Fill the gas if you can in addition to others you are doing, but don't 4get to have heavy savings for exigencies that's hidden from her. Always make sure you save enough for her hospital bill during Child birth etc else get ready for embarrassment. Don't accept her support in anything you do else she'll tell the world that she did it.

Romanoff:


Your stats are very inaccurate and working with an NGO doesn't make it credible.

I know many people whose mum were the bread winners, either due to a deadbeat dad or dad not having as much as mum.

And I still see it everyday.

Where there's a problem is when you want the woman who is the bread winner to come back home and do chores while you lounge in the house and be the "man" of the house.

How do you arrive at the conclusion that his stats are inaccurate because u have seen (withput stats to back up like his') "so called balanced " marriages.

I had wanted to tell you that you could never tell since you dont stay with them 24/7 but saw no need as most of ur replies on this thread seemed to come from your personal experience with your husband. You were not comfortable with having a joint purse bacause you though he would police the money.

Kobojunkie:
Things like what?

bad attitudes from her side but you ignore it thinking that when you get married to her she will change

I just broke up a relationship because she is not being appreciative of the little I do watch out of the the little things you overlook in courtship na those things go Hunt you for marriage

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

How do you know she loves you? The truth is majority of Nigerian men use money to purchase respect in their home. The success of a family is dependent on the husband and wife. The both of you should normally plan your resources together but in most cases we hear I am the man I carry all the load on the family...smh.
The truth is we start relationship the wrong way in this country and the later we come out to complain. My advice is either you call her and talk to her or you continue to carry your 98% so she can continue to respect you, then pray you don't loose your job.
It is sad that most men only earn respect from their wives because they are the bread winner.

It depends on who you marry, my wife salary multiply mine almost 3* and if I didn't mention it, you won't know she is the breadwinner, we use common purse, we do everything in common, you know why because we have someone who is the chairman of our marriage and that is Jesus Christ, we live happy life while we both try to get things better,we work as a team, no one is selfish here. There is a big difference between those who are sincere children of God and those who are pretenders,if both couple are children of God nobody will know anything except you spill it out

You are too good. You must be a play wright

This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that is after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stay at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persists to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.[/color][/quote]

spice123:

My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

Don't try this shit. It doesn't always work.
Women must be women.
They don't appreciate a car you bought for them but will always rub it on your face if they try and buy you simple shoes. I tire for them.

spice123:

My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

I can relate!
It is "over sense" that actually destroys the whole thing.
"I was out of job for 6months too and i didnt know " because we have been in the practice of "our pause" since day one..we had(still have) a bag we simply throw money into and we never bother to count. Now wifey is out of job and she doesnt know too, i only remembered when i saw this post.

So the case OP cited is yet cryptic to me!

chatinent:


This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that is after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stay at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persists to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.

Thank you for this wonderful right up. You are great.

Romanoff:


I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

My wife is special. She's not feeding the family but doesn't complain or nag over her contributions to the running of the family since 2011. We're a good team! And I do surprise her occasionally with nice dress from boutique, just to remind her that I really do appreciate her efforts in the family.

chatinent:


This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that is after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stay at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persists to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.

You said it all, you know!

I think most Nigerian women were brought up to think it's their husband's duty to do all that financial stuff and leave her to use her money as she wills.

Most of us don't have financial or money skills no thanks to the economy where prices are soooo erratic.


Poster needs to have a chat with his wife to understand her behaviour. Is the gas filling too much for her to bear?


Talk it over with her and explain how much you already pay towards the house expenses.



In the abroad, you know you have to pay part of the house bills and you won't hear any complaints from women

Person wey go marry in this time should not complain of wicked wife because ladies nowadays lack character.

I disagreed, there's no way a woman would be a breadwinner that you wouldn't know, even if she sited beside Jesus and Muhammad you would surely know. Women are not made to carry any responsibilities but house core in general. I pray to God to bless men in any good things that they lay their hands on

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

1Sharon:


Do you know what a feminist is? Lol

Yes I know who a feminist is. We’ve talked about this topic extensively. Sadly many Nigerian women who claim to be feminists don’t know what it means, and with the lol in your post, I wonder if you know what feminism is all about

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Very very very selfish of her! I'd be happy to at least pick up one bill without complaint at least to relieve d man. she even ought to get electric stove to add sef.

