₦airaland Forum

Skyview01:
The beating was wrong, you dont just beat an adult even your child. It doesn't solve any problem.

You preferred they applaud her right, for doing the right thing?

I don't even know the education and exposure we had that we always want to imitate the whites

She hasn't grown beyond corrections. Not even to the shame she brought upon her family

We are Africans and not whites

Spherical77:
You preferred they applaud her right, for doing the right thing?

I don't even know the education and exposure we had that we always want to imitate the whites

She hasn't grown beyond corrections. Not even to the shame she brought upon her family

We are Africans and not whites

I know. I prefer we look at other means of solving conflicts instead of beating. Most of the time, beating the child does not yield the desired outcome.
Look at the lady in question, she became further alienated from the family after the beating.
I used to beat my kids in the past for offences but i stopped doing that. The message it passes to my kids is me not having my emotions under control and i am teaching them to use violence to resolve conflict
When you discipline a child, you are trying to correct them and still show them love in the process.
At the end, we all want a peaceful outcome.

Man is still talking. Time to unfollow this thread

NPTJ:
Thanks for your kind gesture ma. God will reward you bountifully

A friend who got mobilised for her NYSC around July this year said she paid 10k from Lagos to PH. I pressure coming will be within the same range also

20k will take me to and fro. Thanks and God bless

Still waiting for the details

It's simple...report the matter to the police or find some of these organizations who help people for free with situations like this, they will get the man into problem at least, even if your sister doesn't want to leave him. When he faces trouble and law court issues, he will be the one to send your sister back

igbowoman:
Still waiting for the details

0142245483 Gtbank

Thanks a lot ma @ Igbowoman

Skyview01:
I know. I prefer we look at other means of solving conflicts instead of beating. Most of the time, beating the child does not yield the desired outcome.
Look at the lady in question, she became further alienated from the family after the beating.
I used to beat my kids in the past for offences but i stopped doing that. The message it passes to my kids is me not having my emotions under control and i am teaching them to use violence to resolve conflict
When you discipline a child, you are trying to correct them and still show them love in the process.
At the end, we all want a peaceful outcome.

Yes, you make a point though

Even though the man is a bad person, the lady really fvckup. Her father was so disappointed as the only girl child being foolish and brainwashed so easy. I'm not a father yet but i know how it feels losing your only daughter to such deciet

JesusDWay:
It's simple...report the matter to the police or find some of these organizations who help people for free with situations like this, they will get the man into problem at least, even if your sister doesn't want to leave him. When he faces trouble and law court issues, he will be the one to send your sister back

NPTJ This is another amazing suggestion, probably by a father or a matured man. Please do take note of it

Franklyspeakin:
Hmm mm

Is that not truth

Spherical77:
NPTJ This is another amazing suggestion, probably by a father or a matured man. Please do take note of it

That is a delicate step to take remember they have been to police before this

Do u want the family name to be smear

Take time to analyze this matter well
Family can be involved in to this
His family and the order. Family to sit down and they will find a way forward

Spherical77:
I truly love your concern

Please would you borrow the Op as you claimed that they should look for means to borrow money?

How much can you spare or borrow the Op ?

Waiting for your response

Let the op get in touch so we can discuss repayment.

Neddyogu:
Let the op get in touch so we can discuss repayment.

Thanks bro, I don't loan money

NPTJ:
Thanks bro, I don't loan money

You meant to say 'borrow'.

Neddyogu:
You meant to say 'borrow'.

All the same sir

Op please you guys should look for your sister. That man is a very wicked man. How dare him treat someone's daughter in such manner isolating her from family and friends without any means of constantly reaching her

Your sister was a means to his ends need. Your sister was just too unfortunate to ever come in contact with the man. Your family should get their priority right and put a stop to the way the man is treating your sister like an outcast

Please you guys shouldn't relent

Spherical77:
Yes, you make a point though

Even though the man is a bad person, the lady really fvckup. Her father was so disappointed as the only girl child being foolish and brainwashed so easy. I'm not a father yet but i know how it feels losing your only daughter to such deciet

I don't like significant age gaps in a relationships. It could lead undue influence by the older party.
I wouldn't want to lose my daughter even while trying to disciple. If you spank a teenager or young adult, they will leave home at the first opportunity.
I have a teenage daughter and we talk as friends and confidants.
I will never spank at this point but have come up with different ways to discipline.
Kids will love and respect you more for that. I try to listen and understand the reason for her actions, i want her to grow up a bold and confident lady.
My dad always spanked and i detested him at some point unlike my mom who would always talk to me. I love and respected her and never wanted to offend.

NPTJ:
Thanks for your kind gesture ma. God will reward you bountifully

A friend who got mobilised for her NYSC around July this year said she paid 10k from Lagos to PH. I pressure coming will be within the same range also

20k will take me to and fro. Thanks and God bless

I have asked my son in the Lord to send you 25k.
5k to help with food.
Please quote or mention me when u receive it.

igbowoman:
I have asked my son in the Lord to send you 25k.
5k to help with food.
Please quote or mention me when u receive it.

