₦airaland Forum

binarymachine:
I thought you loved me… you used to be so charming and nice to me, texting me almost every second of the day…..oh babe, you’re so nice, you’re beautiful, we are so compatible. Come meet my mom. Two months into the Relationship, Boom. The real narcissistic personality comes out. They are not able to regulate their emotions any longer. They become very angry quickly especially when they’re not getting their way, they become very hypersensitive to criticism. They literally doubts you on almost everything leaving you feeling like you’ve gone crazy.

Narcissistic partners are very captivating at the initial stage of a relationship and with time, the relationship becomes very challenging, how well do you know your partner? How well can you tell if they have these traits? Accordingly, There are certain things to look out for in your partner to conclusively tell he or she is narcissistic.

The term “Narcissism” is most times used in recent years without understanding it’s indept meaning. Let’s look at the meaning of narcissism.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism as otherwise seen as Narcissistic personality disorders (NPD) by psychologist is defined as a trait that solely relates to insecurity, a pattern which is characterized by lack of empathy, controlling, arrogant, inability for one to manage any kind of disappointment, chronic validation seeking, feeling entitled, grandiosity, extremely self centered with some degree of selfishness. Study shows that there are 4 types of Narcissism and not all Narcissist are the same. For the purpose of this topic I may not want to go into that. Alot of people have either found themselves in relationships with such partners or encountered people who exhibit these tendencies.

Who Is A Narcissistic Partner?

Narcissistic Partner is an insecure person in a relationship who seem very charming and nice at the start of a relationship but later becomes that person who lacks empathy, feels entitled, always expecting special treatment to be given to them but nobody else, they’re very concerned about their appearance, very prone to throwing tantrums, with too much sense of self importance, they get angry very quickly especially if they don’t get their way.

How Well can you tell if your partner is a narcissist?

Ever noticed your partner liking and showing so much care at the beginning of the relationship and later declines as the likability decreases, they only tend to appreciate you when in need? They become highly self centered, Your value comes when you’re able to meet their needs, they get hurt and lash out easily, their only concerns are their goals and reputation, lacks empathy whereby your significant other should be loving. They are all about knowing how you feel about them. all about themselves. Desperately needing validation and adoration, Very controlling, watch their reaction toward criticism, do they over react? Are they very manipulative and defensive? Do they make you feel bad for ever speaking up? Are they the type that’s always on the “ I know more than you” side? Feeling too important, acting like they know more than their partner while their partner is always wrong? Projecting everything they can back at you leaving you feeling You’re not enough, Are they ready to sacrifice anything on the platter of their ego? With too much sense of entitlement? These are signs you should look out for in your partner, if you find these traits in them, it’s safe to say they may be narcissist.

Ultimately, Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner takes alot of work and patience because they make you feel very special until these feelings start to shift , as soon as there are some stress in their system, maybe things not going as planned, work day didn’t go the way they want, kids behaving badly, they become manipulative, Gaslights you, egocentric, extremely self centered and you begin to blame yourself for their actions, you devalue yourself, you loose focus and self esteem.

Narcissistic partners projects issues or fault back unto their partners, they say things like, “you made me do what I did, you didn’t allow me to finish what I had to say, you interrupted me” . Once this happens, you may not want to confront them any longer, they dismiss you with that, they make you understand their point is more important than what you had to say. The point you’re trying to make at that point doesn’t make any sense. They make you look like you’re the controlling one while they are ,trying to make you feel you’re the one with the issue here, and you’ll just pull back and begin to apologize. This is exactly what they want ,they want you to feel you’re the one with the problem and not them. If you try to point their mistakes or remind them, maybe they forgot to pay some bills they promised, they will be like” because you’ve done it before, please face your problems.

People in this relationship always feel they’re not enough“ If I was enough, he wouldn’t cheat on me, if I was enough, he wouldn’t insult me, if I was enough, he would be present when I needed him, if I was enough he wouldn’t do this and that” These aching feeling of not being enough is one of those Signs you’re currently in a relationship with a narcissist, you keep making excuses for them , hoping they’ll change, but no matter how you try, they just make you feel you’re never enough. Oh please, just stop this, the truth is that it has nothing to do with you, they just can’t regulate their self esteem, they’re are now insecure, they now feel entitled, broken inside, they tend to protect it by all means, they feel no one is better than them.

