₦airaland Forum

adanny01:
I am not calling her child a flaw, her flaw is the circumstances that left her with a child out of wedlock.

Her flaw is the vulnerability exhibited by the fact that somehow she got pregnant by an irresponsible man and got left alone to bear the consequences. She did things that can be said to be a mistake and it is a flaw in her judgement, it is not the existence of the child that is the flaw. What led to having the child is the flaw.

When you are looking for a wife material, an uneducated woman has a flaw, a woman with a child has a flaw, a woman that cannot cook has a flaw, a woman who has no dress sense has a flaw. A woman who is enterprising has a strength, a woman who has a skill has a strength, a woman who has a Phd has a strenght. Do you understand?

Secondly, how did she hide it from you? Did you ask and she denied?

You post is subjective but not objective.

The subject is you don't want to date or marry a single mother, i agree. Its your choice, i have no part in that. That subject ends there.

The objective however still lingers on, starting a relationship is finding love that ultimately leads to marriage. This woman has the same objective as you. She is open to a relationship and even marriage. She has her strengths and flaws likewise you. The objective of every relationship is that the strengths and flaws of each partner is tolerated by the other. You can't tolerate her flaw, so be it. Go out and find the one you can tolerate and leave this one to the right partner who can tolerate her flaws. You also have your own flaws, as little as they may be, the person you meet next might make a mountain of the little flaw you have.

I am married and will not have married my wife if she had a child out of wedlock.

My issue with you is that you believe she did wrong by not telling you upfront and I say she didnt need to tell you and have not done you any wrong. Secondly, that you expect her to tell you upfront is unrealistic and selfish of you.

A friend of mine recently met a girl. On their first date, she told him her struggles, she told him she lost 3 jobs in 1 yr and has a child to cater for. He was open to a relationship with a girl who has a child but the issue he had with what she told him was purely financial aspect of it. By her words, she seemed to be looking for a man to foot her bills because she was talking about renting a shop to open a salon etc. This girl basically dropped all her problems at his feet, who will stay? If she goes on like that, who will date her?

The mystery of life is not unravelled in one day.

Please stop all this talk. You are very wrong.
Saying a woman with a child doesn't owe you any upfront revelation is simply BS. When should she tell me then? After the first few fûcks? A few thousand fūcks? 3 months to wedding? Or when I'm about 130 years old?

Most single mothers I know always tell you upfront. That way, the man can decide if he wants to stay or not. Secondly,it gives no room for pretense and lies. What you see is what you get and that's how it should be.

Are you sure you are a man? It's very weird hearing this from a guy who wouldn't want to cater for other men's kids.

The calming down to reality na pretense. I doubt if you can ever meet a person as liberal as I am. I say unequivocally that single mothers are a no go area.

Toks2008:
Single mums are sweet to be with cos they have seen it all and most of them are compelled to calm down to reality.

The problem is that they are their own issues.

I created a thread years back about single mums so that is my stand view.

https://www.nairaland.com/2532999/8-words-advice-unmarried-single

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

As if you've not had sex this year at all

AfroKnight:
This is simple dishonesty.

Definition

Dishonesty - deceitfulness shown in someone's character or behaviour

Similar words - deceit, lying, deception, duplicity

When you asked her, did she lie to you? Did she deceive you? Did she tell you something else before?

That means she was honest to you and you are wrong on thinking otherwise of her.

Davash222:
Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.

man u said it all �

Prymestrr:
As if you've not had sex this year at all

She had just this morning

This bullshit story OP told never happened, it is just a figment of his diseased red pill imagination.

Nairalanders are so fvcking gullible, I swear.

I once thrashed this issue on Nairaland.

NO MAN SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED TO MARRY A SINGLE MOTHER.

https://www.nairaland.com/5733643/no-man-should-encouraged-marry

I don't know why women get upset when men say they cannot date single moms or marry single moms. It's a fact of life that most be dealt with, sad fact, but fact all the same.

