Marry who makes you happy. Lots of you had single mum’s as grand mothers and mum’s. Those ones in pOlygamous marriages or with irresponsible husbands were also as good as single mum’s. Lots had to get men who could help carry their baggage, which was you. Seems like OP is not convinced about his own decision.

NaijirianKing:
Men of this generation are too wise and can't fall for such sob stories.

There's a reason why 74.8% of singe mothers in America die without ever being walked down the aisle.

Women can get together and tell themselves anything they want, but men control commitment and who gets married, it is what the men say that matters. And men have already spoken on the matter.

74 percent? Hope you know many of them use babymamaism to cash out so they not really concerned about walking down any isle

All single mothers, accept my SIMPathy De empathy.

However, none of you should bounce on guys if they refuse to marry you.

Y'all brought this upon yourselves.

While it is understandable that many of you are very good, the fact that you can make life a living hell for any man who takes you and your baby, which I know y'all agree cos it is what it is, y'all gotta live with it, life goes on.

Do not blame men for refusing you, live your life on your own and be happy.

Terrier99:
You think the single woman you're dating is yours until you beat her child. That is when you will learn that she comes first, her child(ren) come next, you come last. You're merely a simp and provider for her kids, nothing more.

Messed up mentality though.

MrBrownJay1:
the hypocrisy on this subject is that the majority who look down on these women will gladly date/marry Genevieve/Linda or the ex wives of Uncle Jeff (Bezos) and/or baba Bill (Gates)

Marry one and come back to tell us how far. All these your theories will not fly. If you don't, you're the greatest of all hypocrites.

AutoChick4U:
Messed up mentality though.

Single mums don't tolerate it when their husbands beat their children. That is when they will tell you not to beat "my" child.

AfroKnight:
Do not take it out of context please. I was talking about offending her sensibilities because of the child in question and certainly not in the general sense. She expects inclusion from you on everything except when it’s time to correct children, then she places you under scrutiny. That’s an unnecessary awkwardness I certainly do not want. It is different from just any relationship. It doesn’t make her a bad person, but it is what it is. And I’d rather avoid such situations if I can help it.

as this isnt a normal r/ship, you must adapt to its circumstanmces. if you treat her child right, no woman will say anything about it... just like if you treat a woman right, none would say anything about it either... but the minute you dod anything that they may see as against their values, let this woman let you know (and there is nothing wrong with that).

now put yourself in this woman's position...lets say you were a single/widowed father raising a child on your own, then you meet a new woman that raises your child differently than how you would want that child to be raised, what would you therefore do?! would that be so wrong for you to let her know that you are against how she raises your child?

Don’t misunderstand me. I do not frown upon them. I just don’t prefer them. I don’t treat them any less than other humans. But my decision not to date them is seen as offensive by women. Why? It should not be so. Plus I particularly dislike the fact that some of them withhold the information that they are single mothers until they feel you are committed to the relationship. They should tell me upfront so I can move on to the next person instead of wasting time.

frown upon, dislike, are against etc...different words, same meaning.

bro, come on, you are making it seem that when you just meet a woman, you automatically tell her about your flaws/weaknesses/fears etc, lol! we ALL do what these single women are doing, aka put our best forward and hide the rest the best we can!

its called LIFE!

Terrier99:
Marry one and come back to tell us how far. All these your theories will not fly. If you don't, you're the greatest of all hypocrites.

we are here having a mature discussion and sharing of opinion... the above would be as silly as telling me to go catch HIV because we discuss HIV+ issues... or better yet, to go be gay or lesbian because i have an opinion on gay/lesbian people. thats not very intelligent nor productive, is it?!

now open your mind and instead assume that i am a single father...

Terrier99:


Single mums don't tolerate it when their husbands beat their children. That is when they will tell you not to beat "my" child.

Won't she birth for d husband? You simply concentrating on d negatives.

MrBrownJay1:


we are here having a mature discussion and sharing of opinion... the above would be as silly as telling me to go catch HIV because we discuss HIV+ issues... or better yet, to go be gay or lesbian because i have an opinion on gay/lesbian people. thats not very intelligent nor productive, is it?!

now open your mind and instead assume that i am a single father...

Jay no mind some of these people abeg. People should be with who give them peace of mind.

AfroKnight:
Parts of the story have been altered cos affected parties might be nairalanders.