Unfortunately, people with narcissistic personality often see nothing wrong with what they do, as such there’s no point for change in them, in as much as a narcissist cannot completely change, there are certain things they could do in hope to recovering such Relationship. Narcissistic partners should break out of the norm and focus on showing more empathy for others, they should care about how others feel, they should drop their ego, Stop thinking they are better than others, they should welcome critics as a step to their growth and reviving a narcissistic Relationship.
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/06/25/narcissistic-relationship-how-well-can-you-tell-if-you-are-dating-a-narcissist/

Epistle. No dey waste your time to type this long nonsense.

Moneywirer:
This is the major reason why everyone has to have a very cordial relationship with the Holy Spirit, He guides you into all truth and even in the aspect of who you should get married to.

True, that's what the bible said.
But the most Fire brand Holyspirit filled Christians are the ones falling for ponzi schemes and stuck in some of the worst relationships.

So how do you know the Holyspirit is guiding you pr you're guiding yourself?

Plut01:
.


Thank you. My point exactly!

Even on this thread, almost everyone are calling their ex a narcist and I believe their ex would probably be saying same thing if they read a thread like this.


.

That's one thing about them, they are quick to point fingers. I think most of them are totally unaware of their behavior. It's a subconscious Mindset. They live in a grandiose self righteous reality. The sad part of this is that some of them will even convince their partner they are the Narcissists.

Just say men. Nonsense. Even the so called "Adult" will want to control/ say when you should ovulate, if they can. Very needlessly insecure and childish entities. And the write-up is very apt, by the way.

Ladylawyer:
Lol... you wish

will you teach me how to be romantic

I am very patient and calm with my partners even in critical times because if I act upon my anger, it will be history.


On one occasion, I knew my partner was cheating yet I played cool...amongst others...until they all realize they were fooling themselves.

I am one person who'll never confront a cheat. I'll rather wait until five minutes to the exchange of marital vows then call off the wedding.


I love peace of mind.

biddostandard:
will you teach me how to be romantic

Lol...

Ladylawyer:
Lol...

abi nah

[quote author=Ladylawyer post=104465589][/quote]

pansophist:
I can relate. It takes me just a week to know that this sweet girl that is in front of me was a narcissist, even worse, she suffers from Princess syndrome join. But I first doubted it, I knew something was off. So I was observing, entering a month, then it becomes clear. My next strategy was to exit, but again, you want to exit in such a way that they can not revenge because they are very vengeful and to hurt them deeply, treat them with indifference.

You only need to experience one narc, to know them. They are perfect chameleons, and always target good guys, but very stupid. Their behaviours can only go far with people that are insecure. If you're self assured, autonomous and not insecure, they will have nothing over you. This emotional vampires can easily be spotted by INFJ personality types.

"INFJ" can't be narcissists themselves?

Hello

BRATISLAVA:
"INFJ" can't be narcissists themselves?

They can, and they make the worse narcisst. Deadlier than any kind of narcisst. And its because INFJ personality types are the god of manipulation, narcissistic people are amateurs and nothing but pencils in their hands.

Think of some of the most renowned folks that deal and wrote extensively about narcs, you'll see that they are INFJ (eg Carl Jung). InFJ are natures balancers to narcissism. If you want a narc to shit on his pants, match with a INFJ that is aware. Narc are only exploitative to people that don't know them. I deal with them. Well.

If this is true then I may need help chaaaa

R2bees:
Once you figure them out they will flee. Although I feel Empaths need them at some point in their life. They tend to speed up awakening/enlightenment in Empath. Did you notice how you become fully aware and enlightened after your encounter with one?. Now I have mastered their crafts, I can smell them from afar. Like you said a fully aware Empath is a Narcissist worst nightmare.

