₦airaland Forum

CHoccolaTE:
Sharrap dia

AfroKnight:
I don’t see why the way I think should make any woman hide the fact that she’s a single mother.

She should be upfront with it once a man asks her out. Not after he has begun to develop affection for her and then she springs it on him. No. That’s manipulative.

If he knew from the beginning then he could make up his mind whether or not to continue.

mikovo2002:
I am presently dating a single mother, she had never review the father of her son. All she always tell me is that she didn't know the wereabout of her child father. She put her son first. I am just like second fiddle in the house
She even bought a land in the name of her son bearing the child surname. She save her money for towards the upkeep of her child while my money is for us.
She always take offense when ever I deciplaine the young child of 11 years old

NaijirianKing:
Men control commitment, which is his time, resources and attention. A woman can't be in a relationship with a man unless he agrees to give her one.

Women control who they allow to access their bodies, in short women control sex. Sex can only happen when and if a woman agrees.

Therefore, a woman is supremely responsible for who she opens her body up to and the manner in which she does it. Accountability for who she sleeps with is on her totally.

If a woman simply waited until a man showed her he was serious by meeting her parents, buying a ring, and engaging her, she is being responsible. But a woman who gives herself away to any man who asks has cheapened herself by allowing unserious men to chop and go. Such a woman is responsible for allowing herself to stoop that low. The men are simply taking advantage of an easy marketplace. The lesson is, don't be an easy marketplace for unserious men.

Be a woman if value.

AutoChick4U:
Why u go wan Beat her kid? Is it that you dragging to come first before her kids? Can't you share in d affection? Must it be a competition?

cooooooks:
The onus is on her to bring it up as they know each other.

If he finds out first, it may appear like she was deceiving him.

biggie73:
For me, I won't take care of another man's kiddo. Let everyone be responsible enough for his or her kiddo.

I was trying to date one sometimes ago. Barely after 3 calls, she was asking me for her son's tuition to the University as if I was the father.

Anyway to call the crazy story short, I told her to go resolve her issues with her baby-daddy.

AutoChick4U:
Now this is where communication is very important. A single mom who still sees, talks to d baby daddy is a suspect. Besides the lady in this your story is a very dumb fvck.

Many single moms are not in contact with their baby fathers and managing alone just like me. Theres minus zero possibility of such happening in my case anyways

lawkenoz:
Bro you are very on point....take it from someone talking from experience....it's emotionally draining and damn complicated to date them. The majority who have tried have the same story that's evidence enough by itself.

You scenario was exactly my experience, she hid the kids existence from me cuz we were in separate countries. I only got to find out months later after we got serious. When asked of the kids father you can guess the response she gave....same line you
Typed in the original post.....this women never disappoint like clockwork!

I said okay not bad, lemme try getting to know the kid and make it work. I live in the same country with her parents so her mom brought the kid over and I went visiting to get to know the parents and my prospective step child. Everything went well, I loved the kid even discussed a formal adoption for the child after the nuptials since the father in her words abandoned it.

Few months to the engagement and set date for return to naija to conclude the traditional rites, Babe went AWOL. Stopped picking my calls, her parents as well. There was no way I could reach her, plus I couldn't just travel to her location due to I
Being in a different continent and my job demand.

To Cut the long story short, I had a friend who stays I. The same country to help me check up on them, turns out baby daddy showed up, somehow they made up and had a short lived rekindled love affair. I was seriously vexed but what could a brother do. Madam just ghosted me. I had to let it go ultimately.

Now here comes the interesting part, the baby daddy knocked her up with twins and vanishes again. 3 months to her EDD and 4 to my wedding she calls me up out of the blue and starts pontificating. Sounds like a movie but I was living it in real time.

Single moms? Hell no to any young single man. If you don't love drama stay far away.

Suspect33:
we've made it a norm which was never the case with the previous generations, sexual immorality is no longer frowned upon, people now engage in sexual acts without any iota of shame, this generation will destroy itself

AutoChick4U:
Mary the Mother of Jesus was even Pregnant and Joseph sha Married her. Whether na man or holy spirit impregnate am is irrelevant.

