₦airaland Forum

ImaIma1:
We are talking practically, not what has been in the beginning. Sibling/family bond can't be broken. But my husband comes first, and I also come first before anyone.

A mother's love is priceless. But if it were enough, we would all stay and marry our mums. Yet, we leave to be joined to another.

When you see siblings causing problems in their brother's house and with his wife, most times it's because they are not financially settled. But when everyone is ok, they also focus on their homes.

cedricksly:
OK the part she said if na indomie she no go vex u no see am

Lastanza:
Let me tell you her gross. Non of those things you mentioned their is her reason for being angry.

Women have this feel or belief that kitchen is exclusively theirs. That is out of bound to even their husband. They will be craving for gender equality but feels bad Wen a man enters ''their'' kitchen to cook.

Nwachi22:
…..Come to think that this comment is coming from a female. Always making insensitive and agbero comments.
It’s not about the woman’s mentality. It’s about respecting boundaries. The OP should either respect boundaries or rent his own apartment.

N2B2:
Rubbish. The house (and probably the food items too) belong to the married brother and his wife.

The OP can go and get a place of his/her own, instead of stirring the pot in his married brother's home.

tollyboy5:
No ma. I really understand you but you're taking this issue this way because you're a woman also.
Siblings and mother will never cause problem until a wife is brought into the family and she believes she need space with her husband.
I'm a victim of this kind of family and always take side with my mum but now I'm older and I understand things better.
My wife is more priority to me agreed, including my children then others are next.
What I'm talking against is the superior power or right ladies feel over their husband which is wrong to me.
Being my major priority doesn't gives you a special authority over my mum or siblings.
It only gives you a special preference before my mum or siblings . just understand the difference .
If wives don't see it this way they'll have issues with in-laws.
Today my daddy's siblings are in their separate home. I do go to my aunties house and cook since there is always surplus food.
My other auntie is not rich but I'll sit in house and play with my small cousin till evening.
At times what siblings want is just to relate with their brother like they did from childhood but ladies finds it difficult to understand.

Ladies natural act classy in various part of their life, I don't understand them. For instance me and my primary sch friends still talk and relate despite not being in same sch for over 15years but someone like my elders sis only has friends they do big girl with.
I don't see her with primary sch mate. I'm going out of context a bit because I believe its the way ladies mind are structured from beginning .

PrimadonnaO:
It is wisdom to not overassume your rights, and your place in people's lives.

Your post suggests that you recently started living with them. You should have observed, and let the owners of the house directly or indirectly communicate to you how they want things in their home to be run.

As a rule, too, you should understand that most women are possessive of their kitchen. You shouldn't have made those assumptions that led you to cooking food in somebody's house without first seeking permission.

olabrinks:
it has nothing to do with respect but everything to do with oppressing outsiders that come to spend time in your house outside of your comfort. If your mother/siblings/close family or friends came to stay at your house, will those rules of “respecting boundaries” still apply? We both know the answer to that deep down. When in-laws come to the house, there’s this defence and shield that wives suddenly like to pull up, even when there’s no need. You’re actually doing more harm than good.

Leaforever:
Ladies have every right over their husband and their home. Dts how God made it " a husband shall leave his family and cleave to his wife". He is starting a new home. It can't be the same. Go and read about the proverbs 31 woman (the ideal wife). She is completely in charge of her home and runs it like a business. The Bible didn't say anything about siblings entering her kitchen or putting mouth in her marriage. It's Nigeria's poverty dts causing all these abnormalities. You have to respect a MARRIAGE.

okine4real:
when i read comments from guys, i just laugh.. We have lots of baby mind men this days. i would give certain examples.

First, its a poverty mentality that, my sister would want to cook in my house, when she is living with me and my wife would want her to take permission. Guys stop behaving like pussy, stop allowing pussy becloud your judgement. guy work hard, and provide for your home, then nobody would query your instrr go eat, i told her to half my soup so my brother could share, when she noticed i wanted by brother to eat the egusi soup, she decided to give my brother her own soup and made something else for herself. some other guys would just eat there own food and not care for his younger brother.

In Marriage, once your wife throw you lamba, if you know sharp, she go put you for her armpit. when i go to work, her family members comes to take food stuff, me i dont have family members that comes for food stuff, but if my brother pass one door to another, she go say the guy dey bang door, he won wake her pikin, but if her family bang door, nor case. i have mastered this game to some extent.

OP. There is nothing wrong when you cook in your brothers kitchen. The only problem is, if your brother nor get money and you dey short there ration. If it where your brothers wife family, would she feel bad? You see poverty has really dealth with us that it makes us think upside down.

LadeeE:
I can never go to my married sister's house to cook in her kitchen until I ask for her permission. Even if she asks me to feel free, I will still ask her whenever I want to do so.

Iyaebe:
Thank you jare,badge into my kitchen without my permission and I begin to feel you are peeping at my unclothedness. Well,there are instances where he doesn't need to take permission and that's if he's been living with her.

olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

pocohantas:
Ehhh. Come give me out of your stash na? No be detergent and bleach again? You must be a good cook, because men do not even remember they have kitchens. Let alone being territorial about it.

Sanchez01:


The stash are detergents and bleach o.

Well, I'm trying

tollyboy5:
Lol I'm not married yet but there are things I find difficult to understand.
1)While growing up me and my elder sis stand in the kitchen when my mum cooks. Anybody can cook, we share cooking. I only stopped now that I have other stuff to do.

2)The authority people belief ladies have over their husband house is strange to me. She has her fathers house and I have my fathers house. OK now I have my house and she lives with me, how does that makes it her house?
My daddy's house belongs to my dad since he's still alive. I use to try to tell my mum that how I see it. She's a mother and land lady I don't see my mum having superior authority in my dads house because she's his wife.
Me myself I don't see superior authority in my fathers property beyond my elder sis thats why I leave important decition to my sister.
3) my family is a big family and theyre fond of put many siblings together with anyone member of the family that is wellbeing .
My dad lived with his younger once b4 he got married and it became a problem to my mum after marriage.
[4) no matter the love for a wife I don't think she has superior authority in my home over my elder sis or mummy.
I'll would want my wife to fear my mummy and respect my sis like I always do.
Same also when it comes to her parents

signature2012:
You are a kid.
So from my write up you can deduce my marital status?
The way some of you reason hey!!!!!

If it was her own younger brother,do you think she will get mad?

Mariangeles:
How do you season your food?

Pataricatering:
abegi clear Road ' what is so sacred about a kitchen ? It's just a room in the house . You are taking like it's a place of worship ..
Na food dem dey cook there no be praise worship

olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

Annwrites:
What do you mean in your brother's house?

It's not his house. It belongs to both your brother and his wife.

Meanwhile, it would have been best if the wife communicated why she feels bad. I can think of so many reasons, but it's very hard to tell which for her.

It's her house, and should be able to communicate clearly even to her in-laws without mincing words. Like I always say, health relationships are built by healthy boundaries and of course, clear communications.

tollyboy5:
Your reply doesn't answer his question. My own elder sis will never do that to me.
My sis wey dey buy me cloth steady lol.
Na one year she take pass me.


But I won't go to her house to do that tho.

Mariangeles:
Since you've been living with them for several months, have you ever witnessed her male siblings have unrestricted access to the kitchen?

BigYash:
Maybe your own food sweet pass her own... You don fall her hand .