Their fleeing away is the 3rd Stage of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) called Discard stage. This stage is the terminal point of the entire fraud. Mine created a drama around 2am with all manners of abuses,lying, blameshifting etc as she had been doing in the last 8 years. She threatened to leave and i said let her be, surprisingly, she left to our neighbours house and cooked up lies about me. It was in the morning my neighbour was telling me about all the lies, by then she had left the estate. One thing about Narcs is that before they discard they would have secured another prospective victim who will also suffer what you have suffered. Life with a Narc is like hell on earth. Living with a Narc is like living in a toxic waste bin.

I think I’ve dated one I’m not completely sure yet bt it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Drama or an issue every other day, I have to check up on her regularly or at intervals or she begins to think I don’t care or find her attractive which wasn’t the case Just that when I’m busy I don’t have time for too many distractions or things that can wait. She always wants to be the center of my attention which she actually was bt it became very manipulative and selfish at some point and That got me extremely pissed off at some point.

harmony75:
A narcissist partner or sibling even parent can cause you alot of emotional trauma! No peace they're always ready for quarrels all the time. Peace is very expensive with these people! Pls be at alert they pretend so much n relationship but you know you cannot hide a smoke that character will sure come out so singles use your head because if u marry such you will end up being lonely in that marriage!

You just described someone I know. Always ready for a fight. Simple question turns to argument. Advice too, argument. Always ready to put you down. Finds joy in your humiliation and sadness. Always in competition with you for no reason. Craves attention at all times. When you get a little attention, they can even fight the person too. I see them as psychos.

Most people who are attracted to narcissists have fundamental problems like the OP.

How do I pronounce this? Narki - or Narsi?

Second time I'm coming across narcissistic word today. The first is an article from punch columnist Adelakun

Having narcissist as a parent is the worst. They make you feel less human.

binarymachine:
I thought you loved me… you used to be so charming and nice to me, texting me almost every second of the day…..oh babe, you’re so nice, you’re beautiful, we are so compatible. Come meet my mom. Two months into the Relationship, Boom. The real narcissistic personality comes out. They are not able to regulate their emotions any longer. They become very angry quickly especially when they’re not getting their way, they become very hypersensitive to criticism. They literally doubts you on almost everything leaving you feeling like you’ve gone crazy.

Narcissistic partners are very captivating at the initial stage of a relationship and with time, the relationship becomes very challenging, how well do you know your partner? How well can you tell if they have these traits? Accordingly, There are certain things to look out for in your partner to conclusively tell he or she is narcissistic.

The term “Narcissism” is most times used in recent years without understanding it’s indept meaning. Let’s look at the meaning of narcissism.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism as otherwise seen as Narcissistic personality disorders (NPD) by psychologist is defined as a trait that solely relates to insecurity, a pattern which is characterized by lack of empathy, controlling, arrogant, inability for one to manage any kind of disappointment, chronic validation seeking, feeling entitled, grandiosity, extremely self centered with some degree of selfishness. Study shows that there are 4 types of Narcissism and not all Narcissist are the same. For the purpose of this topic I may not want to go into that. Alot of people have either found themselves in relationships with such partners or encountered people who exhibit these tendencies.

Who Is A Narcissistic Partner?

Narcissistic Partner is an insecure person in a relationship who seem very charming and nice at the start of a relationship but later becomes that person who lacks empathy, feels entitled, always expecting special treatment to be given to them but nobody else, they’re very concerned about their appearance, very prone to throwing tantrums, with too much sense of self importance, they get angry very quickly especially if they don’t get their way.

How Well can you tell if your partner is a narcissist?

Ever noticed your partner liking and showing so much care at the beginning of the relationship and later declines as the likability decreases, they only tend to appreciate you when in need? They become highly self centered, Your value comes when you’re able to meet their needs, they get hurt and lash out easily, their only concerns are their goals and reputation, lacks empathy whereby your significant other should be loving. They are all about knowing how you feel about them. all about themselves. Desperately needing validation and adoration, Very controlling, watch their reaction toward criticism, do they over react? Are they very manipulative and defensive? Do they make you feel bad for ever speaking up? Are they the type that’s always on the “ I know more than you” side? Feeling too important, acting like they know more than their partner while their partner is always wrong? Projecting everything they can back at you leaving you feeling You’re not enough, Are they ready to sacrifice anything on the platter of their ego? With too much sense of entitlement? These are signs you should look out for in your partner, if you find these traits in them, it’s safe to say they may be narcissist.