A while ago, I met a beautiful woman. She carry front, she carry back. Both in desirable proportions. I got her number and we got talking. We soon advanced to long calls, flirting and risqué jokes. Then she posted a boy on her WhatsApp status one day and the caption rocked me to my foundation. I asked and she confirmed that the little boy was her son. Okay.

“Where is his father?”

“He is not responsible. He is not involved in his son’s life. I take care of him alone.”

“Well, no problem”, I thought to myself. I reminded myself that it is not my dream in life to deal with the complications of raising a son who is not biologically mine, especially one whose father is still very much alive. So, I slowed down. Reduced calls until we drifted apart.

I told a female friend of mine about this and the way she looked at me ehn, I was wondering what I did wrong. She was so disappointed in me for refusing to date a single mother.

Well, I gave that friend of mine a piece of my mind. She had no right to project her concept of right or wrong or even chivalry on me! I am nobody’s saviour. I cannot pick up the responsibilities of another man who is alive and well. It is not only unfair but incredibly unjust to put a man on the spot by letting him find out you have a child after you guys have started flirting and even advanced in the talking stage of a budding relationship. I don dey feel you to the point of starting a serious relationship and I discover this? It is wrong.

And it is even more offensive that you would expect a man to just take it in stride.

Guys do not be shy to refuse if you don’t want.

Some guys are cool with it and that’s fine. If I’m not cool with it, don’t demonise me. It’s my choice.

Share your thoughts please.

Well, you never truly liked her anyways. Did she ask you to take responsibility of her kid? That's why I like oyibos, very open minded

Davash222:

Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

How did you calculate and arrive at "99.7536%"?

MrBrownJay1:


premarital sex isnt an issue , taking care of your body while having premarital sex IS THE PROBLEM HERE.... you can easily have premarital sex (to each their own) without having a baby/std... so long as you protect yourself the right way.

is this how low our moral values have sunk that fornication is no longer an issue or frowned upon? This generation will destroy itself

Suspect33:
is this how low our moral values have sunk that fornication is no longer an issue or frowned upon? This generation will destroy itself

there has been premarital sex and fornication (as well as single mothers) since biblical days.... which generation exactly are you talking about?!

AfroKnight:


Do not take it out of context please. I was talking about offending her sensibilities because of the child in question and certainly not in the general sense. She expects inclusion from you on everything except when it’s time to correct children, then she places you under scrutiny. That’s an unnecessary awkwardness I certainly do not want. It is different from just any relationship. It doesn’t make her a bad person, but it is what it is. And I’d rather avoid such situations if I can help it.




Don’t misunderstand me. I do not frown upon them. I just don’t prefer them. I don’t treat them any less than other humans. But my decision not to date them is seen as offensive by women. Why? It should not be so. Plus I particularly dislike the fact that some of them withhold the information that they are single mothers until they feel you are committed to the relationship. They should tell me upfront so I can move on to the next person instead of wasting time.

Bro you are very on point....take it from someone talking from experience....it's emotionally draining and damn complicated to date them. The majority who have tried have the same story that's evidence enough by itself.

You scenario was exactly my experience, she hid the kids existence from me cuz we were in separate countries. I only got to find out months later after we got serious. When asked of the kids father you can guess the response she gave....same line you
Typed in the original post.....this women never disappoint like clockwork!

I said okay not bad, lemme try getting to know the kid and make it work. I live in the same country with her parents so her mom brought the kid over and I went visiting to get to know the parents and my prospective step child. Everything went well, I loved the kid even discussed a formal adoption for the child after the nuptials since the father in her words abandoned it.

Few months to the engagement and set date for return to naija to conclude the traditional rites, Babe went AWOL. Stopped picking my calls, her parents as well. There was no way I could reach her, plus I couldn't just travel to her location due to I
Being in a different continent and my job demand.

To Cut the long story short, I had a friend who stays I. The same country to help me check up on them, turns out baby daddy showed up, somehow they made up and had a short lived rekindled love affair. I was seriously vexed but what could a brother do. Madam just ghosted me. I had to let it go ultimately.

Now here comes the interesting part, the baby daddy knocked her up with twins and vanishes again. 3 months to her EDD and 4 to my wedding she calls me up out of the blue and starts pontificating. Sounds like a movie but I was living it in real time.

Single moms? Hell no to any young single man. If you don't love drama stay far away.

