₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
This is a very good question that seeks to reveal ones' hypocrisy, but the truth is the situation here is totally different from the one in the OP.

A wife confessing to her husband that she's pregnant for her side-bobo should/must naturally end the marriage. No compromises!
I mean, is a husband supposed to take ownership of another man's baby, raise him/her with his money and play daddy to it?
Or will the wife handover the child to the side-bobo and have nothing to do with it anymore?

How exactly is a peaceful resolution supposed to play out in the above scenario, I wonder...


It's a totally different situation where a husband is the one who has a child with his side-chick.
He can remain married, keep the child away & with its mother without needing/asking his wife to play mummy.

Eriokanmi:
If she tries it, she's a loser for life. Please you people should just allow only those who are married to offer genuine advice. Most people's comments here simply showed you're all single. I'm not in support of this happening but this is expected in two out of ten marriages. It's an age-long happening. If it doesn't happen to one marriage, good luck but if it happens to another, the best way is apply knowledge in fixing it.

The lady could ask for space for a while until when things calm, instead of quitting. There are many more would-be baby mamas our there, waiting to enter. The one who had a baby for him outside wedlock could be the winner eventually. I'd rather advise her to seek God's wisdom instead.

galantjoe:
Do your best and leave rest for her to decide.

Where single ladies are finding it difficult to marry talkless of single mom of two.

Plus she has nothing doing.


I don't support cheating but where it happens one have to endure because you can't expect him to abandon his blood outside just to please her,. She is selfish and self centered

2ndtimeuncle:
It rains everywhere, I don't want her to make a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.

galantjoe:
Do your best and leave rest for her to decide.

Where single ladies are finding it difficult to marry talkless of single mom of two.

Plus she has nothing doing.


I don't support cheating but where it happens one have to endure because you can't expect him to abandon his blood outside just to please her,. She is selfish and self centered

BirtherOfKings:
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2ndtimeuncle:
Good morning fellow nairalanders, I hope your day is going well though mine didn't start so well. I am a nairalander but I have to open this account for this. I have an issue bothering me, I will try to keep my story as brief as possible.

I am a guy from a humble background. My parents had only two children, myself and my younger sister who is now married with two kids. She had her last baby boy some time early this month. Her marriage with this guy ( my brother inlaw) has been one I considered relatively peaceful. That is from my own perspective knowing that there's no marriage without one or two misunderstanding here or there at some point.

Well, she found out that her husband got another girl pregnant who gave birth to a baby girl. My sister found out after she gave birth to her first son. Her husband was the one that confessed to her that he has another child outside their marriage. They settled the issue and moved on he promised he would end the relationship he had with the baby mama.

Last year, during the Covid19 period, my sister found out that he was still seeing his baby mama after she saw their chats. She confronted him and he denied having anything to do with the baby mama except for sending money for his daughter's upkeep once in a while. It was a big issue which was brought to the attention the two families. They found a way to settle after a lot pleading and talking to the two of them.

To cut the long story short, she sent me screenshots that proves that he is still seeing the baby mama. In one of the screenshot he wants to see her in their normal place and the girl agreed but doesn't want them have sex on this particular occasion. My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around . She is yet to confront her husband because I managed to convince her to keep it on hold till she calms down.

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

2ndtimeuncle:
Good morning fellow nairalanders, I hope your day is going well though mine didn't start so well. I am a nairalander but I have to open this account for this. I have an issue bothering me, I will try to keep my story as brief as possible.

I am a guy from a humble background. My parents had only two children, myself and my younger sister who is now married with two kids. She had her last baby boy some time early this month. Her marriage with this guy ( my brother inlaw) has been one I considered relatively peaceful. That is from my own perspective knowing that there's no marriage without one or two misunderstanding here or there at some point.

Well, she found out that her husband got another girl pregnant who gave birth to a baby girl. My sister found out after she gave birth to her first son. Her husband was the one that confessed to her that he has another child outside their marriage. They settled the issue and moved on he promised he would end the relationship he had with the baby mama.

Last year, during the Covid19 period, my sister found out that he was still seeing his baby mama after she saw their chats. She confronted him and he denied having anything to do with the baby mama except for sending money for his daughter's upkeep once in a while. It was a big issue which was brought to the attention the two families. They found a way to settle after a lot pleading and talking to the two of them.

To cut the long story short, she sent me screenshots that proves that he is still seeing the baby mama. In one of the screenshot he wants to see her in their normal place and the girl agreed but doesn't want them have sex on this particular occasion. My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around . She is yet to confront her husband because I managed to convince her to keep it on hold till she calms down.

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

crackhaus:
If you so wish, you could go on typing and gesticulating from now till tomorrow because you need to appear neutral and without bias.
However, it still won't change one fact and a universal truth that when it comes to cheating, a husband having a love-child versus a wife having a love-child are two very different things that can't be adjudged in the same way.

What an unbiased submission

I asked the other gentleman some questions which I feel you would have done well to answer since you felt the need to jump in on the comment, instead you went off on a tangent going on about the upcoming generation, progeny, the society, bla bla bla... Like who gives a fvck mayn? LoL

You're even insinuating that my comment is corrupting the younger generation yada yada yada...
Do you think typing comments on NL is going to stop anyone from cheating or having biases that are backed up by the reality of this world?

Infidelity in marriages that's been happening since the dawn of time and perpetuated by both men and women equally, is something that won't stop... neither will appealing to the emotions of people urging them to be less hypocritical suddenly erase the fact that a husband can get another woman pregnant, inform his wife and still continue with the marriage if the wife so pleases because he does NOT need to impose the child on her or have her take care of it.

However, if it was the wife with a pregnancy from another man and she informs her husband, how then REALISTICALLY do you expect the marriage to continue?