Ultimately, Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner takes alot of work and patience because they make you feel very special until these feelings start to shift , as soon as there are some stress in their system, maybe things not going as planned, work day didn’t go the way they want, kids behaving badly, they become manipulative, Gaslights you, egocentric, extremely self centered and you begin to blame yourself for their actions, you devalue yourself, you loose focus and self esteem.

Narcissistic partners projects issues or fault back unto their partners, they say things like, “you made me do what I did, you didn’t allow me to finish what I had to say, you interrupted me” . Once this happens, you may not want to confront them any longer, they dismiss you with that, they make you understand their point is more important than what you had to say. The point you’re trying to make at that point doesn’t make any sense. They make you look like you’re the controlling one while they are ,trying to make you feel you’re the one with the issue here, and you’ll just pull back and begin to apologize. This is exactly what they want ,they want you to feel you’re the one with the problem and not them. If you try to point their mistakes or remind them, maybe they forgot to pay some bills they promised, they will be like” because you’ve done it before, please face your problems.

People in this relationship always feel they’re not enough“ If I was enough, he wouldn’t cheat on me, if I was enough, he wouldn’t insult me, if I was enough, he would be present when I needed him, if I was enough he wouldn’t do this and that” These aching feeling of not being enough is one of those Signs you’re currently in a relationship with a narcissist, you keep making excuses for them , hoping they’ll change, but no matter how you try, they just make you feel you’re never enough. Oh please, just stop this, the truth is that it has nothing to do with you, they just can’t regulate their self esteem, they’re are now insecure, they now feel entitled, broken inside, they tend to protect it by all means, they feel no one is better than them.

Unfortunately, people with narcissistic personality often see nothing wrong with what they do, as such there’s no point for change in them, in as much as a narcissist cannot completely change, there are certain things they could do in hope to recovering such Relationship. Narcissistic partners should break out of the norm and focus on showing more empathy for others, they should care about how others feel, they should drop their ego, Stop thinking they are better than others, they should welcome critics as a step to their growth and reviving a narcissistic Relationship.
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/06/25/narcissistic-relationship-how-well-can-you-tell-if-you-are-dating-a-narcissist/

binarymachine:
I thought you loved me… you used to be so charming and nice to me, texting me almost every second of the day…..oh babe, you’re so nice, you’re beautiful, we are so compatible. Come meet my mom. Two months into the Relationship, Boom. The real narcissistic personality comes out. They are not able to regulate their emotions any longer. They become very angry quickly especially when they’re not getting their way, they become very hypersensitive to criticism. They literally doubts you on almost everything leaving you feeling like you’ve gone crazy.

Narcissistic partners are very captivating at the initial stage of a relationship and with time, the relationship becomes very challenging, how well do you know your partner? How well can you tell if they have these traits? Accordingly, There are certain things to look out for in your partner to conclusively tell he or she is narcissistic.

The term “Narcissism” is most times used in recent years without understanding it’s indept meaning. Let’s look at the meaning of narcissism.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism as otherwise seen as Narcissistic personality disorders (NPD) by psychologist is defined as a trait that solely relates to insecurity, a pattern which is characterized by lack of empathy, controlling, arrogant, inability for one to manage any kind of disappointment, chronic validation seeking, feeling entitled, grandiosity, extremely self centered with some degree of selfishness. Study shows that there are 4 types of Narcissism and not all Narcissist are the same. For the purpose of this topic I may not want to go into that. Alot of people have either found themselves in relationships with such partners or encountered people who exhibit these tendencies.

Who Is A Narcissistic Partner?

Narcissistic Partner is an insecure person in a relationship who seem very charming and nice at the start of a relationship but later becomes that person who lacks empathy, feels entitled, always expecting special treatment to be given to them but nobody else, they’re very concerned about their appearance, very prone to throwing tantrums, with too much sense of self importance, they get angry very quickly especially if they don’t get their way.

