₦airaland Forum

)1 seek God first

2) know your partner very well

3) I wish you best of luck

MufasaLion:
They tend to adopt their culture there which is normal, but most of them take advantage of the freedom and power to "punish" the husband. It's better to just marry a western woman that's used to her culture and see it as normal, than marry a Nigerian lady that's gonna see it as luxury and avenue to do all sorts of damage.

The problem is that many men dont want to marry foreigners. They want to remain "local" in and out

We dey observe sha, we no follow you drag am.

wunmi590:


Some of our men with this their shallow mentality, I guess Nigerian men should stop thinking all Nigerian women are gold diggers...

If I have the chance which I'm currently working on, I will take my wife along, infact, I can't travel out for long without letting my wife be beside me...

No be every nigerian woman bad

Please dont do it.That shit wrecked my life

grandstar:
The problem is that many men dont want to marry foreigners. They want to remain "local" in and out

The problem is that many foreigners aren't as interested in marrying Nigerian men as Nigerian men are interested in marrying them, as we would like to think.

MufasaLion:
Fvck you, slave. Keep barking! Slaves are kept for that sometimes.

The difference between a slave and a coonis a slave was forced into slavery. The coon voluntarily becomes a yes man, tap dancing to white massa. Keep dancing coon

mrbenjame:
Please I need an honest opinion. I’m not saying there’re no good women. But the rate at which women who marry their abroad hubbys and thereafter go to join them overseas and start misbehaving gets me very worried and sometimes afraid. The question is

1. How often does this happen?
2. Should a guy go on to take his chances?
3. Should he marry someone already abroad?
4. Should he settle entirely with another Nationality totally?

Guys make una input o make we know where we Dey.

Life no balance at all
https://gist.am/question/marrying-and-taking-her-abroad-a-regret

Na person wey go carry me go abroad na him I dey find o,I promise to remain loyal as per gentle girl wey I be

Klass99:
I think Nairaland is affecting too many people in the real world and informing the choices they make, based on the toxic negativity often displayed here. Do what feels right to you at the end of the day, irrespective of people's views/opinions.

But many women naturally want to take advantage of men.

BRATISLAVA:
The problem is that many foreigners aren't as interested in marrying Nigerian men as Nigerian men are interested in marrying them, as we would like to think.

Why will simeone with a username BRATISLAVA reply when my sister-in-law is Slovak?

Anyways, youre very correct. Some Black americans think Africans in general are malnourished. A Black woman called her exhusband who was Nigerian "ghetto" . The guy left her because she kept having miscarriages. Now, that's ghetto. Bush man! Sadly, the way she used the word ghetto extends to all Nigerians in general

pocohantas:
What is wrong in cooking for your family? Forgive me, I find arguments like this mundane and irrelevant. Sadly it is what has become the order of the day when marriage is discussed. It shows there is something wrong with us as a people. Both male and female.

You were cooking in Nigeria, suddenly cooking is below you because you are abroad? There are bound to be issues.

Ordinarily, both parties should be helping each other. Domestically and financially, but when one person thinks chores are below him or assisting financially would make her a mumu, wahala done dey. Nigerians play too many mind games and relationships with them wears someone like me out.

You might not cook 7 days a week, but I believe a good husband, be it in Nigeria or Cambodia, should know when his wife has done her best and deserves some rest. On such days she should get her rest.

If her husband is not dicking her and he is making no effort to improve, she can leave the marriage with her dignity and value intact.

No adult abroad has time to even sit and eat three times a day. There are more pressing issues and Nigerian men and women should begin to upgrade their OS. We are too backward in our issues.

You see why I dey fall in love with you bá?

Simpson!

wunmi590:


Some of our men with this their shallow mentality, I guess Nigerian men should stop thinking all Nigerian women are gold diggers...

If I have the chance which I'm currently working on, I will take my wife along, infact, I can't travel out for long without letting my wife be beside me...

No be every nigerian woman bad

OvertheTop:
HOPE is not Good Enough in this context .
If One Make a Mistake in Marriage, It can Ruin One Life Completely....

Imagine Being Thrown out of your Home U are Paying Mortgage for.

Where would you Start From?

You start from somewhere

BRATISLAVA:
The problem is that many foreigners aren't as interested in marrying Nigerian men as Nigerian men are interested in marrying them, as we would like to think.

This is true!

kaziblake:
And the men nko?
Bad people dey both gender Biko

of course. I'm not disputing that. What I'm saying is women have shown times without number that they're incapable of reciprocating love shown to them.

