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Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by seanery: 11:27am On Nov 10, 2021
OGa..., go marry.
Leave ur brother house.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Nwachi22(f): 11:28am On Nov 10, 2021
olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

…..Come to think that this comment is coming from a female. Always making insensitive and agbero comments.
It’s not about the woman’s mentality. It’s about respecting boundaries. The OP should either respect boundaries or rent his own apartment.

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Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Pataricatering(f): 11:32am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Would she have done the same way to her male sibling ? I guess no and I’ve been living with them for several months
her male siblings would most likely treat her with more respect! You wrmt into her house with the mindset of " my brothers house " - its quite obvious there would be some issues with respect already ' if you come on here calling a house she co- owns with your brother " my brothers house " I can imagine the subliminal disregard you would be sending her way.
This is one of the many reasons women don't like their husbands family around them - it usually comes with disrespect and other issues ..

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Torosk1(m): 11:33am On Nov 10, 2021
Go and marry

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by shutupareyouGOD: 11:33am On Nov 10, 2021
Yes oh my dear…I’m reading comments and shocked it’s the guys that agree with the wife…:although I commend them because my husband feels the same way…but me I’m a modern woman…if u want to cook enter kicker and cook…sha cook my own join grin
olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by femi4: 11:34am On Nov 10, 2021
TheStakeHolder:
You've done nothing wrong.

When next you go there, without permission, locate their tubers of yam. Cook and make pounded yam. Locate their soup and enjoy your life. After all it's your brother's house.

Alainilakaye.

lipsrsealed
grin
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by cedricksly: 11:34am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls
Aunty you have not done anything wrong... It is obvious she feel threatened by your cooking in her own house, when you said she has no issue if you cook indomie... Lol
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Psalmistproject: 11:35am On Nov 10, 2021
greenie77:
Your brother's house is equally his wife's home. Just as your father's siblings had to respect boundaries (believing they did) when he started his own nuclear family, so should you.

When it comes to your brother's house, his nuclear family (wife and kids) rank up before you.

Is he dragging his brothers house with him? Just to eat what you want to eat not what she wants you to eat. She doesn't give a damn if he cooks indomie but okra soup, no! Why? She's just being stupidly emotional. If you ask her the reason, she can't explain.

Married women should learn to respect and accommodate their in-laws. The day you look for your husband and can't find him is the day you will know how important they are.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Nyanabo(m): 11:36am On Nov 10, 2021
You have no right whatsoever to enter into another woman's kitchen to prepare food for her family, when she didn't ask you and when you didn't take permission. She may be your brother's wife, it maybe you brother's house BUT it's her kitchen. Learn to respect people.

If you truly respect your brother, you wouldn't disrespect his wife. You are a visitor whatever they cook for you to eat that what you will eat.

It may not be your intention but what if your brother eats that food then the case of comparison has started. Pinch yourself before you pinch another.

What you tolerate don't expect another to tolerate because we are all different
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by femi4: 11:36am On Nov 10, 2021
olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.
Women and "My kitchen"... that's their office. You don't go there anyhow
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Acidosis(m): 11:36am On Nov 10, 2021
Elxandre:

What is wrong with Eba and Okra. No be food, same with Indomie?

Anyway, I don't support cohabiting with people at all sef, talk more of married couple.
Find house OP.

You mean you will go to the market, buy okro, meat, fish, and all the necessary condiments to make a pot of soup without informing the owners of the house? At least to know whether they're interested or have plans for a different meal?

Never seen this happen anywhere. What kind of hunger will make a grown man do this? Abeg abeg, some of you need to learn and understand boundaries. You can be familiar with someone (your brother, your mum, etc ) yet respect boundaries.

Self respect is key. Even if your life depends on that okro soup, a smart nigga will simply visit a nearby restaurant.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Pataricatering(f): 11:36am On Nov 10, 2021
jeff1607:
All shades of wrong, the KITCHEN is sacred to woman, if you want to use it ask the wife or stay in your house.
abegi clear Road ' what is so sacred about a kitchen ? It's just a room in the house . You are taking like it's a place of worship ..
Na food dem dey cook there no be praise worship

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by jornwhite: 11:38am On Nov 10, 2021
Vision101:
Someone here said that you trespassed. I hope you know the meaning. It's a tortuous act. It's punishable in law.... hahahaha.

The kitchen belongs to your brother's wife. You can only use it at her permission. I hate to open my wife's pot.



