mrbenjame:
If you understand what I mean. Not all Nigerians oppress their wives. Please get it.

Sure, but if a "Nigerian" marriage is what you want, you are best staying in Nigeria to get that.

The law and even society abroad makes a "Nigerian" marriage so many times harder to achieve out here than down there in Nigeria.

Kobojunkie:
Sure, but if a "Nigerian" marriage is what you want, you are best staying in Nigeria to get that.

I get you. But Nawa o. Nobody gets it all they say!

greenie77:
There is always an option of marrying a woman you met where you migrated to and readjust your mind to accept the reality that your marriage will more likely be along the culture obtainable there. At least, it would eliminate the man feeling he did a Nigerian wife a favour by bringing her over to his base. Marry who you met there, less surprises

I remember the stories of Lagos husbands of the 60s and 70s, where men who were based in Lagos would go to their villages and marry, leave the wife in the village with his mother to be giving birth, assisting with domestic chores and farm work. That taking her to Lagos will "spoil" her

Back in Lagos, after work he goes to then famous Caban Bamboo nightclub along Ikorodu Road to drink and shake waist with ladies that have already spoilt!

The last part cracked me up! Hehehehehe

mrbenjame:
I get you. But Nawa o. Nobody gets it all they say!

The law and even society abroad makes a "Nigerian" marriage so many times harder to achieve out here than down there in Nigeria.

The reason why a "Nigerian" marriage works the way it does in Nigeria is because society condones and allows it to thrive as it does down there. Out here, society moves as a pace that all but forces individuals to try to catch up in order to keep up. And so anything that doesn’t fit with the culture of society is quickly put under enormous stress to adapt/evolve or break.

Oh please,

You Nigerian men whine too much.

Marry the ones there, una no gree.
Marry foreigners, another wahala.
Come back home and marry, wailing.

What exactly is happening in a marriage abroad that doesn’t happen here? Or you are afraid you can’t batter her, cheat and pursue her from the home you both built?

Anything you see Naija men complaining of, just know their wickedness has been checked.

The ones with clear conscience and good character might have their fears, but they don’t go on and on about it like this.

The way you guys complain of Naija women, one would think your relationships with foreigners last for long. Abi how many old Nigerian men have you seen with foreign wives? All you’ll be hearing is, I dated one Kenyan, Spanish, Polish, British, Finnish… Why you no marry am?

Just hope for a good partner. Love, respect, forgive and communicate. Even on Mars, you guys would weather the storm.

.

DON'T DO IT! DON'T ROLL THE DICE!

Hmm

Am coming lemme look for what to comment...

mrbenjame:
Please I need an honest opinion. I’m not saying there’re no good women. But the rate at which women who marry their abroad hubbys and thereafter go to join them overseas and start misbehaving gets me very worried and sometimes afraid. The question is

1. How often does this happen?
2. Should a guy go on to take his chances?
3. Should he marry someone already abroad?
4. Should he settle entirely with another Nationality totally?

Guys make una input o make we know where we Dey.

If a woman would be terrible, she would be in the cloud or earth.......... Marriage is always a gamble.......

Define "misbehave"

When you guys marry white women, you cook, clean, care for kids and still work and pay bills.
But when you take an African woman who has been marginalised all her life abroad and she realises that women are respected over there and demands more, is that "misbehave"?
You want amaka to go abroad and be spoiling her lovely nails cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner 3 times a day, 7 days a week?
Or you want Abisola who's barely getting any dicking from you, to be praying and fasting and not to go outside and look for some, LIKE YOU DO? You think it's like Nigeria where you can shame her into submission?

For most of you abroadians, we already know you prefer to keep a woman in Nigeria where your family can press her neck if need be.
The day chiamaka comes to obodo oyibo will be the death of your fragile ego.

Fight go soon start here

At your own risk

It's should be your decision and yours alone...

I came to the States with my siblings... Non of us are making any plan to bring any lady or guys here...

I'm dating a caucasian
My other siblings are dating African Americans

Same topic, same baseless abuse everyday just to give men different ways to say the same thing many times in one day. It's obvious that men are always thinking about women--obsessed with them. The so called red pill has killed off too many male braincells that threads like this are the norm. This is the new manhood. And it's gotten so stale so fast.

We already know you think all women are a trap set to destroy you. And it's what you expect you will get.

Next!

Klass99:
I think Nairaland is affecting too many people in the real world and informing the choices they make, based on the toxic negativity often displayed here. Do what feels right to you at the end of the day, irrespective of people's views/opinions.

This is a sound opinion. I have learnt a lot that people do not express good news in public as much as negative news. This often makes the bad news to shadow good news as if nothing positive is happening in this world.

Time to explore outside the border... Then we can decide

mrbenjame:
Please I need an honest opinion. I’m not saying there’re no good women. But the rate at which women who marry their abroad hubbys and thereafter go to join them overseas and start misbehaving gets me very worried and sometimes afraid. The question is

1. How often does this happen?
2. Should a guy go on to take his chances?
3. Should he marry someone already abroad?
4. Should he settle entirely with another Nationality totally?

Guys make una input o make we know where we Dey.

The only type of gal u can take abroad and have no regrets is the well exposed gal that’s still remains humble or respectful.

