Digmygold:


I hope you give this same advice to your daughters' prospective suitors when they all become single.mothers hanging around under your roof at 45 years of age and above.

Im not sure you got what I wrote..
Read it again calm down and you will understand better..

Victerica:


Bro, sex outside marriage is bad.. stop trying to sugarcoat these things.

"Bad" and "Irresponsible" are two distinct and distant words.

And I'm no juudge for what is bad or good

J2381:
I'm saying it is good as long as it's not underage and both parties gave their consent.

It is a sin against God. Sex is only permitted in marriage according to God's Word.

UcheforGod:
It is a sin against God. Sex is only permitted in marriage according to God's Word.

Did you forget not everybody believe in your God?

BePrepared:
U say premarital sex, ain't wrong
So why are u guys disturbing us when the consequences start hitting you

Have u seen a chaste guy with general disease or all this Una problem before?

if you'd read what i wrote PROPERLY, you wouldnt write the obove deluded rubbish.

SenatePresdo:
B) for the fact that there is a Blood bond (child) between her and the baby father, there is high chances he can still get her pregnant again under your roof if the baby daddy is a mischievous type.

the above shows your mindset... its called insecurity/low self esteem. why would you even think that because a woman had a child with someone, she would automatically cheat on you to be with that dude again? how did you even come up with that narrow minded conclusion (akak all single mothers will be unfaithful to their new man). are you saying that any man who had a child with a woman, will always have access to her toto, regardless of the life she had AFTER the baby OR regardless of the relationship you have with this woman?!?!?

Is this the kind of Dramas you would risk to plunge into, just to show the world that nothing is wrong with marrying single mothers?

is that really what you see here....aka showing the world that nothing is wrong with single mothers?!?! why dont you instead show us what is actually wrong with all single mothers....instead of the insecure/low self esteem bla bla you just wrote?

We pray not to enter marital problem, someone would see a potential marital problem beforehand and still jump in.. it's only a simpleton that does that

a SIMPLETON is a man trhat automatically dismisses a woman simply because she had a life before him.
.a SIMPLETON is a man that cantuse his brain to differenciate between a good woman and a bad one.
a SIMPLETON is a man that believes that a single motheris automatically a problem
a SIMPLETON is a man that is so weak that he cant use his own brain to make decisions on each individual women and instead would rather hate on all women while beating his chest.

Kccheechy:
your foolishness na follow come...have you not heard of cases where even the pill didn’t stop the development of the baby?? Stay away from premarital sex!!!!! Our problem is that, we know what is wrong but still choose to do it. When problems later come up we refuse to take responsibility and instead look for a cheap way out.

no, our problem is that there are some few people who believe that they can decide on how EVERYONE should live their life, as if you have an authority on other's life. if you dont want to indulge on premarital sex or believe its wrong, then so be it,,,, but stop trying to impose YOUR way of life unto others. some people are perfectly happy having premarital sex and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

AfroKnight:
Has it degenerated to name calling now? So I am not reasonable for choosing not to raise a stepchild or for expecting honesty early in a relationship? Come on.

Hiding the fact that she’s a single mom is not her putting her best foot forward. How did it skip her mind in the first few phone calls? It’s simply hiding important information from a potential partner. The child is not some “flaw” or weakness. He is a very important and very present factor in the relationship. He shouldn’t be introduced as an afterthought. If this opinion is unreasonable to you then I don’t know what to say.

namecalling?!?! what do you mean? you must be mistaking my above post from someone else's. i just asked you a simple question that you have dodged and failed to answer (time and time again). so i will put it up there again:
if you as a man dont show your flaws/fears/weaknesses to women when you 1st meet them, why would you expect these single mothers to be any different on the matter?! or better yet: do you think that violent men, abusive men, unfaithful men, disrespectful men etc tell these women that they are violent/abusive/unfaithfull/untrustworthy/disrespectful etc after a few phone calls?!?!

We make these women Single Mothers because we want to taste any cheap kpekus later we look down on them. African ladies don suffer.

My wife had two female children from previous relationship before I decided to marry her. It changed nothing. We grew to love each other for 25 years till her death early this year. I will marry another Baby Mama over and over again because they make better wives.