How Well can you tell if your partner is a narcissist?

Ever noticed your partner liking and showing so much care at the beginning of the relationship and later declines as the likability decreases, they only tend to appreciate you when in need? They become highly self centered, Your value comes when you’re able to meet their needs, they get hurt and lash out easily, their only concerns are their goals and reputation, lacks empathy whereby your significant other should be loving. They are all about knowing how you feel about them. all about themselves. Desperately needing validation and adoration, Very controlling, watch their reaction toward criticism, do they over react? Are they very manipulative and defensive? Do they make you feel bad for ever speaking up? Are they the type that’s always on the “ I know more than you” side? Feeling too important, acting like they know more than their partner while their partner is always wrong? Projecting everything they can back at you leaving you feeling You’re not enough, Are they ready to sacrifice anything on the platter of their ego? With too much sense of entitlement? These are signs you should look out for in your partner, if you find these traits in them, it’s safe to say they may be narcissist.

Ultimately, Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner takes alot of work and patience because they make you feel very special until these feelings start to shift , as soon as there are some stress in their system, maybe things not going as planned, work day didn’t go the way they want, kids behaving badly, they become manipulative, Gaslights you, egocentric, extremely self centered and you begin to blame yourself for their actions, you devalue yourself, you loose focus and self esteem.

Narcissistic partners projects issues or fault back unto their partners, they say things like, “you made me do what I did, you didn’t allow me to finish what I had to say, you interrupted me” . Once this happens, you may not want to confront them any longer, they dismiss you with that, they make you understand their point is more important than what you had to say. The point you’re trying to make at that point doesn’t make any sense. They make you look like you’re the controlling one while they are ,trying to make you feel you’re the one with the issue here, and you’ll just pull back and begin to apologize. This is exactly what they want ,they want you to feel you’re the one with the problem and not them. If you try to point their mistakes or remind them, maybe they forgot to pay some bills they promised, they will be like” because you’ve done it before, please face your problems.

People in this relationship always feel they’re not enough“ If I was enough, he wouldn’t cheat on me, if I was enough, he wouldn’t insult me, if I was enough, he would be present when I needed him, if I was enough he wouldn’t do this and that” These aching feeling of not being enough is one of those Signs you’re currently in a relationship with a narcissist, you keep making excuses for them , hoping they’ll change, but no matter how you try, they just make you feel you’re never enough. Oh please, just stop this, the truth is that it has nothing to do with you, they just can’t regulate their self esteem, they’re are now insecure, they now feel entitled, broken inside, they tend to protect it by all means, they feel no one is better than them.

Unfortunately, people with narcissistic personality often see nothing wrong with what they do, as such there’s no point for change in them, in as much as a narcissist cannot completely change, there are certain things they could do in hope to recovering such Relationship. Narcissistic partners should break out of the norm and focus on showing more empathy for others, they should care about how others feel, they should drop their ego, Stop thinking they are better than others, they should welcome critics as a step to their growth and reviving a narcissistic Relationship.
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/06/25/narcissistic-relationship-how-well-can-you-tell-if-you-are-dating-a-narcissist/

Seems I have some of these trait though I'm not in a relationship. Have to work on myself

abbey621:
Here's a shocker, majority of humans in this world are narcissists. It is one of the core traits of being human, let no one tell you otherwise! In life everything must be looked at in terms of severity, we all have that dark side but majority of us are fortunate to have anchors that limits that darkness. Behavioral analysis of the human psyche is a controversial yet often misguided journey, what you call narcissistic, another will call assertive or leadership. For example in the business world, the best and most successful business moguls are by definition narcissist, they are obssessed with their craft and often will break your heart if you don't have a thick skin. In relationships, if you are dating a man or married to a man that basically does everything for you then naturally you've given him the power of a narcissist, same goes for guys who can't cook, sleep or think properly without their girlfriend/wife.