May God almighty bless you ma

Though i've not gotten the money @Igbowoman

NPTJ:
Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!

if you knows the man family house then your problem is half solved. Pipe low for now go and hustle pretend as if nothing is going on take care of your parents when you arrived with enough bar then you can pay the fool a visit and treat him well.

But for now pipe low.

Danjikanbauchi:
if you knows the man family house then your problem is half solved. Pipe low for now go and hustle pretend as if nothing is going on take care of your parents when you arrived with enough bar then you can pay the fool a visit and treat him well.

But for now pipe low.

We only knows where he lives in PH, we don't know his exact family house in IMO state.

Thanks for the advice sir!

NPTJ:
May God almighty bless you ma

Though i've not gotten the money @Igbowoman

I pray you meet your sister well. .
Tell her that an Igbowoman you met on nairaland says that if her husband truly loves her he would honor her parents by marrying her properly like he would want his own sisters married.
When you are able please also help someone in need .
God bless you.
Travel mercies

NPTJ:
Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!

Is your sister above 18? Forget her, she has chosen her path. Dem no force am.
Forget all that crap of brideprice and face your hustle.

Mamayam:
Is your sister above 18? Forget her, she has chosen her path. Dem no force am.
Forget all that crap of brideprice and face your hustle.

What are you saying please? You referred to pride price as crap

Even if you don't believe in it, does that mean others don't? I'm still a young guy and single, I'd definitely pay my future wife pride price and other marital rite

Btw, they can't forget their only sister. The parents can't forget their only daughter

Besides, the Man needs to be taught some lesson of his life. Who does that nonsense and go Scot free? Never!

Their sister and daughter isn't an orphan. She has family. She didn't just fall from the sky

Someone birthed and raised her before he came to brainwashed and decieve the innocent girl. Taking advantage of her because she's from a poor home. They can never forget their sister, never! Wether they're rich or poor.

FYI, that man isn't married to the lady. The family has 101 percent right to withdraw their daughter and the grandchildren away from him. The family will gladly flaw him in law court

If not for anything, to prove to him how stupid he was. The family silence for over 13 years doesn't mean they're stupid. The man is a wicked man for not buying the poor girl a phone to communicate and also isolating her away from her family and friends

If people mean that man eh and chose to help Op, he'd be jailed. Trust me, he'd serve the jail he escaped from serving in Germany

igbowoman:
I pray you meet your sister well. .
Tell her that an Igbowoman you met on nairaland says that if her husband truly loves her he would honor her parents by marrying her properly like he would want his own sisters married.
When you are able please also help someone in need .
God bless you.
Travel mercies

Thanks for this ma'am. May God continue to replenish your pocket

I've discussed with my parents and brothers, we agreed to go coming weekend. Thanks!

VTJN:
What are you saying please? You referred to pride price as crap

Even if you don't believe in it, does that mean others don't? I'm still a young guy and single, I'd definitely pay my future wife pride price and other marital rite

Btw, they can't forget their only sister. The parents can't forget their only daughter

Besides, the Man needs to be taught some lesson of his life. Who does that nonsense and go Scot free? Never!

Their sister and daughter isn't an orphan. She has family. She didn't just fall from the sky

Someone birthed and raised her before he came to brainwashed and decieve the innocent girl. Taking advantage of her because she's from a poor home. They can never forget their sister, never! Wether they're rich or poor.

FYI, that man isn't married to the lady. The family has 101 percent right to withdraw their daughter and the grandchildren away from him. The family will gladly flaw him in law court

If not for anything, to prove to him how stupid he was. The family silence for over 13 years doesn't mean they're stupid. The man is a wicked man for not buying the poor girl a phone to communicate and also isolating her away from her family and friends

If people mean that man eh and chose to help Op, he'd be jailed. Trust me, he'd serve the jail he escaped from serving in Germany

Dude, you will lose in court if you drag the matter. so long as your sis is an adult I don't see how your parents have any say. Does she want to come back? Quit this marriage and only daughter bullshìt, it doesn't hold any water. MARRIAGE IS JUST A CONSTRUCT. No two consenting adults need any legal approval to stay together and have children.

Mamayam:
Dude, you will lose in court if you drag the matter. so long as your sis is an adult I don't see how your parents have any say. Does she want to come back? Quit this marriage and only daughter bullshìt, it doesn't hold any water. MARRIAGE IS JUST A CONSTRUCT. No two consenting adults need any legal approval to stay together and have children.

Guy you funny no be small. That deportee go hate him life if they enter the same trouser with am. Na that time you go know say e go tell them why he was deported after so many years

No sane person will ever support the man

od501:
Did you just say that? Chai...what's happening to this modern generation?!

