Your sister is comfortable with not wanting to have anything to do with you people again where ever she is, y'all shouldn't blame the innocent guy.....i have experienced this same issue too.... The problem started when your parents arrested the man who will later become the father of their grandchild and also beat up your sister mercilessly like u said. Did the guy raped your sister? Your parents went too far...now they facing the consequence. Igbo people with their obsession with a girl child all because of huge bride price. Greedy people

Tushmanny123:
Your sister is comfortable with not wanting to have anything to do with you people again where ever she is, y'all shouldn't blame the innocent guy.....i have experienced this same issue too.... The problem started when your parents arrested the man who will later become the father of their grandchild and also beat up your sister mercilessly like u said. Did the guy raped your sister? Your parents went too far...now they facing the consequence. Igbo people with their obsession with a girl child all because of huge bride price. Greedy people

And you are very sure you read the Op message before putting tribe into it?

U guys disapproved of her choice, disrespected her, beat her and her boyfriend up and u expect her to come running with open arms? The girl moved from a region of low love concentration to a region of high love concentration. Osmotic baby.

Just show ur sister some love, saying u can't find tfare to Portharcout is absurd. Are u in kafanchan? Visit her, and in time, she'll warm to u guys again but it ain't gonn be automatic. Issa gradual process. People always respond to love. Win her over with love.

Your sister sef. Na wa for her.

As much as the guy is to be blamed, she's to be blamed too. Some people sha. Dem go dey say dey love whereas na stupidity dey do them.

That being said, I think your sister is trapped. I mean she's got no money, no phone nor anything to reach out. She's trapped under the guy due to the fact that she can only depend him. She shouldn't have eloped with him to a far place in the first place. That's why I said some people are stupid!

Mendy101:
She got pregnant, you beat her and arrested the man, I am sure you beat him up first and humiliated him and I am sure he suffered in jail,

Finally your sister is with him, if it’s you will you want to associate with the family?

You still want to go and beat him up again, I laugh, you guys are not even ready.

See everything for life no be gragra

You dey talk crap. He paid her bride price? Who gave him woman in the first place? He stole that girl and worse, he doesn't allow her to see her family. His fvck needs to be treated up Tbh. The girl is stupid too.

Hmmm..!

He has not paid anything...

If na me be her brother n'na mhennn I no go free that bro ooo to be honest ehhh Nigeria pass the level wey man go over look another man doing rubbish to ya family ooo....

Iyaebe:
I can only speak for my church

African problem.

DOptical:


You dey talk crap. He paid her bride price? Who gave him woman in the first place? He stole that girl and worse, he doesn't allow her to see her family. His fvck needs to be treated up Tbh. The girl is stupid too.

Ok o, all the best

Franklyspeakin:
My own sef is the angle u are coming from. Are u sure its not financial gains you people want from your sis?? Because a right thinking family would have been more interested in knowing if she is fine... That is pay a visit to see her, talk to ker and know if she is OK then probably remind her that her parents are worried about her. Which one is her presence is greatly needed?? Do you even know if your sister is still alive?? When last did you see her with your eyes?? See talk ooo. Go and check on her abeg. It could even be shame thats stopping her from coming back. Shame of you guys laughing at her. Go and show love to her before you start giving her responsibilities.




A family that can't find money to go and see their sister/daughter to be certain she is fine, to know if she is alive, to know if she is sane, but is more interested in her being present most definitely to pick up some responsibilities or to help look after the aged parents who killed her dreams and still didnt show her love when she needed it the most says a lot to buttress my point. See because a man is a deportee dosent mean he wont be able to stand on his feet and cater for his family. afterall they have been surviving all this years. Even the man knows he has un serious inlaws so he can take them for granted. Imagine if the girls family where more involved and concerned with their number one priority being the well being of their daughter, they won't have been complaining of losing their daughter.The annoying part is the dad is still ashamed of her and is yet to come to terms with reality as he continues to lie about the well being of his daughter. How will he make heaven sef If he dies and does he think his village people don't already know something is up as to no bride price collected yet she is married.?
My brother Hustle oooo make them no use you or your family do yeye

You try

Just to tell them say make them hustle


But is it right to kidnapped this girl hold her as captive

If na my Islamabad people your response will change ooooo

Neddyogu:
U guys disapproved of her choice, disrespected her, beat her and her boyfriend up and u expect her to come running with open arms? The girl moved from a region of low love concentration to a region of high love concentration. Osmotic baby.

Just show ur sister some love, saying u can't find tfare to Portharcout is absurd. Are u in kafanchan? Visit her, and in time, she'll warm to u guys again but it ain't gonn be automatic. Issa gradual process. People always respond to love. Win her over with love.

