bigpicture001:
All these choleric phlematic ur discribing... Hope u k ow if u don't have much money, she will do u in five years...

Just so that u know!

I wish money could solve the problem. I'm not a poor man.

mastermaestro:


As a choleric myself, it is the worst decision you would ever make if you as a choleric marry a fellow choleric. I am glad you know so much about temperament. This is my wish for youths of this age. Knowing your temperament is like knowing your genotype.

When you marry her, what follows?

1. You will either bend or break.
2. It will be a ship with two captains. Cholerics are leaders by nature. No choleric is ever happy as a subordinate. Unless it is for a short period.
3. You may have to become the mouse, while she reigns as the cat.
4. You will never be a happy person. You will feel caged unable to express your real self.
5. Your home will likely become a warzone.
6. You will never agree on most things.
7. The marriage will fail eventually. I won't hide this from you.
8. Worst still one of you will end up dead by the hands of the other.

I am saying this as choleric myself. My brother, please end the relationship. Look for a melancholic or a phlegmatic. But as a choleric, a melancholic is your best bet. Decide now!

A melancholic is a wrong choice for him because they are highly sensitive and suck in anger till they unleash it on whoever will be unfortunate to receive it. It will only work if he isn't 100% choleric. Take this from someone who is 100% melancholic.

Modernizer:
I won't bore you all with a long write up.

I'm ready to settle down, actually I needed to settle down like yesterday. Problem is, I don't make friends easily and hooking up is even tougher. I don't trust easily.
So I'm talking with this girl that checks all my boxes ( quite a rare feat for my high expectations), but for one thing...she is evidently a choleric. I know because I'm one myself.

The hot temper, impetuousness, some bossy-ness, independent mindedness, low empathy, high ambition...all those tell tale choleric features give it away.

Now I know cholerics are advised to get their opposites say phlegmatic for relationship purposes, but I want to ask the house: can I a hot tempered man cope with a hot tempered woman?
Any people with experience on this here?
Can both of us with low empathy really be compatible?

The adverse statistics coming out of marriage these days scares the sh..t out of me. I don't want any of it.

Should I drop this girl? Or can it work?

Sorry oo...it may sound small but that's my own challenge.

Cc newbornmacho, Ahnie, kestolove

You are not ready to tone down your temper or work on your obvious behavioural problems, you want to get married?
Marriage is heading for the rocks even before it starts.

newbornmacho:


True talk sha. But with parental death in the picture and need for family preservation at issue, I lack the counter arguments to my people

My own is who's the op here? Is it Modernizer or NewbornMacho. How come NewbornMacho is answering personal questions thrown at Modernizer the op in first person tense.

Confuse dimakwa

Modernizer:
I won't bore you all with a long write up.

I'm ready to settle down, actually I needed to settle down like yesterday. Problem is, I don't make friends easily and hooking up is even tougher. I don't trust easily.

So I'm talking with this girl that checks all my boxes ( quite a rare feat for my high expectations), but for one thing...she is evidently a choleric. I know because I'm one myself.

The hot temper, impetuousness, some bossy-ness, independent mindedness, low empathy, high ambition...all those tell tale choleric features give it away.

Now I know cholerics are advised to get their opposites say phlegmatic for relationship purposes, but I want to ask the house: can I a hot tempered man cope with a hot tempered woman?
Any people with experience on this here?
Can both of us with low empathy really be compatible?

The adverse statistics coming out of marriage these days scares the sh..t out of me. I don't want any of it.

Should I drop this girl? Or can it work?

Sorry oo...it may sound small but that's my own challenge.

Cc newbornmacho, Ahnie, kestolove

All this choleric or diarrhoeaic stuff has nothing to do with the longevity of a relationship. Mutual sacrifice, mutual declaration of your assets and liabilities, clear determination of the rules of engagement in the marriage, the setting of minimum standards and the desire to change, learn and grow all determine great relationships! Find your match, bond, change, learn and grow.

LordIsaac:
The problem with martial incompatibility will not be evident months and years before marriage. It will become very clear a few months after; for some sef, it is on the marriage day the war begins. Who you need is someone who will be quiet and cry in her little corner when emotions are high...it is the only way you can keep thriving till both of you blend in understanding. Trust me, she will begin to annoy you the minute you realized you've just married another you, in stead of your opposite. And we will be here to read comments later if you fail to have common sense. Shalom.

Thanks

Walking:
Let me state that, you saw all these signs even before now but, you neglected them until now.

Truth is, to all temperaments, there is always a dominant and recessive one. In your case, what's your recessive and your partner's, if the recessive is complementary you guys can work out something.