MrBrownJay1:


the above shows your mindset... its called insecurity/low self esteem. why would you even think that because a woman had a child with someone, she would automatically cheat on you to be with that dude again? how did you even come up with that narrow minded conclusion (akak all single mothers will be unfaithful to their new man). are you saying that any man who had a child with a woman, will always have access to her toto, regardless of the life she had AFTER the baby OR regardless of the relationship you have with this woman?!?!?

I didn't mention "Automatically".

I said the chances are high she would cheat with the Baby Daddy, you don't have to misquote me just to make your point seem valid.

is that really what you see here....aka showing the world that nothing is wrong with single mothers?!?! why dont you instead show us what is actually wrong with all single mothers....instead of the insecure/low self esteem bla bla you just wrote?

I repeat again; The Single mom or the kid born out of wedlock is not the problem.

You can genuinely love a single mom and still not want to marry her, simply because you don't the have mind to bottle the aftermath effects. And of course, is logical to feel insecure with a woman that already has a baby for another Man.
You can't tell for sure, the relationship level she has with the baby father, she Will always tell you something to make you feel she has nothing going on between them any longer.

Low self-esteem? I should marry a woman that has a kid for another man, just to show that I'm as confident as Samson? If low self-esteem is being careful to avoid possible marital issues, then it's worth it.

a SIMPLETON is a man trhat automatically dismisses a woman simply because she had a life before him.
.a SIMPLETON is a man that cantuse his brain to differenciate between a good woman and a bad one.
a SIMPLETON is a man that believes that a single motheris automatically a problem
a SIMPLETON is a man that is so weak that he cant use his own brain to make decisions on each individual women and instead would rather hate on all women while beating his chest.

You keep running outside of the circle.

Who told you anything is wrong with a single mom? I can be friends with a single mom, even buy them gifts and offer a hand if need be.
A good person is a good person, regardless.

Nobody is hating on them, just that you don't want to wife them. Is marriage now a medium to show pity? It's only a simpleton that marries out of pity

One can choose to marry a single mom, if he finds no problem in it and can handle anything that comes out of it, and it's not a must that problem must come out of it, just that some people don't want to risk it at all.

And their decision is good for them, you can't change it or condemn it, neither would I condem someone that wants to marry a single mom.
Every Man is not ready to take up the responsibility of a bastard child, not even as charity, but as a responsibility.

Bornboy4:
We make these women Single Mothers because we want to taste any cheap kpekus later we look down on them. African ladies don suffer.

My wife had two female children from previous relationship before I decided to marry her. It changed nothing. We grew to love each other for 25 years till her death early this year. I will marry another Baby Mama over and over again because they make better wives.

Nobody is condemning single moms, just that every man is not strong hearted enough to overlook the fact that the person they want to marry has a baby for another man.

Bornboy4:
We make these women Single Mothers because we want to taste any cheap kpekus later we look down on them. African ladies don suffer.

My wife had two female children from previous relationship before I decided to marry her. It changed nothing. We grew to love each other for 25 years till her death early this year. I will marry another Baby Mama over and over again because they make better wives.

Sorry about your loss Sir.
Single mothers can be very respectful if you love them very well. They are very unique only that they don't like to be taken advantaged of

Currently in a relationship with a single mother, but am weighing my options. I am a virgin, never had sex before (that's a personal choice) and this woman has agreed to get married to me. She tells me virtually everything, she has told me everything about herself. Showed me all her chats, so she's clean. She is not materialistic, she even sends me money and buy gifts for me. She said, she has seen the perfect man in me (I don't claim to be perfect) but I don't see her as my future partner yet. Her character is good for now but I understand that people can change after marriage so am still observing for now.

SenatePresdo:
I didn't mention "Automatically".
I said the chances are high she would cheat with the Baby Daddy, you don't have to misquote me just to make your point seem valid.

check your mindset bro, we can clearly understand from what you wrote that your problem is deeper than you think. thats why you didnt just write that it was high chances the a baby daddy FUKCS a woman again, but instead wrote that there was high chances he would GET HER PREGNANT, which is on another level completely. i didnt misquote you.

I repeat again; The Single mom or the kid born out of wedlock is not the problem.
You can genuinely love a single mom and still not want to marry her, simply because you don't the have mind to bottle the aftermath effects.

bro you are truly confused..... so you mean to say you can love a single mother (aka date her etc) but but as soon as marriage issue is concerned, thats where your problem is?!