Which high region concentration please? A matured man at that the girl uncle was buying a common phone for and you called that high concentration of love

Besides, what is absurd in Op not having Tfair to and fro pourtharcourt? You talk as if you don't know what is happening in the country

Op needs nothing less than 20-25k for only him alone that will take him to pourtharcourt from Lagos (going and coming and miscellaneous)

Talkmore of 2 or 3 persons

Nothing is absurd there please

The man is a bad man and the girl is stupid

NPTJ:
Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!

I dont know what tribe you are but I say shame on that Igbo man.
He knows by Igbo culture it is a shameful thing to take a woman without a bride price and he is doing it.
I suspect your sister is being abused by this man hence the isolation from her family.
If you know where she is, take a trip down there to PH and find her to see her with your 2 eyes and talk with her.
If you need transport money to get down there,I will gladly help you

Blackdisciple:
Hmmm..!

He has not paid anything...

If na me be her brother n'na mhennn I no go free that bro ooo to be honest ehhh Nigeria pass the level wey man go over look another man doing rubbish to ya family ooo....

I swear if I'm in Op shoe I'd make sure the man land in coma

I go pieces all him bones and joint together as a detriment to other useless men out there i swear

DOptical:
Your sister sef. Na wa for her.

As much as the guy is to be blamed, she's to be blamed too. Some people sha. Dem go dey say dey love whereas na stupidity dey do them.

That being said, I think your sister is trapped. I mean she's got no money, no phone nor anything to reach out. She's trapped under the guy due to the fact that she can only depend him. She shouldn't have eloped with him to a far place in the first place. That's why I said some people are stupid!

Yes I'm not putting all the blame on her. I know she has her fault too

She deserves to be called even more than stupid

igbowoman:


I dont know what tribe you are but I say shame on that Igbo man.
He knows by Igbo culture it is a shameful thing to take a woman without a bride price and he is doing it.
I suspect your sister is being abused by this man hence the isolation from her family.
If you know where she is, take a trip down there to PH and find her to see her with your 2 eyes and talk with her.
If you need transport money to get down there,I will gladly help you

I'm a Yoruba while the man is an igbo man from Imo state

I would be grateful if you can support us with the transport fare. I and my elder brother will go see her and hopefully sleep over in the church before coming back to Lagos because i don't think my dad would want us to sleep under the man's roof for now

Thanks

NPTJ:
They were always informed about any family function. Not even to contribute money o. Just to show up and honour the invitation. He never did nor my sister. He always give excuse that he's broke but he always have money to attend his family functions. At times if my mum called him to speak with her daughter. He'd say he travelled home for this and that. Not until he arrived home before she can speak with her

Visit them.Apologise to the husband for past mistakes.Do anything and everything to be in their lives and win them over

NPTJ:
I'm a Yoruba while the man is an igbo man from Imo state

I would be grateful if you can support us with the transport fare. I and my elder brother will go see her and hopefully sleep over in the church before coming back to Lagos because i don't think my dad would want us to sleep under the man's roof for now

Thanks

How much will it cost for you to go to PH and return.
Good idea not to sleep in his house please.

NoToPile:


If you guys know the hometown do you know his family/ compound he comes from. If yes have you guys tried to at least contact some of his people?

We only know his home town. We don't know his compound

Yes we know some of his siblings, but they all based in the east

When my dad called him three days ago, he said he'd be travelling and he doesn't have money to buy his wife a small phone to keep in touch with her and her family

Spherical77:
Which high region concentration please? A matured man at that the girl uncle was buying a common phone for and you called that high concentration of love

Besides, what is absurd in Op not having Tfair to and fro pourtharcourt? You talk as if you don't know what is happening in the country

Op needs nothing less than 20-25k for only him alone that will take him to pourtharcourt from Lagos (going and coming and miscellaneous)

Talkmore of 2 or 3 persons

Nothing is absurd there please

The man is a ba d man and the girl is stupid

So even if it's 100k, u can't source it to look for ur own blood? If so, stop whining on social media. What do u want us to do? Create a GoFundMe account so u can at least visit ur sister? The girl maybe stupid but I don't believe transportation should be a problem if they're seriously looking to reunite with their own flesh and blood. U want reunion but are scared of monetary sacrifice? What kinda donkey talk is this?

Spherical77:
I swear if I'm in Op shoe I'd make sure the man land in coma

I go pieces all him bones and joint together as a detriment to other useless men out there i swear

So what would you now do to ur sister that was opening leg upandan? Una go jus open mouth waaaaaaaaaaaa. Oshey Hulk Hogan.