How many men today would give their love to a pregnant lady

lawkenoz:
Bro you are very on point....take it from someone talking from experience....it's emotionally draining and damn complicated to date them. The majority who have tried have the same story that's evidence enough by itself.

You scenario was exactly my experience, she hid the kids existence from me cuz we were in separate countries. I only got to find out months later after we got serious. When asked of the kids father you can guess the response she gave....same line you
Typed in the original post.....this women never disappoint like clockwork!

I said okay not bad, lemme try getting to know the kid and make it work. I live in the same country with her parents so her mom brought the kid over and I went visiting to get to know the parents and my prospective step child. Everything went well, I loved the kid even discussed a formal adoption for the child after the nuptials since the father in her words abandoned it.

Few months to the engagement and set date for return to naija to conclude the traditional rites, Babe went AWOL. Stopped picking my calls, her parents as well. There was no way I could reach her, plus I couldn't just travel to her location due to I
Being in a different continent and my job demand.

To Cut the long story short, I had a friend who stays I. The same country to help me check up on them, turns out baby daddy showed up, somehow they made up and had a short lived rekindled love affair. I was seriously vexed but what could a brother do. Madam just ghosted me. I had to let it go ultimately.

Now here comes the interesting part, the baby daddy knocked her up with twins and vanishes again. 3 months to her EDD and 4 to my wedding she calls me up out of the blue and starts pontificating. Sounds like a movie but I was living it in real time.

Single moms? Hell no to any young single man. If you don't love drama stay far away.

ozuone:
Apart from death of spouse.. most single mothers will quote the father of her child as Irresponsible just to be spiteful because she herself must be very Irresponsible.

The way she took the baby from the previous baby daddy is the same way she will take your own baby and run and will call you Irresponsible..

Infact single mothers prefer a widower or maybe someone with reproduction wahala because they don't want any competition.

He child will come first in your property before your biological children.

Not all single.mothers are bad . But apart from issues like domestic violence or death of spouse.

Its a no go area

Easy5265:
The calming down to reality na pretense. I doubt if you can ever meet a person as liberal as I am. I say unequivocally that single mothers are a no go area.

lawkenoz:
Bro you are very on point....take it from someone talking from experience....it's emotionally draining and damn complicated to date them. The majority who have tried have the same story that's evidence enough by itself.

You scenario was exactly my experience, she hid the kids existence from me cuz we were in separate countries. I only got to find out months later after we got serious. When asked of the kids father you can guess the response she gave....same line you
Typed in the original post.....this women never disappoint like clockwork!

I said okay not bad, lemme try getting to know the kid and make it work. I live in the same country with her parents so her mom brought the kid over and I went visiting to get to know the parents and my prospective step child. Everything went well, I loved the kid even discussed a formal adoption for the child after the nuptials since the father in her words abandoned it.

Few months to the engagement and set date for return to naija to conclude the traditional rites, Babe went AWOL. Stopped picking my calls, her parents as well. There was no way I could reach her, plus I couldn't just travel to her location due to I
Being in a different continent and my job demand.

To Cut the long story short, I had a friend who stays I. The same country to help me check up on them, turns out baby daddy showed up, somehow they made up and had a short lived rekindled love affair. I was seriously vexed but what could a brother do. Madam just ghosted me. I had to let it go ultimately.

Now here comes the interesting part, the baby daddy knocked her up with twins and vanishes again. 3 months to her EDD and 4 to my wedding she calls me up out of the blue and starts pontificating. Sounds like a movie but I was living it in real time.

Single moms? Hell no to any young single man. If you don't love drama stay far away.

Davash222:
Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.

Toks2008:
I agree most of them are very very confused regarding where they place their baby daddy.

But if you meet a reasonable one you won't regret it especially the one that has a child who is Less dependent on her.

And let me bust your bubbles, even the single ladies are no exception, they usually have strong emotional bonding to their exes so whether you go with single mum or single lady it is still the same story.

Just make sure you know the story behind their breakup so you will have an idea of how strong their bonding is.

debbydams:
not all single mothers tho,we still have some with pride and dignity..it not necessary you take responsibilities of the kid,the kid has bn doinh fine before u came to the picture..not all single mother flirt with their baby daddy..

