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A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers - Romance (7) - Nairaland

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Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:33am On Sep 10, 2021
Mgtow8:
How will you see the problem when you are a great simp

... and this your above contribution is the smartest thing you could come up with?! so you sat down, thought very carefully about what to write on this thread....and saying that a man who is not afraid to date/fukc or be with a single mother is automatically a great simp is the best you could come up with?! lol

you see, people like you are the reason why this redpill movement is now bastardized by men who dont even know what the movement is about. they just make unintelligent statement against women and/or against anyone, who they dont understand, that aint afraid of women. you fear women so much that anything that may benefit a woman you will automatically look down upon without even using what you have between you ears. what a sorry state of mind.

legallyminded:
You're a female moniker disguising to be a male

if the above makes you feel better about yourself, then so be it. maybe next time when i stand for animal rights, you will now say that i am a zebra or a cat, abi?!?!?

if you have nothing intelligent to say on the subject at hand, just stay on the sideline and keep following this discussion in the background quietly.

drealaz24:
Guy, can you just stop already. Either you're not staying in Nigeria or just a single young chap with no experience. Just marry a single mother and come back after 15yrs to these post.

The most successful single moms are those who left the baby with a family member and move on with their life (yes with d new husband in d know)

if thats "your" definition of a successful single mother then no wonder you dont understand this discussion... IMHO a successful single mother is one that was able to raise her child on her own and provide that child with all the necessary care/love affection coupled with the child emotional/financial and physical needs for 18yrs straight. i guess we have a different definition on the matter.

AfroKnight:
It’s like you have chosen not to understand. I say I do not frown upon, dislike, and I am not against single mothers. That is not what the thread is about. It is about demonising my choice and her keeping the boy away from our discussion until she felt I was committed and I had feelings for her.

And as for your first paragraph, I wonder why you’re working overtime to rationalise living with a stepchild. I just said I don’t want the peculiarities of that situation. Is it not a valid choice anymore? Some people want it, but I don’t. Plus, I don’t think I should be the bad guy like my friend and other women on this thread have insinuated.

you have to be reasonable in this discussion, and its obvious you aint. the question i asked was very simple:: if you as a man dont show your flaws/fears/weaknesses to women when you 1st meet them, why would you expect these single mothers to be any different on the matter?!

2 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by babyfaceafrica: 6:35am On Sep 10, 2021
drealaz24:


I don't think she's shameless. That's just reality for u.

She probably thought going back to the father of her child to continue her life is far better than going into another relationship whc might become complicated because of her child.

More especially when she thought the baby daddy has changed for good because he probably came back to beg with a batallion from his family.
hmmm
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by mammaafura: 6:36am On Sep 10, 2021
Where can I see one abeg
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by legallyminded: 6:39am On Sep 10, 2021
MrBrownJay1:


... and this your above contribution is the smartest thing you could come up with?! so you sat down, thought very carefully about what to write on this thread....and saying that a man who is not afraid to date/fukc or be with a single mother is automatically a great simp?! lol

you see, people like you are the reason why this redpill movement is now bastardized by men who dont even know what the movement is about. they just make unintelligent statement against women and/or against anyone who they dont understand that aint afraid of women. you fear women so much that anything that may benefit a women you will look down upon without even using what you have between you ears. what a sorry state of mind.



if the above makes you feel better about yourself, then so be it. maybe next time when i stand for animal right, tyou will now say that i am a zebra or a cat, abi?!?!?

if you have nothing intelligent to say on the subject at hand, just stay on the sideline and keep following this discussion in the background quietly.



if thats "your" definition of a successful single mother then no wonder you dont understand this discussion... IMHO a successful single mother is one that was able to raise her child on her own and provide that child with all the necessary care/love affection coupled with the child emotional/financial and physical needs. i guess we have a different definition on the matter.



you have to be reasonable in this discussion, and its obvious you aint. the question i asked was very simple:: if you as a man dont show your flaws/fears/weaknesses to women when you 1st meet them, why would you expect these single mothers to be any different on the matter?!

You can't even communicate properly yet you call others unintelligent. Pot calling kettle black. Yes! You're a female disguised as a male. Keep advocating for your fellow mongrels who want to reap where they did not sow.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by adanny01(m): 6:41am On Sep 10, 2021
AfroKnight:


I don’t see why the way I think should make any woman hide the fact that she’s a single mother.

She should be upfront with it once a man asks her out. Not after he has begun to develop affection for her and then she springs it on him. No. That’s manipulative.