If you are a single mom get enterprising and do your best to provide for your kids or kid.

Men are more selfish than women naturally, a woman can invest her time and emotions in raising the children of a single dad but lailai, men will not do the same. They always put their needs and comfort first.

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

I agree with you on that one o! Cus if as a woman,u r not good enough for him to marry, then e better make u close leg o! Cus me won't be happy if it happens to my sister or daughter.

[s]

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

[/s]
Shut up
Carelessness, stubbornness and ego brought it to you.
Why did you make him use protection in the first place?
How much is contraceptive?

SyrusdeHansome:
What so many guys don't knw is that not every single mother is a LovePeddler. So many girls got pregnant after trying sex just once. Some of them got pregnant as a result of rape. They had the choice of terminating the pregnancy but refused to commit the sin of fornication nd murder. Not all virgins r good 4 marriage. Being a virgin doesn't necessarily translate to having the needed character that will sustain marriage. There's more to marriage than sex mbok. Let's drop this bias narrative abt single mothers cos the dfrns b/w them nd some of ur saint girlfrnds who r fun of aborting their 2day nd future babies is that they were bold enof to keep the pregnancy out of love 4 the innocent foetus. As 4 me peace of mind is what i need in marriage so if its a single mother that'll give that to me then i'll happily marry her.

Keep fooling yourself...
The lies they told you.

luminouz:
Please stop all this talk. You are very wrong.
Saying a woman with a child doesn't owe you any upfront revelation is simply BS. When should she tell me then? After the first few fûcks? A few thousand fūcks? 3 months to wedding? Or when I'm about 130 years old?

Most single mothers I know always tell you upfront. That way, the man can decide if he wants to stay or not. Secondly,it gives no room for pretense and lies. What you see is what you get and that's how it should be.

Are you sure you are a man? It's very weird hearing this from a guy who wouldn't want to cater for other men's kids.

Those girls are naive. When i was dating, most girls told me, but in most cases, i suspected before they said it. There was no fix rule or time to say it. Saying it on the first date has proven to jinx the relationship.

In most cases, I was never in need of a serious relationship with those girls that had a child. So when the revelation came, I cared not.

The two that were eligible, one was a virgin when i met her and the other I can swear she wasn't the type.

If you can read people, you will never fail to notice that she gave birth before. Abortion, you will not know, but a child is not easy to hide if you are not carried away.

Unless you don't know how to read a woman.

CHoccolaTE:
This bullshit story OP told never happened, it is just a figment of his diseased red pill imagination.

Nairalanders are so fvcking gullible, I swear.

What is so unbelievable about the story?

Davash222:
Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.
Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?
When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.
Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.

Redpiller....the OXBLOOD type of Red..!

Terrier99:
If you are foolish enough to date a single mom, be aware of the following.

Her kids are the priority. Her child or children are always going to come first.

She is rarely available. You can't come over to see her, because she's not comfortable with introducing you to her kids as yet.

If you decide to live with her, then you will be under obligation to take care of her child or children.

You are going to be taking care of another man's child.

She is connected to the child's father for life and both parties may still have feelings for each other.

It is not uncommon for single mothers to sleep with their child's father, even though the relationship has come to an end a long time ago.

Furthermore, a jealous ex partner may make life difficult for you.

If you decide to go ahead, na you sabi.

I married a single mother. We are actually fine. I am very strict when it comes to commitment and honesty, she can read this in my eyes.

She is however very very afraid to lose me, she knows I can send her away anytime she breaks the unwritten rules. I have that as leverage against her.

Alot of guys have no emotional capacity to deal with single mums, reason their is alot of discouragements to marry them.

I don't see anything that is wrong in dating a single mother.But the premises of doing that has to be understandable. In the situation where a woman has been on alter/registry and her husband is till alive and she keeps this to herself until a man has fallen in love with her before she made it known, I don't believe any right thing man should go for such woman. Though this is my own opinion �

Same here for me....I can't marry a man who has a child.....the only way I can do that is if he is a widower

OceanEye:
I married a single mother. We are actually fine. I am very strict when it comes to commitment and honesty, she can read this in my eyes.

