₦airaland Forum

abdullahi45:
Alhamdulilah, I am also a Muslim, and I understand that supporting an orphan is an important part of our Deen. However, if you will need to proceed to marriage introduction, you must be sure that she has/had completely repented and dissociated from her past life and lies, if not you will be seating on a time-bomb that can explode at any time. If she sincerely repents and lets go of her ill-ways, then Allah is the most forgiving. If you believe she had truly turned a new leaf, then please accept her wholeheartedly. But for now, set your boundary, make her understand your stance, and encourage her towards good, and nothing but good.

Also, before marriage in Islam, we are advised to be consistent with Istiharah prayer to seek guidance from Allah (SWT). We are also highly encouraged to make findings (Instisharoh) about our prospective spouse's background, personality, family, etc., this is important to detect any deceits and/or red flags.

Try what is within your capacity and leave the rest to Allah, indeed he has promised to aid his servants. May Allah grant you peaceful and blessed marriage and household. Aameen

Arewa247:
As a Muslim I will advice u to keep praying and do istikhara, if she is yours nothing can stop you from marrying her if she is not yours you will distance your self from her.
For those of you saying he should leave her what if she repent?
We are all sinners but Allah love those who sin and repent and never go back to it again.

Amiralord:
Fajazakumu llahu khayran jaza.
May Allah swt continue to increase you in knowledge.
Sincerely I would have love to marry her,walohi,only if,after digging into her recent past with me,and I found her clean, couple with the wide suggestions and opinion given here,I can have a rethink.
But brother,the little digging I did just yesterday night alone,walohi, there's no atom of sincerity on her part.

I realized she do block Me on WhatsApp to update her status, brother what is she hiding.
D final digging continues today, inshallah,I'm sure she would have deleted almost every tangible evidence,but there's something to fish out,D moment I realized she cheated on me in this relationship, that's all.
And if she doesn't,I don't think I can still stand 3 years betrayal and deceit.

abdullahi45:
Alhamdulilah, I am also a Muslim, and I understand that supporting an orphan is an important part of our Deen. However, if you will need to proceed to marriage introduction, you must be sure that she has/had completely repented and dissociated from her past life and lies, if not you will be seating on a time-bomb that can explode at any time. If she sincerely repents and lets go of her ill-ways, then Allah is the most forgiving. If you believe she had truly turned a new leaf, then please accept her wholeheartedly. But for now, set your boundary, make her understand your stance, and encourage her towards good, and nothing but good.

Also, before marriage in Islam, we are advised to be consistent with Istiharah prayer to seek guidance from Allah (SWT). We are also highly encouraged to make findings (Instisharoh) about our prospective spouse's background, personality, family, etc., this is important to detect any deceits and/or red flags.

Try what is within your capacity and leave the rest to Allah, indeed he has promised to aid his servants. May Allah grant you peaceful and blessed marriage and household. Aameen

Wuenglishepp03:
nd with all dis, u still need our advise? Ogbeni stop confusing urself, u knw what to do.

Amiralord:
Pls kindly ignore my typos because I'm sad and I felt betrayed.
My story might be a bit lengthy,I will try to highlight the point,and I need candid and mature advice please romancelanders.

I met this lady through Facebook around Aug 2017(though my junior in secondary school,but never knew her in school) and the relationship has been going on smoothly,she's the perfect example of the type of woman I always dream of, and on my part, I've been faithful to a fault to make things work out for us.

Problem started around March last year when my best friend who visited me,saw my babe,only to inform me she has given birth to 2 kids, because they live within same area before he travelled out.

I confronted my babe,but to my surprise,she denied it vehimently.Telling me she's ready to swear with anything just to prove that she has not given birth.I let it slide and we move on

This year again,my guy touch down to naija,visited me with his younger brother,only for his younger brother to recognize my babe,called me and informed my babe is married with two kids and the baby daddy is someone he can link me with to confirm the authenticity of the information.

I asked her again,she vehimently denied.Then I begin to suspect her moves.
Mind you,3 years of dating,I don't know where she stays,I don't know any of her family members,this introduction arrangements was even conceived on phone.On my part, my family all knows her, because I've been under serious pressure to settle down.

This night,I collected her phone,begin look for anything suspicious,after much resistance from her side,she tore my cloth and normal manhandling,but when she realized am not backing down,she decided to open up.
She told me she has given birth to 2kids,she said she's scared to loose me and that her reason for not telling me is because she realized I hate single mothers base on our normal discussion.