If he knew from the beginning then he could make up his mind whether or not to continue.

When you attend a job interview and you face a question such as, what are your flaws? Will you answer, I smoke weed if you really did?

You just reek of selfishness and self righteousness, you cant be that perfect. You also need to do full disclosure before you collect a girls contact, lets see where that gets you because you certainly must have your own flaws.

1 Like

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Legalbeing(m): 6:44am On Sep 10, 2021
Trust me most single mother are the selfish kind of people to date... In the quest of not failing victim again they always keep part of the whole..
For the sake of the child they felt not good enough and that will deny them the emotional joy to be real with you..

They always sees you as a problem solver and think they are using you..

Falling in Love with single mother is beautiful if the woman is truly willing to move beyond past..

All they need is to clear those thought and prove beyond all odds that you see the best and not the past..

2 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by 989900: 6:49am On Sep 10, 2021
1. We have to agree that the OP is 75% correct.

2. The OP and most o' y'all supporting him are too subjective -- too far from being objective.

3. 75%, if not 90% of y'all who are still single/married and probably 10 years younger than Tiwa Savage, Linda Ikeji, Mackenzie Scott (Bezos), Melinda Gates, etc. would marry any of these ladies in a heartbeat . . . y'all get the drift?

4. Wahala for girl wey believe say na kpekus fit do am -- girls, double your hustle -- these generation of men don't want any rubbish responsibility.

5. We (humans) are hypocritical by default!

6. The world is grey (not white; not black).

3 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by AfroKnight: 6:54am On Sep 10, 2021
adanny01:


When you attend a job interview and you face a question such as, what are your flaws? Will you answer, I smoke weed if you really did?

You just reek of selfishness and self righteousness, you cant be that perfect. You also need to do full disclosure before you collect a girls contact, lets see where that gets you because you certainly must have your own flaws.

You call me selfish? Lol.

Why are you calling her child a flaw? I don’t think her son is a flaw. He is actually a child who needs parental care like other children, but I am not interested in caring for a stepchild.

Would you keep the same energy if you met a single father who hid the fact that he had a son, until you started falling for him and calling him everyday? Would you be selfish too if you decided you don’t want to deal with him meeting his baby mama or the peculiarities of raising a stepchild?

7 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Terrier99: 6:56am On Sep 10, 2021
AutoChick4U:
Why u go wan Beat her kid? Is it that you dragging to come first before her kids? Can't you share in d affection? Must it be a competition?

1. Why u go wan Beat her kid?
2. Is it that you dragging to come first before her kids?
3. Can't you share in d affection?
4. Must it be a competition?

I swear, this is exactly how single mothers think. So, if the kid is naughty, I can't correct the kid? Because I corrected a naughty kid, it means that I'm dragging for attention with the kid?

You are talking exactly like a single mom.

11 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by J2381: 6:58am On Sep 10, 2021
UcheforGod:
So you are saying that pre-marital sex is good?
I'm saying it is good as long as it's not underage and both parties gave their consent.
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Austineva(m): 7:00am On Sep 10, 2021
lilvicky68:

Okafor's law of congodynamics states that once a woman has been 4ked.. the 4ker has every tendency to 4k the 4kee at any given time..

As for baby mama stuff.. the father of the child can still 4k the mother even during visitations..
grin grin grin. Thank u, bro

1 Like

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by gnykelly(m): 7:02am On Sep 10, 2021
AutoChick4U:
Now this is where communication is very important. A single mom who still sees, talks to d baby daddy is a suspect. Besides the lady in this your story is a very dumb fvck.

Many single moms are not in contact with their baby fathers and managing alone just like me. Theres minus zero possibility of such happening in my case anyways


You only have to speak for yourself...you claimed your baby daddy died that's why you're in this situation.

Your case is entirely different if your story is genuine. You deserve better.

2 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by lilvicky68(m): 7:02am On Sep 10, 2021
Austineva:
grin grin grin. Thank u, bro
Your welcome

1 Like

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by greypencils: 7:03am On Sep 10, 2021
Been there, I didn't even object to dating a single mother. But she ran on hearing the kind of family I come from. She wanted marriage and she knew that would never happen.

1 Like

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by AfroKnight: 7:04am On Sep 10, 2021
MrBrownJay1:


You have to be reasonable in this discussion, and its obvious you aint. the question i asked was very simple:: if you as a man dont show your flaws/fears/weaknesses to women when you 1st meet them, why would you expect these single mothers to be any different on the matter?!

