Solofresh2:
I don't know how to go about it
Am clueless and shy at the same time

Please stop that suicide talk! Don't even think about it again, your burden is not the heaviest

Do you masturbate?!

The fact that you already know that you have this problem is an important step to finding solution. I used to have similar problem even as much confident as I thought I was because I used to perform music very well infront of a great crowd at events and churches.

Always say these things multiple times daily.
I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT TO.
I REFUSE TO BE INTIMIDATED BY MY MIND.
I'M BETTER EVERY SECOND.
THE FACT THAT I WAKE UP ANY/EVERY DAY MEANS THAT GOD HAVE SO MUCH CONFIDENCE IN ME, SO WHY WON'T I BE OVER CONFIDENT IN MYSELF?

I AM EITHER WISE OR FOOLISH BEFORE PEOPLE BUT I AM THE BEST OF MY KIND BEFORE ME AND GOD.

You can add more positive vibes and don't entertain any negative vibes or any vibe killer.

Go ahead and make mistakes, turn it to your advantage as an experience and keep it up. #PROGRESS

Online music lessons are good but if you know a professional physically learn from him or join a church/music group with PROFESSIONAL music players and singers. It must not be a five star church. Hear their sounds and vocals. Know whether you can learn anything MUSICALLY good from them before joining to avoid wasting your time.

Practice makes improvement.
No human being is perfect at any thing.
Consistency matters a lotmy dear.

Kobojunkie:
Jesus Christ never said that at all. He came for those who are tired of the world not those who are simply sick.

You clearly don't know the Great One. What will you say about the woman with the issue of blood? or the man who was blind from birth? or Jairus whose daughter was sick to death? or the Syrophoenician woman whose daughter was vexed? or the old woman who was bent over for 18 years? Or Peter's mother-in-law who had a fever? or Lazarus who He raised from the dead? or the man by the pool of bethsaida for 38 years? or the boy with an unclean spirit from birth? or the mad man of gadara? or the ten lepers? or the widow whose son died and was on her way to bury him?

The bible says "How God anointed Jesus Christ of Nazareth, with the Holy Ghost and with power, Who went about doing good, and healing all who were oppressed of the devil, for God was with Him". And in another place, "At even time, they brought unto Him all that were sick, and possessed with devils, and He healed their sicknesses, and cast out the spirits by His word, that it may be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet Esaias, that He Himself took up our infirmities".

Please don't derail the faith of others in ignorance. Shalom

Op. I would have said u're just like me but mine is borne out of anxiety nd introvertedness. Alcohol helps like i said earlier bt nt weed. Weed aggravates d anxiety, truss me.

Although i knw how to control it nw.

Hit the gym bro! ur life will never remain the same

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Typical of a pussy ass niggar....
This is what happened when father raised weak men and mother reinforced it

This is why I detest boarding school ....bros op story sounds just a like a kid who spent his entire gadmnnn life in boarding school

No exposure to the real society...no street ruggedity, no toughness....

Ogbeni start hanging around with friends..come out of your house....visit play house, bar, football viewing centres...get high with beer....play Saturday football with hood niggars ....involve yourself when niggarz are arguing...
I don't know if Ogbeni op is in Benin city...make I instil some street and self confidence into am...as I dey type so....I still dey outside with my niggarz...probably before we go enter house today he go be around 1am

bad guy I dey Benin where you dey ?

Tadeknkeepcalm:

Introversion as a sign of mental illness?
Never heard that before
And yes, introversion and low self esteem are very much linked.
https://www.pickthebrain.com/is-being-introverted-affecting-your-confidence/#:~:text=What's%20more%E2%80%94because%20lack%20of,worth%20leads%20to%20higher%20introversion.

Again, no psychiatrist will tell you that introversion is a mental illness...because it is not. One who is mentally ill may become more introverted as a result of mental illness but it is not itself a symptom or a sign of mental illness.

https://www.quora.com/Is-introversion-a-mental-disorder

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

I believe you're a Christian, so I think seminars and messages will help you.
Download fear by apt Joshua selman ,
Don't be small in your own eye by Sam adeyemi, positive self esteem by Sam adeyemi, I'm more than this also by Sam adeyemi.

nosagold:


You clearly don't know the Great One. What will you say about the woman with the issue of blood? or the man who was blind from birth? or Jairus whose daughter was sick to death? or the Syrophoenician woman whose daughter was vexed? or the old woman who was bent over for 18 years? Or Peter's mother-in-law who had a fever? or Lazarus who He raised from the dead? or the man by the pool of bethsaida for 38 years? or the boy with an unclean spirit from birth? or the mad man of gadara? or the ten lepers? or the widow whose son died and was on her way to bury him?