2 A gal that’s gone through thick and thin with u and was still responsible and respectful.

3. A gals that already stays over there or frequently travels and yet has the attitude u like.

Don’t take any gals that hasn’t been tried and tested and she passed abroad or else the freedom and rights there will make her loose her senses.

Don’t take a gal that’s with u for the money abroad. It will end in premium tears when she makes more than u or has the power to take Everything u have from u.

Don’t take a gal that feels oppressed by guys or roles of guys.

Do not take an unexposed gal that ur mother chooses for u claiming she knows her character abroad. It will end in premium tears.

Don’t take a gal that is only submissive because she is dependent on u. When she gains independence u will be her 1st rival rather than ally or confidant.

Many guys don’t know why a woman is with them or they know and yet choose to be stupid.

mrbenjame:
Please I need an honest opinion. I’m not saying there’re no good women. But the rate at which women who marry their abroad hubbys and thereafter go to join them overseas and start misbehaving gets me very worried and sometimes afraid. The question is

1. How often does this happen?
2. Should a guy go on to take his chances?
3. Should he marry someone already abroad?
4. Should he settle entirely with another Nationality totally?

Guys make una input o make we know where we Dey.

Its true it happens sometimes...bt that should not affect ur decision in marrying a Nigerian woman.Not all women are same...some stay humble no matter wat

JovialJune:



If you want the Nigerian kind of marriage, don't travel abroad when married, stay here with your wife

If you strong headedly decide to marry then travel abroad leaving her here, accept the fact that as you're cheating on her, she's also cheating on you

You can't have a Nigerian kind of marriage abroad where the system and laws is fair to all and sundry, a system that does not recognise the machoistic, ego driven, head of the family, respect-submissive type of mentality you are used to here, equality is their watchword over there, no gender is above the other.

Hmmmm.. nonsense suggestion as if some others are nt working too

Some of you are very bad decision makers, that's why you think a woman you asked to marry you, who you promised to defend and "feed", a help mate, your second in command, suddenly leave her back home because you are scared she would turn against you.

If you have this mentality then your decision as a man is faulty. You married a "bad" woman because you are devoid of knowledge and sound judgement.

The moment I see/date/court a woman, I can tell (to an extent) what she can and won't do.

Any lady who I willingly take to the altar will be left behind because I'm scared of her turning against me if the opportunity presents itself to travel abroad. If while dating, I see that she can't be trusted, then why marry her?

Same thing goes for other areas of my life. Learn to screen people and sieve the wheat from the chaff.

PLEASE Don't bring her to the US yet.
Not even TEXAS.
TEXAS has got the highest number of divorcee Nigerian Ladies who are hell bent on making sure no other marriage sees the light of the day.

Klass99:
I think Nairaland is affecting too many people in the real world and informing the choices they make, based on the toxic negativity often displayed here. Do what feels right to you at the end of the day, irrespective of people's views/opinions.

Hhmm, Na so.

mrbenjame:

Very valid point I must say

If you like take every and anyhow suggestion here... Ask yourself.. ' Are some couples not having a worthy marriage over there? Just be wise and careful to make out what you want for yourself... Everyone's case shldnt and wont be same... Why can't yours be good or better than others??

Klass99:


Seven blessings to you, I enjoyed reading your post and this part in particular resonated well with me. I am copying this for continuous/future reference.

Thanks for the compliment

In life always ask yourself what is the worst case scenario? Once you can answer this confidently, just prepare for it. Whether you marry Amaka from the village and bring her abroad or you marry Vivian that is already abroad, women have one thing in common, they can do and undo. Forget years of love, forget all the lao lao you've done for her, once a trigger is set in a woman, my guy forget about it!

The question is simple, will you be one of those guys that falls apart just because something went wrong or will you be a real nigga and rise above it? Don't let fear cause you to miss out on your soulmate, don't let fear engulf you with so much negativity that you automatically make every woman you meet an investigative case. It is okay to trust but only after you've made yourself comfortable with the reality of asking WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?

If you're not comfortable with the answer then you're not ready for marriage, for marriage itself is making yourself vulnerable and trusting that the vulnerability would not be used against you. If it is eventually used against you, trusting that you've prepared for it and you are able to accept this is just a reality of life, for all is fair in love and war my nigga!

Me I will be taking my wife and kids by January, I just have to do it for the kids

Klass99:
I think Nairaland is affecting too many people in the real world and informing the choices they make, based on the toxic negativity often displayed here. Do what feels right to you at the end of the day, irrespective of people's views/opinions.

Exactly

Mariangeles:


If you give her peace of mind, she's most likely to give you peace of mind, whether in Nigeria or abroad.

Not true at all

abobote:
Me I will be taking my wife and kids by January, I just have to do it for the kids

No o. Leave her na. Let the people telling you to leave your wife enter set.

mrbenjame:


Women are in trouble o.

Not at all.. He is the one in trouble cos only God knows the pains that is in heart obviously caused by a lady.. He needs serious healing...

Marry and let her remain with your parents for a year to study her true color before moving her abroad.That is the Top secrete.
Another way is seek legal advise. There are ways to go aboit about it in order not to be in her captivity in future.
You can as well do it the CR7 way ... Baby mama