And of course, is logical to feel insecure with a woman that already has a baby for another Man.You can't tell for sure, the relationship level she has with the baby father, she Will always tell you something to make you feel she has nothing going on between them any longer.

A) there is no logic to the above insecurity you are talking about. if she aint with him any longer AND act right in your r/ship then there is no reason why you should automatically have doubts about a single mother.
B) why do you care what r/ship level she has with baby daddy IF SHE IS WITH YOU NOW and act right in your r/ship?
C) why do you automatically think that there would still be something going on between them?

Low self-esteem? I should marry a woman that has a kid for another man, just to show that I'm as confident as Samson? If low self-esteem is being careful to avoid possible marital issues, then it's worth it.

remember, you are the one who is focussed on marriage here, as the OP was solely talking about dating....and as we can confirm, since you can "love" a single mother it means that dating is ok for you....aka CASE CLOSED!

You keep running outside of the circle.
Who told you anything is wrong with a single mom? I can be friends with a single mom, even buy them gifts and offer a hand if need be.
A good person is a good person, regardless.
Nobody is hating on them, just that you don't want to wife them. Is marriage now a medium to show pity? It's only a simpleton that marries out of pity

One can choose to marry a single mom, if he finds no problem in it and can handle anything that comes out of it, and it's not a must that problem must come out of it, just that some people don't want to risk it at all.

And their decision is good for them, you can't change it or condemn it, neither would I condem someone that wants to marry a single mom.
Every Man is not ready to take up the responsibility of a bastard child, not even as charity, but as a responsibility.

- a man that automatically assumes that a single mother is a potential problem (or that there are risks with such woman), simply because she had a kid with someone else, thats a SIMPLETON move.
. a man that cant tell a single mother what time it is...aka that her bastard child is hers and her only and that you want nothing to do with him/her... thats a SIMPLETON move.
- a man that automatically shakes in his boots when he sees a single mother, regardless of the interaction you guys have together etc , is a SIMPLETON

jiboladhino:
We guys are hypocrites castigating single mothers , but when it comes to single fathers we have no problem with them dating single girls abi .... Nigerians and double standard

Its all about the responsibility for the child, that's the central cruise,try to understand something please

NaijirianKing:
They're not really cashing in or even out. In the US, child support, which is money paid to baby-mothers every month can be as low as $314 a month, while the average cost of renting a place is $1,200 a month.

This is why most single mothers are struggling and living in some of the worst conditions in the country.

In the US most of these women live in government assisted facilities and neighborhoods called "housing projects."

If you have any relatives in the states ask around. These places are breeding grounds for chaos, criminality and drugs.

Many baby-mothers hope and pray a rich man will magically appear and save them, but most never progress and their daughters follow in the steps and a vicious cycle is created. 84% prisoners in the US come from homes with single mothers.

The problem is Nigerians are so quick to copy copy, follow follow, without really analyzing the habits they are picking up.

It's sad Nigerian women are increasingly becoming baby mamas....

This is due to lack of exposure and they think anything America is good without having real life experience on what is obtainable over there

Roseey0:
When love catch you....

There is absolutely nothing like love here

cococandy:
Instead of answering yes or no to a definition that you created by yourself, you went in a tangential inconsequential rant.

By your own post, the woman slept with an irresponsible man who didn’t wait until marriage to have sex with her. Now I’m asking you, have you ever been an irresponsible man who didn’t wait until marriage to sleep with a woman?
It’s a simple yes or no question.

But we know how it goes. Once y’all’s foolish stance on anything that concerns women is questioned, you start creating hare-brained illogical theories to justify your hypocrisy.
I don’t need to go back and forth with you but by your own definition, if you have had sex with a lady who isn’t your wife, you’re one of the irresponsible men you mentioned.

Your questions to him Is irrelevant and manipulative, his personal life doesn't concern you and between even if he fvcked some IRRESPONSIBLE ladies ,those ladies bear the consequences and not him.

Gamesmart:


What an incredible foolish set of questions.

So when a man beats his own biological kids, it is because he is "dragging to come first before the kids"? Or he is in competition with the kids?

Incredibly foolish!

I smell a single mother here. And definitely the type men should avoid because she will never be logical with you when raising her kids, she just needs you to be around to pay for them and save her. She needs you to sacrifice your interests, assets and focus on only her own. Her means of delivering this selfish agenda will be the foolish and illogical reasoning and shaming statements like this "Can't you share in d affection".