From the chat I saw in her phone,she's still well into her ex, though his not in naija,but am sure if the guy is home,they will surely bleep Wella.

Pls guys,I can't deny it,I love this lady,my mum loves her,3 years down the drain,I don't know where to start from.I didn't keep or have any lady as back up,she's my all.
Pls be sincere,advice me on how to handle this issue,I'm 28 and she's 26.Introduction Is next week Thursday, with all this red light.where do I go from here?

MufasaLion:
Being religious shouldn't make you dumb. With all the red flags staring at his face, you still want him to go pray about it?

Be logical!

Arewa247:
good people sometimes do change in tinkle of an eye so also the bad people.
Do u know that people who repent and admit never to repeat mistakes they do in the past are more trusted than those who you are pushing him to marry.

We are not saying he should marry her rather advising him to seek for Gods guidance.

I don't know why people always look down at sinners as if the will never make heaven.
The lord know we will comit sins and ask us to seek for his forgiveness. If the lord can forgive your past sins who are you to judge his judgement.

Amiralord:
To butress your point,I was shocked when I saw her chat with the paper vendor I sent her to collect news publication on change of name, cos am planning to get her international passport to JP together,I nearly cry this night.Am sad bro,so so sad.
And if you ask, she's ready to swear with anything to prove she never cheated on me since we started dating.

Mercychen:
Why would you date someone to the stage of marriage without getting to know her family? This is how you people marry ghosts.

To me, if I will advise you as a sister, I'll say drop the idea of marriage with her. Someone who has the mind to hide such info about herself from you and still lied even when confronted on two occasions can kill you, hide your body neatly, and move on and no one will ever know. That lying alone speaks volumes of her.

The dating stage is the right time to divulge everything about yourself or at least your current status to your partner. if they stay, fine if not, life goes on but trying to conceal such a past about you just to trap someone in marriage is criminal and deceit of the highest order therefore should never be overlooked. Forget the love you think you have for her now cos all those feelings ( infatuation) will soon go away. Then the reality of what she has done will become more visible and begin to haunt you badly.

Forget that trash talk of not wanting to lose you. If she truly loves you, she'll tell you the truth and she won't still be into her ex like you later found out. The only reason she's stuck with you is that her ex is out of the country and she needs to fill that gap with a man figure. If the ex comes back, like you already know, she'll have a fling with him and not feel any remorse because she is a hardened liar! Tufiakwa!

All these small girls nowadays have very hard and bad minds. I wonder what kind of females we are breeding these days.

No matter what, relationships and marriage should never be built on deception. It always has its repercussions later in life.
Let everyone come clean about some
important past about themselves so everyone can make an informed decision.
Imagine if you found this out after marriage, na for ICU you for dey by now dey battle with Oxygen cylinder.

Abeg drop the monster woman.

yungchop:
Hello bro, how does someone do Istihoroh?

wumi2017:
.. Alhamdulillahi � ,I support this with my full body.Jazakhum llahi Khairan

yungchop:
Na attention seeker

Amiralord:
Fajazakumu llahu khayran jaza.
May Allah swt continue to increase you in knowledge.
Sincerely I would have love to marry her,walohi,only if,after digging into her recent past with me,and I found her clean, couple with the wide suggestions and opinion given here,I can have a rethink.
But brother,the little digging I did just yesterday night alone,walohi, there's no atom of sincerity on her part.

I realized she do block Me on WhatsApp to update her status, brother what is she hiding.
D final digging continues today, inshallah,I'm sure she would have deleted almost every tangible evidence,but there's something to fish out,D moment I realized she cheated on me in this relationship, that's all.
And if she doesn't,I don't think I can still stand 3 years betrayal and deceit.

Amiralord:
Am not an attention seeker,let me tell you why I'm in a state of confusion.
I've been on relocating to USA for a while naw,I was told one of the surest way is to apply as someone with family,this led me into getting her all necessary documents,from Dob,to NIN,to change of name and to International passport all with my surname.