Neddyogu:


So even if it's 100k, u can't source it to look for ur own blood? If so, stop whining on social media. What do u want us to do? Create a GoFundMe account so u can at least visit ur sister? The girl maybe stupid but I don't believe transportation should be a problem if they're seriously looking to reunite with their own flesh and blood. U want reunion but are scared of monetary sacrifice? What kinda donkey talk is this?

Did you read the Op post before putting all these? Are you here to proffer solution or add to their plight?

Didn't you read where he said his brother is earning 50k monthly while him on the other hand is still looking for job as a fresh graduate?

Until you know and realised our fingers are not equal, then you will understand that there are people out there who hasn't eaten today

Please stop all these your ITK of a thing abeg.

Nothing is absurd if one found his/herself in a poor family bro.. They never demand for where to be born to.

Op was just a serious and dedicated average Nigerians who's finding all legal means to break the yoke of poverty

I'm sure you saw where he said he saw himself through school

Yes you are right on one side. But i tell you bro people have lost their loved ones through health related issues that ordinary 5k can solve

Things are happening in this country that i know

Op is even better than most of our today youths who are into cyber fraud and the likes

Neddyogu:


So even if it's 100k, u can't source it to look for ur own blood? If so, stop whining on social media. What do u want us to do? Create a GoFundMe account so u can at least visit ur sister? The girl maybe stupid but I don't believe transportation should be a problem if they're seriously looking to reunite with their own flesh and blood. U want reunion but are scared of monetary sacrifice? What kinda donkey talk is this?

Guy be calming down please. If you read the Op post you will know he's from a poor home and that's one of the advantage the man took from his sister

The education they are opportuned to have and the little exposure makes them realise what that man did was wrong. Being poor doesn't makes one stupid

The Op lost his eldest brother, meaning they are left with just 3 boys

The elder brother earn 50k monthly and he's supporting the family. The last born is in school while Op is hoping to secure a job

Please where do you expect them to get money that will take them to PH and come back that it won't affect the house?

Or you expect them to go and meet their family? Family who doesn't see them when they are suffering seeing themselves through school without any little support. Is it that family that would give them money for that?

Please change your mentality about life. Poor people abound in this country called Nigeria

NPTJ:
we may be poor but not entitled biggot. My parents never wanted her to marry the man. My dad even housed her for a year with her 2 kids then, and the man keeps coming and begging prophecing love to her here and there and she started crying and begging to go meet him. She knows we'd gladly accept her back if she chose to come back today. I felt that's one of the reason why the man took her to pourtharcourt having known my family conditions, it would take a toll on us before coming down there. None of my family members had accepted penny from him nor his wife. We weren't weird that way to be entitled. If he give us fine, we'd gladly accept it. But for us to demand, never

Y'all are wicked in your family. You can't dictate to your grown up sister who and who not to marry. To even think you kept her ostracized from her beloved even after two kids says a lot.

Spherical77:
That man is nothing but a wicked man. You illegally married someone only daughter without paying her bride price. He wasn't responsible to his inlaw. The worst of it all, he couldn't buy a phone for his so called wife to avoid being in touched with her family and friends

I wish you guys have the means to go in there and treat his goddam fvckup. What nonesense in this 21st century. She lost her brother and grandparents and she and her stupid husband didn't come. Things dey happen sha

I feel for you guys seriously

Did you read where the man kept begging up to a year to have the daughter's hand in marriage but the Father refused?

igbowoman:


How much will it cost for you to go to PH and return.
Good idea not to sleep in his house please.

May God bless you for this show of love ma/sir

NPTJ please respond to this, may God help your family and deliver your sister. Amen!

emmyN:


Did you read where the man kept begging up to a year to have the daughter's hand in marriage but the Father refused?

The Op never said the man is begging to come do the marital rite and pay her bride price. The Op never said his sister ever for once told them that the man wants to come and do the needful till date

Did you read where the Op said the man was telling his dad that the exorbitant school fees he's paying for his children is taking a toll on him? Meaning the man has the money to buy his so called wife phone but purposely chose not to buy it

The man is a wicked man no two ways about it. People buy phone for their maids and other domestic staffs not to talk of someone you claimed to have loved

The man took advantage of the poor girl perfectly considering the wide age gap again

The man is nothing but a wicked man

She got pregnant. Una beat her. Lock her man up.
Then the same una dey complain say she no dey flow or call una. I don't get it.

Anyways, no matter the age of a lady, once she gets pregnant, SHE AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES A WOMAN. the talk you guys should have instead talked to her is what would have at least put some send into her.
There is time for beating and time for talking.