Her child can misbehave and disrespect you while you pay for his or her life and all she will tell you is "Leave my child alone! Can't you share in d affection otherwise you are not a real man".

Avoid like Coronavirus!

You can now see why we are advising men to shun single mothers

Toks2008:


See guy, I'm in my 40s, when I was in my 20s and early 30s I shared your view but right now i see absolutely nothing wrong in marrying a single mum as long as she is still hot and she adheres to the advise I gave on that thread I created about 6years ago.

Is not about u toks, it takes 2 to tangle ,you play yours and can definitely not determine how she play hers,be wise!

Toks2008:


I agree most of them are very very confused regarding where they place their baby daddy.

But if you meet a reasonable one you won't regret it especially the one that has a child who is Less dependent on her.

And let me bust your bubbles, even the single ladies are no exception, they usually have strong emotional bonding to their exes so whether you go with single mum or single lady it is still the same story.

Just make sure you know the story behind their breakup so you will have an idea of how strong their bonding is.

Is not the same with the two categories of ladies u mentioned ,the single mom has a very hefty baggage and responsibility she's coming with which is th3 child and that's the bone of contention in this thread and not just a mere ex

debbydams:
not all single mothers tho,we still have some with pride and dignity..it not necessary you take responsibilities of the kid,the kid has bn doinh fine before u came to the picture..not all single mother flirt with their baby daddy..

Practically it is not possible not to take responsibility, we do know how it goes

Gamesmart:


Don't mind her.

She is just an incredibly selfish single mother who thinks shaming tactics is her way of getting her selfish ways.

It makes them look more terrible bc we already know those antics ,lol they fvcied and bore a child,they should live with the consequences , no one owes anyone anything

debbydams:
nd did I told I'm someone baby mama,abi Awa gbami bayi, all I'm saying is u don't generalize Things..some baby mamas still have dignity nd won't open legs for their baby daddy..e.g men flirt that doesnt mean all men flirt we still have the good ones..Iost my uncle 2004 because of this baby mama ish

His babe mama kee am?

cococandy:
Oh wise man
Notice I haven’t argued with you on any of your points. All I had were clarification questions
Now my question to you is this?
Have you ever been an unserious guy to any woman before?
It’s not a hard question

Becoming childish already

emsco:
Same reason i broke up with a Nairalander lady.. we were into each other , doing lovey dovey for about a month. WE got to meet several times and even plan on getting married only for her to tell me she has a son.
I ask why she didn't tell me when we first met but all she said was " that shouldn't be a problem"..
I had to run for my life, I'm a single guy that is not how I plan to live my life.

You did well

Nma3595:
If only our men start taking responsibilities for their actions, we wont have single mums every where. a woman who accepted her mistake and kept the baby is more honorable and well mannered than the man who took off and allowed her bear the shame alone. most guys who talk about single mums are actually the ones who get women pregnant and leave them. Dont crucify any single mum because you dont know her story.

Reason why women need to get sense knowing they will be the ones to suffer the consequences 9f such ill advised adventures !

AutoChick4U:
Kindly stop this talk about copy copy. Perhaps if the govt legalizes abortion, d rate will drop. Even if you talk about abortion, you'll see many begging you to keep it, ngwanu you've kept many will still castigate you. Everyone should just do what makes them happy abeg

You could have used #50 condom or #500 postinor 2,it would have saved you this headache

Digmygold:


I hope you give this same advice to your daughters' prospective suitors when they all become single.mothers hanging around under your roof at 45 years of age and above.

Please find new thing ,we have seen this line 9f emotional blackmail before ,thank u

Bornboy4:
We make these women Single Mothers because we want to taste any cheap kpekus later we look down on them. African ladies don suffer.

My wife had two female children from previous relationship before I decided to marry her. It changed nothing. We grew to love each other for 25 years till her death early this year. I will marry another Baby Mama over and over again because they make better wives.

See this single mother disguising

Ikwerelastborn:

Please find new thing ,we have seen this line 9f emotional blackmail before ,thank u

The emotional blackmail continue with your frustrated single mother daughters at 45.

Ikwerelastborn:

Practically it is not possible not to take responsibility, we do know how it goes

it is possible.don't argue wiitth me