The money is not the problem,I will recover it, inshallah. Am almost done with the whole process just to apply and wait for interview date be4 my friend arrived and begin telling me same old story. Reason this brother

2, Sincerely speaking,her mother died 3 month after her birth,her dad died when she was just 10,since then,things has not been easy for her.
When I met her,I gave her hope, life and assurance that I will wipe her tears.staying with one elder brother today and tomorrow with another.No place to call a home of her own

My mind Is totally out of her,but the humanist part of me makes me cry, that who's going to wipe her tears,who's gonna Stand by her when am gone,who she's ganna talk to when she need some.

abdullahi45:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/istikhara-the-prayer-of-seeking-guidance/

abdullahi45:
Wa iyyaka bikhayr. Aameen

Aameen and you too, brother.

I understand your loyalty and obsession with her, but it clearly appears that you have been in a situationship and not a relationship.

You should be grateful to Allah (SWT) that you got to know all this before embarking on marriage. If it was after marriage, it could cause you a complete breakdown.

Yes, I understand. May Allah heal you and grant you a spouse that you deserve. Aameen

yungchop:
Bros, I've been in your shoes, infact I'm planning to relocate to America too and almost did all this change of names, bla bla bla but thank God I didn't.

Bros, her humanist part did not think about how Hurt you'll be if you find out she has lied to you from the onset. Why was she denying when you confronted her??

And besides is that your first relationship? You seem not to know how cunny women can be.

I know you love her but she does not love you bros, she after what she can gain from you. Let her talk to her Ex if she needs someone to talk to. As situation be like this ehn, if you proceed IF NO BE HER GO KILL YOU CALL ME BASTARD, you'd be dead, gone and smelling anyway.
Person wey never enter yankee Don dey keep grave secrets as una never even marry, carry am enter yankee first make you see..

I repeat, either you die misrably or you end up going to jail or end up going mad. Be like woman never torture you mentally before abi??

Carry on bro, go and marry your death.

Bros..

You dey fall hand.. Na person leftover na him you Wan die ontop?? You no get levels at all.
My advice is, this woman no be for you.. She's for the streets. Instead, focus on your American dream and marry someone over there and get your passport.

My current girl is still seeing her Ex but I'm just playing along, she blocked me from seeing her status, blocked me from IG but she does not know I still know everything she posts. The moment I told her I got admitted for my master's and I'd be in USA early next year she has been forming loving and all but me get my own plans too.. For her mind I Wan her carry go America.


If you've read 48 laws of power, you'll understand why you should not leave a man half dead, kill him once and for all.

abdullahi45:
I wish I could like this a million times. Well said Ms

Amiralord:
Pls kindly ignore my typos because I'm sad and I felt betrayed.
My story might be a bit lengthy,I will try to highlight the main point,and I need candid and mature advice please romancelanders.

I met this lady through Facebook around Aug 2017(though my junior in secondary school,but never knew her in school) and the relationship has been going on smoothly,she's the perfect example of the type of woman I always dream of, and on my part, I've been faithful to a fault to make things work out for us.

Problem started around March last year when my best friend who visited me,saw my babe,only to inform me that she has given birth to 2 kids, because they live within the same area before he travelled out.

I confronted my babe,but to my surprise,she denied it vehimently.Telling me she's ready to swear with anything just to prove that she has not given birth.I let it slide and we move on

This year again,my guy touched down to naija,visited me with his younger brother,only for his younger brother to recognize my babe,called me and informed me that my babe is married with two kids and the baby daddy is someone he can link me with to confirm the authenticity of the information.

I asked her again,she vehimently denied.Then I begin to suspect her moves.
Mind you,3 years of dating,I don't know where she stays,I don't know any of her family members,this introduction arrangements was even conceived on phone.On my part, my family all knew her, because I've been under serious pressure to settle down.

This night,I collected her phone,begin to look for anything suspicious,after much resistance from her side,she tore my cloth and normal manhandling,but when she realized am not backing down,she decided to open up.
She told me she has given birth to 2kids,she said she's scared to loose me and that her reason for not telling me is because she realized I hate single mothers base on our normal discussion and My stance on single mothers.

From the chat I saw on her phone,she's still well into her ex, though his not in naija,but am sure if the guy is home,they will surely bleep Wella.

Pls guys,I can't deny it,I love this lady,my mum loves her,3 years down the drain,I don't know where to start from.I didn't keep or have any lady as back up,she's my all.
Pls be sincere,advice me on how to handle this issue,I'm 28 and she's 26.Introduction Is next week Thursday, with all this red light.where do I go from here?

Amiralord:
Hard knock on my head