Atleast statistics have shown women cheat more than men In Nigeria: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pulse.ng/lifestyle/relationships-weddings/facts-stats-that-show-that-women-cheat-more-than-men/8ey0q67.amp

https://www.channelstv.com/2012/07/16/nigerian-women-are-most-unfaithful-in-the-world-durex/

So with this taking a wife abroad might not be wise, especially if and when she has shown signs of not being grateful and appreciative.

Spot On!

socialmediaman:
Many people in Nigeria are desperate at the moment and they’re not on the same page as you wanting to settle down and grow a family. Moreover, being on the same page to settle down doesn’t still mean it’s you they want to settle down with, but due to desperation they will get married to travel abroad and change their lives.

Talking about marriage, you see, many marriages may survive in Nigeria but they can’t survive abroad because there is more freedom and more options for independence there compared to Nigeria.

How often do serious problems happen with marriages abroad? I don’t know. There is really no data out there on how often this happens, but some speculations allege up to 50% divorce rate among Nigerians abroad. If this were true, It means, 5 out of 10 marriages between Nigerians end in divorce. But I suspect the rate of divorce is much lower. On the contrary, divorce rate in Nigeria is about 1% or less, for obvious reasons, some of them mentioned here

Should a guy go on to take his chances? You see, before you take your chances, you should know why marriages among Nigerians abroad fail. Like I mentioned earlier, many marriages in Nigeria will not survive abroad. Why? Because there is domestic violence involved, financial issues which accounts for one of the biggest reasons for divorce, incompatibility, both spouses are not on the same page in their lives (for e.g. wife wants to school first before kids but husband wants kids immediately etc), core values do not align, among others.

These marriages survive in Nigeria because of the economy, the society and community, the culture, the people etc, but abroad, these marriages will fail because there is more freedom, more options to choose from, more equal opportunity and a different lifestyle and culture. For instance, at 30s, ladies abroad consider themselves young and may be focused on their careers first before settling down, so it’s easy to sync into that if you’re a Nigerian. But in Nigeria, ladies in their mid to late 20s are already getting worried about not settling down

Should he settle with another nationality?
Everyone’s choice and needs are different. There are Nigerians living in Nigeria who are married to Ghanaians, Cameroonians, even Asians, Americans etc. It depends on what matters to you and who you meet. Some women abroad are ready and willing to learn your culture including language, food and lifestyle, while others are not interested. Think about what matters to you and look for a woman whose values also align with yours

The most important ingredient for a successful marriage is how much your values align with each other. Do you both value companionship and want to be best of friends? Do you both value communication and transparency? Do you both value respect? Are you both committed to making a relationship work? Are you both on the same page with what you want in marriage? These are very important questions you need to answer with your partner. For instance, if you value trust very much but find a partner who lies too much, your marriage is already having challenges before even getting started

Affection, romantic connection, even culture similarities are not enough to sustain a marriage. As you can see, people from same ethnic groups also divorce each other. If your values don’t align, you don’t know each other, and other things come to play like infidelity, my brother, your marriage will not survive abroad. Be careful. Know what matters and who you make long term commitments to.

Prince001:
Cos according to research Nigeria women are not in 1 to 10 of countries in Africa where one can get good wife but we men are at no 7 in Africa. That research speaks volume oooo.
However, there are still good ladies in Naija but they are not much due to economy and bad governance!!!!!!!

Check these video out:
[center]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPoXBbigVeo[/center]

[center]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBXZz_XbKmU[/center]

According to a random YouTuber's research?

BRATISLAVA:
LMAO.

Cheating has made all of them hulk out on the forum, chanting their usual chants. Yet they don't really care. O Kay.

Only in his dreams. Lol

sharpwriter:
You see why I dey fall in love with you bá?

Because I dey type wetin you like. I can see it na.

eduj:
meet a lawyer in both countries, sign a pre nuptial agreement with her (make sure she understands what she is signing) . Then marry and take her outside.

yes many women betray there men once the move outside -especially to Europe and America. I have seen a man denied access to his kids and forced back home to begin afresh.

I have also seen a man go strong with the wife once they moved to the USA (even though she earns more than him).

But a pre nuptial will save you from loosing your investments if not your heart

Thanks. I’ve been longing to remember this pre nuptial. Na only say e no dey rampant that’s why I couldn’t get hold of The pronounciation. This will work though.