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

I take it you haven't heard about condoms and birth control pills.

Terrier99:
You think the single woman you're dating is yours until you beat her child. That is when you will learn that she comes first, her child(ren) come next, you come last. You're merely a simp and provider for her kids, nothing more.

Why u go wan Beat her kid? Is it that you dragging to come first before her kids? Can't you share in d affection? Must it be a competition?

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

So. What are u actually saying. Cos it seems I'm finding it rather difficult to grasp your caprison. U dey cap rather vertically.
So, make we no do the do abi? We should go celibate abi. Do u actually think everyone is of low libido like you. We are all wired differently. Sex might not be a big deal for you. But put into consideration billions of people out there whose libido is rather on the higher side. What would u have them do. Castrate themselves
The world is way bigger and vast, so much that what u deem as morally wrong here might actually be a norm somewhere. This is why the "holy book" said "Don't judge"...

For me, I won't take care of another man's kiddo. Let everyone be responsible enough for his or her kiddo.

I was trying to date one sometimes ago. Barely after 3 calls, she was asking me for her son's tuition to the University as if I was the father.

Anyway to call the crazy story short, I told her to go resolve her issues with her baby-daddy.

lawkenoz:


Bro you are very on point....take it from someone talking from experience....it's emotionally draining and damn complicated to date them. The majority who have tried have the same story that's evidence enough by itself.

You scenario was exactly my experience, she hid the kids existence from me cuz we were in separate countries. I only got to find out months later after we got serious. When asked of the kids father you can guess the response she gave....same line you
Typed in the original post.....this women never disappoint like clockwork!

I said okay not bad, lemme try getting to know the kid and make it work. I live in the same country with her parents so her mom brought the kid over and I went visiting to get to know the parents and my prospective step child. Everything went well, I loved the kid even discussed a formal adoption for the child after the nuptials since the father in her words abandoned it.

Few months to the engagement and set date for return to naija to conclude the traditional rites, Babe went AWOL. Stopped picking my calls, her parents as well. There was no way I could reach her, plus I couldn't just travel to her location due to I
Being in a different continent and my job demand.

To Cut the long story short, I had a friend who stays I. The same country to help me check up on them, turns out baby daddy showed up, somehow they made up and had a short lived rekindled love affair. I was seriously vexed but what could a brother do. Madam just ghosted me. I had to let it go ultimately.

Now here comes the interesting part, the baby daddy knocked her up with twins and vanishes again. 3 months to her EDD and 4 to my wedding she calls me up out of the blue and starts pontificating. Sounds like a movie but I was living it in real time.

Single moms? Hell no to any young single man. If you don't love drama stay far away.

Now this is where communication is very important. A single mom who still sees, talks to d baby daddy is a suspect. Besides the lady in this your story is a very dumb fvck.

Many single moms are not in contact with their baby fathers and managing alone just like me. Theres minus zero possibility of such happening in my case anyways

MrBrownJay1:


there has been premarital sex and fornication (as well as single mothers) since biblical days.... which generation exactly are you talking about?!

we've made it a norm which was never the case with the previous generations, sexual immorality is no longer frowned upon, people now engage in sexual acts without any iota of shame, this generation will destroy itself

It's rather irritating when a person who "can't see where the problem is" believes that means there is no problem or those who see the problem are in the wrong.

Such illogicality.

What manner of arrogance is that sef?

MrBrownJay1:


A) in Nigeria/Africa, it is a well known fact that men frown upon single women. IMHO, it is down to insecurities and misplaced ego but that is a whole different subject for anotherday.

B) why would you care where the loyalty of a mother lays? if you'd viewed that woman as a whole (aka her and her baby) then down the line your loyalty would also be linked to that child. the important question would be: is that the problem you may have OR the baby being a confirmation that some other dude had sex with your possible "woman" before you?

i really dont see where the problem is...

Suspect33:
we've made it a norm which was never the case with the previous generations, sexual immorality is no longer frowned upon, people now engage in sexual acts without any iota of shame, this generation will destroy itself

abeg, go back in history to understand that such act has always been a norm... read your holybook to see countless highly respected men of that said book indulging in what you call "immorality" with countless babymamas and mistresses. who are we kidding here?

people are only adapting to the world we live in today...

BRATISLAVA:
You clearly stated it's an altered story, so what if you're changing facts to manipulate the emotional readers? Why should anyone read or comment on it?