Anyways, that being said, truth is, there is nothing you guys can do. Your parents messed up big time, it's now left for.you guys to do the mending of fences.

My advise,
Call them both to a small get together/family meeting. Apologise for wrongs done in the past. TRUST ME, THEY BOTH HABOUR GRIEVANCES AGAINST YOU ALL, ESPECIALLY THE MAN.

2. YOU ARE SAYING, THEY DIDNT CALL OR SHOW CONCERN DURING THE TRAGIC DEATHS IN THE FAMILY. ARE YOU GUYS ALSO BOTHERED ABOUT HOW THEY LIVE? HOE THEY FEED? THE BABY AND ALL. HAVE YOU GUYS SENT ANY MONEY FOR THEM OR THE BABY?

3. If indeed you guys want her back, swallow pride and beg them. If not, her children you neices and nephews will join the list of forgotten family members.

Wish you best of luck

NPTJ:
Yes I'm hopeful and looking forward to get something doing inorder to contribute and get her a phone

But sincerely, the man is responsible for all these

He's using a smart phone and his wife is using nothing. Not even a touch light phone

How do you know this? She has a phone. You just don't have her cell number and she doesn't want you to

igbowoman:


How much will it cost for you to go to PH and return.
Good idea not to sleep in his house please.

Thanks for your kind gesture ma. God will reward you bountifully

A friend who got mobilised for her NYSC around July this year said she paid 10k from Lagos to PH. I pressure coming will be within the same range also

20k will take me to and fro. Thanks and God bless

Spherical77:
The Op never said the man is begging to come do the marital rite and pay her bride price. The Op never said his sister ever for once told them that the man wants to come and do the needful till date

Did you read where the Op said the man was telling his dad that the exorbitant school fees he's paying for his children is taking a toll on him? Meaning the man has the money to buy his so called wife phone but purposely chose not to buy it

The man is a wicked man no two ways about it. People buy phone for their maids and other domestic staffs not to talk of someone you claimed to have loved

The man took advantage of the poor girl perfectly considering the wide age gap again

The man is nothing but a wicked man

Maybe you didn't follow up properly with the thread. The OP did say the Father rejected the man as a suitor even when he came begging and professing love for their daughter. Like he got her pregnant and didn't abscond; he came to see the family and they had him arrested. Who does that?

There is no evidence she doesn't have a phone as they have not seen her in a while. She may have one but doesn't want to have a personal contact with her family. She would rather they go through her husband.

nnamdiosu:
She got pregnant. Una beat her. Lock her man up.
Then the same una dey complain say she no dey flow or call una. I don't get it.

Anyways, no matter the age of a lady, once she gets pregnant, SHE AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES A WOMAN. the talk you guys should have instead talked to her is what would have at least put some send into her.
There is time for beating and time for talking.


Anyways, that being said, truth is, there is nothing you guys can do. Your parents messed up big time, it's now left for.you guys to do the mending of fences.

My advise,
Call them both to a small get together/family meeting. Apologise for wrongs done in the past. TRUST ME, THEY BOTH HABOUR GRIEVANCES AGAINST YOU ALL, ESPECIALLY THE MAN.

2. YOU ARE SAYING, THEY DIDNT CALL OR SHOW CONCERN DURING THE TRAGIC DEATHS IN THE FAMILY. ARE YOU GUYS ALSO BOTHERED ABOUT HOW THEY LIVE? HOE THEY FEED? THE BABY AND ALL. HAVE YOU GUYS SENT ANY MONEY FOR THEM OR THE BABY?

3. If indeed you guys want her back, swallow pride and beg them. If not, her children you neices and nephews will join the list of forgotten family members.

Wish you best of luck

When she was in Lagos my parents was very much close to her. My mum younger brother bought her a phone then.

She said the phone they bought for her got spoilt just a year after they moved to PH

They've spent 8 years in PH now and she has not been using a phone since then

Even though she was stupid, it's not possible for her to have a phone and purposely hide it away from us

Even the husband too confirmed it

NPTJ:
When she was in Lagos my parents was very much close to her. My mum younger brother bought her a phone then.

She said the phone they bought for her got spoilt just a year after they moved to PH

They've spent 8 years in PH now and she has not been using a phone since then

Even though she was stupid, it's not possible for her to have a phone and purposely hide it away from us

Even the husband too confirmed it

It's ok.
You guys should call for peaceful talks.
Like I said, I'm def sure they still HABOUR resentments somehow.

You guys have to let the past remain in the past.
Get her a phone or means to communicate. Send her money of possible for upkeep.
What has happened has happened.

Good luck bro