— Should her husband accept another man's child, raise it, spend his money on it, and roleplay daddy?
— Or should she handover the child to her side-bobo instead and continue with her marriage without the interference of the child?

You can stew on the answers to the above questions.

If you understood my thought process well enough, you would know that I have never been one to sugarcoat anything to please the gender that loves to hear lies disguised as sweet nothings just because it makes them feel good – same reason they are easily the most deceived by people who know how to game even when they assume they're in control of a situation.

So yea, of course women are cheaters and men are cheaters as well – I have never denied it or tried to change the world's perception, I don't even care to.
And yes, you should definitely fear women just as men should be feared too — There's no innocent gender as far as I'm concerned.
And then, perhaps men are really scum afterall but are women angels in comparison? Fvck NO!

My stance has always remained the same when it comes to marriage and infidelity, husbands and wives should cheat if they want to cheat... Just try not to get caught or bring the child of your infidelity to the house.

And furthermore, between a husband and a wife, who is more capable of having a child outside the marriage without letting it interfere with the union? A husband can 100%.
No woman is going to successfully do that as long as her husband is aware of her infidelity, NONE.

It's fine if you see it as hypocrisy, you can also hate it or love it. None of your emotional response to the above stated fact is going to change anything about the reality of things.

Cheers...

2ndtimeuncle:
It rains everywhere, I don't want her to make a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.

MrSamsung:
. And finally we will come to Nairaland and say fear women, there are no good women, women are cheaters, forgetting that we men who are rulers of the society allow these things to happen, participate in doing them and justify it while the women FOLLOW and IMITATE. Afterall you as a husband can't have right to your rod while she also a freeborn with freewill can not have right to her VJ in a free world.

YOU CAN CHEAT ON YOUR GOOD WIFE AND HAVE BABY MAMAS AND AWAY-CHILDREN, BUT YOU CAN'T CHEAT ON THE MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN THAT WOULD LIVE AND BE BORN IN SUCH A RUIN AND CORRUPTED FAMILIES AND SOCIETIES.

The cycle continues and we cry and turn bad

2ndtimeuncle:
It rains everywhere, I don't want her to make a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.

yanabasee2:
I'm really convinced that she did not check on his background before accepting to marry him....



It's a terrible situation for a man to disrespect his wife and get another woman pregnant.. and still keeps her for sex....


Let her get herself a job or a business first... She should allow the husband to set her up before deciding to divorce.... So she'll have money to take care of those kids... And she should know that, if she leaves the man, the other baby mama will step in and take her place... So she will be at the losing end...

2ndtimeuncle:
I honestly don't know how the instance you gave relates to my story. I am pro family, my first instinct is how to preserve my family.

obiekunie01:
But why is your sister always checking her husbands phone??

you see the thing is, CHECKING YOUR PARTNERS PHONE IS LIKE PUTTING YOUR FINGER IN THE ANUS - IF YOU DON'T FIND SHIT, YOU WILL FIND MESS OR BOTH - AND YOU WILL NOT LIKE EITHER OF IT!

so for your peace of mind, AVOID CHECKING YOUR PARTNERS PHONES!

Your sister opened the door to breaking her home by checking her hubby's phone!

2ndtimeuncle:
It rains everywhere, I don't want her to make a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.

Powerfly:
You don't know the shit happening in this country bro! Never say anything is impossible...

kushme:
Op, advice your Sis to stop following the herd mentality and control or bury that stupid anger issue, the society is deceiving too many young women with man and woman equality.

I believe you saw how guys finished a poor widow and four kids yesterday..(the young widow no be feminist oh)
Many married do worse out there. Even, you know many want fvck other pvssy. that's dick for you. Now, as long as your sis no dey experience lack of love and other necessary things from the husband hand, then she could think of way out.

Tell her to stop being unnecessarily dramatic and reality on ground.

2ndtimeuncle:
Good morning fellow nairalanders, I hope your day is going well though mine didn't start so well. I am a nairalander but I have to open this account for this. I have an issue bothering me, I will try to keep my story as brief as possible.

I am a guy from a humble background. My parents had only two children, myself and my younger sister who is now married with two kids. She had her last baby boy some time early this month. Her marriage with this guy ( my brother inlaw) has been one I considered relatively peaceful. That is from my own perspective knowing that there's no marriage without one or two misunderstanding here or there at some point.

Well, she found out that her husband got another girl pregnant who gave birth to a baby girl. My sister found out after she gave birth to her first son. Her husband was the one that confessed to her that he has another child outside their marriage. They settled the issue and moved on he promised he would end the relationship he had with the baby mama.

Last year, during the Covid19 period, my sister found out that he was still seeing his baby mama after she saw their chats. She confronted him and he denied having anything to do with the baby mama except for sending money for his daughter's upkeep once in a while. It was a big issue which was brought to the attention the two families. They found a way to settle after a lot pleading and talking to the two of them.

To cut the long story short, she sent me screenshots that proves that he is still seeing the baby mama. In one of the screenshot he wants to see her in their normal place and the girl agreed but doesn't want them have sex on this particular occasion. My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around . She is yet to confront her husband because I managed to convince her to keep it on hold till she calms down.

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

Avviala:
Nigerian men are useless. All of them.
If they don't cheat, they are hypocrites, toxic or women beaters. Even the so called calm ones are egoistic bastards and manipulative d**ks. The op wants his sister to stay in a marriage where she is disrespected daily but would not want to be disrespected as well.
It's women I blame. If right from time, we never accept cheating, men would not think of imposing their disgusting acts on us. Or at least not openly.
Since your sister's husband is only useful because of money, she should bear the marriage till she has enough savings to cater for herself and the children.
And I hope this is a lesson to women that you should never enter a marriage empty handed. Men only usefulness is money. If you remove that power, its easy to see them for the sh*t they are.