Since the kitchen fundamental belong to the woman, how come women don't go with the kitchen when thrown out. i am guessing anita okoye left with the kitchen in paul house or can you leave ur property behind

3 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by papagiddy(m): 11:39am On Nov 10, 2021
There may be many reasons why she was not happy that you cooked in her kitchen. .... 1. Its either you are dirty.. that is, you messd up d kitchen. 2.Or you wasted her items or burn up her gas.... 3. Or you cooked your own food alone........4. Or you indirectly insulted her ie. codely make her felt bad from your speeches or comment about her kitchen 5...or you just simply lack manners......... Abeg am sorry oo??
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by papagiddy(m): 11:40am On Nov 10, 2021
There may be many reasons why she was not happy that you cooked in her kitchen. .... 1. Its either you are dirty.. that is, you messd up d kitchen. 2.Or you wasted her items or burn up her gas.... 3. Or you cooked your own food alone........4. Or you indirectly insulted her ie. codely make her felt bad from your speeches or comment about her kitchen 5...or you just simply lack manners......... Abeg am sorry oo....
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Prisi12345(f): 11:40am On Nov 10, 2021
Hmmm
TheStakeHolder:
You've done nothing wrong.

When next you go there, without permission, locate their tubers of yam. Cook and make pounded yam. Locate their soup and enjoy your life. After all it's your brother's house.

Alainilakaye.

lipsrsealed
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Mariangeles(f): 11:40am On Nov 10, 2021
Truvelisback:
Maybe she is a poor cook that's why she wanted u to cook indomie only. Perhaps, u preparing a nice soup is a big threat to her and she don't want her husband(ur brother) to fall in love with ur meal and ignore hers.

Umuaka sef! cheesy
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by AsawanaDgreat: 11:41am On Nov 10, 2021
E no be bad thing, make you stay for your own house madam
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by cmecproblem(m): 11:41am On Nov 10, 2021
There's nothing wrong but Bros get small sense now. Simple diplomacy...ha aunty garri de hungry me o...one sweet soup I know how to cook, can I make it today? With smiles and laughs...even if she wants to be angry she can't. On the other hand she'll have the chance to say yes or no with this friendly approach.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Rebic(m): 11:44am On Nov 10, 2021
PrimadonnaO:
It is wisdom to not overassume your rights, and your place in people's lives.

Your post suggests that you recently started living with them. You should have observed, and let the owners of the house directly or indirectly communicate to you how they want things in their home to be run.

As a rule, too, you should understand that most women are possessive of their kitchen. You shouldn't have made those assumptions that led you to cooking food in somebody's house without first seeking permission.

It's just small okra and Eba fgs.

What would have happened if she had cooked and rice and fried chicken?

God forbid I end up with such woman as her SIL.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Mariangeles(f): 11:45am On Nov 10, 2021
seunny4lif:

When I don’t like maggi
Everyone knows that
Once I taste your food and boom maggi grin,
I will just run and that’s the reason I no dey eat outside that much

How do you season your food?
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Prisi12345(f): 11:48am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

It's very wrong to enter someone else's kitchen, be it your brothers house, you should have taken permission from her(wife) and also the food you cook should not have been for only you alone, you should have cooked for everyone. Even if it's my brother, I will want him to tell me first before doing Anything in my kitchen.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by ifiokjohn(m): 11:48am On Nov 10, 2021
Mercychen:


Gbam!

What he didn't state however was if it was with his money he bought the condiments he used in cooking the food or it was from the family pantry.

I can bet it was her own brother she wouldn't have reacted that way ... Women ehnnnnnm

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Bigpapi: 11:50am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls






This is the reason I hate women, see bro I swear if u be my friend once you marry I go quit our friendship
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by na2016: 11:54am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

Front page pls

You may need to take permission because you don't know if they are managing especially in this PMB hard times.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by HRSweetness(f): 11:54am On Nov 10, 2021
Kobojunkiee:
You cook okra soup for only yourself or for the entire household? undecided

Did you also purchase your own ingredients or did you use groceries already in the house to do this? undecided

Is your brother an extremely rich man or does his house also operate on a food budget like most homes do? undecided

And lastly, did you at least clean up after yourself or did you expect that his wife will clean up for you? undecided

The way I see it, there isn't nothing wrong with cooking even if in a friend's house. However, there could be everything wrong with how you do it. undecided

Very well said. Nothing to add to this.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by sosowater: 11:59am On Nov 10, 2021
This issue of "this is my kitchen", "you must take permission", etc has caused many problems in homes.

Who even said that the kitchen belongs to the woman?

I cook better than my siblings and my wife. They all look forward to eat what I prepared.

Now, when you see men that don't cook and always say they like fresh food, some wives and single ladies frown at that. But, hey, you said the kitchen belongs to you na so why are you saying away from cooking?

We make things complicated for ourselves by holding onto what doesn't have meaning.

This issue is simple.

There should be common rules (applicable to everyone in the family) with regards to usage of available foodstuffs and cleanliness of the kitchen after use.

There are wives that work 8-5pm and when they get back from work, they start cooking instead of resting. A brother in law or sister in law can simply help out if he or she knows how to cook to save her time.

They born wife and suffer? No.