Has it degenerated to name calling now? So I am not reasonable for choosing not to raise a stepchild or for expecting honesty early in a relationship? Come on.

Hiding the fact that she’s a single mom is not her putting her best foot forward. How did it skip her mind in the first few phone calls? It’s simply hiding important information from a potential partner. The child is not some “flaw” or weakness. He is a very important and very present factor in the relationship. He shouldn’t be introduced as an afterthought. If this opinion is unreasonable to you then I don’t know what to say.

8 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by WIDETHOUGHT: 7:05am On Sep 10, 2021
I must not disagree with every point made by a woman in matter like this.
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by AfroKnight: 7:06am On Sep 10, 2021
adanny01:


Let me tell you where you are wrong especially the highlighted.

Does this lady have the right to find love again, if I may ask you? She certainly does. You dont expect her to tell every man she meets on the street that she has a son. Do you expect her to wear a T shirt saying I have a son so that people like you can just stay clear of her.

You have your rights, your rights starts where others end.

If you wish fairness, you also need to think of the father of the child whether women do to him what you did to her.

I am not saying you were wrong to bail from the relationship that never started, I am saying when you bailed like that, you make it look like she did you wrong but actually she never did. She is also looking for the same thing you are looking for and she never lied to you. In fact, your relationship was not there yet.

Please, next time before you ask a girl for her contact, endeavor to ask her if she has a child so this would not repeat. Dont blame if you dont ask.

This is simple dishonesty.
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Skyboy0316(m): 7:15am On Sep 10, 2021
Pls help a brother,
How can I clear this off my head

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by miketayo(m): 7:15am On Sep 10, 2021
Romanoff:


Even condom dey break. Well wait sef. So if that happens, what next?

Abortion, keep the baby?


I still don't get the concept of condom breaking, if it breaks remove ur thing and put on another condom. A guy would know when it breaks.
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Kccheechy(m): 7:16am On Sep 10, 2021
MrBrownJay1:


morning after pill...
your foolishness na follow come...have you not heard of cases where even the pill didn’t stop the development of the baby?? Stay away from premarital sex!!!!! Our problem is that, we know what is wrong but still choose to do it. When problems later come up we refuse to take responsibility and instead look for a cheap way out.
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by KLand(m): 7:16am On Sep 10, 2021
Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

Good thinking
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by olasunky15(m): 7:17am On Sep 10, 2021
Davash222:

Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.

I said this to a friend just yesterday.
Everything up there 100%.

Wait…. Prince is that you.

Guys…. Think twice before you do it. Before you start something serious with a single mum.

My Advice: dont do it.

Dont say I didn’t tell you

3 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by mikovo2002(m): 7:23am On Sep 10, 2021
Davash222:

Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.
I am presently dating a single mother, five three years now, her son is always first, I am just like second hand in the home. She always put her son first. She even bought a land in the name of her son bearing the child surname and they feed from me while she keep her welth for her son

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Easy5265: 7:25am On Sep 10, 2021
Davash222:

Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.
The bolded is everything wrong with dating single mothers. It almost seem like a competition between yourself and the child. Trust me you don't want to be there. Then is the fact that your attempts at scolding or correcting the child will seem to come from a place of hate. Single mothers are a capital No.

5 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by mikovo2002(m): 7:33am On Sep 10, 2021
I am presently dating a single mother, she had never review the father of her son. All she always tell me is that she didn't know the wereabout of her child father. She put her son first. I am just like second fiddle in the house
She even bought a land in the name of her son bearing the child surname. She save her money for towards the upkeep of her child while my money is for us

4 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Mypeople2(m): 7:34am On Sep 10, 2021
Austineva:
pls, state d Okafor's Law. I really want to know it. Thanks
It states that if you have had sex with someone before you can still have sex over over again with that person even if the person is married

1 Like

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by mikovo2002(m): 7:38am On Sep 10, 2021
I am presently dating a single mother, she had never review the father of her son. All she always tell me is that she didn't know the wereabout of her child father. She put her son first. I am just like second fiddle in the house
She even bought a land in the name of her son bearing the child surname. She save her money for towards the upkeep of her child while my money is for us.
She always take offense when ever I deciplaine the young child of 11 years old

1 Like 1 Share

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by adanny01(m): 7:46am On Sep 10, 2021
AfroKnight:


You call me selfish? Lol.