Lastly, there is a place of self control and ability to work on your weaknesses.

You can sieve my write up to decipher your decision and let the Holy spirit guide you if you are a Christian.

Selah.

Thanks

Harddiskng:


Brother leave her to become an evening newspaper in peace. Trouble dey sleep, yanga go wake am.

There are far better babes out there. Marriage is a life-time commitment, I don’t pray that you or even my enemy to spend a life-time with such a character as a wife. E no funny at all.

All these things plus “low empathy”, its like you don’t value your life nor peace to even consider. You see woman with bad behavior, your coconut head still wan carry am as wife. There is always a lesson to be learnt, you go see something.

Thanks bro

Each temperament has its own strenghts and weakness so the onus if for the both of you to genuinely work on your weakness.

I so much like how Tim Lahaye titled his book on temperaments, Spirit Controlled.

You guys should open up to the Holy Spirit for guidance.

Marriage is a union between 2 forgiving individuals that are open to learn and talk issues out.

If the both of you are the forgiving type and have this willingness and openness to conflict resolutions then I see no reason things will not work out for you.

Also pray that God will guide you right knowing this is a life time commitment.

You can also talk to marriage counselors in your church or couples that you admire for insights.

I wish you well.

OJEEMAH:
If you decide to marry her at the end of the day, just ensure you make more money cos i have discovered humans especially women respects and adore rich/wealthy peeps.

If money can solve the problem, then it's all good. I'm not poor. But will money keep her under? If I provide Will she accept to be a housewife?

womenareapess:
keep going on till that black female baboon of yours pour hot water on you or cut your pennnis during sleep

Scary

SUGARCyprian247:
Oops! I think I just learnt a new word today.

Choleric


Thank you OP.


PS: When it comes to marriage you can never play smart/wise. You can only be lucky or Unlucky.

The most compatible might turn out to be the most toxic.

Hmmmmm...really?? Can two cholerics blend?

Why don't you sit her down and discuss it. Put it in the open so both of you can manage your temperaments as you go into marriage. Whatever you bring to the open is half conquered. You can also start adopting some phlegmatic qualities you desire. It is possible. Don't keep or maintain things like anger. It hasn't helped anyone in this life or yonder. Speak to yourself, speak the Word of God. Anger rests in the bosom of fools so says the Preacher.

Funny how you are hesitant about a trait (Hot temper) in someone else which you clearly accept that you have.

koyyes:


A melancholic is a wrong choice for him because they are highly sensitive and suck in anger till they unleash it on whoever will be unfortunate to receive it. It will only work if he isn't 100% choleric. Take this from someone who 100% melancholic.

Oga oo

koyyes:


A sanguine will divorce him straight up. They love fun and happiness alot.

Seems the guy is a killjoy..

Hear him talk about how he doesn't have empathy. And he doesn't want to change that. That's the last kind of man to go near.

Asour:
Funny how you are hesitant about a trait (Hot temper) in someone else which you clearly accept that you have.

I am aware of my weaknesses so I know not to pile on someone with same... but I'm wondering if the two can go

koyyes:


A melancholic is a wrong choice for him because they are highly sensitive and suck in anger till they unleash it on whoever will be unfortunate to receive it. It will only work if he isn't 100% choleric. Take this from someone who 100% melancholic.

That's not correct. Maybe you are secondarily choleric. Maybe I should have added that he should go for a melancholic whose secondary temperament is sanguine. Melancholics are the best for cholerics.
Why?
Properly developed melancholics are very organized, intelligent and very diligent. They give their best. And they avoid confrontations. These few traits are what cholerics crave for.
You may want to suggest phlegmatic. Phlegmatics are best managed by sanguine.
I would have to write an epistle for you to understand me perfectly.

All temperaments have their weaknesses. However these weaknesses can be managed by a correct coming together.
Maybe I will outline their strengths and weaknesses, but not now.

And please don't mix up the meaning of the concept of melancholic as a temperament and as a mere English word. They totally mean different things.
Please keep the discussion refined.

BRATISLAVA:


Seems the guy is a killjoy..

Hear him talk about how he doesn't have empathy. And he doesn't want to change that. That's the last kind of man to go near.

Even though you say it with some disrespect, you're actually right. I'm not necessarily fun to be with. I'm a workaholic, highly cerebral, always thinking about solutions to difficult problems, hate parties, rarely hang out, hate company, prefer news for my TV relaxation, play very hardball to make money....classic choleric.

Will any other temperament cope?

Is it not a choleric I need?

Very confused

Modernizer:
I won't bore you all with a long write up.

I'm ready to settle down, actually I needed to settle down like yesterday. Problem is, I don't make friends easily and hooking up is even tougher. I don't trust easily.