AfroKnight:
Oh. Did she truly like me? Is that why she hid a simple fact from me until I was hooked and it would be difficult to just walk away from a burgeoning beautiful relationship? Well, I don’t want to raise stepchildren. It’s my choice. Am I a bad guy for that? Should I be forced to raised her kid just because I like her?

If a man hid his child from your discussion until you started daydreaming about him and cannot do without calling him everyday, would you be a bad person for choosing not to continue the relationship? Wouldn’t you have preferred to know about the kid from the onset so you can decide if you wouldn’t mind?

luminouz:
Please stop all this talk. You are very wrong.
Saying a woman with a child doesn't owe you any upfront revelation is simply BS. When should she tell me then? After the first few fûcks? A few thousand fūcks? 3 months to wedding? Or when I'm about 130 years old?

Most single mothers I know always tell you upfront. That way, the man can decide if he wants to stay or not. Secondly,it gives no room for pretense and lies. What you see is what you get and that's how it should be.

Are you sure you are a man? It's very weird hearing this from a guy who wouldn't want to cater for other men's kids.

Davash222:
Are you trying to say you don't flirt with your baby daddy

NaijirianKing:
You missed the wisdom in what was clearly laid out for you. I understand that as a single mother this may be hard for you or even painful to accept. I do apologize for the harsh realities laid out, but we must speak truth.

If you're selling an item worth N1,000 inside the market for N25, that makes you a mugu. But you will be a well "patronized" mugu all the same.

You can't blame the customers who patronize you and capitalize off of your foolishness.

If you give what belongs to your husband, who should be a serious man, to any unserious guy who asks you for it, then you know what that makes you my dear....

Hopefully you can comprehend this, but if you can't good luck to you and your children by various men. I hope and wish you the best.

Take care, and please don't reply me again.

lawkenoz:
Bro you are very on point....take it from someone talking from experience....it's emotionally draining and damn complicated to date them. The majority who have tried have the same story that's evidence enough by itself.

You scenario was exactly my experience, she hid the kids existence from me cuz we were in separate countries. I only got to find out months later after we got serious. When asked of the kids father you can guess the response she gave....same line you
Typed in the original post.....this women never disappoint like clockwork!

I said okay not bad, lemme try getting to know the kid and make it work. I live in the same country with her parents so her mom brought the kid over and I went visiting to get to know the parents and my prospective step child. Everything went well, I loved the kid even discussed a formal adoption for the child after the nuptials since the father in her words abandoned it.

Few months to the engagement and set date for return to naija to conclude the traditional rites, Babe went AWOL. Stopped picking my calls, her parents as well. There was no way I could reach her, plus I couldn't just travel to her location due to I
Being in a different continent and my job demand.

To Cut the long story short, I had a friend who stays I. The same country to help me check up on them, turns out baby daddy showed up, somehow they made up and had a short lived rekindled love affair. I was seriously vexed but what could a brother do. Madam just ghosted me. I had to let it go ultimately.

Now here comes the interesting part, the baby daddy knocked her up with twins and vanishes again. 3 months to her EDD and 4 to my wedding she calls me up out of the blue and starts pontificating. Sounds like a movie but I was living it in real time.

Single moms? Hell no to any young single man. If you don't love drama stay far away.

luminouz:
I never asked for this story. Just told you it's better to let it out and know your fate. What will be will be

adanny01:
Let me tell you where you are wrong especially the highlighted.

Does this lady have the right to find love again, if I may ask you? She certainly does. You dont expect her to tell every man she meets on the street that she has a son. Do you expect her to wear a T shirt saying I have a son so that people like you can just stay clear of her.

You have your rights, your rights starts where others end.

If you wish fairness, you also need to think of the father of the child whether women do to him what you did to her.

I am not saying you were wrong to bail from the relationship that never started, I am saying when you bailed like that, you make it look like she did you wrong but actually she never did. She is also looking for the same thing you are looking for and she never lied to you. In fact, your relationship was not there yet.

Please, next time before you ask a girl for her contact, endeavor to ask her if she has a child so this would not repeat. Dont blame if you dont ask.