The bible says "How God anointed Jesus Christ of Nazareth, with the Holy Ghost and with power, who went about doing good, and healing all who were oppressed of the devil, for God was with Him". And in another place, "At even time, they brought unto Him all that were sick, and possessed with devils, and He healed their sicknesses, and cast out the spirits by His word, that it may be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet Esaias, that He Himself took up our infirmities".

Please don't derail the faith of others in ignorance. Shalom

None of this has anything to do with all you claimed in your previous comment or most certainly not this topic.

Again Jesus Christ never said all you claimed in your previous post. He came for those who are tired of the world not those who are simply sick

op ur brain as well as mine needs REPROGRAMMING

U jux 21,u will outgrow it wit time. These re no issues u shuld get urself worked up about.

Kobojunkie:
None of this has anything to do with all you claimed in your previous comment or most certainly not this topic.

Again Jesus Christ never said all you claimed in your previous post. He came for those who are tired of the world not those who are simply sick

May the Lord give you understanding. Goodnight

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

People don't think about you as much as you think they do. Everyone is preoccupied with themselves.
Many people realise this around age 40. Then they wish they'd known earlier, and had given themselves permission to fully express themsleves.

You are afraid. Afraid or saying the wrong things, or coming off as stupid, of getting laughed at, of making mistakes. Get over yourself. I promise you, none of your colleagues spends 30 minutes a day thinking about the funny tie you wore last week, or that you know little of Singapore's econony, or the fact that you don't know the title of Eminem's latest album. I mean this in a nice way, but you're not that important to them. You are important to YOU. So, value YOU. And even in the unlikely event that you're the hottest topic for office gossip, then Bleep them all!

Learn stuff, do stuff. If you find something interesting, do it. If you find someone interesting, talk to them. Guess what, people generally value people who value themselves. If you value yourself, it shows. It just shows. People can sense it. And it is damn attractive. People have advised you to learn an instrument or do this and that. Good, but don't do it because you want to be liked. If you think playing a guitar is fun, learn it. If you enjoy drinking alcohol, drink it. (pls be mindful of your health) If you enjoy running and you live in Lagos, train for the annual Access Bank marathon.

Say what you think. Do what you feel like doing. Make a fool of yourself, yes. You will make mistakes, but trust me, it's not as bad as your brain makes you think it is. You see all those 'confident' people? They all second-guess themselves. Yes, including the late Steve Jobs and Obama. But they learnt over time that no matter what happens they 'got it'. And you got it too if you give yourself permission to be human. To be human is to be imperfect. Instagram is feeding you lies.

Maybe your parents didn't instil confidence in you, and now you have a slower start than some of your peers. Some of us have to fight inner battles to get there, but we can catch up. You'll hopefully do better than your parents, but you too will not be a perfect parent. A time comes when you realise that you are the captain of your ship, not your parents, not your boss, not your pastor. Then you have become a true adult.

Lastly, remeber that you're dying. If you live to be 80, then you'd have lived for about 4,000 weeks. You should not waste one week stressing about what Kunle in Accounting thinks of you. You're 21. Don't leave things undone and words unsaid because of how others would perceive it. 20 years from now, that embarrassing situation you're avoiding now would be very inconsequential. Biko, go on an embarrass yourself. Allow yourself to be imperfect.

Lattop:
Try dey smoke but no near Colorado

E no dey work bro.

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

Have you heard of this book?
" Questions Young People Ask Answers That Work"
Pls, check it online.
It's published by JWs, I mean Jehovah's Witnesses.
Read , study and apply the tips, suggestions you're given.

You will feel happy that your confidence will gradually increase.

You can begin the process by speaking positive affirmations to yourself each morning, afternoon and evening, while you stand before a mirror.

You are every positive thing you tell yourself you are.
Just work on that step by step.

Shalom.

nosagold:
May the Lord give you understanding. Goodnight

You don't have to say it because He automatically does that according to His promise in Matthew 13 vs 10 - 13.
I suggest you learn to obey Him so you too can get understanding from Him to rid you of all the falsehoods you posted in His name.

Silentgroper:
Op. I would have said u're just like me but mine is borne out of anxiety nd introvertedness. Alcohol helps like i said earlier bt nt weed. Weed aggravates d anxiety, truss me.

Although i knw how to control it nw.

Anxiety is a mental illness and should not be handled with alcohol. Best to seek help to find find root cause, if possible, and nip it in the bud.

Alcohol is not meant to be used as medication in any way or form.

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

After reading this I had to scroll up to check your moniker maybe it's mine or maybe there's a time I posted this then I forgot cuz this your story is what I'm actually experiencing too, mine is even worse. I'm shy, lack experience cuz I'm always indoor (my father do stop me and my brothers going out) I am just learning a skill, no school too, I do blame my father for always keeping me indoor too but I'm not blaming him for not sponsoring me to further my education, I'm not outspoken, I'm an introvert, I've had many bad days that made me want to commit suicide too but then I think about it if death is really an option, I'd always see those that commit suicide as cowards that they're scared to face life. Don't give up bro. Keep pushing, everything will be better soon, trust me I've many flaws but i won't give up, you shouldn't too

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

Op, I understand what you're currently passing through. I have also been there like many people have said earlier. One sad thing about this your situation is that if you don't conquer it, you will inadvertently transfer it to the next generation. Which is obviously a disservice to innocent unborn children.