She is however very very afraid to lose me, she knows I can send her away anytime she breaks the unwritten rules. I have that as leverage against her.

Alot of guys have no emotional capacity to deal with single mums, reason their is alot of discouragements to marry them.

God bless you.
Lots of men lack the ability to lead hence it is only reasonable they back out.
Ground rules make everything easier. In fact, it makes the relationship stronger since everyone has a standard to live by.

Arewalegend:
anti biotics kill sperm

Doctor, no mislead people to *dae reason this notion, na confirm lie, in case you dae run am wella before now , na problem wey you fit no recover from till infinity you dae create for yourself

emonis88:
I agree with you on that one o! Cus if as a woman,u r not good enough for him to marry, then e better make u close leg o! Cus me won't be happy if it happens to my sister or daughter.

Thank you for being honest.

AutoChick4U:
Mary the Mother of Jesus was even Pregnant and Joseph sha Married her. Whether na man or holy spirit impregnate am is irrelevant.

How many men today would give their love to a pregnant lady

Joseph wanted to break up with Mary before the Holy Spirit told him not to.

How many single mothers can the Holy Spirit appear to their husbands not to dump them?

We guys are hypocrites castigating single mothers , but when it comes to single fathers we have no problem with them dating single girls abi .... Nigerians and double standard

Terrier99:
You will learn the hard way. After wasting your life training other men's children, they will will abandon you and look for their fathers. Even the leftover product you call your wife will tell you to leave them that you did it for God.

Then, you will be an expert at swallowing hypertension drugs.

This comment is so so funny.

Gosh, this man must have had it the hard way.

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

Any man that gets a woman pregnant should take responsibility for it because even me as a person I can't date a single mother.The father of the kid might turn up any time and won't it look wierd?
Some girls have sex for a living if you ask me because no man will want to give them money for free.So, these ladies should work and make their own money
And one thing again is that the single mom might still even be fucking the so called father of her kid secretly,knowing fully well that another guy is interested in her despite the kid she has.

madridsta007:
1. Her child comes first before you, whether dating or married to her.
2. There will always be a third party in the marriage or relationship.
3. She can exit your life any given time. She has built herself to be independent and she can revert to that whenever she suspects you.
4. And yes, she will always suspect you.

This happens in most of the cases. They dont normally heal after the pregnancy incident (pregnancy, coping with family, the child, etc) and the next guy will bear the brunt of that hate for men.

Hmmmm

AGBA....ONE GOLDBERG FOR YOU...Trust Nigerian women...they will open kpekus for you,wash and cook for you just because of that provide and behind still see you as a simp...She bi na you loose guard,trouble hide for corner you carry torch deh find am...?she be na kpekus??sha deh pay bill while she fit don build mansion somewhere.Yoruba ronu eeee..No look for trouble for Buhari goverment.no simp for any body.we both got 2 hands and same time.

Terrier99:
You think the single woman you're dating is yours until you beat her child. That is when you will learn that she comes first, her child(ren) come next, you come last. You're merely a simp and provider for her kids, nothing more.

NaijirianKing:
Mem who value themselves and their commitment don't commit to single mothers.

Hmmmm

Davash222:
Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.

the bolded is 1000% accurate

I can't and I will.never date single mother,their evil

Lollittaa:
unnecessary rules and regulations births hypocrisy and deceit. Perfect love casts out fear. You can't give the love you do not have. This generation seeks to love and be loved, without first knowing the person who's love Himself.

It's not every body that cares about love, just quit it.

People are looking for what will work for them on the long run, and not what to love.

Love is for the moment, it has little or no effect in the future.

Mypeople2:
It states that if you have had sex with someone before you can still have sex over over again with that person even if the person is married

. Thank u, bro