There are in-laws and relatives that misuse things. All you need is to correct the person without your husband knowing. If it continues without any attempt to stop it, you can tell your husband.

As long as there is no mismanagement of foodstuffs and dirtiness in the kitchen after use, this shouldn't be an issue.

So if an inlaw wants to prepare tea, drink hot water or bath warm or hot water, he or she will go and take permission before entering? No, there's no problem with that one. It's only food that brings issue.

When I was staying with my brother, her niece do enter the kitchen to cook and eat anytime she wants bit I respected myself even though I do contribute. She (my brother's wife) do serve me food even in my room but later got tired. Most times, she will tell me to collect food whenever I'm hungry or ask me to cook whatever I want to eat if she's on fasting. When she prepares soup and I'm not around, she'll bring out mine and put the rest in the fridge. If I get home, she will simply tell me that my soup is in the pot or that I should take and reserve for my brother.

It was that simple.

Till this day, whenever I visit them and she's not around, I'll serve myself bearing in mind that the quantity I'll take should not affect the household.

Sometimes, I boil rice and everybody will eat (even as I'm with my own woman and staying on my own). That's because we had no issue with that. But this is just for me o. Nobody else from my side tries that, both man and woman.

The main thing is to build and maintain a healthy relationship with your sister in law.cos that's what causes most of these issues.

Some women don't even attach much importance to this kitchen stuff.

I can't remember the how many times my boss's wife entered kitchen to cook. The cooking is done mostly by her brother and her husband's nephew. Big woman.. she no even get time. Just tell her the things needed in the house and she'll buy them in full. There are over 5 people staying with them including drivers. Where she want get that strength to cook and dish for all?

Some women that are mean will quarrel with you no matter how close you guys are.

But some in-laws lack common sense. They misuse things too.

In all, it should not be an issue if there's no mismanagement or dirty environment after use.

And women should stop stereotyping themselves with kitchen matters.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by prigoz(m): 12:01pm On Nov 10, 2021
TheStakeHolder:
You've done nothing wrong.

When next you go there, without permission, locate their tubers of yam. Cook and make pounded yam. Locate their soup and enjoy your life. After all it's your brother's house.

Alainilakaye.
Instead of you to advise her to go and marry, so that her sister-in-law will enjoy her marriage, you are encouraging her to do more thereby bring more hatred to herself. Am sure you are not married

lipsrsealed
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by ImaIma1(f): 12:03pm On Nov 10, 2021
greenie77:
Your brother's house is equally his wife's home. Just as your father's siblings had to respect boundaries (believing they did) when he started his own nuclear family, so should you.

When it comes to your brother's house, his nuclear family (wife and kids) rank up before you.


Some boys on this forum won't like this your comment. Remember they don't see a wife as blood. Hence, their siblings rank higher.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by tollyboy5(m): 12:04pm On Nov 10, 2021
cococandy:

I agree.
But being on this forum has shown me that people actually do take their kitchens very very seriously so I’ve learned to try and not be biased about it. I guess?

I personally would want anyone staying with me to feel very free to cook and eat as they please.
If they are messy, then it’s a different issue.
Lol I'm not married yet but there are things I find difficult to understand.
1)While growing up me and my elder sis stand in the kitchen when my mum cooks. Anybody can cook, we share cooking. I only stopped now that I have other stuff to do.

2)The authority people belief ladies have over their husband house is strange to me. She has her fathers house and I have my fathers house. OK now I have my house and she lives with me, how does that makes it her house?
My daddy's house belongs to my dad since he's still alive. I use to try to tell my mum that how I see it. She's a mother and land lady I don't see my mum having superior authority in my dads house because she's his wife.
Me myself I don't see superior authority in my fathers property beyond my elder sis thats why I leave important decition to my sister.
3) my family is a big family and theyre fond of put many siblings together with anyone member of the family that is wellbeing .
My dad lived with his younger once b4 he got married and it became a problem to my mum after marriage.
4) no matter the love for a wife I don't think she has superior authority in my home over my elder sis or mummy.
I'll would want my wife to fear my mummy and respect my sis like I always do.
Same also when it comes to her parents

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by jeff1607(m): 12:04pm On Nov 10, 2021
Pataricatering:
abegi clear Road ' what is so sacred about a kitchen ? It's just a room in the house . You are taking like it's a place of worship ..
Na food dem dey cook there no be praise worship

Let’s see how you react to this

You cook and someone comes n opens the to check the contents , would you let it slide or caution the individual?
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by tollyboy5(m): 12:08pm On Nov 10, 2021
ImaIma1:


Some boys on this forum won't like this your comment. Remember they don't see a wife as blood. Hence, their siblings rank higher.
Siblings don't rank higher but wife is not blood. Let's face reality, wife might change but blood remains blood forever.
Blood don't need to make better for worst oath . we all know blood naturally comes with love

1 Like

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