Why are you calling her child a flaw? I don’t think her son is a flaw. He is actually a child who needs care but I am not interested in caring for a stepchild.

Would you keep the same energy if you met a single father who hid the fact that he had a son, until you started falling for him and calling him everyday? Would you be selfish too if you decide you don’t want to deal with him meeting his baby mama?

I am not calling her child a flaw, her flaw is the circumstances that left her with a child out of wedlock.

Her flaw is the vulnerability exhibited by the fact that somehow she got pregnant by an irresponsible man and got left alone to bear the consequences. She did things that can be said to be a mistake and it is a flaw in her judgement, it is not the existence of the child that is the flaw. What led to having the child is the flaw.

When you are looking for a wife material, an uneducated woman has a flaw, a woman with a child has a flaw, a woman that cannot cook has a flaw, a woman who has no dress sense has a flaw. A woman who is enterprising has a strength, a woman who has a skill has a strength, a woman who has a Phd has a strenght. Do you understand?

Secondly, how did she hide it from you? Did you ask and she denied?

You post is subjective but not objective.

The subject is you don't want to date or marry a single mother, i agree. Its your choice, i have no part in that. That subject ends there.

The objective however still lingers on, starting a relationship is finding love that ultimately leads to marriage. This woman has the same objective as you. She is open to a relationship and even marriage. She has her strengths and flaws likewise you. The objective of every relationship is that the strengths and flaws of each partner is tolerated by the other. You can't tolerate her flaw, so be it. Go out and find the one you can tolerate and leave this one to the right partner who can tolerate her flaws. You also have your own flaws, as little as they may be, the person you meet next might make a mountain of the little flaw you have.

I am married and will not have married my wife if she had a child out of wedlock.

My issue with you is that you believe she did wrong by not telling you upfront and I say she didnt need to tell you and have not done you any wrong. Secondly, that you expect her to tell you upfront is unrealistic and selfish of you.

A friend of mine recently met a girl. On their first date, she told him her struggles, she told him she lost 3 jobs in 1 yr and has a child to cater for. He was open to a relationship with a girl who has a child but the issue he had with what she told him was purely financial aspect of it. By her words, she seemed to be looking for a man to foot her bills because she was talking about renting a shop to open a salon etc. This girl basically dropped all her problems at his feet, who will stay? If she goes on like that, who will date her?

The mystery of life is not unravelled in one day.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by Easy5265: 7:47am On Sep 10, 2021
I experienced all of this. To make matters worse she didn't have a job. I was a fool sha.

madridsta007:


1. Her child comes first before you, whether dating or married to her.
2. There will always be a third party in the marriage or relationship.
3. She can exit your life any given time. She has built herself to be independent and she can revert to that whenever she suspects you.
4. And yes, she will always suspect you.

This happens in most of the cases. They dont normally heal after the pregnancy incident (pregnancy, coping with family, the child, etc) and the next guy will bear the brunt of that hate for men.
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by SoftChordz: 7:47am On Sep 10, 2021
Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.
Pls you all should close legs abeg.... Make we see if the world go spoil. How can a guy marry a single mother, if I hear. Who de gree chop leftover when u go to fast food. If a girl can't properly take care of herself or with d guy she bleeps with then d outcome is theirs but mostly hers if he doesn't care.

No guy will leave his son or won't take care of a woman he lives that gives him a child. It's all mistake take in or when these girls tries to trap a guy with pregnancy 90% of the time because I have not seen a barrow pusher become a babydaddy, is that magic?? Never seen a guy without prospect or good future preg any girl. Who de deceive who?

Ladies this is 2021 trying to hook a guy with pregnancy NO DE WORK AGAIN OO, that format don cast. It's better u chill if him wan marry u him go cordi if not better wait for the guy God go send u.

5 Likes

Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by luminouz(m): 7:49am On Sep 10, 2021
mikovo2002:
I am presently dating a single mother, she had never review the father of her son. All she always tell me is that she didn't know the wereabout of her child father. She put her son first. I am just like second fiddle in the house
She even bought a land in the name of her son bearing the child surname. She save her money for towards the upkeep of her child while my money is for us.
She always take offense when ever I deciplaine the young child of 11 years old
So what do you plan on doing about all this your epistle?

Or what have you done to remedy the situation?
Re: A Case For Men Who Don’t Want To Date Single Mothers by mrmachine: 7:52am On Sep 10, 2021
Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

Best advice so far this morning

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