These stories from the stables of TRP/mgtow are all fantasy. Notice how easy it is for one of them to alter a supposedly true story, twist it to their ends, and have people debate on it. How many times does this happen without notice on a daily basis already?

A smart and well-deserved knell on this confabulated tori

VULCAN:
It's rather irritating when a person who "can't see where the problem is" believes that means there is no problem or those who see the problem are in the wrong.

stop assuming what you dont understand... just because i dont see where the problem is doesnt mean i dont understand why the OP feels the way he does... nor am i saying that the OP is wrong in thinking the way he does. i am just giving him MY OPINION, like any adults would while having an intelligent discussion.

Mary the Mother of Jesus was even Pregnant and Joseph sha Married her. Whether na man or holy spirit impregnate am is irrelevant.

How many men today would give their love to a pregnant lady

lawkenoz:


Bro you are very on point....take it from someone talking from experience....it's emotionally draining and damn complicated to date them. The majority who have tried have the same story that's evidence enough by itself.

You scenario was exactly my experience, she hid the kids existence from me cuz we were in separate countries. I only got to find out months later after we got serious. When asked of the kids father you can guess the response she gave....same line you
Typed in the original post.....this women never disappoint like clockwork!

I said okay not bad, lemme try getting to know the kid and make it work. I live in the same country with her parents so her mom brought the kid over and I went visiting to get to know the parents and my prospective step child. Everything went well, I loved the kid even discussed a formal adoption for the child after the nuptials since the father in her words abandoned it.

Few months to the engagement and set date for return to naija to conclude the traditional rites, Babe went AWOL. Stopped picking my calls, her parents as well. There was no way I could reach her, plus I couldn't just travel to her location due to I
Being in a different continent and my job demand.

To Cut the long story short, I had a friend who stays I. The same country to help me check up on them, turns out baby daddy showed up, somehow they made up and had a short lived rekindled love affair. I was seriously vexed but what could a brother do. Madam just ghosted me. I had to let it go ultimately.

Now here comes the interesting part, the baby daddy knocked her up with twins and vanishes again. 3 months to her EDD and 4 to my wedding [b]she calls me up out of the blue and starts pontificating. [/b]Sounds like a movie but I was living it in real time.

Single moms? Hell no to any young single man. If you don't love drama stay far away.

she is shameless

AutoChick4U:
Mary the Mother of Jesus was even Pregnant and Joseph sha Married her. Whether na man or holy spirit impregnate am is irrelevant.

How many men today would give their love to a pregnant lady

You can't blame them, why should i ignore a new car for used car

AutoChick4U:
Now this is where communication is very important. A single mom who still sees, talks to d baby daddy is a suspect. Besides the lady in this your story is a very dumb fvck.

Many single moms are not in contact with their baby fathers and managing alone just like me. Theres minus zero possibility of such happening in my case anyways

This pretty hard, because anytime the father wants to see his child, you won't deny him. So it's really complicated

techWriter1:
@TheGidRedpiller the invasion against simphood is where wegonna attaining turf gradually. Need help with your assignment, project, thesis, or dissertation?

We shall triumph!

Apart from death of spouse.. most single mothers will quote the father of her child as Irresponsible just to be spiteful because she herself must be very Irresponsible.

The way she took the baby from the previous baby daddy is the same way she will take your own baby and run and will call you Irresponsible..

Infact single mothers prefer a widower or maybe someone with reproduction wahala because they don't want any competition.

He child will come first in your property before your biological children.

Not all single.mothers are bad . But apart from issues like domestic violence or death of spouse.

Its a no go area

AfroKnight:


I feel I already stated where her loyalty would become a problem. It appears I was not clear though.

As a father, it is my duty to raise my children with the full support of my wife. However women care more for their kids than the men who gave them the seed to form those kids. Now, I am talking from real-life experience. She will second-guess my intentions at various points in time, where the discipline of her son (who isn’t mine) is concerned.

I’m not about to be told I can’t talk to her son in a certain kind of way or I can’t expect some level of discipline from him just because he isn’t mine.

I’d rather raise kids I have equal rights to by virtue of my DNA.

Kamovi:
AUTOMOBILE EMERGENCY MOBILE POWER SUPPLY.
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Call or WhatsApp number 0.8.1.6.8.2.1.1.8.8.8

Talk price joor