It's part of life and it is completely unavoidable, the real question here is this, how does one narcisst maintain a relationship with another narcisst? Think about it, unless you don't have an emotional connection with your partner, how do you resist the urge to have a say in how they dress, eat, mingle etc? Your woman did hair, makeup and you didn't even notice due to hectic work schedule, do you call her a narcissist for having emotional tantrum or getting upset? You are broke and could not fulfill a promise to your wife so you bone face and start a fight just to avoid that promise, are you a narcissist? It's one thing to throw around fancy words and use theories, it's another to actually view things in practical/real life.

@bold:

Very much on point!

dannyrhymes600:
Op you are on point. Nairalanders won't understand or care to read because it doesn't have pornographic content. Best post I have read this week

Chai...

Ahmback:
one of them spotted already

lovchalice:
A narcissist worst nightmare is an educated empath
Everyone has to be educated about narcs
I nearly lost and sanity and life when i dated one
Now I can smell them from a mile

Very true...Dating one can be brain draining...Especially when you are intelligent...They like to be the centre...And when they can't, all hell will lose.

Ladylawyer:
I didn't know about the word naracissim until recently. And i also learnt one thing, they mostly attach themselves to people with low self esteem. If you value yourself they wouldn't have so much power over you and so they will take off with the speed of light because the supply which they seek from you, they will not get.
They feel better when they oppress you and make you cry. The tears of their significant other gives the narcissist so much joy.

Correct

/
Be careful listening to western psychologists and their classifications of human behaviours. In their world, nobody is normal. Do you remember Drapetomania? It was once classified as a mental disorder for slaves to run away from their masters. Sometimes it pays to put down the textbooks and use one's God given brain.

/

People really abuse that term (narcissist). It's enough to call someone toxic. You don't need to attempt to diagnose them. And once you've identified negative behaviors and unwillingness to change, move on.

It's also important to date someone for a while. Unless someone is a sociopath, they can't really hide who they are for very long. It's a compulsion for toxic people. That said, people can change. But they have to want it, and actively work towards it. And it may involve medication.

Also, toxic people may be happy with other toxic people. Some people actually live well like this. They like each other's mild dysfunction. Some toxic people need to admit who they are and what they prefer, and stop trying to build relationships with those who aren't toxic.

It may not be politically correct, but people from certain backgrounds are more likely to be toxic. If you don't want any parts of dysfunction, you may want to be careful about choosing certain partners. Right or wrong, people born into chaos/dysfunction often find it harder to emerge from it as healthy people. Dysfunction can come from poverty, culture, instability, trauma, less education, or other problems. It's not that you can't have a good relationship with these people. It's that your chances are lower.

Bryan88:
CALL ME AND TELL ME WHAT THE POST IS ALL ABOUT PLS.

You go pay?

Be wary of Narcissist, they are psychologically disordered human beings that will never change. There are 3 Stages:
Stage1 (Love bombing or Idealism stage)
When you meet at the beginning, they will put up good qualities that will make you feel you have met your soulmate. They will shower you with all manners of gifts so early that will make you say, this is too good to be true. They will rush you into a very serious relationship or marriage. After settling down in a relationship, within a month, you will start seeing the true villain in them. The moment you start questioning their excesses and holding them accountable for their wrongs, they will quickly swing to stage 2.

Stage 2 (Devaluation stage) At this stage they will start deploying their arsenals like, lying, smear campaign, manipulation, silent treatment, gaslighting, blame shifting, put downs etc against you to project you as the villain to the public including your family and friends. At this stage they have started cheating on you and will even accuse you of doing same. This stage will be full of psychological and physical warfare on a constant basis all in a bid to protecting the 'falseself'. The victim by now would have known the Narc inside out and that's what they hate because they hate truth with passion.

Stage 3 (Discard stage) The features of Stage 2 at this stage would have reached the peak and the Narc would have secured a new replacement. The Narc will now be planning on how to brutally discard the victim. The discard by the Narc is imminent to avoid narcissistic injury (i.e. where the reverse is the case).

Note: Don't be hasty, when a new partner is to fast, slow down the speed of the relationship and shine your eyes. They are very sneaky, subtlety devious and cunny.

I’m really into a relationship with one now
And facing same issues stated right here