So I'm talking with this girl that checks all my boxes ( quite a rare feat for my high expectations), but for one thing...she is evidently a choleric. I know because I'm one myself.

The hot temper, impetuousness, some bossy-ness, independent mindedness, low empathy, high ambition...all those tell tale choleric features give it away.

Now I know cholerics are advised to get their opposites say phlegmatic for relationship purposes, but I want to ask the house: can I a hot tempered man cope with a hot tempered woman?
Any people with experience on this here?
Can both of us with low empathy really be compatible?

The adverse statistics coming out of marriage these days scares the sh..t out of me. I don't want any of it.

Should I drop this girl? Or can it work?

Sorry oo...it may sound small but that's my own challenge.

Cc newbornmacho, Ahnie, kestolove

does she has money

uracefriend:
Why don't you sit her down and discuss it. Put it in the open so both of you can manage your temperaments as you go into marriage. Whatever you bring to the open is half conquered. You can also start adopting some phlegmatic qualities you desire. It is possible. Don't keep or maintain things like anger. It hasn't helped anyone in this life or yonder. Speak to yourself, speak the Word of God. Anger rests in the bosom of fools so says the Preacher.

Ok

newbornmacho:


Ok

Thanks for holding. I'm done now.

Modernizer:



well, i really need to settle down, and im really not the type that eadily gets into relationships. so im wondering how long it would take me to reach this extent again with a new person

Sounds like you're in a hurry to rest in peace.

bayulll011:


does she has money

Nope. I do.

EmptyGarden:

Sounds like you're in a hurry to rest in peace.

Bro ...they're on my neck

Modernizer:



well, i really need to settle down, and im really not the type that eadily gets into relationships. so im wondering how long it would take me to reach this extent again with a new person

you really need to settle down and you are willing to just do it with anybody regardless the already red flag u are seeing... Maybe u think marriage has recess, or maybe u do not mind a broken or a home filled with abuse..... Save your future kids mental health and get married to who can manage your anger not same person like you....

@ Modernizer, think twice before you say "I do" it's always better to marry someone who's not exactly like you so you can complement each other. I'm phlegmatic married to a sanguine. We get along well.

newbornmacho:


Even though you say it with some disrespect, you're actually right. I'm not necessarily fun to be with. I'm a workaholic, highly cerebral, always thinking about solutions to difficult problems, hate parties, rarely hang out, hate company, prefer news for my TV relaxation, play very hardball to make money....classic choleric.

Will any other temperament cope?

Is it not a choleric I need?

Very confused

You said it better than I could.

Guy reconsider your hatred for women.

placeofallure:
@ Modernizer, think twice before you say "I do" it's always better to marry someone who's not exactly like you so you can complement each other. I'm phlegmatic married to a sanguine. We get along well.

But time is against me

cedricksly:
you really need to settle down and you are willing to just do it with anybody regardless the already red flag u are seeing... Maybe u think marriage has recess, or maybe u do not mind a broken or a home filled with abuse..... Save your future kids mental health and get married to who can manage your anger not same person like you....

Kk

newbornmacho:


Even though you say it with some disrespect, you're actually right. I'm not necessarily fun to be with. I'm a workaholic, highly cerebral, always thinking about solutions to difficult problems, hate parties, rarely hang out, hate company, prefer news for my TV relaxation, play very hardball to make money....classic choleric.

Will any other temperament cope?

Is it not a choleric I need?

Very confused

You've based your life around so much temperament jargon. Who are you, really? Who do you need to be?

Who told you there's anything like a choleric? People are blends. But you seem to revel in your antisocial tendencies as a badge of honor for cholerics. You're probably more of an introvert than a choleric.

Being "highly" cerebral isn't an excuse to be a douchebag without empathy, or to use it as an excuse to be high on volatile temperament. The rest of the world is also highly cerebral and volatile tempered. How do the rest of us learn to live with a partner peacefully?

You are looking for temperaments, but unless you work on yourself you will still split from anyone you're with.

Everyone can change positively. And if they can't, they need drugs for it. Or behavioral therapy.

Reduce your judgmental introversion. People learn empathy.

koyyes:

You can imagine such a disgusting mentality. And he wants to get married to someone he will be calling a prostitute when his hothead madness starts and he throws his mannerless tanthrums.

I just knew it's a red pill guy.

Once you hear guys that claim they are rigid and strict, just know they want to control women. Meanwhile they cannot change or be better people. Rather the person who they want to enter into a relationship must become a footrag and let it be their way alone, or the relationship isn't worth it to them.

People are poorly socialized and it's reflecting in relationships and offices.