My simple advice is:


Hang out more. There's no consolation in isolation.

Meet people. Be the first to introduce yourself.

Confide in someone you can trust. Male friend or female friend.

Initiative conversation even when you're afraid to do so. Your ability to conquer one step will take a step higher than your current status.

Above all, go out tomorrow and buy this book: THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING by Norman Vincent Pearl. Apply yourself to the scriptural instructions as they are written there. Get an accountability partner (I can be yours if you don't mind)

Do all these, and you will never remain the same.

Self development and self improvement are also things you may need to consider invest. You can always get better.

Who are these ignorant people telling this guy to read books? You guys sincerely lack the commonsense to solve his problem.
Let me tell you something. Too much reading actually drives you away from the real world. I am speaking from firsthand experience here. So don't say shit!

Op needs to go out and socialize. Simple! Stroll around your area and locate where guys gather to play football especially weekends. Take yourself out for some swimming enjoyment.

Become active in a youth group in church. In fact this is one place where your shyness will be cured! I am not talking about attending church services only. I am talking about youth groups involving music since you like music. There you will meet people who will pull you out of your shell.

Sincerely you need a sanguine sister. She will do a good job breaking your shackles of shyness.

tobeye:
this idea of parents always hoarding their children at growing age all the time sometimes brings ripple effects, like this one

this is 50% true.

Op but i don't think that you have girl friend and by continue this way it will difficult for you to get marry or to get marry to your choice of woman

Kobojunkie:
Anxiety is a mental illness and should not be handled with alcohol. Best to seek help to find find root cause, if possible, and nip it in the bud.

Alcohol is not meant to be used as medication in any way or form.

It is nt on d extreme. I got it under control.

Op....are you a lagosian?

orlaglobal234:
Op but i don't think that you have girl friend and by continue this way it will difficult for you to get marry or to get marry to your choice of woman

Am I to believe you actually read everything he typed up there yet you prescribed a girlfriend or marriage?

Did you really process any of what he in fact typed up there?

I was there before but wen I go enter street igboro jami pelu iwa palala like alcohol � but he helped me and also in the other way but I can not let go bullshit now I go put you for your place even as I no get money I know my right

Kobojunkie:
Again, no psychiatrist will tell you that introversion is a mental illness...because it is not. One who is mentally ill may become more introverted as a result of mental illness but it is not itself a symptom or a sign of mental illness.

https://www.quora.com/Is-introversion-a-mental-disorder

Oh ok. I thought you said it is.
But anyways, I never said anything about mental illness did I?
What I said is that introversion and low self-esteem are linked. C'est fini


Please try and read and understand before complicating things further for yourself.

mastermaestro:
Who are these ignorant people telling this guy to read books? You guys sincerely lack the commonsense to solve his problem.
Let me tell you something. Too much reading actually drives you away from the real world. I am speaking from firsthand experience here. So don't say shit!

Op needs to go out and socialize. Simple! Stroll around your area and locate where guys gather to play football especially weekends. Take yourself out for some swimming enjoyment.

Become active in a youth group in church. In fact this is one place where your shyness will be cured! I am not talking about attending church services only. I am talking about youth groups involving music since you like music. There you will meet people who will pull you out of your shell.

Sincerely you need a sanguine sister. She will do a good job breaking your shackles of shyness.

You are not the OP.
Reading is a way of learning.
If you never learnt anything by reading, you won't be here typing with your phone or laptop.
There are several points expressed by different individuals whose message had been passed across for the OP's benefit.
I come in peace.

Tadeknkeepcalm:

But you were the one who previously said it's a symptom not me.

I never said it was a symptom...

Introversion is a personality orientation.

Also, mental illness can also cause people to become extroverted.... as seen in persons who suffer from manic depression or what used to to bipolar disorder.

Kobojunkie:
I never said it was a symptom...

Yah, I made a mistake. Check back with the mention again. I just modified it.

Tadeknkeepcalm:

Yah, I made a mistake. Check back with the mention again. I just modified it.

Introversion is instead a personality orientation, not a symptom of mental disorder.

Also, mental illness can also lead people to become more extroverted.... as seen in persons who suffer from manic depression or what used to to bipolar disorder. That in no way means extroversion is a symptom of mental illness.

Kobojunkie:
Introversion is instead a personality orientation, not a symptom of mental disorder.

Also, mental illness can also cause people to become extroverted.... as seen in persons who suffer from manic depression or what used to to bipolar disorder

Why are you talking about mental disorder?
Did I mention mental illness or disorder to you?