Legendrysailor:
A

B

pocohantas:
Only in his dreams. Lol



Because I dey type wetin you like. I can see it na.

Hahaha ha..... Not really, it's that you ain't biased.

catice:
Sincerely there are lot of them. My friend was going nut after his episodes. All he could say is "I was the one who suggested that we move to America". Very few Nigerian ladies will genuinely love you. Most are opportunists, selfish and greedy lots. They will Spoil your life for this abroad. In addendum: Bunch of Nigerian men are piece of sh#t. They are solely responsible for how these women treat them. Cheating & Financial are the main cause of problems!

What aspect of financial are you talking about?

Chicky34:
I swear he's very right, it's happening to my brother inlaw right now in the USA, she even broke her own head and called the popo, they arrested and he was in jail for almost 2 weeks and now he hasn't even seen his children for more than 5 years, DO NOT THREAD THAT PATH MAN, BE WARY

Not seen children in 5 years? no be life be dat abeg

Best comment

Klass99:
I think Nairaland is affecting too many people in the real world and informing the choices they make, based on the toxic negativity often displayed here. Do what feels right to you at the end of the day, irrespective of people's views/opinions.

Modified to add: Why are people quoting me upandan like this nah? You people have left the OP's matter and question, to tackle me, I be football? .

I kukuma no get energy to answer anybody tonight, so good night. Don't quench over a stranger's harmless comment, some are not even making sense with their mentions.

JovialJune:
1) If you want the Nigerian kind of marriage, don't travel abroad when married, stay here with your wife

2) If you strong headedly decide to marry then travel abroad leaving her here, accept the fact that as you're cheating on her, she's also cheating on you

3) You can't have a Nigerian kind of marriage abroad where the system and laws is fair to all and sundry, a system that does not recognise the machoistic, ego driven, head of the family, respect-submissive type of mentality you are used to here, equality is their watchword over there, no gender is above the other.

So funny

MISSCONGENIALITY:
You are not getting it. Anyway, if you know you can't treat your wife the way you would love to be treated? Don't marry. Whether here or anywhere. Because if she treats you right and you treat her like shit, one dey your cup go full. And remember abroad is not Nigeria where the women might just be crying and begging you but even a neighbor could even call the police on you for disturbing their sleep.
If you are not ready to treat people the way you would love to be treated, don't bring her.

I just day laugh,the way u ladies paint african men black devil sometimes e day shock me oo,...any way sha ,na here all of us go day look

pocohantas:
Oh pls stop telling yourself lies. Cheating pains Nigerian men to the marrows.

comot jor ,watin day pain Nigeria man again ,,,we no send again o,,,u kw it's the truth

I am a Nigerian living in the US, married to a Nigerian American lady and i must say this is the most brilliant and accurate response to this issue i have ever seen. You intelligently highlighted the most important point below:

socialmediaman:
Talking about marriage, you see, many marriages may survive in Nigeria but they can’t survive abroad because there is more freedom and more options for independence there compared to Nigeria.

Should a guy go on to take his chances? You see, before you take your chances, you should know why marriages among Nigerians abroad fail. Like I mentioned earlier, many marriages in Nigeria will not survive abroad. Why? Because there is domestic violence involved, financial issues which accounts for one of the biggest reasons for divorce, incompatibility, both spouses are not on the same page in their lives (for e.g. wife wants to school first before kids but husband wants kids immediately etc), core values do not align, among others.

These marriages survive in Nigeria because of the economy, the society and community, the culture, the people etc, but abroad, these marriages will fail because there is more freedom, more options to choose from, more equal opportunity and a different lifestyle and culture. For instance, at 30s, ladies abroad consider themselves young and may be focused on their careers first before settling down, so it’s easy to sync into that if you’re a Nigerian. But in Nigeria, ladies in their mid to late 20s are already getting worried about not settling down

Huffd:
You will have no peace with a nigerian woman

Better you go there and marry one and obey her commandments or else she will call immigration on you

Rubbish talk. how about going there and minding your business rather than looking for a Nigerian woman that will make your life difficult?

DanjaNinja:
I am a Nigerian living in the US, married to a Nigerian American lady and i must say this is the most brilliant and accurate response to this issue i have ever seen. You intelligently highlighted the most important point below:

Thank you

BRATISLAVA:
Not in their world. If it doesn't fit the templates they've created online in which only men do these things, they will shout their assumptions over everything else. Half of them are in some Forest killing snakes beneath the canopy.

Their reasoning is pathetic. And there are educated people amongst them o