You eloped with a man's daughter without paying a dime, and you are expecting an apology from the same man? The same victim.

I don't know about this family, but where I come from, that man will be considered dead should something happens to the girl in question.

The OP did not say he eloped with his sister.

The main fact is that the girl is no longer a kid. So his father has little or no influence over her lifestyle.

Despite arresting the guy and all the beating, she still married to him. Don't he knows that this silent treatment from her and her husband must come like. Why can't he initiate peace talk to pacify his daughter for beating her when she ilwas pregnant.

joyandfaith:
Lessons
1. Girls can't struggle financially in schools. It is better for them to learn some trade after secondary school. I mean girls from poor homes.
2. Girls need love and attention. If parents and male siblings refuse to show them love and affection, predators will get them.
3. Pregnancy. It is very wrong for parents to beat children of legal age for getting pregnancy. Such children need to be listened to.
4. Find her. Help her. Family members need themselves in difficult time. There are many ways to find lost sheep. There are many ways to help black sheep in a family. Love and disciple.

Can you imagine. Your only daughter whom you claimed to love gets pregnant and your first call of action was to beat her.

If it was Ned Nwoko's child, this same father would be praising his daughter .. Ada Daddy. ... "you have made me proud"

OP .. you reap what you sow. Your family was greedy, and now the tables have turned. Take your L in peace.

And just so you know, your sister has a mobile phone. Yes, she does

galantjoe:
The OP did not say he eloped with his sister.

The main fact is that the girl is no longer a kid. So his father has little or no influence over her lifestyle.

Despite arresting the guy and all the beating, she still married to him. Don't he knows that this silent treatment from her and her husband must come like. Why can't he initiate peace talk to pacify his daughter for beating her when she ilwas pregnant.

The OP said their father beat her for being stupid and brainwashed that the deportee man would take her to Obodo oyinbo. If i was in the man's shoe, I will do the same for being stupid

Elporo:
Can you imagine. Your only daughter whom you claimed to love gets pregnant and your first call of action was to beat her.

If it was Ned Nwoko's child, this same father would be praising his daughter .. Ada Daddy. ... "you have made me proud"

OP .. you reap what you sow. Your family was greedy, and now the tables have turned. Take your L in peace.

And just so you know, your sister has a mobile phone. Yes, she does

Everything You put up there is nothing but nonesense. Everyone's wants the best in life. Biko where is the greediness in the family that a deportee got their only daughter pregnant? You better go borrow sense since you don't have one. Were you blind when the Op said she got spanked when she was saying the man would take her to abroad. Her father knows the man was a fool and pathetic lier. Her father's know if he truly loves her he'd come home to ask her hand in marriage and not impregnating her. He's matured man, the girl is just a young girl. He supposed to have known what is right and wrong. But the wickedness in him wouldn't allow that. No wonder he was deported with nothing. I'm sure he must have committed a crime over there. A man who is ready to start a family would meet with his supposed in-law to be and finalized everything. That is how responsible men does. Someone who spent his lifetime in a foreign land and was deported back with nothing. Did you care to know the crime he committed over there? Hope you know if that man wasn't deported and he willingly came over to find a wife. He will never settle down with Op sister? Anybody supporting this useless man and blaming Op family is directly or indirectly living the same life with that deportee man.

Btw, how did you come to your conclusion that all girls and family would accept Ned as husband and in-law? For the fact that your sister and family can accept him doesn't confer that all girls and family would accept him.

Elporo:
Can you imagine. Your only daughter whom you claimed to love gets pregnant and your first call of action was to beat her.

If it was Ned Nwoko's child, this same father would be praising his daughter .. Ada Daddy. ... "you have made me proud"

OP .. you reap what you sow. Your family was greedy, and now the tables have turned. Take your L in peace.

And just so you know, your sister has a mobile phone. Yes, she does

Guy did you read where Op said their late uncle get her a phone when she was still in Lagos?

If the man was responsible, would he watch while the girl uncle buy her common phone?Are you telling me he doesn't have the money to buy his wife ordinary phone? Abeg make una try to dey talk truth small small abeg and always put yourself in one's shoe. If it were your only sister would you say this? Haba! That man is a bad man simple

Elporo:
Can you imagine. Your only daughter whom you claimed to love gets pregnant and your first call of action was to beat her.

If it was Ned Nwoko's child, this same father would be praising his daughter .. Ada Daddy. ... "you have made me proud"

OP .. you reap what you sow. Your family was greedy, and now the tables have turned. Take your L in peace.

And just so you know, your sister has a mobile phone. Yes, she does

She has no phone of her own. She has been without phone back in Lagos. Not until an uncle got her a phone

The last time my dad talked to her through her husband's phone she did claimed she had a sim card but had no phone. The phone they bought for her got spoilt

Anyway, you are entitled to your opinion though