not be paid for a human being.
Money is a means of trading. I am sure during the times of our ancestors, something else was used not money. This money thing must have originated from Anambra State.cheesy
bros, whether u paid wit cash or any-fuckin-other thing, everything still na trade by barter!
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by free2ryhme: 3:53pm On Mar 21, 2012
ronkebp: Thank God my hubby did not pay bride-price, he did but was given back that same night, so technically he does not own me, but we belong to eachother.
your people collect sometime b4 they returnd sometime right? Simple Somethign was collecte thus the man paid
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by probably: 3:58pm On Mar 21, 2012
fellis:
. . . . . .one of the few Nairalanders that I had regard for.
Anyway.
Bluetooth, all men are not superior to women and neither are all women superior to men.
SOME men are superior to women and SOME women are superior to men.
Am sure that if I ask you whether those Agberos and touts in motor parks are superior to your mother and sisters, you would say no.
very well said
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by KINGwax(m): 3:59pm On Mar 21, 2012
free2ryhme: Babe mention the tribe name or forever hold your peace
guy, one ronkë in this thread already told u her parents returned the bride price and in my family too, we will collect it right in front of everyone and return it to you in from of them since they aint selling her to your, there're giving her to you. Most yoruba families do this. Do your research
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ronkebp(f): 4:01pm On Mar 21, 2012
Zuby77, Have you ever heard of culture?? this is the culture here in Nigeria and most African countries, whether you pay cash or buy goats, cows and other things, it is not that you are buying or paying for the wife you want to marry.

It all boils down to appreciation, the men or family of the man, appreciates the woman and her family. If a man decides to pay 250,000 naira or so, to his wife's family and think because he has paid therefore he owns her, he is mistaken, he should better go and collect his money back... because (read my fingers, since you cannot see my lips) HE DOES NOT OWN HER, in anyway, but the man and the woman Belong to eachother ( they are properties of eachother), how many of the items that he buys and gives to the family of the girl that the lady brings to her matrimonial home?
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by KINGwax(m): 4:02pm On Mar 21, 2012
free2ryhme: Babe mention the tribe name or forever hold your peace
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by Reference(m): 4:04pm On Mar 21, 2012
Payment for anything connotes ownership whether temporary as in leasing or permanently as in purchase. Ancient culture had dowries because that is exactly what it was men virtually owned women. Now that no man is under bond and women are gaining liberty and protection fast, the dowry system should be abrogated and any family receiving dowry should know they have effectively sold off their daughter.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by Nobody: 4:05pm On Mar 21, 2012
say no to bride price, say no to extortion, say no bribery,

Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ronkebp(f): 4:07pm On Mar 21, 2012
KINGwax: guy, one ronkë in this thread already told u her parents returned the bride price and in my family too, we will collect it right in front of everyone and return it to you in from of them since they aint selling her to your, there're giving her to you. Most yoruba families do this. Do your research

it is usually returned infront of family members, infact, the chief in my family did the returning to my hubby not my dad.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by doofanc: 4:08pm On Mar 21, 2012
We must do away with that aspect of our culture that advocates PAYMENT IN EXCHANGE FOR A HUMAN.

whether its the man or woman doing the payment is irrelevant.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by free2ryhme: 4:11pm On Mar 21, 2012
KINGwax: guy, one ronkë in this thread already told u her parents returned the bride price and in my family too, we will collect it right in front of everyone and return it to you in from of them since they aint selling her to your, there're giving her to you. Most yoruba families do this. Do your research

@Kingmax, what tribe r u from? Dont get me wrong. Soemthing was collected and returned right? y do u have to collect something if you know you will return it eventually?
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by macob(m): 4:11pm On Mar 21, 2012
ZUBBY u r just a stark epitome of joblessness in nigeria. get a life plz

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Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by doofanc: 4:15pm On Mar 21, 2012
ronkebp: Thank God my hubby did not pay bride-price, he did but was given back that same night, so technically he does not own me, but we belong to eachother.

this is what we should be advocating. Even if the money is indeed paid just for the sake of the ceremony, i would expect any woman who values her worth to return it then and there.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ronkebp(f): 4:15pm On Mar 21, 2012
free2ryhme:

@Kingmax, what tribe r u from? Dont get me wrong. Soemthing was collected and returned right? y do u have to collect something if you know you will return it eventually?

CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Somethings have to be done, and the husbands understand during the return that they are not collecting the bride price from them/him, because they have every right to take their daughters back from the men, if the women/wives are being maltreated.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ronkebp(f): 4:17pm On Mar 21, 2012
doofanc:

this is what we should be advocating. Even if the money is indeed paid just for the sake of the ceremony, i would expect any woman who values her worth to return it then and there.

The woman is not given the money, her family (at large and not just the immediate family) is in control of the money. My wedding list came from the chief in my fathers clan (or whatever) it did not come from my parents.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by free2ryhme: 4:17pm On Mar 21, 2012
ronkebp:

it is usually returned infront of family members, infact, the chief in my family did the returning to my hubby not my dad.

@ ronke y did they collect something in the first place?
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by free2ryhme: 4:20pm On Mar 21, 2012
ronkebp:

CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Somethings have to be done, and the husbands understand during the return that they are not collecting the bride price from them/him, because they have every right to take their daughters back from the men, if the women/wives are being maltreated.
my question is if the woman is free say it from they very minute not collect somtin and return
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ZUBY77(m): 4:22pm On Mar 21, 2012
Reference: Payment for anything connotes ownership whether temporary as in leasing or permanently as in purchase. Ancient culture had dowries because that is exactly what it was men virtually owned women. Now that no man is under bond and women are gaining liberty and protection fast, the dowry system should be abrogated and any family receiving dowry should know they have effectively sold off their daughter.

Thank you for being sensitive.
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by free2ryhme: 4:31pm On Mar 21, 2012
ZUBY77:

Thank you for being sensitive.

the dowry system will forever be part of our culture and will never be abrogated because it is an aspect of our tradition that creates some sort of bonding btw and amongs those involve in the act. In this act an entire clan or families or group of families are involve and it goes to send a signal that you have a heritage and customs and you dont live your lives as you so pls irrespect of whether it is 21st century or not.


But you fit try abrogate you own tradition and see the repercussion.. lol and trust me there will always be a repercussion
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by agiboma(f): 4:43pm On Mar 21, 2012
@ OP I can write a novel as to how wrong your notion is but ill just sum it up in 3 words "you are crazy"
Re: Learn To Live With This: Men Owns Women. by ronkebp(f): 4:47pm On Mar 21, 2012
free2ryhme: my question is if the woman is free say it from they very minute not collect somtin and return

They ''collected and returned'' that same day, BIG DEAL!!!!!

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