I'm sorry but the kinda woman you married will send u to an early grave with verbal frustrations if you lose ur job. They don't know thats d time to seek God fervently.

NwaAmaikpe:




I may be wrong but I personally believe that the easiest and most therapeutic way to cope as a man if your wife is the breadwinner of the home is by making "Cuckold" your favourite porn genre.

It makes you realize that so many men go through worse and they were able to transform the negativity into a great source of personal pleasure.
If you can't stand it, then be better.

Except you are terminally ill or medically incapacitated, allowing your wife become the breadwinner is worse than Esau gifting his birthright to Jacob.

You'd lose all your dominance, influence, and respect. It won't be long before she starts sending you on errands to buy condoms for her to take to work.

Over to Lala and the other elders.

I have never seen anyone this daft in my entire life. Damn you deserve a Guinness record.

azammi:
If it was that hidden how come you know she bought the house and car

Na amebo cause am, puke nosing into pples affairs.

socialmediaman:


Yes I know who a feminist is. We’ve talked about this topic extensively. Sadly many Nigerian women who claim to be feminists don’t know what it means, and with the lol in your post, I wonder if you know what feminism is all about

Nigerians think its about wearing d trousers without complaint

Are u talking about full house husband?

spice123:

My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

The only reason you were broke for 6 months is because u have been removing your transport cost and giving everything left to your wife.

That's the most nonsensical financial advice I've ever heard, who does that?

Davash222:

May God have mercy on His people.

E no go better for poverty!

As in ehn, death to feminism.... I dont have a poverty mentality and if someone ask me that for example, I'll say hold it, even in that example, i cant be poor....make I sit down for house dey wash clothes and sweep, a whole man in 21st century. What's the usefulness of my brain to think and map out a business if there arent paid employment?

valentinos22:


I can relate!
It is "over sense" that actually destroys the whole thing.
"I was out of job for 6months too and i didnt know " because we have been in the practice of "our pause" since day one..we had(still have) a bag we simply throw money into and we never bother to count. Now wifey is out of job and she doesnt know too, i only remembered when i saw this post.

So the case OP cited is yet cryptic to me!

You and your wife did a fantastic job. Kudos to you! Many couple don't know this.

spice123:

My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

121 women liked this fiction.
how much do you make a month?
all these church inspired stories dey sweet sha!

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

Best submission and wisest of all...

Xtopher123:


I have never seen anyone this daft in my entire life. Damn you deserve a Guinness record.

you might deserve one too for licking woman nyansh thinking that will give you pussy!
he said the bitter truth unless you are a woman as usual.

elonmuskbaby:
Hmnn

I think this issue is lack of communication

Communicate your feelings and expectations to her

Yeah I totally agree with you.. Voice your feelings so you don't end up resenting her.

JustforMen:

you might deserve one too for licking woman nyansh thinking that will give you pussy!
he said the bitter truth unless you are a woman as usual.

Of course, there will be his likes running in my mentions. Not surprised.

I think Guinness can make the award for 2.

He said it all

Romanoff:


And if it takes him up to two years to get the job, that's all he will do?

That is what will cause problems in his marriage.

When the woman has an unsupportive husband whose manhood is tied to his wallet.

You must be smoking raw shit.
A man in this 21st century is completely useless if he sits at home to wash clothes, cook and do house chores. I hope u are not married to one or hoping your daughters marry one.
Even if a man lost his job, there are many things he could have channelled his energy to that will make him more productive other than washing your pants.

Your assertion that he should do house chores only shows the depth of you mind. So if you were both working, you will agree he shouldn't be doing house chores, so when he has no job, then be should resume at the kitchen, u are a control freak

JovialJune:
Lol, jobless married men should be useful in the house by doing the chores, cooking, and taking care of the kids, believe me, no woman will insult or demean a man like that, instead, she will make it her life's goal to get him back on his feet again. A man cannot be useless at home and useless in providing leaving everything for the breadwinner to do, then expect respect and cuddling, mbanu, it doesnt work like that, you guys should stop the whining, make yourself useful at home.

As for what your wife did abi is doing, carry your cross like that, rebuke her, or ignore her, you knew who she was before you married her.

Spotted

spice123:

My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

I typed a long reply to this foolishness disguised as a comment , but it’s not worth it - keep it up, you go soon wise